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Ex-Wife
1929. The book begins: My husband left me four years ago. Why-I don't precisely understand, and never did. Nor, I suspect, does he. Nowadays, when the catastrophe that it seemed to be and its causes are matters equally inconsequential, I am increasingly disposed to the belief that he brought himself to the point of deserting me because I made such outrageous scenes at first mention of the possibility.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1929
About the author
Ursula Parrott
12 books28 followersUrsula Parrott (March 26, 1899 – September 1957), was an American writer of romantic novels. Her first book, Ex-Wife (1929), was a best seller, and was adapted for film as The Divorcee, starring Norma Shearer. Exploring changing sexual mores and their implications for women, Ex-Wife was considered scandalous in its time. Between 1930 and 1936, Parrott sold the rights to eight more novels and stories that were made into films.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 411 reviews
May 21, 2024
“It is not true that, in time, one ‘gets over’ almost anything. In time, one survives almost anything. There is a distinction.”
I'm so glad I found this book thanks to the new Faber edition. What a vicious, yet entertaining, little slice of 1920s life in NYC. Just as heart-wrenching as Edith Wharton, but more salacious.
It's hard to describe Ex-Wife because, on the one hand, it's a very entertaining soap opera about marriage, divorce, love affairs and scandal... but, on the other hand, it is deeper, more meaningful and more sad than it would first appear. It's a story about women, marriage and relationships; about how women gained some freedoms but lost other things. It contains depictions of domestic abuse, sexual assault, .
Pat has just been left by her husband, Peter, and this loss devastates her. Pat pretty much touches upon every state of grief as she attempts to move on and reevaluate her life's path now her dreams are shattered.
Parts of it are horrible to read. While Pat certainly wasn't blameless in the decline of their relationship, Peter is a piece of shit by my 21st Century standards, and I felt intense horror and secondhand embarrassment for Pat as she attempts to hold onto him long after he has dumped her.
Lucia, another "ex-wife" and a fabulous character, supports Pat through her recovery, offering advice, encouragement and no small amount of humour.
The novel covers only a few short years, yet it feels immense. Pat's journey from distraught dumpee to who she becomes at the novel's close is complex and bittersweet. If Pat wasn't already in her twenties when the story starts, you'd likely call this a bildungsroman because a huge part of this book is her growth from a naive and starry-eyed young woman to someone tougher but more jaded.
There is something very sad about Pat's growth in this book. It feels as if, as she gets clued in about the nature of men, women and relationships, her bubble bursts and part of her gives up on her desire for romance, her belief in the love she once believed in. Maybe that's life. Maybe it's true, and that's why the book hurts so much.
This quote from near the end made me feel devastated:
There were crowds of people hurrying about as if they had somewhere important to go. I wished that I had somewhere important to go.
I saved so many quotes I don't know what to do with them. Here's a few.
On youth: I have never been as sure of myself since, as I was then, when I was twenty-four.
On promiscuous men: “Great Lovers—men who’ve ‘known a hundred women,’ and boast of it—they remind me of the man who wanted to be a musician and so took one lesson on each instrument in the orchestra.”
On love: [..]one did not love a man because he was worth loving, or because one felt worthy of his love in return, or for any reason that one’s acquaintances would think was sound.
On motherhood: I was crazy about him; in intervals between feeling that I had neither energy nor interest for anything, and never would anymore.
On the status of women: The choices for women used to be: marriage, the convent, or the street. They’re just the same now. Marriage has the same name. Or you can have a career, letting it absorb all emotional energy (just like the convent). Or you can have an imitation masculine attitude toward sex, and a succession of meaningless affairs, promiscuity, (the street, that is) taking your pay in orchids and dinner-dates instead of money left on the dresser. (This whole speech by Lucia in chapter 6 is quite something)
May 6, 2023
Published in America in 1929, Ursula Parrott’s semi-autobiographical novel is very different in flavour from most interwar women’s novels I’ve encountered. Although Parrot’s work and her frank depiction of the experiences of a young wife, later divorced, overlaps with the territory of writers like Jean Rhys and Irmgard Keun, Parrott’s approach is less stylised than Rhys’s and more clinical than Keun’s. A controversial sensation when it first appeared, it was later adapted for Hollywood. It centres on 24-year-old Patricia or Pat who’s part of the “flapper” generation. She’s well-educated, seemingly independent-minded, yet enmeshed in an abusive marriage to Peter, who then leaves her for another woman who is, as he puts it, more “pure.” Parrott’s presentation of their breakup is unsparing, detailing domestic violence, and a perilous backstreet abortion. The end of the marriage is followed by life as one of New York’s growing number of “ex-wives.”
The novel’s narrated by Patricia, who peppers her account with a series of wonderfully wry asides, and I found her self-portrait fascinating. She’s clearly been programmed by her upbringing to keep up appearances so she’s always abreast of fashion and immaculately turned out; she’s studiously polite to men yet painfully aware the circles she inhabits are riddled with hypocrisy and contradictions, and potentially toxic for women adrift. She lunches at the Algonquin and writes advertising copy for a department store by day, frequenting clubs and speakeasies by night, and the men she meets consider her fair game up to and including rape. Parrott’s narrative contains some dry passages and moments that verge on melodrama but there are also a succession of memorable lines and instances of biting social commentary. Invaluable as social history it’s an uncomfortable, but frequently compelling, snapshot of life in a deeply misogynistic, post-war America.
The novel’s narrated by Patricia, who peppers her account with a series of wonderfully wry asides, and I found her self-portrait fascinating. She’s clearly been programmed by her upbringing to keep up appearances so she’s always abreast of fashion and immaculately turned out; she’s studiously polite to men yet painfully aware the circles she inhabits are riddled with hypocrisy and contradictions, and potentially toxic for women adrift. She lunches at the Algonquin and writes advertising copy for a department store by day, frequenting clubs and speakeasies by night, and the men she meets consider her fair game up to and including rape. Parrott’s narrative contains some dry passages and moments that verge on melodrama but there are also a succession of memorable lines and instances of biting social commentary. Invaluable as social history it’s an uncomfortable, but frequently compelling, snapshot of life in a deeply misogynistic, post-war America.
