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My Heart is Hurting
Jinny Buffett is lonely...
She's never had the comfort of a white picket fence with a loving family. Her subsidized apartment in Hollywood Florida echoes with the void of her dead Daddy, and the nights drag long into twilight while her Mama works the block outside the Margaritaville resort.
It's idealistic Ms. Fleming, who's brave enough to come knocking first. She wants to see Jinny rise up and use her ace scores to escape the wheel of poverty, convincing Jinny to start a school book club, where she finds the friends and boyfriend she never knew she needed.
But when her Mama spirals out of control and threatens her entire existence, it's Jinny's Everglade ancestors who arrive in a mist of magic, bringing the swamp and hope with them.
She's never had the comfort of a white picket fence with a loving family. Her subsidized apartment in Hollywood Florida echoes with the void of her dead Daddy, and the nights drag long into twilight while her Mama works the block outside the Margaritaville resort.
It's idealistic Ms. Fleming, who's brave enough to come knocking first. She wants to see Jinny rise up and use her ace scores to escape the wheel of poverty, convincing Jinny to start a school book club, where she finds the friends and boyfriend she never knew she needed.
But when her Mama spirals out of control and threatens her entire existence, it's Jinny's Everglade ancestors who arrive in a mist of magic, bringing the swamp and hope with them.
- GenresYoung Adult
180 pages, Paperback
Published July 16, 2023
About the author
S.E. Reed
6 books73 followersS.E. Reed lives in the south and writes strange, haunting, real stories of people and places along old highways.
Winner of the 2023 Florida Book Awards and the 2024 Paterson Prize for Books for Young People.
Additionally, she's been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and won honorable mention twice in L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future Contest.
Her stories have been featured by The Writer's Workout, SEMO Press, Parhelion Lit, Adimverse, The Writers’ Co-op, Wild Ink Publishing, Hey Hey Books, and Tempered Rune's Press.
Winner of the 2023 Florida Book Awards and the 2024 Paterson Prize for Books for Young People.
Additionally, she's been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and won honorable mention twice in L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future Contest.
Her stories have been featured by The Writer's Workout, SEMO Press, Parhelion Lit, Adimverse, The Writers’ Co-op, Wild Ink Publishing, Hey Hey Books, and Tempered Rune's Press.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
January 24, 2024
I don't read many lower YA books, but this one was really good. Realistic fiction with a touch of magic! It's heartfelt and emotional, and I especially loved how several adults, including a teacher, showed up in a big way for the main character who is in desperate need of love and guidance. This story will pull at your heartstrings but make it worth the journey!
May 17, 2023
In My Heart is Hurting, S.E. Reed masterfully tells the heart-breaking and eventual heart-warming story of smart and sassy Florida native 15 y/o Jinny Buffett. To cope with the harsh realities of her mother’s neglect and abandonment, Jinny secretly pours herself into her love of literature and academics. But when her test scores catch the attention of school personnel, she whips out her thick-skinned defense. To Jinny, she’s white trash with no hope of a future. No need in giving anyone, including herself, false hopes. But Jinny’s exterior is softened through a surprise found family. For the first time in her life, she has friends and adults rooting for her who really care. Just when Jinny believes her life can include happiness, her mother, shows up and threatens to destroy everything Jinny has grown to love. S.E. writes with brevity, super-sonic pacing, witty dialogue, and all her characters are fully fleshed and feel like real people. While you rip through the pages of My Heart is Hurting, don’t forget to breathe!
September 18, 2023
3.5 Stars. A book club is introduced early on but you don’t really get to see it in action (two characters discuss Raven Boys a little, but very little), so it’s a slight letdown that the bookish content here isn’t as prominent as it initially seems it might be. But it’s understandable that the book club falls pretty quickly to the wayside of the story given that Jinny has far more pressing concerns in her turbulant homelife, dealing with her frequently absent mom who struggles with mental health issues and pays their bills mostly through sex work, it’s a sad, sometimes scary situation that’s compelling and convincingly depicted.
