I'm going to pretend I didn't read this series so I can keep reading my silly lil KA books in peace. I'm not the type of person to pu**Spoilers ahead**
I'm going to pretend I didn't read this series so I can keep reading my silly lil KA books in peace. I'm not the type of person to push through a series that i'm not enjoying, but people love this one so much, so I kept on, because I had faith in Kiera bringing it home strong in book 3 buuuuuuut...
How is it possible to have ALL of the most coolest storylines in one book... - Gay romance ...more
I want a refund of the hours of my life I WASTED reading this book. [image]
Tristan was an insufferable cunt, and considering (view spoiler)[he got shotI want a refund of the hours of my life I WASTED reading this book. [image]
Tristan was an insufferable cunt, and considering (view spoiler)[he got shot in the fucking shoulder, the pair of fuckwits in this book still fuck DIRECTLY after he's released from hospital and Ford is flipping Tristan over and roughing him up... like he didn't just get his shoulder fucking destroyed. (hide spoiler)]...more
Where I roast the shit out of books that are lacking in flavour, spice and depth. However, the spice was NOTWelcome to my cooking channel. (Recipe 3!)
Where I roast the shit out of books that are lacking in flavour, spice and depth. However, the spice was NOT an issue here, if you're spice of choice is cum.. Because you'll either be SO SICK OF CUM by the end of this book, or you'll be close to dying from cumming in your pants. There is no in-between here people. (Also, did you really like this book or are you just horny? #nojudgmenthere)
It's been awhile since a book was worthy of the recipe honour. SO I am happy to be here, without further ado. READY, STEADY, COOK!
This is a super easy one, just chuck all of the following ingredients into a crockpot, set to high, leave your kindle inside and wait until your house burns down....more
- This book took the wrinkles from my brain, and ironed them. - I think if you google the word “mid” this book might come up as a suggestion. - This b- This book took the wrinkles from my brain, and ironed them. - I think if you google the word “mid” this book might come up as a suggestion. - This book will be good for you, if you think pepper is spicy. Thank you. ...more
time of death: 52% Length of time suffered before death(dnf): INFINITE♾️ WHAT THE F DID I JUST READ?! He used the word “suckle” when describing sucking time of death: 52% Length of time suffered before death(dnf): INFINITE♾️ WHAT THE F DID I JUST READ?! He used the word “suckle” when describing sucking dick, and I knew that was it for me. This book was my 13th reason.
I'm back to add to my review. Let’s get straight to it because the sooner, I can bleach this book from my memory, the better. I wish there was a star rating lower than one because this book fucking missed. [image] It missed plot. It missed a realistic relationship. It missed ANYTHING that you may want in a time travel romance. It missed sense and reason. It missed QUESTIONS. NO PERSON IN THIS BOOK QUESTIONS ANY OF THE WEIRD SHIT THATS GOING ON AROUND THEM?? It missed authentic and realistic dialogue.
NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, can simply explain this absolute nonsensical fuckery this book provides to you and why it was so ridiculous. I won't get into Johns character, but just know, he is not without flaws also. He was very "I'm not gay" to I'll let you touch my dick within 3 days and there was NO chemistry or reason or bi awakening in that time... it just went from "i'm not that kind of man" to... okay lessssssssssgo? IN A TIME WHERE I'TS "FORBIDDEN" MAYBE? because John's friends seemed chill with it considering.. but it was weird. LETS focus on MC 1 though.
The mc 1 (Laurie) is dumb, self absorbed, can’t read a room, pushes himself on his love interest after being told that the other man is not gay, uses questionable consent, is inappropriate and most of all, I can not stress this enough, DUMB. I can’t rest without truly expressing how much I fucking hated this MC. I don't think a good idea or thought crosses into his brain, this entire book?? [image]
I think this one scene in particular really sums up who Laurie was as a person… A kind man (John, our second MC) who is sheltering Laurie after being a bit hesitant at first (because who wouldn’t be hesitant if a random man showed up to your front door in 1891 in a Carhartt jacket in the middle of a snow storm) finally opens up a little about his trauma from being shot, and in a war, and seeing awful things done to children and women… etc. the MC kindly and respectfully says “IS THAT WHERE YOU SAW A MAN GET SCALPED?”
Ummmm excuse me???Read the fucking room bro. And then again, a page or two later, after John starts unloading slightly more trauma stories about the reason he chose to live an isolated life far away, instead of expressing any forms of empathy, sympathy, decency or any kind of normal human standard of response… our wonderful MC Laurie, who I love, adore and cherish, begins to ask for FUCKING REASSURANCE???
