Seas of Caladhan: The Complete Boxset: Seas of Caladhan, #3

Chapter 1

Brigid

10 years before the events of The Syren’s Mutiny

Sweat trickled down my brow, itching fiercely as it dried, as if it knew in this exact moment I could do nothing about it. Cursing my father and the debts that made him desperate, I slid deeper into my hiding place, praying to any gods that would listen that I would not be found. Stowing away anywhere, let alone a merchant ship, was ill-advised.

But I was out of options.

The bundles of rope beneath my legs bit into my skin, rubbing them raw, but I didn't dare move, despite every muscle in my body telling me to run. If I was discovered now, I would be immediately returned to my father, and that could not happen.

Drowning in debt he could never pay, and faced with a daughter he did not want, my father’s decision to solve both of those problems led me here. If I were returned to him now, my fate would be sealed, and I would be married off to a man three times my age, who had only ever looked at me with lecherous intent in his eyes. 

It could not—would not—be my fate.

I would rather die.

Holding my breath, I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the damned itching across my face. My life depended on staying hidden until we were out at sea. Then, at least, it would be too late to turn back and harder to return me to my father. I knew little about sailors, but I did know they would not turn back for something as small as a stowaway. Not when there was money to be made.

The bustling of men and the movements of cargo being prepared for departure both relaxed and frayed my nerves. I needed the ship to get out of port, but I couldn’t speed up the process. I just had to remain hidden. Remain still.

Careful not to disturb the canvas covering me, I slowly brought a hand to my chest before slipping it beneath the neckline of the scratchy cotton shirt I had stolen from my father’s closet. I closed my eyes, focusing on the rapid beating of my heart. Skin on skin. A whisper of stale air flowed through my nostrils. It grounded me. My heartbeat leveled out, easing my anxiety for the moment.

I needed to keep my wits a bit longer. Offering a silent prayer to any of the gods who were listening, old or new, and hoping no one needed anything from where I was hiding, I kept my eyes closed and settled against the wood and ropes. 

Boy, bring me that line there! The booming voice shook me awake. The man’s voice was loud and gruff, with a thick northern accent that eerily reminded me of my father’s. My stomach curled, and I shied away from the voice and the mere thought of anger in the air.

The swaying of the boat was more pronounced now, and I hoped we had made it to open water.

The rope under me began unwinding. I carefully wiped my sweaty palms on my pants, bunching them in my hands tightly, and I realized there was no way for me to shift my weight off the rope without surely being discovered. My heart sank to my stomach, the oily sensation of anxiety once again wrapping itself around my lungs and clawing up my throat.

What’s on this damn line? a younger voice grunted as he tugged on the rope.

I braced myself as footsteps came closer. Before I could take another breath, the canvas was ripped from above me and light filtered in, bright to my unadjusted eyes.

Who the hell are you? the boy whispered, almost to himself, as he looked down at me.

Staring at him, I couldn’t bring myself to move. My body had frozen, and I was completely at his mercy. He couldn’t have been much older than my own fifteen years, but his muscles were well defined, and his arms and hands were rough with cuts and callouses.

He cocked his head to the side, causing his dark hair to flop into his face. My stomach flipped. If we had been in a different situation, I would have said he was attractive. He was the kind of boy my father would have beaten me simply for glancing at.

Who are you? What are you doing here? he repeated, squatting down to eye level. His blazing green eyes were intense as he stared at me. Though we appeared similar in age, the way he spoke was more mature than I’d expected. There was soft concern, edged with something that sounded vaguely like fear.

I licked my lips, dry from the open-mouthed breathing I’d been doing to calm myself. Looking around for any side of others, I whispered, Please don’t tell them I’m here.

He looked over his shoulder, to where the booming voice had come from. I have to. I’d get in a lot of trouble if they find you.

"I need passage; I need to get away from here. Please." 

His eyes were full of pity. I want to help you, I really do. But if they found out I hid you…

Beads of sweat rolled down my spine, soaking the fabric against my back. This boy was no one to me, and I was no one to him. And while he wasn’t clear about what would happen if we were discovered, the apprehension in his voice and the bruises along his arms told me plenty.

But this was my only chance at freedom. Please. Please, I need your help.

He shook his head, and his eyes flitted around nervously. I can’t. They would hurt me if they found out.

You can’t send me back, please, I begged as visions of my father’s reddened face and raised hand flashed through my mind. Tears burned in my throat at the thought of going back to him—at facing his ire. Just take the rope you need and go. They don’t have to know you saw me. Please. My voice cracked again, choked by the unshed tears I’d tried to swallow back. 

He stood, the end of the rope still in his hands. After a long moment, he nodded, but his face pinched and his shoulders hunched with tension. "Okay, I’ll… I can do that. You cover back up. If they find you—and they eventually will—I knew nothing of this. You have to promise me you will not give me up. They don’t take kindly to disobedience here, and I will be severely punished if they find out." 

Immense gratitude flooded me, making a laugh almost bubble out, but I caught it and nodded once instead. I’ll stay hidden and quiet. They won’t know you helped me. I swear it. Thank you.

Boy, what the hell’s taking you so damn long? a voice called, accompanied by equally loud footsteps. I flinched, pressing myself back into the wood of the hull. A burly man in a dirty, sweat-stained blouse stomped up and froze in place when he saw me curled against the floor, the boy standing over me. He peered down at me with curious eyes. What the hell’re you doing here, girl?

My heart stopped, and I froze, unable to speak, unable to breathe. I could only stare up at the boy and the man. I had convinced the boy, just barely, but this man seemed the type to sell me out in an instant. He also seemed the type to be quick to violence.

