Well written book with handy chapterlets. This would be an incredible inspirational book for some people. It missed me, though. Maybe I'm the wrong peWell written book with handy chapterlets. This would be an incredible inspirational book for some people. It missed me, though. Maybe I'm the wrong person, or maybe it is the wrong time of my life....more
I enjoyed "Stop Laughing at Me" so I picked up this book. I thought the varying ways people were bullied, and got out of it, were interesting to read.I enjoyed "Stop Laughing at Me" so I picked up this book. I thought the varying ways people were bullied, and got out of it, were interesting to read. My problem was that not only weren't these essays actually written by young people, they were trying so hard to SOUND like they were, that it was distracting from the message. Also, this was a very white-upper-middle-class to wealthy book. Nobody was bullied because they were poor, or black, or had an accent... so it wasn't really broad based.
I wanted to like it, I did.
The solutions often boiled down to "Have Jodee Blanco speak at your school" or "Start an anti-bullying club." For many of us parents, those solutions are not actually practical. Maybe sometimes there are no solutions.
I think this would have been a much better book if the kids' stories were told by the kids, or told by Ms. Blanco, in her own voice, rather than trying and failing to write like the way young people talk....more
I'm not giving this five stars for the writing itself - although it is often good, It isn't Somerset Maugham or anything like that. Boy, that was a prI'm not giving this five stars for the writing itself - although it is often good, It isn't Somerset Maugham or anything like that. Boy, that was a pretentious thing for me to say. Anyway - the challenge for a memoir like this is to give the reader a new perspective on a topic that's been talked about to death. I didn't expect that to happen... but it did.
There's no suspense in the book. Based on the title and the first couple of pages you know what is going to happen - the protagonist is going to get severely bullied. And it happens repeatedly. She has friends at a school - all is well - then it turns. It gets really bad. She switches schools. Everything is great. Then it turns. It gets really bad. Repeat. But...
But... the question you have in your mind is "how is it going to turn?" And the answer is it is always a result of choices the author made. And when it happens, you wince. You see it coming. After the third time, the AUTHOR sees it coming. "I knew what would happen if I did THIS and did it anyway." And you are forced to put yourself in that position. "Would I have done what she did? The 'right' thing to do according to her parents and every Hollywood product I've ever consumed? Or would I have not done the 'right' thing and saved myself the ensuing YEARS of really bad abuse?" And, actually, you are probably thinking, "When I was in that situation what DID I do? Should I have?" If your choices are to abuse someone else, or to become a victim for years, what do you do?
She is also bullied as a result of choices her parents made. "Please, Mom! Don't tell the principal or things will be really bad for me!" [Mom tells the principal.] "Please, Mom and Dad! Don't make me go to that doctor!" [Mom and Dad take her to that doctor.] But she never portrays her parents as monstrous - they are doing their best to the extent of their knowledge.
And the advice they give - "Just ignore them." How many victims have heard that advice? How often has it worked? Don't fight back, and the bullies will leave you alone. Does that work as an adult?
As I said, the book gives insights. Here's one that resonated for me: "The hardest thing about being an outcast isn't the love you don't receive. It's the love you long to give that nobody wants."
The book is framed by her high school reunion. It begins with her in the car, terrified to go to the reunion and see these people again. It ends with the tale of the reunion. I'm not going to spoil what happens - but other goodreads reviews talk about it. I think what annoys people is that they disagree with the author as to whether it was a "happy" or "sad" ending. I do, too, but that's fine. In fact, I think it is a strength of the book, that at the end I disagree so strongly with the author's conclusion.
Some things prevented me from totally relating to the author's story (and there's no reason I should have to relate completely to it - I related enough to never forget this book.) She's rich. Which means that her parents were able to do things like put her into a private school, or take her on a vacation to Greece one summer to help her forget. And she has a health problem that involves an expensive stay at the Mayo clinic. She's also very talented - she had some major "wins" in her life based on her talents of writing and speaking. And in the first two pages we learn that she has a glamorous and well-paying career. So I keep thinking about how different things would be if she were not rich and talented.