Read
September 6, 2023the original sex and the city for the flapper girls of nyc. delightfully modern in its themes, though still a delicious time capsule of the period - alexander cocktails at the speakeasy, late night cab rides with your lover, alligator pears for lunch, and expensive fur coats to impress your ex-husband. ursula parrot, you lovely woman, you!
“Men told Lucia I was lovely looking, but completely cold. Why cold? I let them kiss me when they must, in cabs, dancing in hot nightclubs, at parties. They were not real. Neither was the office. Clothes were real. I bought many clothes so that, when Peter called up, I could say “come over instantly” and I would be marvellously dressed. I dressed carefully, always, because I might meet some friend of Peter’s, who would go back to him and say, “I saw Patricia; she was looking beautiful.” Then he would call up sooner.”
“Men told Lucia I was lovely looking, but completely cold. Why cold? I let them kiss me when they must, in cabs, dancing in hot nightclubs, at parties. They were not real. Neither was the office. Clothes were real. I bought many clothes so that, when Peter called up, I could say “come over instantly” and I would be marvellously dressed. I dressed carefully, always, because I might meet some friend of Peter’s, who would go back to him and say, “I saw Patricia; she was looking beautiful.” Then he would call up sooner.”
March 28, 2023
This book was SOOOOO good. The language was as fresh and modern as if it had been written yesterday. I encourage ALL women in their forties or fifties who have been divorced to read this incredible book. Published in 1929, it was SOOOOO ahead of its time. I'd have loved to have met her. I bet Ursula Parrott was an absolute HOOT. Highly recommended.
March 22, 2024
For as long as New York has been New York and college has been college, young writers have left one for the other and discovered that loving in cities is heart-shattering. At some point, they began writing novels about the phenomenon—a habit not yet broken. To be 22 in New York! Writing! Earning money by writing—or not. Sleeping with one person in particular or many in a blur. Smashing your heart against the merciless steel and concrete of modernity and watching it ooze down onto the subway tracks.
A novel written on the borders of sexual liberation and feminist awakening, but also on the border of the country of death—the border of a world where to lose a lover to war and a child to illness before you yourself turned 23 was not rare and terrible luck, but the ordinary stuff of human life. We in America have left this humdrum country of death far behind—though we continue to participate in inflicting it, unnecessarily, on distant places.
A novel of grief. Not end-of-a-relationship grief, the real thing. The grief that can only follow the eternal and irrevocable death of a human being you love.
A jazz-age classic, a feminist classic—and you can be sure the only reason it isn’t widely regarded as the former is because, from the day it was published, it’s been the latter. Read it alongside F. Scott, or Ernest, two sides of the same coin: the romance and misogyny of the roaring ‘20s. Like those Important Men, Parrott is enlivened by the influence of commercial writing: ad copy, journalism, men’s magazines, women's magazines, screenplays.
A triumph of voice and style. A crackling heightened reality.
A novel written on the borders of sexual liberation and feminist awakening, but also on the border of the country of death—the border of a world where to lose a lover to war and a child to illness before you yourself turned 23 was not rare and terrible luck, but the ordinary stuff of human life. We in America have left this humdrum country of death far behind—though we continue to participate in inflicting it, unnecessarily, on distant places.
A novel of grief. Not end-of-a-relationship grief, the real thing. The grief that can only follow the eternal and irrevocable death of a human being you love.
A jazz-age classic, a feminist classic—and you can be sure the only reason it isn’t widely regarded as the former is because, from the day it was published, it’s been the latter. Read it alongside F. Scott, or Ernest, two sides of the same coin: the romance and misogyny of the roaring ‘20s. Like those Important Men, Parrott is enlivened by the influence of commercial writing: ad copy, journalism, men’s magazines, women's magazines, screenplays.
A triumph of voice and style. A crackling heightened reality.
July 25, 2024
'This book is not so much a celebration of the unconventional woman as it is a roadmap of the dangers that might befall her' [foreword]
It's mid-1920s, New York, and Patricia has become an Ex-Wife, 'Not every woman who used to be married is one. There are women about whom it is more significant to know...this or that..then to know they were once married to someone else'. The Great War has ended, women have finally got the right to vote and divorce is a straight-forward thing. No longer do men or women need to feel that they are forever lumbered with a mediocre choice or a 'handbrake' to independence. So, although Pat didn't seek a divorce, she gets a great job in advertising, shares an apartment with a fellow divorcee, and hits the town every night. She tries to move on. However, despite being doggedly social and pickling her liver with scotch endlessly, she is not only a tad lonely, she realises that living with all the independence of a man, doesn't garner the same respect as one. The social hypocrisy dawns on her, 'The principal thing that relieving women from the dullness of domesticity did, was to relieve men from any necessity of offering stability in return for love, fidelity and so on. Women used to have status, a relative security. Now they have the status of any prostitute, success while their looks hold out'. Patricia comes to terms with her new label, over time, but sadly at the cost of 'dewy' youth.
Ursuala's son, in the book's afterword, describes his mother's story as confessional. To have lived such a life, as well as to publish such a story, a hundred years ago, gives some perspective on just how outlandish it must've been, and yet how nothing much has changed - underscored by the fact that it is being re-published. I found Ex-Wife such a fascinating insight into the glamourous, yet tumultuous times of that era, as well as the courage to be so forthright in her novel.
It's mid-1920s, New York, and Patricia has become an Ex-Wife, 'Not every woman who used to be married is one. There are women about whom it is more significant to know...this or that..then to know they were once married to someone else'. The Great War has ended, women have finally got the right to vote and divorce is a straight-forward thing. No longer do men or women need to feel that they are forever lumbered with a mediocre choice or a 'handbrake' to independence. So, although Pat didn't seek a divorce, she gets a great job in advertising, shares an apartment with a fellow divorcee, and hits the town every night. She tries to move on. However, despite being doggedly social and pickling her liver with scotch endlessly, she is not only a tad lonely, she realises that living with all the independence of a man, doesn't garner the same respect as one. The social hypocrisy dawns on her, 'The principal thing that relieving women from the dullness of domesticity did, was to relieve men from any necessity of offering stability in return for love, fidelity and so on. Women used to have status, a relative security. Now they have the status of any prostitute, success while their looks hold out'. Patricia comes to terms with her new label, over time, but sadly at the cost of 'dewy' youth.
