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    The Connection Book: 50 ways to communicate more effectively
    The Connection Book: 50 ways to communicate more effectively
    The Connection Book: 50 ways to communicate more effectively
    Ebook149 pages1 hour

    The Connection Book: 50 ways to communicate more effectively

    By Emma Serlin

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    About this ebook

    From Brexit to Trump, communication has never clearly been so influential, continually centre stage in influencing our hearts, minds and essentially the narrative of our civilisation. We are surrounded by the impact of good and bad communication, both in our own lives and in the world stage. And we are swayed, even against better judgement by persuasive communicators. This book will give people simple usable tools to improve and enrich their communication in 5 key areas, so they feel more confident and effective in meetings, presentations, interviews, social situations and can even have arguments more effectively! For the very first time, readers will be able to read about and apply a unique methodology that has been taught successfully to hundreds of happy clients since 2008 – and the opportunity to experience gems from that method at a fraction of the price of a session.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLID Publishing
    Release dateSep 21, 2017
    ISBN9781917391009
    The Connection Book: 50 ways to communicate more effectively

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      Book preview

      The Connection Book - Emma Serlin

      PART ONE

      FUNDAMENTALS OF BETTER VOCAL CHARISMA

      In this first section we explore some fundamental tools that will help you to build authentic connections. It’s very difficult to connect if you sound insincere or robotic, for example. So this is about getting the vocal stuff straight. My colleagues and I start with the basics, literally vowels and consonants, as you can’t build on a shaky foundation. From there we go on to sounding good through the use of emphasis, pauses and psychological hooks, which will help you feel grounded and confident when you speak, and come across as engaging and persuasive. After that, it’s on to the art of delivery, which lies at the heart of connecting. These are some of the first tools to learn, and they’ll have a massive impact straight away.

      AN INTERESTING IDEA: THE VOCAL LANDSCAPE

      One idea we love to share is that of the vocal landscape. The concept is that the way in which you speak - your volume, tone and how you use your voice - builds a vocal landscape in your listener’s mind. So, the more interesting your voice is, the more compelling the landscape. It’s a useful metaphor in terms of picturing the effect of your communication and being able to quickly assess how you are doing.

      Most of us have been in lectures where the speaker drones on in a monotone, with no variation of pace or volume. It is so awful that, try as we might, we can’t hold onto a single word or phrase, as if our brains are covered in ice and everything slides off. If no words or ideas have emphasis or colour, then the speaker is offering up no indication of which ideas or words really matter to them. This each chapter offers a barren, colourless landscape and, as a result, the speaker will struggle to hold their listeners’ attention.

      On the other hand, we have all heard speeches which make our pulse race and imagination flow, as if the words are mainlining straight into us. This is an example of a great vocal landscape, which provokes the listeners’ feelings and gives them space to come up with their own opinions and responses. This speaker is directing their listeners’ attention to the big ideas using intonation and emphasis, and, in doing so, creating a vocal landscape filled with colour, dimension and texture.

      There are two brilliant things about creating an interesting vocal landscape: not only does it make what you are saying sound interesting, but it gives the speaker the power over what is created in their listeners’ minds. The speaker uses their voice and way of speaking to indicate which words and ideas really matter, effectively fast-tracking the communication process.

      THERE ARE THREE COMPONENTS TO CREATING AN INTERESTING VOCAL LANDSCAPE:

      1.  Words - the building blocks of words themselves, consisting of vowels and consonants.

      2.  How you say what you say - made up of emphasis, pausing, intonation and delivery.

      3.  What your body says - posture, gesture, facial expression and connection spaces.

      CHAPTER 1: VOWELS - THE SOULS OF WORDS

      Many people think of vowels as simply a set of sounds that make up a word. But they are so much more. Vowels can provide an opportunity to connect in communication. Why? Because they offer a space and time to interject your feelings. And feelings, when shared with others, build connections.

      Vowels are pronounced with an open mouth and, as such, literally come from inside of a person. This means they can be coloured with all sorts of emotion to portray different meanings. Take, for example, the sound ‘ahh’. Try saying it in five different ways; notice how easy it is to do and how each way can have a vastly different meaning.

      So we can think of vowels as holding the soul of the word. By committing to it fully, you can harness the full potential of the word. This is one of the reasons why great actors and orators can have such an impact: they know the secret of showing their feelings through the vowels.

      VOWELS AND EMOTIONAL RELEASE

      If we keep our mouths closed when we speak, then the vowel sounds become clipped and less expressive. This will have one of two effects: either our feelings are forced to come out through our body language, or they are suppressed altogether.

      The former issue is quite common with non-native speakers, who may not know how to channel their energy through vowels, so it comes out through strong (perhaps exaggerated) gestures. When the energy of these individuals is redirected into their vowels, their spoken communication is transformed.

      The latter challenge, when emotion is suppressed, is more endemic in native English speakers, and can be connected to the clichéd English characteristic of the ‘stiff upper lip’.

      TRY IT FOR YOURSELF:

      1.  Say ‘I am so angry right now, I am in a rage’ with all the energy you can muster, but with your teeth clenched firmly together.

      2.  Now try saying it again, with your mouth open and moving freely.

      Can you notice the difference in feeling?

      The first is like you are stuck, unable to release your emotions, while the second is like an outpouring of emotion.

      You might find that by opening your mouth more when you speak, you feel different - perhaps vulnerable or exposed, or as though you are allowing yourself to be seen in a way you haven’t been seen before.

      SHAKESPEARE, SOUNDS AND EMOTIONS

      William Shakespeare was a composer of human emotions, creating great emotional symphonies that have tugged on the heartstrings of millions. His instruments were words, storylines, characters and sounds. If there are harsh consonants in the speech of a particular character, that will tell you something of their state of mind. If they have long vowels and soft consonants, it will imply that they are in a calmer, softer place. This means that if you read a Shakespeare play with an awareness of the sounds he used, you will find yourself on an emotional journey that The Bard carved out all those centuries ago.

      For a great example of this, look for the actor Kenneth Branagh’s ‘Henry V - St Crispin’s Speech by William Shakespeare’ on YouTube. The speech is filled with long vowel sounds, which Branagh uses to pour emotion into his words. He incites his men to fight to the death, despite being outnumbered three to one. It’s an address filled with emotion and, unsurprisingly, the vowels are stretched within an inch of their lives. Shakespeare knew that the best way to transmit emotion is through long vowels, and this speech is filled with them!

      You can view Branagh’s moving soliloquy here:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1Ulz-Qwnx8

      CHAPTER 2: CONSONANTS - THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF LANGUAGE

      Within our vocal landscape, consonants are the edges and outlines that hold things in place. They provide definition to our ideas; they stop the objects in the environment from merging into each other. While vowels hold the emotional content of what we are saying, consonants contain the emotion of the vowel. Consonants can be seen to represent accuracy, efficiency and, in a strange way, respect for the language.

      Together, vowels and consonants make up a stereotypical English character: emotional yet restrained. For while we English are filled

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