-Kearney is quite good at keeping a neutral tone. She addresses a lot of hard topics aThis one has been on my list since it came out.
Things I liked:
-Kearney is quite good at keeping a neutral tone. She addresses a lot of hard topics and really works hard at giving grace to the people and situations involved.
-The graphs were a good idea.
-There was some good new information in the chapter about boys.
-Some of her solutions were different than I had seen before.
Things that could have been different:
-My copy was digital, so it may be different in other editions, but the graphs would have been better with color.
-A few of her statements were logically unsound. I'm not sure if that was purposefully done to avoid offense or if that is indicative of my own personal bias. And some of her dissection of data could have been clearer.
-90% of the information is pretty available, and sometimes more accessible, in other locations. Perhaps it's because it's a pet topic of mine, but it doesn't really seem to add much that is new. The point of any publication, particularly nonfiction, should be add something new to the conversation.
I still rated it higher---mostly because she does demonstrate a level of compassion that is rare in books that address this topic....more
To be perfectly honest, some chapters I just read the summary points at the end. Especially at the beginning. And I didn't quite get the connection beTo be perfectly honest, some chapters I just read the summary points at the end. Especially at the beginning. And I didn't quite get the connection between the theory chapters and what he saw as the implementation.
I thought Mounk did a really good job of summarizing a set of views. His chapters at the end, particularly about free speech, were compelling. In my opinion, we may be at the end. I saw him as trying to straddle both sides--- empathizing with those who suffer(how could he not, given his heritage?) but also questioning the logic behind some points. I did disagree with him on some points---any woman who had been pregnant would, I think. But I did see his broader point. I just don't think it is a thorough as his others. Running into Eboo Patel again was fascinating. Some of that info was new.
I was hoping that there would be a few more studies, a bit more depth than the typical Tumblr argument (though I never really did Tumblr, so I may be missing something there). It could have been shorter. And I hope that both he, and I, are wrong about the direction law and political discourse are heading....more
Urgh. This is the second time I've attempted this book. No disrespect to the subjects, but the tone is just so dry that they don't really leave the paUrgh. This is the second time I've attempted this book. No disrespect to the subjects, but the tone is just so dry that they don't really leave the page. They deserve better.
Didn't finish so I'm not a reliable source....more
I was first introduced to Patel through a series of articles that caught my eye. Though, when I began this book, I was a bit taken aback. It doesn't bI was first introduced to Patel through a series of articles that caught my eye. Though, when I began this book, I was a bit taken aback. It doesn't begin like a memoir but gradually transitions to one and his choice for introductory material makes more and more sense as you get an idea of where he is headed.
There are some brilliant observations that hold up even today(my copy was published in 2007). His similarities to The Home We Build Together: Recreating Society and other works by writers and thinkers I admire didn't hurt either.
ETA July 2024: FP, DJT, was just shot at a rally. Couldn't help but think of this book and his points.
This got a few good chuckles out of me. And I thought some of the historical facts were interesting (#soapboxalert) even though there were no footnoteThis got a few good chuckles out of me. And I thought some of the historical facts were interesting (#soapboxalert) even though there were no footnotes. I agreed with him about 70+ percent of the time. I appreciated his digging into history and election cakes. I actually took a class in school all about the politics of early US cookery. Who knew? I didn't until after that class.
That said, perhaps I know too much about his political opinions(reading most of his books can do that to you), but his attempts to come across as politically neutral or, at the least, present both points of view didn't really work for me. I could feel the slight disdain for the people he disagreed with almost every time. Perhaps it was the order(his opinion is usually last), or the tone, or the vocabulary. Even though I often found myself agreeing with him, I didn't appreciate that. Because respect is a great foundation for understanding and change.
The rules were too arbitrary and he didn't seem as committed as he did in some of his other books. For example, he orders stuff online all the time and then mentions 3/4 of the way in that he still hasn't gotten his one order that he wrote on paper with a quill and sent by mail.
Finally, his attempt to end on a "high note" seemed forced. Clearly he doesn't like what's going on, feels like it isn't working, and suspects that much worse will happen and then suddenly there was this big twist. It felt fake.