Ursuala's son, in the book's afterword, describes his mother's story as confessional. To have lived such a life, as well as to publish such a story, a hundred years ago, gives some perspective on just how outlandish it must've been, and yet how nothing much has changed - underscored by the fact that it is being re-published. I found Ex-Wife such a fascinating insight into the glamourous, yet tumultuous times of that era, as well as the courage to be so forthright in her novel.
April 21, 2023
Man, I love everything about this book.
There’s a line in Parrott’s son’s afterword that I misread - well not misread, but mistook what he meant - that people drink in Ex-Wife. He meant literally (there’s so much drinking), but I mean it in that I just drank this in. It reads so easy and is so real. I loved watching Pat grow over the course of the book. Her loves and losses are just so well done.
Pat’s story (and apparently a lot of Ursula’s) reminded me of bits of Our Spoons Came From Woolworths, but then it turns into something else. It’s like The Best of Everything in the nightlife and friendships. Add in some of the feel of Gatsby.
I figured I’d like this since it ticks off so many of my boxes, but man did I love it. And maybe I’m just in an emotional state, but the second to last chapter had me tearing up. It’s all *so* good.
There’s a line in Parrott’s son’s afterword that I misread - well not misread, but mistook what he meant - that people drink in Ex-Wife. He meant literally (there’s so much drinking), but I mean it in that I just drank this in. It reads so easy and is so real. I loved watching Pat grow over the course of the book. Her loves and losses are just so well done.
Pat’s story (and apparently a lot of Ursula’s) reminded me of bits of Our Spoons Came From Woolworths, but then it turns into something else. It’s like The Best of Everything in the nightlife and friendships. Add in some of the feel of Gatsby.
I figured I’d like this since it ticks off so many of my boxes, but man did I love it. And maybe I’m just in an emotional state, but the second to last chapter had me tearing up. It’s all *so* good.
June 5, 2024
4.1/5 ⭐
"Ex-Wife," a captivating novel set in the 1920s, tells the story of Patricia, a woman thrust into a journey of self-discovery after her husband unexpectedly decides to separate. The novel shines a light on a unique era where divorce was a social scandal, particularly for middle-class white women like Patricia. Despite a certain level of privilege, these women were often trapped by societal expectations and a stifling "parochial mindset."
Patricia's narrative is a strength of the novel. She meticulously recounts the seemingly small moments that ultimately led to the breakdown of her marriage. These details provide a fascinating window into the world women like Patricia inhabited, highlighting the struggles they faced in a society that rigidly defined their roles. We see a woman with a modern spirit yearning for a life that transcended the limitations placed upon her.
Patricia is a refreshingly honest protagonist. She readily admits to her own shortcomings and past dalliances. While she initially longs for the idyllic life she envisioned with Peter, her liberation is not simply a return to a romanticized past. She grapples with her own role in the demise of the marriage and demonstrates a keen self-awareness that makes her a relatable and endearing character.
Despite the mistakes of her past, Patricia embodies remarkable resilience. She refuses to be defined by her heartbreak and actively seeks to build a fulfilling life for herself. Reading her story feels akin to being a close confidante, someone you desperately want to see succeed. I found myself completely engrossed in her journey, turning pages well into the night despite being under the weather.
"Ex-Wife" stands out from other narratives like "The Dry Heart" by Natalia Ginzberg and "Days of Abandonment" by Elena Ferrante by offering a more nuanced and realistic portrayal. While Patricia is undoubtedly emotionally wounded, she doesn't succumb to rage or despair. Instead, she actively seeks growth and self-discovery. She reaches out to another woman who has also experienced divorce, explores new experiences that challenge her old way of life, and ultimately breaks free from the shell society has built around her. The story unfolds at a measured pace, but the emotional impact is profound. The ending feels natural and well-earned, a testament to Patricia's strength and perseverance.
This captivating novel sparked a newfound appreciation for Ursula Parrott, who courageously published the book anonymously. Her work challenged the societal ideal of the subservient wife, making her a true literary pioneer. Learning about the book's anonymous publication only adds to its intrigue. I was also delighted to discover a film adaptation, "The Divorcee," which I'm determined to track down and watch. "Ex-Wife" is a truly unique and thought-provoking novel that lingers long after the last page is turned.
---------------------------------------------
Post-reading notes:
A marvelous book.
"Ex-Wife," a captivating novel set in the 1920s, tells the story of Patricia, a woman thrust into a journey of self-discovery after her husband unexpectedly decides to separate. The novel shines a light on a unique era where divorce was a social scandal, particularly for middle-class white women like Patricia. Despite a certain level of privilege, these women were often trapped by societal expectations and a stifling "parochial mindset."
Patricia's narrative is a strength of the novel. She meticulously recounts the seemingly small moments that ultimately led to the breakdown of her marriage. These details provide a fascinating window into the world women like Patricia inhabited, highlighting the struggles they faced in a society that rigidly defined their roles. We see a woman with a modern spirit yearning for a life that transcended the limitations placed upon her.
Patricia is a refreshingly honest protagonist. She readily admits to her own shortcomings and past dalliances. While she initially longs for the idyllic life she envisioned with Peter, her liberation is not simply a return to a romanticized past. She grapples with her own role in the demise of the marriage and demonstrates a keen self-awareness that makes her a relatable and endearing character.
Despite the mistakes of her past, Patricia embodies remarkable resilience. She refuses to be defined by her heartbreak and actively seeks to build a fulfilling life for herself. Reading her story feels akin to being a close confidante, someone you desperately want to see succeed. I found myself completely engrossed in her journey, turning pages well into the night despite being under the weather.
"Ex-Wife" stands out from other narratives like "The Dry Heart" by Natalia Ginzberg and "Days of Abandonment" by Elena Ferrante by offering a more nuanced and realistic portrayal. While Patricia is undoubtedly emotionally wounded, she doesn't succumb to rage or despair. Instead, she actively seeks growth and self-discovery. She reaches out to another woman who has also experienced divorce, explores new experiences that challenge her old way of life, and ultimately breaks free from the shell society has built around her. The story unfolds at a measured pace, but the emotional impact is profound. The ending feels natural and well-earned, a testament to Patricia's strength and perseverance.