It was very.. “oh sorry you saw people being murdered, but like can you please forget that and focus on what’s important here, ME, please call me a good boy and make sure I don’t feel like I’m putting you out in any way by moving into your house after just meeting you”
[image]
In summary: - I hate Laurie - Laurie was awful - Laurie is the overall reason this book was shit - Laurie literally didn’t deserve John’s love, and John felt like a lonely old man who confused loneliness for love. - I’m convinced the author may be an alien wearing human skin if they think this book convey proper human emotions. - Laurie sucked (and suckled lol ew)
Also if you LOVE REPETITIVE USE OF WORDS. You’re gonna fucking froth this number count I have done on your behalf.
Union suit - 41 times (although not a huge number, you’re telling me I’m supposed to find a man in a glorified old school onesie with A BUTT FLAP sexually appealing in any way??? In what universe???) Ranch - 54 times (usually just dumb “oh I hope I don’t have to pay extra for this cabin experience for the ranch” when ITS OBVIOUSLY NO WHERE NEAR THE FUCKING RANCH. You aren’t in RANCH-AS ANY MORE DOROTHY, you fucking idiot) Dude -84 times Cowboy - 91 times (always along with the cringiest dialogue that will make your skin feel like there are roaches crawling under it) “Laurie” - 1918 times “John” 1969 times - R U KIDDING? Like I know it’s 3rd person but there’s a sentence where the word Laurie is used 5 times, IN ONE FUCKING SENTENCE. Omg.
Also, fuck this book for 3 more reasons. - Use of the word “suckle” during fellatio. - Use of the word “mighty spend” for cumming. - Being labelled a time travel book when time travel is never really discussed, or observed or looked at in any depth apart from ✨time travel because✨ and then the INCIDENT of time travel arises, it literally got “activated” by the mother fucking power of love, there was no reasons, or science or cool any part of time travel. He just walked to the mountain, thought of John, and ✨POOF✨ is back in 1891.
I regretted not dnf-ing at like 26% honestly. I want a refund of my time, please n thank you. [image]...more
HE PUT HIS ARM, UP TO THE ELBOW… INSIDE WHAT NOW??? [image] JAIL.
Notes to future self, for when I forget this books plot.. by tomorrow.. and need to comHE PUT HIS ARM, UP TO THE ELBOW… INSIDE WHAT NOW??? [image] JAIL.
Notes to future self, for when I forget this books plot.. by tomorrow.. and need to come remember what it was about.. 1. Close to ✨absolutely nothing ✨ 2. Lots of sailing around/sailing talk because apparently Parker is a pirate in his spare time 3. Pretty much no zombies and considering it’s a series… about zombies… bit weird ...more
So its like... Phantom of the opera, but then make it gay, add some glory holes and a sprinkle of voyeurism and... ✨voilà✨ you get this book? Sounds gSo its like... Phantom of the opera, but then make it gay, add some glory holes and a sprinkle of voyeurism and... ✨voilà✨ you get this book? Sounds good right??!......... only........ it's not ...more
The MC in this book is an insufferable knob head for the first 45% of this book and completely scarred the rest of the story because I couldn’t let goThe MC in this book is an insufferable knob head for the first 45% of this book and completely scarred the rest of the story because I couldn’t let go of my hatred??? Why he gotta be so rude?
He was awful to his friends and people who supported him through his transition, because why??? [image]
Sure, Neil has his 'redemption arc', and everything was feeling okay…. NEK MINNUT…. 3rd act break up, well fuck me sideways. I cannot. ...more
I'm so sorry in advance, and I LOVE ME SOME SAXON JAMES AIIGHT, I AIN'T NO HATER.... (except in this one case sorryI'm so sorry in advance, and I LOVE ME SOME SAXON JAMES AIIGHT, I AIN'T NO HATER.... (except in this one case sorry...more
Time of death: 14% Smashed that dnf button. (I'm so sorry to my buddy reader, I hope you love it and it's everything you've ever wanted xxxx)
In case yoTime of death: 14% Smashed that dnf button. (I'm so sorry to my buddy reader, I hope you love it and it's everything you've ever wanted xxxx)
In case you (anyone reading this review) need help working this out in the first 10%, he may or may not have a lip ring? I'm only speculating though after reading about this stupid fucking lip ring 45782 times in the first 48 pages.
The dialogue was cringy and m/f just isn't my jam 99% of the time anyway so I was struggling. Plus I read this book is all about cheating which made me feel icky from the start. The FMC is irrationally pissed off and rude to her "new housemate" who she's obviously very sexually attracted to, but she just straight up awful in general??
Basing my opinion off 14% though I guess which is rough, but I choose violence and raw dogging my feelings in 2024 and plan on dnf-ing every book that I dislike because I ain't sitting through 7.5 hours of BS because I'm being too stubborn to drop a crap book lol <3
I have felt more sexual chemistry and connection with an unwashed potato at the supermarket, than I felt between any of these characters.