I'm normally a "realistic"(negative) POV person and, these days, I don't even dare fly a flag lest it be mistakenly declaring my allegiance to something I don't subscribe to, but even I am grateful that we have one of the longest-surviving republics in the world. I'm grateful that, as imperfect as it was and is, I have rights that people in countries don't even dream about. If you want a good refresher course, check out this podcast. Almost any episode will have you feeling all the emotions, and awe at the responsibility to do good with the opportunities I have as a citizen of this country is a regular one for me....more
This is a fascinating book that hit the spots I felt were missed by Every Needful Thing. A good mix of scientific and story. The interviewees and theiThis is a fascinating book that hit the spots I felt were missed by Every Needful Thing. A good mix of scientific and story. The interviewees and their stories are striking in their differences and similarities. I would have liked to read them all, as well as the questions. Pakaluk's conclusions are insightful, her tone (and that of the interviewees) is appropriately empathetic, and she hit some points that were missed by Tim Carney.
The best parts began at the chapter focused on Leah and continued on to the end. Some of the points are not what people want to hear, but I believe(in the absence of data) that they could possibly be right. ** This isn't a book to change your mind. At least, Pakaluk doesn't seem to be trying to convince the world to have 5 or more children. But it is a book to explain, explore, and possibly to help someone out there find the answer to, without needing to ask, the question: "You have ________ many kids?! Why?!"
*she talks about older siblings seeing and interacting and caring for younger siblings and, in the future, minimizing the stress of future children. But the cycle repeats itself as older siblings marry, have children, and the younger aunts and uncles are comfortable with their nieces and nephews.
**In the spirit of full disclosure, I come from a line of families that would fit in this study. Though, due to life, I probably won't ever meet her qualifiers for the study, it informs and affects me daily---in more good ways than bad....more
Experience #1 that brought me to this book--- When I was 18 I got to know someone who wanted to be, and became eventually, a therapist. His relational Experience #1 that brought me to this book--- When I was 18 I got to know someone who wanted to be, and became eventually, a therapist. His relational life was nothing I'd aspire to, and he was very, very rude(sometimes bordering on cruel). I'm still not sure he didn't manipulate the girl he liked into marrying him. It made me very wary of therapists.
Experience #2--- I know someone who has been in therapy for almost 5 years. Depression hasn't improved and their relationships are garbage. Is it really doing any good? I say this as someone who has gone to therapy for various events in my life(unexpected death, shock, etc). I consider it successful because I don't go regularly. I go, get the tools I need, and follow up whenever I feel the need. My longest streak of going was 6 months.
I like some of her points and some of the research she has collected. The chapter on ADHD was particularly interesting, as was the anecdote about the foster children. Her call to responsibility for parents could be valuable. And most of the other stuff was worth chewing on---though some of her points lacked studies. I connected with her values often.
I did have some concerns, though. It is largely aimed at the parents of the subtitle(middle/upper class). There is some discussion of higher needs populations, but not a lot. To be fair, many counselors would fail to meet their needs---they can't. But I feel like they do need some good resources. In higher needs populations, I think the issue is just the opposite. They are launched too soon.
I also saw her points regarding some pop-psychology bigwigs(I agree and also disagree) but she failed to adequately engage with attachment theory(just saw an article today about the 1980s-90s orphanages) and just plain statistics(two-parent privilege, etc. etc.). A wrap-up section with what constitutes a good therapist is warranted and some sentences were confusing. Maybe one or two every chapter.
Also I know several school counselors that really are good at what they do. So I felt that casting all of them as the villains isn't quite accurate. One of my neighbors is and their kids are incredibly grounded, emotionally healthy and untethered to screens.