This captivating novel sparked a newfound appreciation for Ursula Parrott, who courageously published the book anonymously. Her work challenged the societal ideal of the subservient wife, making her a true literary pioneer. Learning about the book's anonymous publication only adds to its intrigue. I was also delighted to discover a film adaptation, "The Divorcee," which I'm determined to track down and watch. "Ex-Wife" is a truly unique and thought-provoking novel that lingers long after the last page is turned.
---------------------------------------------
Post-reading notes:
A marvelous book.
August 26, 2024
4/5
Su O. Wilde man susisiejusiu sąmoju nuostabiai perteikta santuokos (ir toli gražu ne tik tuometinės) dviveidystė, kuomet atvirumas, tikras atvirumas, priimtinas tik kai jį propaguoja vyrai, kai standartai išimtinai tik dvigubi, o laisvės tik laikinos, vedančios prie amžinųjų lūkesčių ir amžinojo circle of life – tu amžiams būsi buvusi žmona, amžiams nešiosi nesėkmės ženklą ir tikėsiesi jį nutrinti būsima santuoka, būsimu sutuoktiniu ir būsima viltimi. Kartu su ironiškais, laiką pralenkusiais pastebėjimais, koja kojon eina ir intrigos, klaidų pasikartojimai, dideli lūkesčiai ir didelis nenoras pripažinti, kad be jokio vyro, gyvenant sau ir savaip, pačiai diktuojant taisykles, sau dirbant ir užsidirbant iš tiesų gyventi yra geriau, nei gyvenant su nemylinčiu. Ir suvokimas, kad net jei pripažintum tai, ką jauti, visuomenė tai vertintų ypač nepalankiai.
Ko pritrūko iki maksimalaus įvertinimo? Tikriausiai, nuoseklumo. Vietomis įsitraukdavau ir puslapiai tarsi patys versdavosi, o vietomis atrodydavo, kad nuo istorijos jau pavargau – ne nuo siužeto, kuris tikrai gana varginantis ir skaudus, o tiesiog nuo paties pasakojimo būdo, gal net nuo pertekliaus? Manau, jei knyga būtų bent 50 puslapių trumpesnė, ji neabejotinai gultų prie metų geriausių. Bet kokiu atveju džiaugiuosi, kad ši klasika buvo prikelta naujam gyvenimui – tikrai viena tų, kurios neturi galiojimo laiko.
Su O. Wilde man susisiejusiu sąmoju nuostabiai perteikta santuokos (ir toli gražu ne tik tuometinės) dviveidystė, kuomet atvirumas, tikras atvirumas, priimtinas tik kai jį propaguoja vyrai, kai standartai išimtinai tik dvigubi, o laisvės tik laikinos, vedančios prie amžinųjų lūkesčių ir amžinojo circle of life – tu amžiams būsi buvusi žmona, amžiams nešiosi nesėkmės ženklą ir tikėsiesi jį nutrinti būsima santuoka, būsimu sutuoktiniu ir būsima viltimi. Kartu su ironiškais, laiką pralenkusiais pastebėjimais, koja kojon eina ir intrigos, klaidų pasikartojimai, dideli lūkesčiai ir didelis nenoras pripažinti, kad be jokio vyro, gyvenant sau ir savaip, pačiai diktuojant taisykles, sau dirbant ir užsidirbant iš tiesų gyventi yra geriau, nei gyvenant su nemylinčiu. Ir suvokimas, kad net jei pripažintum tai, ką jauti, visuomenė tai vertintų ypač nepalankiai.
Ko pritrūko iki maksimalaus įvertinimo? Tikriausiai, nuoseklumo. Vietomis įsitraukdavau ir puslapiai tarsi patys versdavosi, o vietomis atrodydavo, kad nuo istorijos jau pavargau – ne nuo siužeto, kuris tikrai gana varginantis ir skaudus, o tiesiog nuo paties pasakojimo būdo, gal net nuo pertekliaus? Manau, jei knyga būtų bent 50 puslapių trumpesnė, ji neabejotinai gultų prie metų geriausių. Bet kokiu atveju džiaugiuosi, kad ši klasika buvo prikelta naujam gyvenimui – tikrai viena tų, kurios neturi galiojimo laiko.
November 14, 2015
Edited, since people are so eager to correct my review.
Now, the book is the type that I'll keep forever and re-read it every so often until the pages begin to crumble. It felt to me like a Dorothy Parker-esque woman (tho less cynical and gifted) tutoring me on how to bounce back from heartbreak with a gimlet (or a manhattan, or a sidecar, or straight Scotch). So many wonderful little roaring twenties quips and soundbites...I really felt for Patricia, our main gal, who, no matter how beaten down by the dark side of heartbreak, never failed to apply makeup or cold-cream while artfully sipping a glass of some spirit or other. The fact that she made herself feel better with marvelous purchases of Chanel and Vionnet frocks, furs, hats, shoes, and perfumes made my heart sing. Of course, she didn't eat much (skinny flapper?) so I imagine she managed it well enough. Oh, to be alive and young during the 20's. Then again, maybe it wasn't the era for me. I'm much too square to be promiscuous with the body or the libations.
Maybe this year I'll learn how to drink a Scotch neat without pinching my nose and cringing.
Read it and do it slowly. If you're a woman who's had her heart broken a few times, this book is a salve, I swear. If you're a dude, well, you can read it if you like, but you'd better act enlightened afterwards.
July 13, 2023
Spilling over with personality, almost diaristic in its pacing (definitely w regards to its content), and unbelievably lively, even amid some not-insignificant moments of tragedy. I'm constantly startled to remember this came out nearly a century ago. It's got me feeling existential–what is life but seasons passing, making deep connections, watching them transform, and losing them, then making new ones again, but different; new jobs, apartments, experiences, and still there's only oneself to look at in the mirror throughout: "In the mirror, a small, slim young woman stood. She had black straight shining hair, grey eyes, and a curved red mouth . . . .She did not look happy or unhappy. She looked a little tired and a little amused. I wondered what she was like, underneath her attitudes. But I knew now, that neither I nor anyone else would ever be sure as to that." I mean!!!