The man huffed, crossing his arms. Do you speak, girly?

I swallowed hard before managing a whispered, Aye.

Then what the hell’re you doing here? He leaned forward. His brow was furrowed, and he did not look sympathetic in the least, not like the boy did. He turned to the boy. And what the hell’re you doing, just looking at her? Why didn’t you call for me when you found her?

I opened my mouth to try to form a response that wouldn’t get me, or the boy, killed, but the man held up his hand. Save it for the captain. Both of you. Let’s go.

Chapter 2

Brigid

Arough hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me up, surely leaving bruises on my pale skin. The man towered over my small frame, pushing me toward the boy, whose grip was gentler, but still firm. Here, boy, make yourself useful. Since you obviously don’t know what to do without being told.

Walking behind the large man, the boy led me up the deck stairs and out into the sunlight. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see tendrils of my hair catch the rays of light, burning like flames. I knew this was going to end poorly, for both me and the boy, but I kept my back straight and my head high as we walked to the center of the deck. My fear had no place, and certainly no use, here.

An imposing man with short, dark hair, shorn close to the scalp on the sides, stepped up. Scars were slashed across his face, cutting through his eyebrows and scoring his jawline. He was the definition of rugged, and he exuded a menacing energy as he strode toward me, his boots thudding against the deck. His eyes roved over me, assessing me like he was trying to figure out what I was and how much of a threat I posed. His lip curled up, obviously not liking what he found.

What’re you doing on my ship, girl? the man asked, crossing his arms over his chest. His voice was quiet, but edged with a dark undertone that promised violence and made me worry more for the boy than for myself.

Panic surged like the waves lapping at the sides of the ship, and I ran through all the possibilities I was facing. The most likely option was that they would lock me up and dump me at the next port, but if things went poorly, he would kill me quickly.

I doubted they would grant the boy who found me such a quick punishment.

We found her in the hold, captain. Under some canvas, the large man from before piped in. The boy was just staring at her like a lump on a log.

Quiet. I asked her, not you, the captain snapped, not taking his eyes off me. 

Rolling my shoulders back, I steeled my nerves, despite the trembling of my knees. I’m seeking passage, sir.

The captain snorted. Passage? Usually, you pay for passage, not hide away like a thief. Why’re you really here?

I’m running, sir, I admitted quietly, still holding his gaze. From my father.

And why didn’t you pay? he asked, looking down his nose at me. 

I have no money. If I told this man my story, would it even matter? Likely not, based on his attitude toward me already. And I had nowhere else to go and no one to turn to. Your ship is going to Bhodheas, and I can start over there.

Women are bad luck on a ship.

I ducked my head at that. I had heard the superstition, along with many others, from my father time and time again. He used them as his excuses for treating me the way he did. I know, sir. But I had no other choice. I needed to get away.

If you knew you’d be bad luck, that’s just bad manners, the man sneered. He turned to the large man who had led me up with the boy. He was becoming paler with each passing moment. How far are we from land, Quinn? 

The man shook his head, casting a quick glance off the side of the ship, where nothing but water waited. Too far.

The captain looked back at me for a long moment. He stared at me, as if looking through me rather than at me. I fidgeted under his hard gaze.

His eyes snapped back into focus. With a steady voice, he simply said, Throw her off. 

My eyes widened, and I opened my mouth to protest, but the boy beat me to it. "We can’t throw her off! She’s a child!" 

She’s not a babe, Caelum. If she’s got enough wits about her to sneak onto my ship, she can take responsibility for her own actions, the captain said, holding his gaze on me. Finally, he turned to look at the boy, his eyes hardening. I knew he would face the captain’s wrath once they were alone, and my stomach churned for him. I’ll not risk the wrath of the sea over a lass who snuck onto my ship. Throw her off. And I’ll deal with you later.

But…

No, Caelum. And if I hear another word of argument, there’ll be hell to pay. The captain turned away from both of us. "She leaves the ship, and since we’re too far from land, she leaves the ship now."

Please, Captain, I may be a girl, but I can work. Let me earn my passage, I pleaded, wringing my hands in the hem of my shirt. While I was willing to do anything to get away from my father and the man he was selling me to, drowning wasn’t my first resort.

The captain stopped in his tracks and turned back around, laughter in his eyes. He barked out a harsh noise. You? You think you can be a member of my crew? I doubt that very much, girly. 

I can. I met his eyes despite every fiber of my being telling me it would only result in pain. If I cowered to this man, if I showed him my fear, I would never survive. His smile dropped, when I continued. I worked on my father’s farm growing up. I know how to do hard labor.

The captain stepped up close to me, too close. He leaned down until his hot breath tickled my cheek as he sneered, And is that why you’re running from him? For making you earn your keep?

No, captain. I’m running because he tried to sell me to a laird three times my age to relieve his own debts. And I refused. I forced myself to maintain eye contact with the captain. He had never been told he would be the property of a withering old man who looked at me with nothing but bad intentions. However intimidating this man might be, I needed to hold my ground if I had any hopes of living through this. 

Father, we can’t just throw her off. We can make her leave at the next port, Caelum pleaded again from my side, still clinging to my arm. She’s just a child.

This captain was Caelum’s father?

My stomach churned. The boy had been petrified to help me, and all along it was his own father he was afraid of. Sympathy warred with my panic, but I needed to focus on getting myself out of this situation. At least they were unlikely to kill the boy. The same could not be said for me, though.