To sum it up, I'm glad I read it. But it could have been better....more
4 months ago I woke up to a sick babysitter and an early morning haircut that I absolutely had to have (It was a pixie cut then. A 12-week-gap is unth4 months ago I woke up to a sick babysitter and an early morning haircut that I absolutely had to have (It was a pixie cut then. A 12-week-gap is unthinkable). So I dragged my two kids over with bag of toys and promises of treats if they behaved themselves. Apologizing profusely, I walked into the tiny salon room--- 8 occupancy limit and I was making it 11---and I got the sternest stare from the head stylist. She's all tough and honestly used to terrify me a bit. She cut me off mid second apology and gave me a lecture about how it was fine, about how she used to bring her kids when they couldn't go to school, and about how kids are the most important thing in my life and "don't you ever, ever, ever apologize for bringing your kids anywhere." And, suddenly, it hit me that the public life of kids is so different now than 10, 15, 20 years ago.
It's quite good. Inevitably I would find myself thinking "But what about this?" and the next chapter would address it. It's realistic and I respect that.
I did take issue with a couple of sections that didn't go deep enough(both he and Brad Wilcox in Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization essentially said "Rexburg ID is an amazing place, defying trends because they have a jewelry store, a wedding dress store, and a baby store in town." and then talk about the reason professors take jobs at BYUI. What about the students?). The organization seemed a bit haphazard. And what about the growing infertility crisis? 7 years ago it was 1 in 8 and now it's 1 in 6. Maybe all those healthish nuts know something? I thought it would be outside the scope but then almost 6 pages were devoted to the pill... and didn't really discuss the multitude of health side effects(among them depression. Who wants kids when you're depressed?).
But kudos to Tim for noticing and touching on things my mom friends have all been noticing. The almost impossibility of bringing your kids anywhere---especially since COVID. The ridiculousness of being unable to put three car seats in the back seat of a "family friendly vehicle." The disappearance of the village. Admittedly, I'm in the odd minority with my issues because some of those things are my pet soapboxes. So, realistically, I'd give it a 4. But for feeling seen I'll roll it up a star....more
Not rating because it's a memoir. The short chapters were nice, though. But I will say that the choice (probably by the publisher) to leave citations Not rating because it's a memoir. The short chapters were nice, though. But I will say that the choice (probably by the publisher) to leave citations out of the printed version and require leaving to a website to view them was not the choice I would have made.
I had several other thoughts, but the one I will leave here is that I used to, and still often, look askance at people who inherit or easily come by wealth or prominence*. They often don't seem to get what life looks like for people who don't. However, in some instances, the almost-ancient attitude can prove to be correct. When you have the wealth you can take the time and, I hesitate to use this word, the immunity from certain issues and, if you use it well, actually do some good. It's rare. The book definitely proves that(whatever your political stance there's probably a person in this sort of position that you support) . But I'm grateful for the people who do feel called to do good with their privilege(and actually do it).
*Liz doesn't say it but it's easy to mentally do the work if you find the dates. And, wow, doesn't the state of government today tell you something about those sorts of people?...more
In an effort to better understand the religious community in our local area, last year I began following a local rabbi on FB. Periodically he posts phIn an effort to better understand the religious community in our local area, last year I began following a local rabbi on FB. Periodically he posts photos of himself and new members of his congregation(what I would term a convert). And as I a) didn't realize you could do that until last year and b) didn't know what was required to do that, I thought this other book by Diamant would be helpful to understand the process and it was. There was some overlap from her other books and also some lovely ways of expressing her and their faith.
If anyone has a faith full Greek Orthodox account I can follow, let me know. :)...more
Keith Erekson's book from a few years ago reminded me of a few rumored wedding traditions that I had never seen in print. They aren't here in detail eKeith Erekson's book from a few years ago reminded me of a few rumored wedding traditions that I had never seen in print. They aren't here in detail either. But it was still interesting, especially after reading Seven Blessings earlier last year. ...more
I highly respected both of these authors, for different reasons, before I read this book. So I'm not quite neutral.
If I'm being honest, it's drier thI highly respected both of these authors, for different reasons, before I read this book. So I'm not quite neutral.