February 4, 2023
The best (or, most realistic?) book on love, heartbreak, and loss that I’ve read in a long time. Glad this one found its way to me
December 21, 2023
Ex-Wife is a find, a curio, a sort of time capsule of another time, another place. The story of a divorcée in 1929 when that wasn't such a common condition and usually reflected some degree of broken dreams. The reader might expect something like F. Scott Fitzgerald with Dorothy Parker and a hint of Jean Rhys. There's certainly a generous assortment of cynically Parkeresque comments such as:
"Casual lovers, so much more interested in themselves than me, always."
"Days of posing as an efficient young business woman ... nights of posing as a sophisticated young woman about town."
"There's no sense in going other places if you have to take yourself along."
"Men used to bring me violets and now they bring me Scotch. Liquor isn't a gift to a woman, it's just an investment in her."
and more!
Overall Ex-Wife isn't quite serious enough to be philosophical and not quite carefree enough to be facetious, occupying some odd sweet-spot in between. It's all too recognizably human and contemporary, with the same action and reaction and feelings that anyone might have now -- even if going back to America between the wars just prior to the Depression in a kind of Sex and the City way. The reader can't help but wonder what is autobiographical and what's not. Anyone interested in the novel should also look for the lurid "Dell Romance" dime-store cover from 1939. [3½★]
"Casual lovers, so much more interested in themselves than me, always."
"Days of posing as an efficient young business woman ... nights of posing as a sophisticated young woman about town."
"There's no sense in going other places if you have to take yourself along."
"Men used to bring me violets and now they bring me Scotch. Liquor isn't a gift to a woman, it's just an investment in her."
and more!
Overall Ex-Wife isn't quite serious enough to be philosophical and not quite carefree enough to be facetious, occupying some odd sweet-spot in between. It's all too recognizably human and contemporary, with the same action and reaction and feelings that anyone might have now -- even if going back to America between the wars just prior to the Depression in a kind of Sex and the City way. The reader can't help but wonder what is autobiographical and what's not. Anyone interested in the novel should also look for the lurid "Dell Romance" dime-store cover from 1939. [3½★]
May 5, 2024
It feels unreal that this book was written in the 1920’s when it feels as fresh as a cold martini (or in this case, highballs, of which many are drank throughout the novel). Others have likened it to a bygone era’s Sex and the City, and I think that’s a perfectly apt description. Witty, heartbreaking, and glamorous, encompassing the full range of emotions that a young woman goes through during the trials and tribulations that is love, life, and loss.
I personally like my books to have prose that’s a bit more flowery, but the rich descriptions of hats, dresses, and négligées is nothing short of lovely. I feel like I’m playing dress-up with the “most sensible ladies” of the time. I also loved how fashion was regarded in this book without the baggage and connotations that we place on it today. And, men knew what was en vogue, what suited someone, and had lovely and fitting compliments to go with these appraisals! I also enjoy seeing old compliments in general - “Your shoulders—would make a man forget every disillusionment he’d ever had”. Hilarious, incredible, obsessed.
The gossip and phrases that are thrown between the women of these book are a hoot and will you have feeling like you’re also having a post work scotch with the girls on the banister before dressing to go to a speakeasy. Nothing short of fabulous with a heartbreakingly real ending.
(Also adding that I came upon this book thanks to Alissa Bennett, who wrote the foreword for this McNally edition. I love her work, and I do feel cool that we are insta mutuals. Support your favorite writers!)
I personally like my books to have prose that’s a bit more flowery, but the rich descriptions of hats, dresses, and négligées is nothing short of lovely. I feel like I’m playing dress-up with the “most sensible ladies” of the time. I also loved how fashion was regarded in this book without the baggage and connotations that we place on it today. And, men knew what was en vogue, what suited someone, and had lovely and fitting compliments to go with these appraisals! I also enjoy seeing old compliments in general - “Your shoulders—would make a man forget every disillusionment he’d ever had”. Hilarious, incredible, obsessed.
The gossip and phrases that are thrown between the women of these book are a hoot and will you have feeling like you’re also having a post work scotch with the girls on the banister before dressing to go to a speakeasy. Nothing short of fabulous with a heartbreakingly real ending.
(Also adding that I came upon this book thanks to Alissa Bennett, who wrote the foreword for this McNally edition. I love her work, and I do feel cool that we are insta mutuals. Support your favorite writers!)
May 28, 2023
Glamorous, and filled with lonely ghosts, Ex-Wife is a glittering and raw remnant of the 1920’s Jazz Age of New York.
Patricia finds herself in the nebulous space between marriage and divorce - as she ruminates on her matrimonial failure, she dips her toes into sexual liberation and alcoholic stupor.
Lovers of Elena Ferrante and Jean Rhys will be caught in this cultural riptide, as it frees itself from the conventional restraints of Victorian frigidity and hurdles towards the interlude; the agape of women who have been briefly relieved of men.
Patricia finds herself in the nebulous space between marriage and divorce - as she ruminates on her matrimonial failure, she dips her toes into sexual liberation and alcoholic stupor.
Lovers of Elena Ferrante and Jean Rhys will be caught in this cultural riptide, as it frees itself from the conventional restraints of Victorian frigidity and hurdles towards the interlude; the agape of women who have been briefly relieved of men.
August 27, 2024
Celebrating the 100 years anniversary of progressive women portrayed in the novel “Ex-Wife” of Ursula Parrott.
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Whilst this book is a proclamation of divorced women to the lifestyle of shimmering 20’s in New York City, it’s also a testament to the fact that women have and always will be eyed as inferior when divorced.
The protagonist Patricia is a freshly divorced woman who’s financially stable, but still insecure of her social status. The 20’s in New York City is marked by a society that’s on the verge of a transformation prior to the depression. The decadence expressed in alcohol consumption and promiscuity creates a contradiction with the traditional role of men and women.
Ursula Parrott was an author who dared to write about the struggle of divorced, promiscuous and alcoholic women, which was a thorn in society’s eyes. Therefore, and because of her personal lifestyle, Ursula Parrott was a neglected author of her time.
What a shame.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
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Whilst this book is a proclamation of divorced women to the lifestyle of shimmering 20’s in New York City, it’s also a testament to the fact that women have and always will be eyed as inferior when divorced.