The captain looked at me for a long time, and I couldn’t read his eyes. After what felt like hours, he switched his gaze to Quinn. Throw her off. Now. And have some men hold on to Caelum there. He seems to be smitten with the stowaway and has forgotten how to follow orders.

Quinn nodded to several crew members, who promptly grabbed both Caelum and me. They pulled him toward the mast where they began tying him up, while someone yanked me toward the ship’s side. Both of us fought the entire way, to no avail.

Please, don’t do this, I begged the men holding me. I struggled to get away as we neared the railing, but their grips on my arms was too strong. I never thought I would stoop to begging for my life, but as drowning in the cold north Faileas Sea stared me in the face, I would do whatever it took.

Girls’re bad luck. You’ll anger the sea if we keep you here, the man on my left muttered. It’s nothing personal, girly.

Please. I need help, please. I can’t swim well. Don’t do this. I was nearly sobbing. I didn’t want this to be the last moment of my life. Tugging my arms away roughly, I managed to get a few steps back toward the center of the deck before their grips returned, digging into my arms so tightly my bones ached. They lifted me up off my feet, carrying me back toward the deck railing. 

No! Caelum roared from where he was tied to the mast. He struggled against the bindings, the rope biting into his skin, turning it so red that even I could see it. 

A deckhand delivered a harsh blow to his face, knocking him unconscious, his head slumping down onto his chest.

Bile rose in my throat, battling with my tears. They had struck him for helping me. And if his previous words were to be believed, they would do much worse once I was gone. 

I was alone. And I was going to die. 

Sorry, girl. This is how it has to be, the man holding me said, his grip tightening. 

Crying out, I didn’t have time to respond with words before they heaved me over the railing. I plunged into the icy waters, the cold depths swirling up around my body, pulling the fabric of my baggy clothes up and around me, suffocating me. I kicked as hard as I could, but I knew I could not swim well. So, I sank. The sunlight dimmed as my body fell further beneath the surface.

Suddenly, several cool, sharp fingers wrapped around my ankle from below, and I was dragged into the consuming darkness of the cold depths.

Chapter 3

Brigid

Squinting against the burning of the salty water and the sudden darkness, my eyes widened at the sight in front of me. Two women stared back at me, hair undulating in the water behind them. But they had tails. A stream of bubbles escaped my mouth as I tried to scream, but water rushed into my mouth and down my throat.

One of them, a woman with rich brown skin and thick waves of hair, reached out to me, and suddenly, I could breathe again. I spit and coughed as water dribbled from my lips and down my chin. A sphere of air surrounded me, the ripple of the water beyond reflecting against the thin barrier.

Mesmerized, I pushed my hand through the bubble effortlessly, meeting the cold water. Light glinted off the gold of the dark-haired woman’s tail and cast rays across my hand.

Who are you? I gasped, pulling my hand back inside and turning my gaze to my rescuers. The other woman watched me carefully, her lavender tail swishing in the dark of the sea. She tilted her head slightly, the movement rippling through her golden curtain of hair drifting up above her head.

They were both beautiful. I’d read stories of alluring women who drew men into the sea, only to kill them. But I’d never dreamt of believing the words in my mother’s old books. Yet here were two creatures who fit every depiction of those stories.

I am Kyla, the golden-tailed one said. She motioned toward the blonde, who nodded once. This is Maira. Are you well?

I nodded, still too stunned by their presence to answer her question properly. In all reality, I was far from fine, but I was alive, and that was more than I’d been expecting mere moments ago. "You saved me. I… thank you."

You don’t have to thank us for that, Maira said, scoffing lightly. How did you end up in the water?

Chewing on my lip, I debated what to tell them. Would they send me back to my father? Or would they help me? Looking at Kyla, she nodded with a smile. It’s okay, you can tell us. You’re safe now.

The captain of the ship had me thrown overboard. I’d stowed away, and they discovered me. My arms wrapped around my middle, trying to protect my heart as I whispered the heavy words. I was running away from my father. Maira’s face hardened at my words as my nerves flitted about in my belly, mirroring the twitch of her tail. I shook my head, tears burning my eyes as my voice cracked. I—I can’t go back to him. Please don’t take me back.

Maira opened her mouth, but Kyla spoke first, stretching her hands out toward me with her palms up. Calm, be calm. Breathe. We will never send you back there. I told you that you are safe. What’s your name?

Brigid, I replied, wanting nothing more than to go hide somewhere, away from both their heavy gazes. Kyla motioned with a hand at her chest, fingers drawing together as she raised it up her sternum, inhaling dramatically. I mimicked the motion, warmth spreading through me as she smiled and nodded in approval.

Well, Brigid, would you allow us to take you to our home? There are options available to you, but trust that you’ll never go back to your father if you don’t want to. The hand resting on her chest reached for me.

My eyes caught Maira, grinding her teeth with her eyes fixed on the surface. She looked back at me, and then to Kyla, as if she were asking permission.

Maira, Kyla’s voice was sharp as she spoke. She shook her head once and the command in that one motion made my body lock up, muscle memory taking over despite Kyla’s soft voice being nothing like my father’s. Not now.

Maira huffed, but turned her sapphire eyes to mine. You’re safe, Brigid. They will never hurt you again.

Their words washed over me, settling on my skin. Was it really a choice? I would choose anything over returning to my father and the village in Gaisin. Anything these women—these creatures—could offer me would be a better fate. After a moment, I nodded. I will go with you.

Good, Kyla said, her serene smile calming my anxiety more than any amount of deep breathing. She had such confidence in herself, every movement, every word. I wanted that. I wanted to be that. She tightened her grip on my hand as Maira took hold of the other one. Hold on, this might unnerve you a bit.