Ultimately, it is disguisting that she, and probably the majority of kids, have to choose between being abused and being abusive. I'd like to think things are better now...
Anyway - five stars for giving me new insights and things to think about on an old topic....more
This book was like binging on Hostess Snack Cakes - let me tell you what I mean by that.
I enjoyed the thing. NPH is a very clever writer, and the wholThis book was like binging on Hostess Snack Cakes - let me tell you what I mean by that.
I enjoyed the thing. NPH is a very clever writer, and the whole "choose your own" format was funny. I lost a bit of that because I listed to the audiobook in the car - NPH adapted it for that, and explained it at the start, so I still got the flavor. So yes, the audiobook lost the "I get to decide what part I read next" but it gained his voice, and a couple of excerpts of audio from things the book quoted. And the celebrity "testimonials" were all read by the same guy with a British accent, and one part had his partner inserting funny comments as he read, so overall I'm fine with that part.
9 hour car ride - NPH with me all the way.
So yes, I enjoyed the book the whole time. I enjoyed some parts more than others, which will happen in any autobiography. While it was going on I was loving it, like you love a Hostess Snack cake. But then, afterwards I realized, most of it was pretty superficial, disguised by fun writing. Misdirection - the magician's art. And of course NPH is great at misdirection. So you think he is telling you a lot more than he is.
For example : Elton John. The story about how he and David became friends with Elton John and HIS David are great. And so, what is it like to be friends with Elton John? We hear about the yacht, and the celebrity-filled parties, and going to restaurants in limos. So yeah, it would be fun being friends with someone rich and generous. But we never find out - what is it like to be friends with Elton John? Beyond what you actually get to do because "rich and generous." What do you and Elton talk about? Is he a sensitive guy? Does he like to talk about ... what? I don't believe NPH is so superficial that all he cares about is the restaurants and the other celebs he gets to meet - so... tell us about being friends with Elton John.
We learn a lot about NPH's journey in coming to terms with his sexuality and his love for his partner and children. Maybe that, at the time of the autobiography, really is the only thing he is passionate about now, and so the rest is him writing about the things he knows people are buying the book for, and doing his best to distract us with surface flash.
Anyway - I was deciding between 3 and 4 stars, and went with 4 because even though I left having learned less than I thought I had at the time, it was still very entertaining and I do like snack cakes....more
My daughter, who is pre-teen, was reading this book, and so enthused about how great it was. She insisted I read the first few pages, so I did, and I My daughter, who is pre-teen, was reading this book, and so enthused about how great it was. She insisted I read the first few pages, so I did, and I was hooked, too. First time that happened, that she read a book first and recommended it to me and then I read it. I liked the writing - the "teenager's poetry" voice. And the story developed in a way I didn't expect. From reading the blurb, I thought this would be kind of a cardboard Oppression Novel. It wasn't. The protagonist became very real to me, and one particular moment made me laugh out loud. I recommend this book to kids and their parents alike....more
This was an entertaining, gripping book that sucked us into its world. Some of it seemed a little "cutesy" to me - wI read this aloud to my daughter.
This was an entertaining, gripping book that sucked us into its world. Some of it seemed a little "cutesy" to me - when there would be a normal English idiom, only with the word "wings" substituted for "arms" or "talons" for "hands." And the characters were a bit "Here is Tsumami's main character trait! Here is Sunny's main character trait!" But for a child, that sort of thing was helpful. We did have to make a chart to keep track of which race of dragons each character belonged to. But that process itself was fun, and as we found out new information, we enjoyed adding it to the chart.
By the last fourth of the book, I realized that this wasn't going to really stand on its own as a novel... it is the first book in a series, and it was paced that way. I knocked a star off for that, actually. I enjoy reading series', but I also believe each book in a series should stand alone. If you don't mind that sort of thing as much as I do - then this would be four stars.
I don't know if we will read book two. I like the characters, and there were some good plot elements. But I can't picture rereading these. A great introductory series for kids!
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