The protagonist Patricia is a freshly divorced woman who’s financially stable, but still insecure of her social status. The 20’s in New York City is marked by a society that’s on the verge of a transformation prior to the depression. The decadence expressed in alcohol consumption and promiscuity creates a contradiction with the traditional role of men and women.
Ursula Parrott was an author who dared to write about the struggle of divorced, promiscuous and alcoholic women, which was a thorn in society’s eyes. Therefore, and because of her personal lifestyle, Ursula Parrott was a neglected author of her time.
What a shame.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
June 16, 2024
I agree with another Matt, he of the West Coast: “Ex-Wife” is vastly superior to “Gatsby.” While Fitzgerald’s novel is celebrated in classrooms for its perspective on the American Dream and held up (falsely) as the definitive portrait of the Twenties, “Ex-Wife” offers a more honest exploration of characters and society. Parrott takes on emotional themes with nuanced prose in a way that feels more raw and introspective for modern readers. “Gatsby” is a book linked to its time; “Ex-Wife” transcends time. 4.5 stars
July 18, 2024
Loved, loved, LOVED!
December 31, 2023
I cannot verbalize how this is my new favourite book. I am so deeply obsessed. I simultaneously want to gatekeep and recommend it to everyone I know.
August 24, 2024
Dieser Roman kam mir ein bisschen so vor wie die reiche, amerikanische große Schwester von „Das kunstseidene Mädchen“ von Irmgard Keun.
Patricia lebt als Ex-Frau unabhängig und berufstätig im New York Ende der 1920er-Jahre. Obwohl sie Halt bei einer guten Freundin und Spaß am New Yorker Nachtleben findet, trauert sie ihrem Mann und dem Leben als Ehefrau hinterher. Schließlich sind die Rollenerwartungen an Frauen klar: Sie soll möglichst gutaussehend, möglichst rein und möglichst verheiratet sein. Patricia versucht allerdings immer wieder sowohl Ablenkung durch Sex als auch eine neue Liebe zu finden. Dabei begegnen ihr neben Männern, die zu guten Freunden werden, auch immer wieder misogyne und gewalttätige Männer, sodass die Strukturen als sexistisch und ungerecht entlarvt werden.
An „Das kunstseidene Mädchen“ hat mich einerseits die Erzählweise erinnert, die mitunter gedankenstromartig ist, dann wieder raffend wie ein Tagebucheintrag. Zudem wird durch die Erzählweise deutlich, dass Patricia einige misogyne Strukturen selbst eher nicht hinterfragt, sondern vor allem versucht, mit deren negativen Folgen klarzukommen. Andererseits gibt es aus meiner Sicht auch inhaltliche Überschneidungen: Patricias Suche nach Glück, die Rolle von Mode und Äußerlichkeiten dabei, ihr ständiges Scheitern und Wiederaufstehen oder ihre Hilfsbereitschaft gegenüber anderen Frauen. Eines hat Patricia jedoch ihrer deutschen kleinen Schwester voraus: Durch Bildung und soziale Herkunft kann sie ihren Lebensunterhalt selbst finanzieren. Sie zeigt, dass Frauen ökonomisch nicht auf Männer angewiesen sein müssen.
Alles in allem habe ich den Roman sehr gerne gelesen - ich kann es Fans vom kunstseidenen Mädchen und/oder Sex and the City empfehlen. Aus meiner Sicht eignet sich der Roman durch die Erzählweise und den kulturhistorischen Hintergrund von Prohibition und der Lebensweise von bürgerlichen Frauen in den 1920ern auch sehr gut zur Klassikerin.
Patricia lebt als Ex-Frau unabhängig und berufstätig im New York Ende der 1920er-Jahre. Obwohl sie Halt bei einer guten Freundin und Spaß am New Yorker Nachtleben findet, trauert sie ihrem Mann und dem Leben als Ehefrau hinterher. Schließlich sind die Rollenerwartungen an Frauen klar: Sie soll möglichst gutaussehend, möglichst rein und möglichst verheiratet sein. Patricia versucht allerdings immer wieder sowohl Ablenkung durch Sex als auch eine neue Liebe zu finden. Dabei begegnen ihr neben Männern, die zu guten Freunden werden, auch immer wieder misogyne und gewalttätige Männer, sodass die Strukturen als sexistisch und ungerecht entlarvt werden.
An „Das kunstseidene Mädchen“ hat mich einerseits die Erzählweise erinnert, die mitunter gedankenstromartig ist, dann wieder raffend wie ein Tagebucheintrag. Zudem wird durch die Erzählweise deutlich, dass Patricia einige misogyne Strukturen selbst eher nicht hinterfragt, sondern vor allem versucht, mit deren negativen Folgen klarzukommen. Andererseits gibt es aus meiner Sicht auch inhaltliche Überschneidungen: Patricias Suche nach Glück, die Rolle von Mode und Äußerlichkeiten dabei, ihr ständiges Scheitern und Wiederaufstehen oder ihre Hilfsbereitschaft gegenüber anderen Frauen. Eines hat Patricia jedoch ihrer deutschen kleinen Schwester voraus: Durch Bildung und soziale Herkunft kann sie ihren Lebensunterhalt selbst finanzieren. Sie zeigt, dass Frauen ökonomisch nicht auf Männer angewiesen sein müssen.
Alles in allem habe ich den Roman sehr gerne gelesen - ich kann es Fans vom kunstseidenen Mädchen und/oder Sex and the City empfehlen. Aus meiner Sicht eignet sich der Roman durch die Erzählweise und den kulturhistorischen Hintergrund von Prohibition und der Lebensweise von bürgerlichen Frauen in den 1920ern auch sehr gut zur Klassikerin.
May 28, 2024
The moment I saw this book I was fairly confident that it would immediately become one of my favorites. As it turns out, I was right🫡
Ex-Wife caught my eye because who WOULDN’T love a racy little 1920s NYC novel about a promiscuous divorcee, particularly one that’s semi-autobiographical and anonymous published during a time when it wasn’t acceptable to be that type of woman? That being said, even though I was making a conscious effort throughout this novel to imagine how this would’ve been received in the time it was published, I still don’t think I fully grasped how controversial this might’ve been in the 1930s.