Before I could ask what would unnerve me, we were off, moving through the water at a speed I’d never thought was possible. My stomach rolled, and I clenched my jaw to fight back the wave of nausea. The ocean passed by in a blur, my eyes darting back and forth, trying desperately to soak in the experience of darting between schools of fish and weaving through fields of seagrass. I’d never even swam in a lake before, so seeing the underside of the sea was something I wanted to cherish now that fear wasn’t gripping my bones.

My eyes widened as we slowed, approaching the gaping mouth of a large stone wall. Cragged edges framed the opening that led deep into the stone. Light filtered through the depths of the water, but darkness quickly reigned as I peered into the entrance. Only the first steps into the cave were visible.

Beyond that, the unknown. I’m fairly sure my mouth fell open.

We slowed, pulling up in front of the entrance to the cavern. Both Maira and Kyla turned to me with smiles on their faces. Kyla squeezed my hand. Welcome to Neamh na Mara.

What does that mean? I breathed out, tilting my head back to take in the enormity of the stone wall that stretched out from the entrance. My cheeks heated as I realized how I’d sounded. A foolish child, questioning those who had saved me. I had no business questioning anyone. Ducking my head, I grimaced. I couldn’t make them angry, couldn’t give them any reason to want to send me back. I’m sorry.

Kyla laughed, a soft sound that was muted by the water. Never apologize for your curiosity. It means Heavens of the Sea in the old language. This is our home.

You live in there? I asked, pointing at the entrance. It was beautiful, but the thought of living inside the rocks made my stomach twist slightly. I loved the sun, loved the warmth on my skin. Would I have to stay beneath the rocks for the rest of time?

Maira nodded, moving into the entrance. Yes, with our queen. She and the others are ready to meet you.

Kyla placed her hand on my shoulder. It’s not as frightening as it seems, I promise. It’s very cozy.

I’ll get the others, Maira said, her voice a soft murmur as she turned and disappeared into the darkness of the cave.

My hands trembled, and I clasped them together in front of me to keep Kyla from noticing. Their queen? Neither of them had said they were bringing me to their queen, and the idea of facing someone who commanded such a title was enough to make me want to shrink back into myself. I couldn’t do this. My breathing quickened and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. There was nowhere else to go, and looking up, I knew I wouldn’t make it back to the surface without their air bubbles. But I needed to get away. I couldn’t meet a queen. I couldn’t⁠—

Kyla swam up closer beside me, her tail brushing up against my leg. It’s okay. You’re safe here.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and let her words wash over me.

Can I touch you?

Taking a shaky breath through my nose, I nodded. Her hand was cool and damp against my shoulder, but it instantly slowed my racing heart and pulled me back into my body.

You can do this, Brigid. Her voice was a whisper across my skin. You are strong. You are brave. This world cannot break you. No one will harm you here.

I clung to her words like a lifeline, repeating them over and over in my head to the rhythm of my breath. Finally, the world no longer felt like it was closing in on me, and the pressure around my ribs lessened. I could do this. If it meant freedom from my father, safety, and security, I could do this. Opening my eyes, I looked at her, nodding as I pulled my shoulders back. I’m ready.

Does that happen often? she asked, tilting her head at me as her fingers trailed slowly down my shoulder to hold my hand.

I couldn’t bring myself to admit out loud that the world often got too loud, too overwhelming, too much. Instead, I just nodded, clinging to her hand so tightly it likely hurt her.

Squeezing my hand back with a startling strength, she smiled and tugged me gently behind her into the mouth of the cave. The darkness beneath the surface deepened as we moved further inside the rockface. You are strong, Brigid. Nothing can harm you.

Chapter 4

Brigid

Entering a large open cavern, the four others in the room turned toward us as one. My heart dropped into my stomach as the weight of their eyes was burned into my skin. I was never good with judgment, always falling short in the eyes of my father and anyone he associated with. Knowing they were looking at me, studying me, forming silent opinions about me clung to the hairs on the back of my neck and crawled down my spine. I wanted to hide behind Kyla, to disappear into the walls, but I knew I couldn’t.

This is Brigid, Kyla introduced, pulling me into the center of the room and nodding toward a woman off to the side.

My eyes tracked over to her, then widened, just barely keeping my jaw from dropping. I’d thought Kyla and Maira were beautiful, but this woman was ethereal. Hair the color of moonlight flowed around her head like a halo, topped by a crown of glinting pearls and shells. Icy blue eyes glided over my body like a feather as we moved closer, my heart speeding up. This was certainly their queen. And I’d need her approval.

I wanted her approval.

Hello, Brigid, the queen greeted, her voice like carved and polished crystal. I am Cliodhna.

Hi, I replied, my cheeks heating even though I was beneath the cool water. My stomach fluttered and twisted, nerves wrapping around it like gnarled tree roots. My words stuck in my throat. I wanted to compliment her name and tell her I had read it before in my mother’s storybooks. But I couldn’t. Couldn’t bring myself to say anything beyond a fumbled greeting. There was no possible way this queen—this goddess—would ever approve me to join her collection of perfect creatures.

What has Kyla told you about me? Cliodhna asked, surging toward the bubble around me. In an instant, a tail the same color as her hair changed into legs as she stepped inside, hair dripping water down her naked form. I kept my eyes firmly on her neck, not wanting to show disrespect by looking at either her face or her body.