There are so I have felt more sexual chemistry and connection with an unwashed potato at the supermarket, than I felt between any of these characters.
There are so many FLAT plot points.
There are TOO MANY fucking characters to try to care about… and shock horror, not a single fucking care was given to ANY of these characters.
The lore/atmosphere in this “dystopian world” are not clear… so there is like zombies and walls and death and destruction and food shortages, but also a city with a night club? And some people get conscripted to the army/fight for the world against zombies, but others just don’t? And are just living life? Going to the park with their dogs and shit??? Tehe…. But fr, what the fuck is going on here?
They only seem to wear army clothes the whole book, so I’m unsure of who the cuties on the cover are.
There are straight up mistakes. (Like counteracting sentences that will give you a stroke when you’re trying to understand if the sentence makes sense or you’re just dumb)
Spice was underwhelming. DON’T EAT ASS AFTER A WHOLE DAY OF ACTIVITIES KIDS, UNSANITARY MY DUDES
Plot underwhelming. I hate when authors really STRESS A PLOT POINT AT YOU….… example: “oh there’s a man who’s been conscripted, and he’s really unhappy, he will give you trouble and be hard to work with”
And instead of him being very difficult, and making life hell like it was implying….he literally is just standoffish and lowkey rude for one day….? Okay then….?
/insert that sound that says… “I hope you’re hungry… FOR NOTHING”
One mc cries a lot and the other is supposed to be a captain but does nothing captain-y towards mr cry baby, because ✨feelings✨
I’m sorry, this book was ridiculous. The writing was pretty good, I feel like if the book got some proper work done, it could have been a good story.
There were parts during the ending I was interested momentarily… and then something fucking dumb would happen, like everyone would seemingly forget how their friends just died horrifically and start making jokes about swimming pools on yachts. Weird but okay.
Realistically, the MC got his armpit sucked, licked and fucked…. And I should have quit at that point.
The dialogue sounded like the author said: “hey cRealistically, the MC got his armpit sucked, licked and fucked…. And I should have quit at that point.
The dialogue sounded like the author said: “hey chat gpt, write me some woke dialogue about being enlightened and treating my body like a temple and tell the reader I only eat sugar free, gluten free, enjoyment free food because I want to keep myself focussed and healthy, make it sound extra philosophical and wise though, and make sure the dialogue goes for like 4 FUCKING PAGES and then follow up with my MC's saying cool shit like... 'word' and 'you’re wildin' and 'beast' and 'facts' because we wanna keep it hip n fresh”
I'd like to think I have an open mind. And then I read shit like this book and think.. i'm gonna go sit my white-bread ass back downTIME OF DEATH: 49%
I'd like to think I have an open mind. And then I read shit like this book and think.. i'm gonna go sit my white-bread ass back down because holy hell that was... something... ...more
**spoiler alert** I was thinking about this book because all I could remember was one mc getting railed on a piano in a forest, which admittedly, was **spoiler alert** I was thinking about this book because all I could remember was one mc getting railed on a piano in a forest, which admittedly, was the best part of this entire book ...more
Sometimes I think “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”... This is not one of those times. This book was f**k TIME OF DEATH: 56%
Sometimes I think “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”... This is not one of those times. This book was f**k awful. PERIOD.
As an enjoyer, of Garron Park and Lot 62. This book hurt my skull from the amount of [image] that was going on in my head, at most stages of this book.
Xavi and Nate are written to be literally the stupidest humans ON EARTH. And not in a cute, silly 'tehe...more
**May be spoilers?? I'm not sure but cautioning just in case**
It literally breaks my heart to rate this. I really don't like rating books low, it hurt**May be spoilers?? I'm not sure but cautioning just in case**
It literally breaks my heart to rate this. I really don't like rating books low, it hurts me and I'm a lover. I want to love on everything I read, and the Author looks like an absolute sweetie! But I need to be honest. This book was tough. I'll start a little silly goofy, then get into it with some cons and pros. These are all my opinions, and I FEEL REALLY BAD.
Reasons I wanted to DNF: -The use of the word "pube" twice. That is twice too many times. -Mc wore KHAKI SHORTS to a party that was pretty much going to be a hot sexy dragon orgy? tf? -TO MAKE THAT POINT WORSE, 3 TIMES KHAKI PANTS MAKE AN APPEARANCE. ON 3 DIFFERENT CHARACTERS. DOES THIS WORLD ONLY EXIST OF KHAKI PANTS? My sleep paralysis demon gonna look like khaki pants at this rate. -The use of the whole "it had been 3 weeks now"/time skipping literally destroyed all chances of building these MC's relationship. -Sentences SO GENERIC that I was eye rolling like "we've got company" /insert eye rolling emoji. -Spicy scene ending with a weird inessential line about seagulls squarking and looking at naked men or something, I forgot to note it exactly but I was like 0_0 um okay.... when I read that. -I swear one MC's hair color changed half way through. or again, maybe I just misread that. -Vampires who can go in the sun, this is new? or I've just never read a book with sun vampires before?? I don't read vampire books to be honest. So I wouldn't know.