If I'm being honest, it's drier than I expected because I didn't know DB published books like this. I thought they were limited to frothy fiction, Influencer feel-good nonfiction, and General Authority books, with the occasional specialty book (like the brilliant Stay Thou Nearby: Reflections on the 1978 Revelation on the Priesthood). I do appreciate the data and the studies that went into it. But it was a bit of a shock to me. I also don't feel like the title accurately represents the book. Something like "Following Up: What 2 Years of Home-Centered Gospel Learning Has Taught Us." There is a good amount of focus on revelation but it seems like there's a broader picture there. And that wouldn't allow for all the wonderful quotes and helpful experiences from members of other faiths.
But if you push all those issues away, I enjoyed it. The concerns, the experiences, the quotes, the tidbits of good information will all be there to encourage me (hopefully) when I need them as I get better and my children get older....more
I stand by what I've said before: their design team is quite good. I also like Sheri. Not coming at this from an unbiased view at all. So, if you didnI stand by what I've said before: their design team is quite good. I also like Sheri. Not coming at this from an unbiased view at all. So, if you didn't know, now you do. ...more
Some of this is recycled. But I really appreciated having it all in one place. I also found his connection in the introduction to be fascinating. In sSome of this is recycled. But I really appreciated having it all in one place. I also found his connection in the introduction to be fascinating. In some ways I really relate to the need to be always learning and progressing in something. It's my greatest struggle and also one of my greatest joys....more
I had a hard time putting this one down. I'm not sure if it's because I was glad to find someone who was as similarly-minded towards A. Bronson AlcottI had a hard time putting this one down. I'm not sure if it's because I was glad to find someone who was as similarly-minded towards A. Bronson Alcott as I was or if it was the plethora of new information that was present on its pages. I'm sure some of it was the skill of the author. Regardless, I enjoyed it and was grateful to see a comparatively balanced view of LMA's life. The last few that I read on the topic try to be professional literary critics and amateur historians, while I prefer it switched.
I also enjoyed the different view of Emerson. His thoughts on Bronson made the book for me. Would be fascinating, based on the other men in my life who can't work, to know a bit more about his early life. I definitely was impressed by Louisa's graciousness to him. If I had been her such kindness would have been so difficult, though. Especially after Fruitlands and his views on blondes vs brunettes.
Also Bronson's Wikipedia needs to be heavily rewritten/fact checked....more
I was interested in her view on adoption and the connected discussion. I'd like to see a less-memoiry book on the same topic aMemoir soooo no rating.
I was interested in her view on adoption and the connected discussion. I'd like to see a less-memoiry book on the same topic and see the stats(not a statement on anything the book is lacking---I just prefer both types before developing a stance). Not that I'm in the position to adopt.
The tone is quite humorous, but if language isn't your thing, this book might not be. I skimmed it heavily in some parts....more
This book grated on my consciousness for days. The constant sparring, griping, sadness, hopelessness wearied my soul. But Myerhoff can write. By the eThis book grated on my consciousness for days. The constant sparring, griping, sadness, hopelessness wearied my soul. But Myerhoff can write. By the end those things didn't bother me any more.
Perhaps it's because her last chapter was my favorite topic (domestic religion). Perhaps it's because you know the reasoning behind all of the above by the end. Perhaps it's because you recognize that it's a universal fate. Maybe it's because I recognized too many people that I know in these pages. For whatever reason, I was eager to continue reading her thoughtfully crafted work and also very eager to be done.
I blame Potok's Davita's Harp for my interest in rituals for the grieving. I wanted to learn more and found that, apart from a few small things (and uI blame Potok's Davita's Harp for my interest in rituals for the grieving. I wanted to learn more and found that, apart from a few small things (and updated liberal practices) Potok's book was quite comprehensive.
It begs the question, though: Do we, as a largely privately grieving society, suffer in some way since we have mostly eliminated practices such as these? And do religious Jews benefit, emotionally at least, in ways that we don't?...more
I think the cover is actually perfect for this one. This book covers an essential piece of relationships. However, I believe that it is not the only pI think the cover is actually perfect for this one. This book covers an essential piece of relationships. However, I believe that it is not the only piece. Nor was I pleased when he promised studies regarding its success and did not produce one. Individual case studies that are not returned to and followed up on do not count....more
Loading...