I swallowed past the anxiety that blocked my throat, hot shame burning my chest despite the cool breeze from the water circling around me. Ignorance was my biggest fear, my biggest failing. I wanted to know everything. Knowledge was power, and I didn’t want to admit that I knew nothing about her. That you are their queen. And that I would be safe here.

She nodded once. A firm movement that ushered in more confidence than I could have hoped to emulate over the course of my entire life. I could see where Kyla had gotten her mannerisms from. Yes, you will be safe here. We are women sacrificed to the sea by angered men. We have been given a new life. You have a choice, Brigid, to stay and become one of us, or to be sent along to safety and freedom with your memories of our existence taken.

Are you… I took a deep breath. Are you mermaids?

No, she snapped. Do not call us that.

On instinct, I recoiled, lowering my head until my chin brushed up against my chest. My apologies, my queen. Please forgive me.

Keeping my eyes on my feet, the surrounding water moved, and I clenched my fists at my sides as a long finger tucked under my chin, lifting my gaze. Cliodhna was smiling, an apology written on her face. Do not apologize to me, Brigid. But take care to not call us that. We are not mermaids, we are syrens. Syrens carry the magic of the sea in their veins. Mermaids are a figment of a child’s imagination. Do not confuse the two.

I nodded, swallowing hard. Syrens, then. Of course.

Now, do you want to be a syren, or do you want to be taken back to the surface? Cliodhna dropped her finger from my chin and stepped back. My skin instantly missed her touch.

Hardly a choice, just as I’d suspected. If I returned to the world above these seas, without memories of the women who saved me, I would still be that frightened girl who stowed away on that ship. But I didn’t want to be her anymore. I wanted to be like the women in front of me. Confident. Beautiful. Dangerous.

And if I become one of you… I looked over at Kyla, who smiled encouragingly as I clasped my hands to ease their shaking. Despite my earlier desire to be like the syrens, my body wanted nothing more than to curl in on itself, like it had when the boy had discovered me. Hiding away from the world. Would I be able to help others like me?

Cliodhna laughed, a songbird's tune echoing in the chamber. You will be able to do far more than that. At my quizzical look, she continued, My syrens and I are the protectors of women in the seas and avengers of them as well. Men who believe themselves above us will find themselves below us rather quickly.

A tickle of satisfaction flowed through me at the thought of being able to drown men like my father and the captain, to rid the world of them before they harmed anyone else. How do we do that?

As a syren, you will have the full extent of my magic at your disposal. Our song sends men into madness, driving them into the seas below where we will be waiting with talons to hold them as they struggle and teeth ready to rip flesh as they die. She tilted her head as she studied me, walking around me and running her fingers through my hair before coming face to face with me. Aren’t you angry, my child? At what they did to you?

Now that I was not fearing my immediate and horrible death by drowning, I was angry. Angry at my father, who’d driven me to try and escape on the ship. Angry at the old man who was to be my husband and how he looked at women as his property to treat however he wanted without repercussions. Angry at the captain of the ship, who’s superstitions led to his callous disregard for human life. Angry at the men who’d thrown me over and were incapable of individual thought. Angry at the boy who’d found me, for giving me hope, only to have it ripped away.

It was him I was angriest at.

He’d given me hope, encouragement, and foolishly, I’d believed him. I had looked into his swirling green eyes and let myself hope and believe I could hide beneath that canvas until I reached safety. Desperation was far easier to deal with than shattered hope, though. And I should have stayed in my fearful desperation. My pitiful hopelessness. It would have been far safer.

The boy never should have offered me any kind of ludicrous daydreams about my safety aboard the ship. He should have turned me in immediately. At least then, I would never have to live with the memory of his face, fighting against those men to reach me. The sound of a fist hitting his face and the image of him slumping as they tied him to the mast. He hadn’t even seen me thrown overboard.

Did he care that I was gone?

The burning rage grew deep in my chest, warming my neck and face as my fists clenched at my sides. Yes, I am angry.

A smile crept across the queen’s face, pink lips pulling back to reveal sharp teeth. Good.

I want to become a syren, I said, determination coursing through every ounce of my soul. I would become a syren. I would join these women. And I would exact my vengeance.

Then you shall. She turned to Maira and Kyla, both of who were still behind me. You may go join the others.

Both women bowed their heads deeply before moving to join the three other women across the cavern. Maira swam straight toward the one with hair a few shades lighter than my own fiery copper. They embraced each other, sharing a soft kiss before letting their foreheads touch as they muttered to each other. My heart tugged at the scene, longing for something else I’d never had.

Kyla joined the other two, sitting between them. The one on Kyla’s right was an embodiment of the setting sun, with caramel waves that floated around her head like a halo, framing her face, the color of sun-kissed sand. Her tail was the color of the ocean at dusk, a dusty purple and blue that mirrored in reverse the syren that sat at Kyla’s left. She was all angles and sharp eyes, taking in my form even as she continued her conversation with the others.

I reluctantly turned my attention back to Cliodhna, forcing myself to stop staring at the other syrens as one request bubbled on my tongue. The boy. The one who’d tried to save me.

Caelum.

Despite my anger at him, I didn’t want him to suffer at the hands of that horrible captain. At the hands of his father. The sickening sound of his nose cracking echoed in my ears…

He needed saving, too. Maybe even more so than I did.

There was a boy, I said, trying to get the words out before I couldn’t anymore. He tried to save me, and they are going to punish him for it. They’d already struck him to stop him from helping me, and they are going to do worse. Can we go back for him?

Cliodhna looked at me, her face unreadable. No, we cannot. He may have saved you today, but given time, he would surely have been the one to throw you over. No, you are safe and that’s what matters. We saved you. Not him.

