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250 pages, ebook
First published January 21, 2018
She’d been the social one
The engaging one
The perfect one.
I woke that morning in Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little bit better. And I felt a little more whole.
“My face. My body. My heart - it all went with her, because she was me.
My twin sister killed herself on June twenty-ninth.
We would've been eighteen the next day.”
“Her name was Willow, and she left me.”
My reviews are posted on DirtyBooksObsession
4.5 ★★★★ Stars
"I woke that morning in Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little bit better. And I felt a little more whole."
"My face. My body. My heart-it all went with her, because she was me. My twin sister killed herself on June twenty-ninth. We would've been eighteen the next day."
"I thought no one would understand what it felt like to hurt so badly that you just wanted to go with that person."…"Until you."
"I couldn't bear to see myself, so how could I make you look at me?" I whispered. I missed her. I wanted her. I didn't want my dad's arms around me. I wanted hers around me. "I don't want her to be a ghost, Dad."
"We all tried to cope in our own way, whether wrong or right, healthy or unhealthy."
“It’s only you.”
“There are layers of pain inside me. Pain that I can’t put into words, and underneath it all is hell. It’s raw and bloody. Agony. Suffering. Torture.”Told in Mackenzie's POV, Ryan's Bed is like nothing I have ever read before. The family dynamics paired with the intricacies of a person dealing with loss were thoroughly explored. Initially, I found myself concerned that grief might be too much for me to handle. On top of the main theme, I rarely indulge in high school romances as they tend to not feel believable to me, and yet, this is one read that I will never ever forget. The tempo of the read was fluid throughout and the unique exploration of the relationship between Mackenzie and Ryan and Mackenzie and her family is what made this book so unique. When you can live through someone's pain so viscerally and walk away feeling healed, you know the work is truly raw and beautifully crafted.
Overall, Ryan's Bed will appeal to readers who are drawn to stories focused on great loss and healing. Although I am still not a fan of high school-themed books, I would not hesitate to read another Tijan book in the future.