I expected to love this for its unabashed femininity and pushback against societal expectations, and I did. Yet what almost proved more enticing than that was how beautifully and accurately Ursula painted first love, its inevitably messy dissolution, and the way it lingers for way longer than you expect. The way she hopelessly remained a fool for her first husband was both hard to read and relatable. The stages of grief and heartbreak were flawlessly portrayed in the narrator’s thought process. (She also had a lot of internal monologue between snippets of conversation written in parentheses which is a stylistic choice I really appreciate.) Beyond first love, I also (….at my very unseasoned age of 24) felt like this hit the experience of so many different types of romantic love on the nose. Also youth! Some (….many) fave quotes:
“I have never been as sure of myself since, as I was then, when I was twenty-four”
“In five years or ten,shall I walk, still wanting to meet Peter in the middle of the next block?”
“I dressed carefully, always, because I might meet some friend of Peter’s, who would go back to him and say, “I saw Patricia; she was looking beautiful.” Then he would call up sooner.” (On youthful delusion & obsession🫡)
“I did not believe it for a minute; I did not believe that Pete could leave without a word, as if I were some girl he had met in a speakeasy the night before; and had not found very diverting. Pete would not do that to me. He had, though, done just that.”
“One did not love a man because he was worth loving, or because one felt worthy of his love in return, or for any reason that one’s acquaintances would think was sound.”
“He had always planned to write a novel when the profession of medicine left him leisure. Father was past seventy, now.” (On dreams and the passage of time)
“It is unlikely that any other man will desert you... any man you want to hold. Because, when first you suspect he's ready to go, you'll pack his baggage and buy him a one-way ticket anywhere he likes, so fast that he'll leave reluctantly. You'll never hold on again. It's the holding on that hurts.” (On getting over a first love of youth)
“I thought it ought to be fun, but it was always dreary…like prospecting for gold and finding a coal mine.” (On sleeping around in an attempt to get over heartbreak)
“Sometimes, as I walked along the street, remembrance of years when I had been unhappy, came to me; and they seemed an infinite distance away, and altogether unreal, like stories one hears about a friend of a friend of a friend.”
And also, who doesn’t want to read a slice of life novel about a woman in her 20s writing in NYC?
This is a piece of art. I will be rereading it a thousand times over.
Ex-Wife caught my eye because who WOULDN’T love a racy little 1920s NYC novel about a promiscuous divorcee, particularly one that’s semi-autobiographical and anonymous published during a time when it wasn’t acceptable to be that type of woman? That being said, even though I was making a conscious effort throughout this novel to imagine how this would’ve been received in the time it was published, I still don’t think I fully grasped how controversial this might’ve been in the 1930s.
I expected to love this for its unabashed femininity and pushback against societal expectations, and I did. Yet what almost proved more enticing than that was how beautifully and accurately Ursula painted first love, its inevitably messy dissolution, and the way it lingers for way longer than you expect. The way she hopelessly remained a fool for her first husband was both hard to read and relatable. The stages of grief and heartbreak were flawlessly portrayed in the narrator’s thought process. (She also had a lot of internal monologue between snippets of conversation written in parentheses which is a stylistic choice I really appreciate.) Beyond first love, I also (….at my very unseasoned age of 24) felt like this hit the experience of so many different types of romantic love on the nose. Also youth! Some (….many) fave quotes:
“I have never been as sure of myself since, as I was then, when I was twenty-four”
“In five years or ten,shall I walk, still wanting to meet Peter in the middle of the next block?”
“I dressed carefully, always, because I might meet some friend of Peter’s, who would go back to him and say, “I saw Patricia; she was looking beautiful.” Then he would call up sooner.” (On youthful delusion & obsession🫡)
“I did not believe it for a minute; I did not believe that Pete could leave without a word, as if I were some girl he had met in a speakeasy the night before; and had not found very diverting. Pete would not do that to me. He had, though, done just that.”
“One did not love a man because he was worth loving, or because one felt worthy of his love in return, or for any reason that one’s acquaintances would think was sound.”
“He had always planned to write a novel when the profession of medicine left him leisure. Father was past seventy, now.” (On dreams and the passage of time)
“It is unlikely that any other man will desert you... any man you want to hold. Because, when first you suspect he's ready to go, you'll pack his baggage and buy him a one-way ticket anywhere he likes, so fast that he'll leave reluctantly. You'll never hold on again. It's the holding on that hurts.” (On getting over a first love of youth)
“I thought it ought to be fun, but it was always dreary…like prospecting for gold and finding a coal mine.” (On sleeping around in an attempt to get over heartbreak)
“Sometimes, as I walked along the street, remembrance of years when I had been unhappy, came to me; and they seemed an infinite distance away, and altogether unreal, like stories one hears about a friend of a friend of a friend.”
And also, who doesn’t want to read a slice of life novel about a woman in her 20s writing in NYC?
This is a piece of art. I will be rereading it a thousand times over.
July 25, 2024
I had heard a lot about this novel when McNally 're-published it and was keen to read it, but it was difficult to get a copy here, so I was very pleased to hear that Faber were going to be 're-publishing too.
It is the semi autobiographical account of Pat, who starts off separated from her husband, and becomes an ex-wife halfway through. Set in 1920's New York, she hits the town; moving in with another ex-wife they work during the day, and evenings are spent with a series of men in restaurants and spearheaded where a lot of alcohol is consumed. she is desperate to hold on to her husband initially, but as the novel progresses she begins to see that the relationship is doomed.
It felt quite cynical and jaded, but hearing about the authors life, that is unsurprising, and despite this it is witty and largely easy to read, though I did find the middle sagged a bit. The setting was interesting to me, it's not one I read about very often. I'm very glad I finally got to read it, and it's one I'm sure to re-read at some point in the future.
*Many thanks to Netgalley and Faber for a review copy in exchange for an honest opinion.*
It is the semi autobiographical account of Pat, who starts off separated from her husband, and becomes an ex-wife halfway through. Set in 1920's New York, she hits the town; moving in with another ex-wife they work during the day, and evenings are spent with a series of men in restaurants and spearheaded where a lot of alcohol is consumed. she is desperate to hold on to her husband initially, but as the novel progresses she begins to see that the relationship is doomed.