I wanted to protest, to plead to go back and rescue this boy from his father, but I couldn’t risk jeopardizing my new home. She was right, Kyla and Maira had ultimately saved me, and I owed it to them to honor the wishes of their queen. Those men would never truly harm the boy. He was one of them and would become just like his father one day. I was certain of that, whether it was by choice or by force.

I nodded. I understand.

Now, are you ready for your transformation to begin?

Taking a deep breath, I nodded again. I was ready. Ready for a new life, and a chance to live my life the way I chose.

It may tingle, but it will not hurt, she said, reaching a hand toward me, one finger outstretched in a gesture that on anyone else would have been seen as lazy. But on her, it was intentional. Decisive.

Before I had a chance to react, or even brace myself for what was coming, ribbons of water pulsed from her fingertips. The tendrils wrapped around my body like a warm hug and shrouded the cavern from my view behind bubbles and gushing veins of salt water. There was a tugging behind my navel, like a hook pulling the skin back to my spine. More warmth spread from that spot, flowing down my hips and thighs and calves. It grew hotter, wrapping around the outsides of my legs like hands, pressing them together. I closed my eyes to the sensations, letting my body feel them as the tingling began to fade.

At once, the ribbons of warm water surrounding me collapsed, and the cold ocean surged in around me. But goosebumps didn’t form on my body like they typically did when I grew chilled, which was all the time in the little one-room cottage with no fireplace I’d lived in. No, it was like I knew the water should have been cold, but it wasn’t. It was like a gentle caress across my skin, a breath of a warm summer breeze. Opening my eyes, I hesitated briefly before looking down at myself.

Talons grew from my nails, curving to sharp points as I studied my hands. Red slipped in the edges of my vision, and I pulled my hands away, looking down at the tail that now grew from my waist and swished unconsciously, keeping me afloat in the water. Red and silver, silver and red.

I blinked at the scales that began at my waist, sparse at first, and as they grew denser around my hips and morphed into one long tail. Red at the outside, along my hips and tracing the edges of the large fin, and silver in the middle, glinting in the low light.

My heart seemed frozen in amazement.

My eyes darted up to Cliodhna, who had reformed her own tail and was watching me with satisfactory pride on her face.

Thank you. My voice cracked with the grateful tears that filled my throat. Thank you for this.

Do not thank me with your words, child, she said, swimming up to me to take me in. Thank me by joining your fellow syrens and teaching men that the sea is not a merciful creature they can bend to their whims.

I nodded, intent on making this woman proud. Men had never been kind to me, and this group, this new purpose, soothed the raw wounds in my heart. I let rage bubble up in my heart, burning and spreading over everything with a tinge of red and flame.

I would wash my hands in the blood of those men who believed themselves better than women—of those men who believed women were their property and playthings.

It was as if the chains that had been wrapped around me my entire life, crisscrossing over my chest and pinning my arms and legs together… had just fallen away. I was free.

Raising my chin with confidence I’d not felt in a long, long time, I smiled at Cliodhna, showing off my newly pointed teeth. As you wish, my queen.

Chapter 5

Brigid

The next several days passed in a blur of activity and new information. It quickly became painfully obvious that despite knowing how to read and write, my education had been woefully neglected. It didn’t surprise me, just fueled my anger. My father had only cared about what I could achieve for him, and anything beyond the bare minimum needed to keep me alive was an effort he would not put forth.

My anger warred with my frustration at just how much I did not know.

Kyla and Maira tried to calm and reassure me it wasn’t my fault and that I would have the time to learn everything I ever wanted to learn. But still, my face flushed with shame every time one of the syrens discussed something I was ignorant of.

In the mornings, the syrens took turns teaching me whatever they could about their world. In the afternoons, I learned what it meant to be a syren: controlling my song, transforming between my human and syren forms, learning to manipulate water.

The evenings were mine to spend as I wished. And most evenings, I found myself in the room I shared with Kyla, curled in the hanging bed away from the world.

Was it wise to stew alone in my anger? Likely not. But the syrens had their own friendships, and their own bonds. And I wasn’t one of them. Not yet. I knew I should try to form friendships, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could bring myself to learn, to soak in every bit of information they shared, cataloging it and running through it in my mind later as I lay in the darkness.

I would never be ignorant again. I would never be vulnerable.

The mantra worked as long as I was awake. But when sleep came, my newfound strength quickly waned in the darkness. Leaving way for the fearful and sniveling girl who had been tossed aside, again and again.

Useless girl, my father had snarled, tangling his hand in my knotted hair as he hauled me out of the bed. Get up. You have work to do.

I… I coughed, trying desperately to suck in a breath and ease my spasming lungs. I’d been sick for days, delirious with fever, and my throat filled with needles. Hands wrapped around my middle, pushing and squeezing my chest to the point of pain. I can’t, father. I can’t… breathe.

My protests went unheard as he dragged me through the cottage. I flinched as the door flung open, clattering against the stone. He tossed me into the frosty morning, dawn barely turning the sky gray as I fell to the frost covered grass that dug into my knees and palms. Get up, you useless child. Earn your keep or you’ll be going to the McDonnal’s far sooner than you think.

Fear caused the spasming and coughing fit this time, and I pulled on every ounce of strength to pull my swaying body upright. I would not give my father a reason to send me to that monster. Nodding, my matted hair slipped over my face. I sucked in a deep and painful breath, pushing out the words in one go. Yes, Father.

He sneered at me, curling his lip up in disgust before slamming the door in my face, leaving me stranded in my nightgown.