I am no critic. I am not good at my own words, hence why I don't write books lol so bare with me.
The book reads like a VERY simple YA, there is no depth to the language used which can be nice when you want a nice calm read but this felt too simple? Especially when it's set in a modern world that has dragons and fae and etc., I feel like it should have been invoking a head cinema but it didn't create much at all. The simple language also made the spice feel kinda odd? Because it was very YA, and then they were smashing. So it was a strange juxtaposition for me. Spice was aiight though, it was pretty mild in comparison to the spicy trash I read, but it may be a lot for others. (There was consent discussion too, for all ya'll who need that clarified)
The side characters were good enough, but didn't feel flushed out enough to care about them. Claire was about the only side character who got some proper depth. She was fun and pretty bad ass over all.
The Mc's.... just hot men just being kinda boring and hot? One of them is the broody protective dragon. The other a man shoved into a world where he's being hunted for unknown reasons who cries too much and flicks between being all sunshine and rainbows one second to being hell traumatized and crying the next.. and their relationship, wasn't quite insta-love... but it was pretty damn close to it but at least with insta-love there's normally some kind of bizarre INSTANT connection.... With these Mc's, it felt rushed and forced and they had no chemistry except thinking the other person was hot in the beginning??? They barely even spoke to each other, and NEK MINNIT... They fooling around, talking like they known each other months. tf?
And then the authors use of "And then it was 2 weeks later" really killed all the chances to create the relationship.. There is a part where its says something like... "we acted like boyfriends, with the way he'd cuddle me into the night and how I'd learned to brew the coffee he loved, making sure it was by his bedside" THIS LINE COULD HAVE BEEN CUTE IF YOU HAD WRITTEN ANY OF THESE KIND OF CUTE MOMENTS AND FEELINGS INTO THE ACTUAL BOOK TF??? But there was nothing. This sentence felt off.
There is also (what I assume) an error in the book?? Maybe I'm dumb... I was waiting for a mic drop "wait you knew who I was the whole time?" moment... Because the MC's made a fuss about pretending to be someone else to get into this party, and introduce themselves as the cover up name.... But then they meet a cool drag queen person, and the drag queen uses the MC's real name???? (TBH By this point, I was starting to skip a few sentences here and there so maybe that was explained and I missed it but I did go back and tried to see where/if I missed it and I couldn't find it)
I feel like there's a tonne more feelings I have but this review is already too long.
Things I liked: The idea of the world WAS SO COOL, like the whole dragons/fae integrated into society thing. Claire was cool. Spice was aiight. Damien gave hot man vibes. Attempted descriptions of places and surroundings so you could get some idea of the scene. I finished it quickly so good if you don't wanna read a mammoth read. THE SNAKE WAY. That was the coolest thing in this book actually I just remembered. AND THE COVER OMG. An absolute powerhouse of talent that artist is.
I feel like a horrible person. All opinions my own. BUT IM SORRY PLEZ DONT HATE ME.
Added: 13/2/2024 ***my dislike for this book is the reason I have no fear to post the absolute trash that comes out of my mouth and into my reviews these days and I’m so grateful to have my GR friends on here understand me and my humour even though I’m a tad crass, but I’m thankful you’re all here. I met my book besties thanks to this book, so some good did some out of the time I wasted reading it ...more
Welcome to my cooking channel. Where I roast the shit out of books that are lacking in flavour, (sometimes) spice and depth.
THIS RECIPE IS 100% SPOILEWelcome to my cooking channel. Where I roast the shit out of books that are lacking in flavour, (sometimes) spice and depth.
THIS RECIPE IS 100% SPOILER FULL. THERE ARE 10 STEPS TO MY CREATION AND PROMISE IT'S WORTH IT TO READ. maybe?
Do not read this if you are wanting to read this, or want your feelings to be considered because I'm going in RAW, and we are all getting food poisoning babyyyyyyyyy. (I will come back to this RAW reference as it is a crucial part of my recipe/analysis, also please be aware I will not get into the grief sides of this book too much, if at all, because I couldn't overlook all the ridiculous shit I was reading to really feel the grief properly in this book. Check your trigger warnings if you read it)
Now: on to my recipe.
Nothing says 1 star ⭐ like the following ingredients all added together to make an absolute shit show of a book...
Step 1: Insert a cheating trope. Right away, you will have a large (not all I know, I know) but large % of readers off hand right from the start. YUM!
Step 2: Add a side of "falling in love because *reasons*" because PEOPLE LOVE SEEING PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE FOR SEEMINGLY NO REASON ...more
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