The dialogue could have used a touch more variety (or maybe that’s just my own pet peeve with dialogue peppered with everyone calling each other “girl”). This book veers into stereotypes at times, although it also defies stereotypes in places, too. Most importantly when it came to the writing, the author really tapped into Jinny’s emotions, you feel for this girl, you want the best for her.
I liked Jinny’s love interest (and loved his mom), I didn’t doubt that his feelings were genuine, however, I wish there had been a little more time to develop the romance, especially since this is someone who used to call Jinny by an unflattering name, I really craved a discussion about how he used to treat her and what had changed for him beyond her appearance, how he came to see her in a different light, I guess it just seemed like Jinny deserved to hear that expressed out loud and as a reader, I wanted that moment, too.
As mentioned, I loved the love interest’s mom (she’s one of the book’s stereotype defiers), she’s part of the found family vibes this novel does so well, the reason this story isn’t as much of a downer as the subject matter might suggest is this group of people, friends, moms, school faculty and some other adults who step up for Jinny, and while unfortunately a network of support like that doesn’t gather for every kid like her in real life, it is heartening to read about the possibility of it happening.
The dialogue could have used a touch more variety (or maybe that’s just my own pet peeve with dialogue peppered with everyone calling each other “girl”). This book veers into stereotypes at times, although it also defies stereotypes in places, too. Most importantly when it came to the writing, the author really tapped into Jinny’s emotions, you feel for this girl, you want the best for her.
I liked Jinny’s love interest (and loved his mom), I didn’t doubt that his feelings were genuine, however, I wish there had been a little more time to develop the romance, especially since this is someone who used to call Jinny by an unflattering name, I really craved a discussion about how he used to treat her and what had changed for him beyond her appearance, how he came to see her in a different light, I guess it just seemed like Jinny deserved to hear that expressed out loud and as a reader, I wanted that moment, too.
As mentioned, I loved the love interest’s mom (she’s one of the book’s stereotype defiers), she’s part of the found family vibes this novel does so well, the reason this story isn’t as much of a downer as the subject matter might suggest is this group of people, friends, moms, school faculty and some other adults who step up for Jinny, and while unfortunately a network of support like that doesn’t gather for every kid like her in real life, it is heartening to read about the possibility of it happening.
January 13, 2024
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
All Jinny has ever known was hell...
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2024
How was Jinny supposed to now her life wasn't like everyone elses. Jinny grows into a young, smart, caring young woman despite the odds. And as people begin to take notice, Jinny wrestles with two realities. In a constant battle for self-worth, the scales slowly tilt toward something better despite the constant presence of food insecurity, neglect, abandonment, and abuse. But her real self really begins to shine when she's put in charge of the school book club, which leads to sleepovers and dance parties and the very first stirrings of butterfies in her stomach. But momma's still there, a nightmare threatening a simple dream that jinny desperately wants to protect. But who will protect Jinny as her mamma's less than savory lifestyle backs her into a corner. Strung out and desperate, mamma eyeballs the only thing of value she has left... Jinny. Will Jinny realize in time what so many around her already know? That Jinny Buffet is not a pawn in her mamma's life. She is the Queen of her own. But a Queen is nothing without trusted advisors and trust has been the scarcest comodity in her entire life, making it almost impossible to believe in.
What happens is you reach out?
What happens if they shrink back?
What happens if you persist?
What happens when they yell at you to leave them alone?
So many things could happen, dreams and nightmares both. My Heart is Hurting is just one story about what can happen when someone cares. And it is a very good one with no rose colored glasses. It's authentic. With multiple character representations, including lgbtqia and minorities. S.E. Reed see's the world how it really is and uses that skill to help others do the same.
All Jinny has ever known was hell...
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2024
How was Jinny supposed to now her life wasn't like everyone elses. Jinny grows into a young, smart, caring young woman despite the odds. And as people begin to take notice, Jinny wrestles with two realities. In a constant battle for self-worth, the scales slowly tilt toward something better despite the constant presence of food insecurity, neglect, abandonment, and abuse. But her real self really begins to shine when she's put in charge of the school book club, which leads to sleepovers and dance parties and the very first stirrings of butterfies in her stomach. But momma's still there, a nightmare threatening a simple dream that jinny desperately wants to protect. But who will protect Jinny as her mamma's less than savory lifestyle backs her into a corner. Strung out and desperate, mamma eyeballs the only thing of value she has left... Jinny. Will Jinny realize in time what so many around her already know? That Jinny Buffet is not a pawn in her mamma's life. She is the Queen of her own. But a Queen is nothing without trusted advisors and trust has been the scarcest comodity in her entire life, making it almost impossible to believe in.