In the distance, the birds began their morning song. I flinched, tears welling in my eyes at the pain that ricocheted through my body. My feet were already numb from the cold, and my eyes stayed fixed on them as I walked. I couldn’t feel the steps, couldn’t feel them moving as I made my way to the barn. I didn’t make it, though, collapsing against the door before I could reach for it.

Sobs wrenched from my mouth as the wood scraped against my side. Hot tears flowed down my cheeks, and I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. I let my head fall against the wood, my eyes drifting closed as black dotted my vision.

Brigid. Brigid! Wake up! Hands grasped my shoulders, shaking me awake with a gasp. Wide, amber eyes peered down at me. A soft breath puffed against my face and the hands on my shoulders moved to cup my cheeks. Brigid, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare.

Kyla. Kyla was in front of me. My eyes left her face, roaming behind her and taking in the rockface, I turned to see Maira’s own concerned blue eyes staring back at me, the twitch of my tail hanging from the bed. The tightness in my chest eased, and I slumped against the canvas supporting my body. I wasn’t there anymore. I wasn’t there. I was in the caves. I was with the syrens. I was safe.

Come with us, Brigid, Kyla said, her voice barely louder than a whisper as she intertwined our fingers and tugged me from the bed. Maira came up on the other side of me, taking my other hand.

Together, they pulled me into another cavern. A larger canvas hammock hung there, big enough for several people to fit comfortably side by side. Kyla swam forward, urging me toward the bed.

Get in, Maira said, pushing at my lower back. We’ll protect you tonight.

I didn’t have it in me to fight off their help or insist that I was fine and that I could sleep alone. I didn’t want to sleep alone. So, I nodded and settled in the middle of the hammock, both of the syrens tucking into either side of me.

I’m sorry I woke you both. I sniffed. Pressed between them, I couldn’t reach up to wipe my tears away, and they trickled from the corners of my eyes, slowly trailing down my face into my hair.

Don’t, Maira snarled. Her voice softened she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, wiping the tears that dampened it. Do not apologize for what they put you through. Do not apologize for your emotions.

I know I didn’t have it as bad as some of the other women in the village, I said, shaking my head as I thought of Maeve, the woman married to the wheat farmer two farms over, who had been killed by her husband in a fit of drunken rage. At least I’m still alive.

People can do worse things than kill you, Brigid. Kyla’s soft and shattered voice broke the silence. Surviving what they throw at you is the true battle. And you are a survivor, make no doubt about it.

My mouth opened to offer another apology and take back the words, but even in the darkness, I saw Maira’s raised eyebrow and swallowed the words like a bitter tea. Instead, I bit my cheek and said nothing, relishing the comfort of their bodies pressed against mine.

The three of us laid in silence for what felt like ages. None of us spoke, but occasionally, Kyla’s hand would trace a path down my arm to my fingers, where she would squeeze gently before retracing her path to my shoulder.

Will it ever get better? I asked, my scratchy voice shattering the peaceful silence.

It will, Kyla replied in the darkness. I felt more than heard the deep breath she took, her chest moving against my side. It will take time, though.

Good that we have all the time in the world, Maira added, her voice thick with sleep. She patted my hand, settling in deeper against my side. You will get there, Brigid. You have us.

How long did it take for you?

Silence met my question, and I feared that I had overstepped. Just as I was about to speak, to pull the words back into my chest as best I could, Maira spoke. Her voice was softer than I’d ever heard it. Some days, I still think I haven’t quite gotten there.

What helps?

Our purpose, she said with a shrug. Cordelia.

The smile in her voice brought one of my own. Cordelia, hmm?

I didn’t know if it was acceptable to tease her, but it felt right. It felt like what I should say in the moment.

Kyla chuckled. They’ve been smitten with each other since Cordelia joined us.

I could hear Maira’s scowl. Adjusting, I rolled over until I was on my side, facing the blonde. I hesitated slightly, pushing the words out before I could swallow them back. She helps? Truly?

She does, was her immediate response.

But don’t seek out your healing in someone else, Brigid, Kyla added. You have to find it in yourself, too.

Let her find it wherever she can, Kyla, Maira snapped. Not all of us can find the inner peace you have.

Biting my tongue, the room filled with thick tension, though neither syren said anything else. Kyla was right, of course. If I found my healing in someone else, when they inevitably left me behind, I would be right back where I was. But at the same time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to find that peace alone. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find that peace at all. I wasn’t even sure how to begin that journey. But I had time, I supposed. Perhaps that was all I needed. Time.

Thank you both. My voice broke through the tension, dispelling it as though I’d waved a hand through a forest of seaweed, pushing it along to the edges of the room. Thank you for staying.

Once more, the silence was comfortable, like a worn blanket to snuggle into on a cold morning. Without a second thought, I let the weight of the two women on either side of me ground me and chase away my nightmares.

I would learn to chase them away myself later.

For now, I would relish sleeping peacefully for the remainder of the night.

Chapter 6

Brigid

B rigid, you’ll be going out with Cordelia and Maira today, Cliodhna said, foregoing any greetings as we gathered in the main chamber of the caves.

As you wish, I replied, bowing my head. Upon raising it, my eyes flitted to Maira and Kyla before snapping back to my queen.

I had no clue what she meant by going out, but I also knew better than to question the magnificent creature before me. She was a goddess, and I was nothing. I pulled my hands behind my back, twisting them together. The twinge of my knuckles scraping together cut through the sharpness of my anxiety. It was a battle to keep my shoulders back and not curl in on myself.