It felt quite cynical and jaded, but hearing about the authors life, that is unsurprising, and despite this it is witty and largely easy to read, though I did find the middle sagged a bit. The setting was interesting to me, it's not one I read about very often. I'm very glad I finally got to read it, and it's one I'm sure to re-read at some point in the future.
*Many thanks to Netgalley and Faber for a review copy in exchange for an honest opinion.*
August 10, 2023
Retiro o que disse, é muito melhor que satc porque as personagens femininas têm muito mais noção da realidade e das suas limitações sociais. Achei fascinante a dating scene e as interações manterem-se praticamente inalteradas desde 1924. As principais diferenças é que no livro os homens dizem às mulheres que as consideram objetos decorativos (hoje em dia não o dizem), a atitude passiva com que as personagens femininas aceitam/toleram a violência e monólogos dos homens. uma espécie de great gatsby mas no female gaze da época.
September 20, 2023
Just a goddamn delight. I will miss the book bitterly, I am so sad to have finished it. It’s perfect- sharply written, observant, succinct, so funny, and heartbreaking. It's one of those books that you feel in your chest. So, so excellent. Easily one of my favorites of the year, and will likely become one of my favorites of all time. Ursula Parrott is brilliant; it’s a shame she didn’t get her flowers when she was here to receive them.
October 16, 2023
best book ever??
March 12, 2023
What a book. “Ex-Wife” by Ursula Parrott ought to be considered a modernist classic alongside the likes of Fitzgerald. Often I was shocked this could be written about a hundred years ago — how contemporary it felt, how femininity��s struggle has remained stagnant all this time.
The novel follows Patricia, a young woman navigating a divorce, love, and debauchery in New York City’s Jazz Age. Parrott hits on every emotion with such accuracy i wasn’t sure I would be able to continue reading; the beginning chapters carved a deepening hole of sorrow in my chest, but Parrott makes it all worth it. Patricia finds friendship and meaning in many, but it is her friendship with Lucia that I enjoyed most. Their conversations discuss the reality of the woman’s plight in a post-feminist society, and how life is simply much more complicated than in the days of choosing between marriage and the convent. While I enjoy reading books on heartbreak and angst, it isn’t often that I read a novel that also includes the commentary of women scorned, women trying to find happiness again. It felt more personal and real than other novels for this. I should probably sit on my thoughts more to write a better review, but finishing the book got me too excited to share any immediate thoughts.
Beautiful book on heartbreak — already looking forward to reading again one day!
I also feel quite lucky to have read this apparently early — only once I finished it did I realize this new 2023 edition isn’t out till May! Grateful to McNally Jackson for having it on their shelf early then!
The novel follows Patricia, a young woman navigating a divorce, love, and debauchery in New York City’s Jazz Age. Parrott hits on every emotion with such accuracy i wasn’t sure I would be able to continue reading; the beginning chapters carved a deepening hole of sorrow in my chest, but Parrott makes it all worth it. Patricia finds friendship and meaning in many, but it is her friendship with Lucia that I enjoyed most. Their conversations discuss the reality of the woman’s plight in a post-feminist society, and how life is simply much more complicated than in the days of choosing between marriage and the convent. While I enjoy reading books on heartbreak and angst, it isn’t often that I read a novel that also includes the commentary of women scorned, women trying to find happiness again. It felt more personal and real than other novels for this. I should probably sit on my thoughts more to write a better review, but finishing the book got me too excited to share any immediate thoughts.
Beautiful book on heartbreak — already looking forward to reading again one day!
I also feel quite lucky to have read this apparently early — only once I finished it did I realize this new 2023 edition isn’t out till May! Grateful to McNally Jackson for having it on their shelf early then!
July 9, 2024
Lectura ideal para las divorciadas o con desamores. Trata el duelo en estas circunstancias con una aparente frivolidad que aligera la narración pero acompañada de reflexiones y frases fantásticas. Un libro durísimo a ratos también (con VG sobrevolando muchas de esas relaciones) pero delicioso por momentos, como la vida misma. Ha superado mis expectativas.
July 16, 2019
Finally read this because I learned it was the novel on which the 1930 film The Divorcee (one of my favorites) was based. While The Divorcee is definitely a pre-Code, somewhat scandalous film, it has nothing on the novel. The film simplifies the story, makes the characters all a bit more sympathetic, and has a classic Hollywood ending. The novel is complex, with characters and relationships that have far more depth and nuance than the film, and a realistic (at least emotionally) ending. It also offers a nice snapshot of the 1920s.
March 21, 2024
The best book I've read in a long, long time. Exactly what I needed!
July 25, 2024
Hoe kan dit boek meer dan 100 jaar oud zijn?! Ongelooflijk! Aan de ene kant is het een totaal andere wereld en aan de andere kant ook weer niet. Het thema is nu, een eeuw later, nog steeds heel relevant! Hoe wordt er gekeken een vrouw, naar een getrouwde vrouw, en naar een ‘ex-vrouw’.
Ik heb ultiem genoten van alle avonturen van Patricia, met haar vele mannen en dolle momenten met vriendinnen. Soms zag ik het helemaal a la ‘Sex and the City’ voor me, en soms zag ik mijzelf in Rotterdamse leven anno 2024.
Er was ook verdriet, eenzaamheid en onzekerheid. En ook dát herken ik. Daarom vind ik het zo bijzonder dat dit boek zoveel jaren later nog steeds overeind staat!
En stiekem hoop ik dat dit verfilmd gaat worden. ‘Sex and the city’ meets ‘the great Gatsby’, meets een bruisende wereldstad! (Rotterdam??) :)
Ik heb ultiem genoten van alle avonturen van Patricia, met haar vele mannen en dolle momenten met vriendinnen. Soms zag ik het helemaal a la ‘Sex and the City’ voor me, en soms zag ik mijzelf in Rotterdamse leven anno 2024.
Er was ook verdriet, eenzaamheid en onzekerheid. En ook dát herken ik. Daarom vind ik het zo bijzonder dat dit boek zoveel jaren later nog steeds overeind staat!
En stiekem hoop ik dat dit verfilmd gaat worden. ‘Sex and the city’ meets ‘the great Gatsby’, meets een bruisende wereldstad! (Rotterdam??) :)
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