What happens is you reach out?
What happens if they shrink back?
What happens if you persist?
What happens when they yell at you to leave them alone?
So many things could happen, dreams and nightmares both. My Heart is Hurting is just one story about what can happen when someone cares. And it is a very good one with no rose colored glasses. It's authentic. With multiple character representations, including lgbtqia and minorities. S.E. Reed see's the world how it really is and uses that skill to help others do the same.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2024
My Heart is Hurting by S.E. Reed
Rating: ⭐️3.5/5
I saw someone give 3 stars for a 3.5, so I’ll give 4 for my 3.5 to balance it out.
I really enjoyed the main character, Jinny, and her messy emotional state while trying to grow up and develop, both within and around herself, in a chaotic environment. Reed really taps into the adolescent angst of living in a mental beehive, especially for an MC who struggles with complex trauma on top of typical, natural development of a young girl in Florida.
Personally, I wish the story focused less on school and more on her home/history with her mother to make the ending more of an emotional payoff for me. I felt the middle spent a lot of time with side characters that didn’t have the same strong development as her or other adults, and we were introduced to ideas and concepts that we didn’t get to see a lot of (like the book club or supernatural moments that only got a few solid moments of good build and then just a few handfuls of scenes every few chapters that didn’t last very long).
I also feel some characters leaned a little too much into stereotypes which took me out of their scenes, while characters who defied stereotypes helped invest me deeper. I enjoy Reed’s stronger characters with more 3D personality, so I think those issues with some side characters or side stories could be worked out effortlessly in future works - to either build on them or focus on a smaller cast. I say this again because Reed has a great emotional pay off in the end for something I only wish had more build up throughout the book. I know what she was going for, but the notes didn’t hit as hard for me as I was hoping due to my own personal notes mentioned here.
Rating: ⭐️3.5/5
I saw someone give 3 stars for a 3.5, so I’ll give 4 for my 3.5 to balance it out.
I really enjoyed the main character, Jinny, and her messy emotional state while trying to grow up and develop, both within and around herself, in a chaotic environment. Reed really taps into the adolescent angst of living in a mental beehive, especially for an MC who struggles with complex trauma on top of typical, natural development of a young girl in Florida.
Personally, I wish the story focused less on school and more on her home/history with her mother to make the ending more of an emotional payoff for me. I felt the middle spent a lot of time with side characters that didn’t have the same strong development as her or other adults, and we were introduced to ideas and concepts that we didn’t get to see a lot of (like the book club or supernatural moments that only got a few solid moments of good build and then just a few handfuls of scenes every few chapters that didn’t last very long).
I also feel some characters leaned a little too much into stereotypes which took me out of their scenes, while characters who defied stereotypes helped invest me deeper. I enjoy Reed’s stronger characters with more 3D personality, so I think those issues with some side characters or side stories could be worked out effortlessly in future works - to either build on them or focus on a smaller cast. I say this again because Reed has a great emotional pay off in the end for something I only wish had more build up throughout the book. I know what she was going for, but the notes didn’t hit as hard for me as I was hoping due to my own personal notes mentioned here.
August 9, 2023
There's enough grittiness in this book to make a year's supply of sandpaper. Jinny is super intelligent, but had been browbeaten and brainwashed by her mother for years. Mom goes ballistic whenever Jinny tries to talk about an accomplishment or a future involving college.