Cliodhna studied me for a moment, her lips pursed.

My heart quickened. Had I offended her somehow? I had been so careful to avoid that, and yet, I was failing once more. Just as I’d opened my mouth to apologize for whatever slight I’d committed, she nodded, turning and surging away with a powerful wave of her tail. Pressure built behind my eyes. I could not even do this right, it seemed.

Water surged against my face, like a strong gust of wind as if we’d been above. Silence fell as the queen left us, and finally, I was able to pull the words from my throat. Going out where?

Maira’s grin was feral. Hunting.

Swimming forward, Cordelia huffed at the blonde, hitting her arm with a gentleness that could never truly hurt. You’re going to scare her. Cordelia turned to me, a pretty pink blush spreading across her ivory-colored skin. Don’t mind her, Brigid. We’re going scouting. To look for any threats or ships that might become a target for us.

How is that different from what I said? Maira scowled, crossing her arms. You just said it with more words.

What will I be doing? I asked, warmth spreading through my chest as I watched the two syrens interact. They were a balancing act. Where Maira was all sharp and jagged edges, Cordelia was smooth and rounded. Where Maira was cold like a winter midnight, Cordelia was warm like a summer afternoon. They fit together, better than I could ever have dreamed. I wanted that. I wanted someone to balance me, to hold me together and absorb the sharpness of my broken soul.

You only have to observe this time, Kyla said, swimming up to join us after finishing her conversation with Iona and Nerina. Take all the time you need to get accustomed to things, Brigid. Don’t rush.

The placating tone had me gritting my teeth. I wasn’t weak. I could do this—do whatever the rest of them did. I can do more.

Kyla only smiled, her glowing amber eyes never leaving my face. I know you can. And you will. In time. But at least take today to observe and learn how things work. You don’t have to be everything all at once.

She’s right, Cordelia added, smiling as her fingers intertwined with Maira’s. Just watch us today. And then, tomorrow, if you want to do more, if you’re ready to do more, we can do that. Let us just show you today.

Reluctantly, I nodded. They were right, and as much as I wanted to prove myself, if I made a fool of myself by rushing into things, it would only set me back. I needed to take the time to learn and analyze every aspect of being a syren, and then perfect it. Nodding again, I squared my shoulders. When do we leave?

Now, if you’re ready.

Let’s go.

The seas were magnificent.

I’d only ever seen the waters of the Faileas Seas from a distance along the east of Tuathnach atop the hills of Gaisin when the fog lifted from the cliffs enough. Oh, how I wished I’d seen them sooner. The waves called to me, beckoning me in and folding me into their embrace.

But now, we were beneath the Seoltan Seas of the west. And the waters were stunning, like blue crystal, fracturing the light from the sun as it came down into the depths. Shadows and light, columns of sunlight reaching down and creating pools of light along the ocean floor.

I’d never felt more at home.

Maira and Cordelia took turns pointing out various creatures, plants, and rock formations as we entered the Straits of Marbh. The rocks were my favorite part; the craggy towers of stone reaching up to hide just beneath the surface, waiting to rip apart an unsuspecting ship that passed over it.

We left the other side of the Straits, emerging once more into the Faileas Seas and turning south, skirting along what Maira explained was the coast of Bhodheas, in the space between the port of Tiech and the capitol of Priomh. My heart squeezed. Priomh had been my hopeful destination.

I’d never made it as a human, but now, I could see the seas around it as a syren. I would see every nook and cranny of this world, I vowed. Lifetimes worth of time lay ahead of me, and I would use every second of it.

My tail pushed harder, driving me toward the coast and surging through the waters. I wanted to see the town, the port, the docks. Would the ship I escaped on be there? It should have made port by now.

Instead of going toward the towns and ports, though, Cordelia and Maira led us along the coast, surveying the waters that crashed against the steep cliffs. We trailed along for a bit, before Maira turned us away into the deeper waters out to sea. They had a calm confidence, always certain of where they were going. I could see no discernable way they should be able to navigate the water so easily. I hoped I could learn that.

The deep waters were just as breathtaking as the cliffs along the coast had been. The calmness of the water itself and the bustling life of the fish and plants that lived in it was a beautiful balance. I wanted to stay in one place and just soak in the vision, but Maira and Cordelia had their mission to hunt. And I had mine: to learn.

There, Cordelia said, raising a taloned finger to point ahead of us.

In the distance, I saw a dark shape on the surface of the water. Squinting, I tried to make out more details as we slowed. Is that a ship?

We’d not seen any so far, the seas unusually empty, according to Cordelia. It wasn’t fishing season, she’d explained, but there still should have been more ships. Subsistence fishermen—those who fished for survival instead of coin—would take whatever they could get. But they tended to stay toward the coastline, not out in the depths as we were.

Let’s find out. Maira wiggled her eyebrows, and with another menacing grin, she shot off through the water, pulling my attention back to the task at hand.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, pale blue glinting in the fractured sunlight that seeped down from the surface. The fond smile softened the exasperated sigh that left her lips. Come now, Brigid. Before she gets herself into trouble.

Chapter 7

Brigid

As Cordelia and I swam after Maira, the shape of the ship atop the water grew larger and larger. Barnacles covered the keel and stretched up the sides of the hull of the old wood. Maira halted a short distance away, waiting for us to catch up. Once we reached her, she grabbed our hands and pulled us to the surface with her.

Heads breaking water, the icy wind stung my eyes as I searched out the ship’s form. I knew little about ships, but I knew this one was large. Three masts, large, yellowed canvas sails, port holes that stretched across the sides and led to an