Five ENTHUSIASTIC stars. This was a 10/10 for me; it will be hard to beat as best memoir this year. I knew from the introduction, when I lost count ofFive ENTHUSIASTIC stars. This was a 10/10 for me; it will be hard to beat as best memoir this year. I knew from the introduction, when I lost count of the number of times I whispered "wow" out loud, that I was going to love it--and it absolutely delivered on that arresting, promising opening.
The writing is exquisite. I normally listen to audiobooks and podcasts at 1.5-2x speed, but slowed this one down so I could really soak in the words and savor them. The way the author courageously tells ugly stories and defangs shame's power is so moving. It is almost unbearably heavy at times, yet so redemptive and so hopeful. I went into it knowing that the author has a beautiful relationship with her dad now, so it was helpful to know that as horrible as some of the early stories were, healing was going to come in the end, somehow. But for most of the book I didn't see how! Knowing the ending didn't at all relieve the tension or spoil the satisfaction when we got there.
I laughed out loud, I kept saying "wow" out loud, and I cried at the end. If I've talked to you about books in the last month, I've mentioned this--I was recommending it before I'd gotten through chapter 1, and that recommendation absolutely stands now that I've finished. So much beauty from so much brokenness.
I must insist that you get the audio version. It wouldn't be the same without hearing the author read words and phrases in Afrikaans, Xhosa, and Zulu! ...more
A fun little bathroom book. (My favorite kind of bathroom book: short, stand-alone chapters/stories.) Inaccessible and nonsensical to anyone who is noA fun little bathroom book. (My favorite kind of bathroom book: short, stand-alone chapters/stories.) Inaccessible and nonsensical to anyone who is not, like me, a hopeless New York romantic. Also not particularly helpful for cultivating contentment if you are almost 33, married to someone who inexplicably hates the world's most wonderful city, and yet unable to accept in your heart with authoritative finality the reality you will never, ever be a New Yorker. :) Otherwise, a somewhat enjoyable light read.
Merged review:
A fun little bathroom book. (My favorite kind of bathroom book: short, stand-alone chapters/stories.) Inaccessible and nonsensical to anyone who is not, like me, a hopeless New York romantic. Also not particularly helpful for cultivating contentment if you are almost 33, married to someone who inexplicably hates the world's most wonderful city, and yet unable to accept in your heart with authoritative finality the reality you will never, ever be a New Yorker. :) Otherwise, a somewhat enjoyable light read....more
The fact that this was voted Best Memoir/Autobiography for the Goodreads Choice Awards last year makes me despair for humanity.
I can't explain to youThe fact that this was voted Best Memoir/Autobiography for the Goodreads Choice Awards last year makes me despair for humanity.
I can't explain to you how much I loathed Britney Spears's music when we were in high school (we are the same age)...I haven't paid much attention to her since. Listening to this did transform a lot of my judgment into pity. I was stunned at how her family abused and exploited her even as an adult (though I'd be lying if I didn't also wonder at times, as I was listening, how far her story can really be trusted--not that her parents seem remotely trustworthy, but she also doesn't seem super stable or mature).
After I finished the book I went back and looked up some of her music. I didn't know what any of it really sounded like except for the first couple of hit singles from the late 90s. And...YIKES. I don't understand how she became such a megastar. It's really perplexing (and honestly disturbing) how someone can simultaneously be so childish and also so sexualized.
I'm glad she's free now and I'm glad she had the opportunity to tell her side of the story after so many years. But...I don't know what else to say except "yikes." ...more
Some great nuggets to chew on and a lot of provocative questions I want to spend time processing and answering. Still, there was something about this Some great nuggets to chew on and a lot of provocative questions I want to spend time processing and answering. Still, there was something about this that felt a little too...easy? Tidy? Rushed? Like the things she was describing take a lot of time and work (and maybe therapy) to wrestle through, but they were narrated from her own life very quickly and neatly, in a way that felt like, "I had this epiphany and decided to think about this differently and my whole life changed!" Which struck me as unrealistic and discouraging because it felt so far from my own experiences. Maybe I would have felt this less if I'd bought the book and worked through it very slowly, allowing more time to process each chapter. Having checked it out from the library, I didn't have that luxury.
As I reflect more, I think it was also a bit overwhelming because it was heavy on to-dos and light on gospel. It left me with a long list of things I need to do better/try harder--even if those things were couched in terminology like "rhythms of rest" or whatever--rather than hope in what's been done for me in Christ. I mean, I realize that "lean into hard things" is kind of the point of what she was teaching, the idea that adversity is necessary to develop resilience. But I'm not sure adversity really awakens hope if the only ground for hope is my own ability to rise to the challenge. Ultimately my hope is in the One who faced the worst possible adversity and overcame it in a way that guarantees all my adversity is temporary. And I think that gospel hope was absent from an otherwise in many ways strong and helpful book. ...more
I always struggle to give a negative review to a memoir. It feels so personal. And honestly, in this case I think my criticism is more directed at theI always struggle to give a negative review to a memoir. It feels so personal. And honestly, in this case I think my criticism is more directed at the publisher than the author. This book needed a lot more/better editing work, both on a line-editing level (sloppy syntax, grammar mistakes all over the place) and on a developmental level.
The timeline (or lack thereof) was scattered and very confusing--and I say that as someone who does not usually complain about or have trouble with non-linear/non-chronological stories. The book also lacked focus. A fellow reviewer's comment captures it well: "Further, she couldn’t decide what she wanted it to be - a memoir pretending to be a theology book pretending to be a how-to book pretending to be an advocacy piece for foster-care reform." Normally I love it when a book weaves together a lot of topics, but this wasn't cohesive enough to pull that off.
I'm very confident there's a powerful, beautiful story here, well worth telling. But I think the publisher failed to empower Petersen to bring it out effectively. I appreciated Petersen's honesty, boldness, humility, and passion. Still, I think this was probably also written a bit too soon. It would likely be a better book in a few more years, with the benefit of additional maturity and distance from the events. (And better editing!) 2.5 stars, rounding up....more
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