Mom also moonlights as a sex worker, often leaving her daughter to fend for herself with inadequate funds to buy food for extended periods of time. Jinny's so busy trying to survive that she has little time to realize how unnatural her life at home is, or how poor a parent she has. It takes an intervention by a very caring and persistent teacher, coupled with a traffic accident caused by her mom that lands Jinny in the hospital to make her realize she's worthwhile and deserves better. Toss in an unexpected boyfriend, Jinny starting a book club at school, plus the requisite mean girls, and you have a very well-crafted story. This is the kind of book that in the hands of certain at risk teens, might save them from a very terrible fate and that's far from exaggeration
Mom also moonlights as a sex worker, often leaving her daughter to fend for herself with inadequate funds to buy food for extended periods of time. Jinny's so busy trying to survive that she has little time to realize how unnatural her life at home is, or how poor a parent she has. It takes an intervention by a very caring and persistent teacher, coupled with a traffic accident caused by her mom that lands Jinny in the hospital to make her realize she's worthwhile and deserves better. Toss in an unexpected boyfriend, Jinny starting a book club at school, plus the requisite mean girls, and you have a very well-crafted story. This is the kind of book that in the hands of certain at risk teens, might save them from a very terrible fate and that's far from exaggeration
July 8, 2023
My Heart is Hurting made me cry, as you'd expect, but it never felt forced or overly poetic or pandering. It was the pure, innocent sadness of a sweet, bright high school sophomore who deserved a better mom. For best friends, S. E. Reed wrote characters that were perfectly over-the-top. They bounced and squealed and gave each other lots of hugs. It made me happy between the moments of quiet heartbreak - like when Jinny goes with her mom, even though she was safe with other grownups, even though she knows it's dangerous with her mom, and even though she could be defiant. She goes because deep down, no matter what has happened, her awful mom is still her safe place. But that's not the end of Jinny Buffett, as this story delivers on the hopes and dreams of the reader and the community of characters that rallies around her.
May 22, 2023
I give My Heart is Hurting a resounding, five-star recommendation. This novel is a gripping, gut-wrenching, and beautiful story that will stay with the reader for days after putting it down. The main character, Jinny, a brilliant young student, comes to life through sheer grit, resilience, and determination. You will laugh along with Jinny’s saltiness, cry with her struggles, and cheer her on from the sidelines as she learns to navigate teenage life.
August 18, 2023
I can admit that I am more of a Netflix gal than a reader...until I picked up this book. I truly could not put it down and always just had to know what was going to happen next. I just loved Jinny's character, her wit, and her strength. ALL of the characters were so well written. I highly recommend this read and cannot wait for my friends to read it after me. This author whole heartedly kept me engaged from cover to cover!
August 20, 2023
I read this book while on an international flight...and just as well, because I could not ..would not put it down! Jinny had my heart and attention all the way! This griping story, heart wrenching and hopeful at the same time, keeps you wanting the story to go on, even after the final chapter. Hope there is a sequel!!!
This author is insanely talented!!
Can't wait to see what other books she writes!!
Highly recommend!!!
This author is insanely talented!!
Can't wait to see what other books she writes!!
Highly recommend!!!
August 26, 2023
I loved this book! It grasped my attention from the very beginning. I admired this fifteen year old willpower,strength and spirit. Despite the trials she faced she never succumbed but held on to the magic of her family's guidance. I was immediately transported to Jinny's world through the detailed description of her emotions, thoughts and environment. Great job S.E. Reed!! I can't wait for the next adventure.
March 31, 2024
Heartache and Hope. That's what this book is. And it's done so beautifully.
This is the kind of story that reminds us everyone has things going on we may never know or fully understand. The author skillfully portrays the complexities of Jinny's life (shaped by poverty, loss, and neglect) as she finds comfort and support in her chosen family that becomes her lifeline amid the chaos and defies the odds stacked against her.
This is the kind of story that reminds us everyone has things going on we may never know or fully understand. The author skillfully portrays the complexities of Jinny's life (shaped by poverty, loss, and neglect) as she finds comfort and support in her chosen family that becomes her lifeline amid the chaos and defies the odds stacked against her.
August 18, 2023
Bloody marvelous! Very descriptive. You feel like you’re in Jinnys world as she navigates through her life. I’m privileged to know the author and can’t wait for her next book! Great things to come. S E Reed you’re a star!
January 3, 2024
This book is a page turner. I flew through it and enjoyed every single second. The main character has so many obstacles to overcome and I could really sympathize with her. I also really enjoyed the setting and side characters. I can't wait for this author's next books!
December 16, 2023
i voted for this book to win six indie ink awards.
read it to find out why :)
read it to find out why :)
Read
December 19, 2023Read for YA Speculative fiction for Cybil Award. Did not nominate.
May 26, 2023
I was privileged to read an ARC of this book. I would potentially advise asking about triggers before reading but 100% recommend. It’s geared towards young-adult but the story is so compelling that this 40-something couldn’t wait to keep reading.
Sadly, what Jinny faces is all too real in our world and often not seen or, more often, misjudged. As someone in the anti-trafficking/exploitation field this story hits close - this is very often what trafficking looks like in our communities and we miss it. I would love for everyone to read this to gain some understanding. And then ask questions - seek out organizations you can learn from. Be the caring community of adults like those Jinny met. Thank you to S.E. Reed for writing this!
Sadly, what Jinny faces is all too real in our world and often not seen or, more often, misjudged. As someone in the anti-trafficking/exploitation field this story hits close - this is very often what trafficking looks like in our communities and we miss it. I would love for everyone to read this to gain some understanding. And then ask questions - seek out organizations you can learn from. Be the caring community of adults like those Jinny met. Thank you to S.E. Reed for writing this!
April 20, 2024
Jinny Buffett lives in a crappy apartment complex in Hollywood, Florida. Her daddy is long dead and her mama works as a cocktail waitress but moonlights as a hooker in every hotel in Hollywood.
When one of Jinny's teachers, Ms. Fleming reaches out to her, because she wants to help Jinny to find an exciting project in school that she can get involved with, all Jinny can think about is what her mama will think. Ms. Fleming wants Jinny to succeed and rise up from her life of poverty, especially since she is an incredibly smart student and gets straight A's.
So Jinny reluctantly decides to start up a book club, thinking no one will be interested, but is surprised by how many of her classmates have signed up.
I think Jinny is a wonderful and complex character; I love that she loves books. She doesn't think she's meant to be anything more than she is, believing that where she is and how she lives is where she belongs. This is fueled even more by her mother who puts it into her head that she's white trailer trash and only acts smart, so she'll look dumb.
As for Jinny's mother, whose name is Crystal, I think she was such a horrible, selfish character and a horrible mother who secretly resented and was jealous of her daughter; this is eventually explained later on why she is like this. She's hardly around and makes Jinny fend for herself most of the time, and instead of just having fun and being a kid, Jinny has to worry about rent and food while her so-called mother goes away for days or weeks on end.
Not all of the supporting characters are terrible, however, like Jinny's best friend Thomas. I loved the scenes with Jinny's friends. Ms. Fleming was a wonderful character as well; I thought it was so sad that Jinny didn't realize just how many people cared about her, that she wasn't as alone as she'd thought. But I'm happy she started to realize people aren't as bad as what her mama always told her.
One small thing I didn't really care for was the pop culture references. I also was a bit disappointed that
I enjoyed this book immensely; terrific writing and characters, realistic and authentic. Some parts were a bit depressing, but by the end it does offer the chance of hope, that against all odds you can do anything, and by the end I believed without a doubt that Jinny Buffett could and would do great things.
Definitely recommend reading!
When one of Jinny's teachers, Ms. Fleming reaches out to her, because she wants to help Jinny to find an exciting project in school that she can get involved with, all Jinny can think about is what her mama will think. Ms. Fleming wants Jinny to succeed and rise up from her life of poverty, especially since she is an incredibly smart student and gets straight A's.
So Jinny reluctantly decides to start up a book club, thinking no one will be interested, but is surprised by how many of her classmates have signed up.
I think Jinny is a wonderful and complex character; I love that she loves books. She doesn't think she's meant to be anything more than she is, believing that where she is and how she lives is where she belongs. This is fueled even more by her mother who puts it into her head that she's white trailer trash and only acts smart, so she'll look dumb.
As for Jinny's mother, whose name is Crystal, I think she was such a horrible, selfish character and a horrible mother who secretly resented and was jealous of her daughter; this is eventually explained later on why she is like this. She's hardly around and makes Jinny fend for herself most of the time, and instead of just having fun and being a kid, Jinny has to worry about rent and food while her so-called mother goes away for days or weeks on end.
Not all of the supporting characters are terrible, however, like Jinny's best friend Thomas. I loved the scenes with Jinny's friends. Ms. Fleming was a wonderful character as well; I thought it was so sad that Jinny didn't realize just how many people cared about her, that she wasn't as alone as she'd thought. But I'm happy she started to realize people aren't as bad as what her mama always told her.
One small thing I didn't really care for was the pop culture references. I also was a bit disappointed that
I enjoyed this book immensely; terrific writing and characters, realistic and authentic. Some parts were a bit depressing, but by the end it does offer the chance of hope, that against all odds you can do anything, and by the end I believed without a doubt that Jinny Buffett could and would do great things.
Definitely recommend reading!
April 19, 2024
Fifteen is a difficult age even under the best of circumstances. But few teenagers have it as tough as Jinny Buffett (yes, the pun is intentional.)
Jinny is a top student at her Florida high school, where despite her academic success, she is constantly teased and harassed by her more popular classmates. But her home life is far worse. She and her largely absentee mother live in a run-down apartment in a tough part of town. Many days, Jenny goes hungry because her mother is out, leaving her daughter at home with no food or money. But she dare not complain, because the wrong word could set her mother off.
This miserable existence has hardened Jinny and made her distrustful and defensive. But she’s a good kid, and there are other good kids and caring adults who want to help. Will she find a way out–and open her heart to those would-be friends and allies?
Author S.E. Reed takes the reader for a roller coaster ride in this YA coming-of-age story. “My Heart is Hurting” will have you cheering in spots and crying in others. But it always makes you care. Highly recommended.
Jinny is a top student at her Florida high school, where despite her academic success, she is constantly teased and harassed by her more popular classmates. But her home life is far worse. She and her largely absentee mother live in a run-down apartment in a tough part of town. Many days, Jenny goes hungry because her mother is out, leaving her daughter at home with no food or money. But she dare not complain, because the wrong word could set her mother off.
This miserable existence has hardened Jinny and made her distrustful and defensive. But she’s a good kid, and there are other good kids and caring adults who want to help. Will she find a way out–and open her heart to those would-be friends and allies?
Author S.E. Reed takes the reader for a roller coaster ride in this YA coming-of-age story. “My Heart is Hurting” will have you cheering in spots and crying in others. But it always makes you care. Highly recommended.
July 31, 2023
What a lovely read!
A story with a strong beating heart about Jinny Buffet--or Jinny Cheeseburger as she's nicknamed--a really bright girl in terrible home situation. A coming of age tale about a girl who's hidden herself away for too long finally stepping out into the light, though she's pulled back over and over again by a lone mother, who's rarely there, doesn't protect her or provide enough food. Or nearly enough love.
Despite this neglect, Jinny craves her mother's attention and love in a way we can all relate to. But in its absence, she finds love from other sources -- new friends at school, her teachers and some kind strangers, and a potentially exciting new boyfriend. And the ghosts of some swamp relatives!
A story about a girl struggling with abuse and loss, and finding the strength to step away from the quicksand of a situation that seems bent on dragging you down,finding the courage to heave yourself up, alone, and claim a better future. Really well done!
A story with a strong beating heart about Jinny Buffet--or Jinny Cheeseburger as she's nicknamed--a really bright girl in terrible home situation. A coming of age tale about a girl who's hidden herself away for too long finally stepping out into the light, though she's pulled back over and over again by a lone mother, who's rarely there, doesn't protect her or provide enough food. Or nearly enough love.
Despite this neglect, Jinny craves her mother's attention and love in a way we can all relate to. But in its absence, she finds love from other sources -- new friends at school, her teachers and some kind strangers, and a potentially exciting new boyfriend. And the ghosts of some swamp relatives!
A story about a girl struggling with abuse and loss, and finding the strength to step away from the quicksand of a situation that seems bent on dragging you down,finding the courage to heave yourself up, alone, and claim a better future. Really well done!
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews