”When you made your first offer, I was willing to let you pass if off as a joke,” Satie said. “You're not the first billionaire I've ferried around. I”When you made your first offer, I was willing to let you pass if off as a joke,” Satie said. “You're not the first billionaire I've ferried around. I know how you all like to wave around your money dick to see who might be willing to suck on it. If you had let it go when I gave you the opportunity, I was willing to ignore it. But you had to push it. You wanted to see how much it would cost for me to compromise the safety of everyone on this aircraft, me included, to assert your dominance. So, now here is my answer, Mr. Sanders. I will let you out for free. And there is no amount of money, on this planet or the other, that you or anyone else could pay me to let you back in.” pg. 154
I actually really enjoyed this.
I think it helps that I have read a lot of Scalzi and pretty much know what to expect now. This is one of Scalzi's lighter works, akin to Redshirts. As per usual, Scalzi is shit at writing characters. That is to say, all his characters are basically the same person: smart, witty, sharp, and hilarious. It's kind of like Joss Whedon. All the characters are Scalzi himself, basically. Don't read Scalzi for character development or character arcs.
That being said, the book is so funny. I was laughing once or twice and definitely smiling a lot. It's also action-packed and fun. If you want a light, action-packed, fun book about Godzilla and Godzilla-type monsters, this is it.
Laertes's parents were the sort of outwardly very nice conservative people who wouldn't miss an opportunity to call Laertes by his deadname, and that shit will wear you down over time. pg. 7
Our hero, Jamie*,
*Scalzi does not mention in the entirety of the book if Jamie is male or female. This may SOUND revolutionary to you, but honestly I found it forced and annoying. It was fun and mind-challenging the first time he did it, in Lock In. There, I felt like he was making a statement and honestly having two versions of the audiobook – one narrated by Wil Wheaton and one narrated by Amber Benson – was smart, challenging, and fun. However, I don't have any desire for him to do it for every book and he seemingly does.
The problem with this is that (forgive me) Scalzi is not talented enough to write a non-binary or genderfluid character. Or, that is to say, a character that make you question if he/she is a male or female. Or both or neither or whatever. He doesn't have the skillz. So what he DOES is he just strips the character of anything resembling gender, sex, romance or personality. LOL Leaning into his strengths, LOL, writing personality-less characters is his strength. ANYWAY. It comes off stilted. It is created by building a main character who never mentions, thinks, talks about sex, romance, gender, dating, sexual attraction etc. etc. etc. Nor do any of the side characters mention this. So, it's very artificial.
”So, you worked there, you can tell me this,” Tom said, when I delivered his Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, which honestly I was surprised was allowed within the borders of New York City at all, much less this close to Little Italy. pg. 12
“Wait!” I can hear you say. “Some people are aromantic! And asexual! And gender-neutral!” OK, sure, fine, but somebody is going to say something and even in your own head you are going to think about things sometimes. Life isn't sterile. Not only does Jamie not have any sexual, romantic, or gender-based thoughts, but no one uses gendered pronouns around him, for him, asks him about his pronouns, looks at him with lust, makes any kind of question/comment about him, his romantic sexual life, his romantic sexual tastes, his appearance NOTHING. It's honestly ridiculous and so far-fetched.
Thirdly, Scalzi can't write a female MC. I'm sorry, he's not skilled enough at writing a female POV so his “genderless” characters sound like men. Rather neutered and repressed men, but men nonetheless. This MC didn't sound female at all to me, nor was I tempted to think or even wonder if he was female at any time.
So, where was I -
Our hero, Jamie, finds himself out of work after a HILARIOUS meeting with his asshole boss that I really have to give Scalzi credit for. It's an amazing first chapter. Quite funny and (like the book) full of science-fiction references. Down on his luck, he takes a job driving for a food-delivery service. This is during COVID.
”Our delivery people - “
“Deliverators.”
I shifted in the beanbag. “What?”
“Deliverators. That's what we're calling them now. Clever, right? I thought up the term.”
“I thought Neal Stephenson did.”
“Who?”
“He's a writer. He wrote SNOW CRASH.”
“And that's, what, a FROZEN sequel?”
“It's a book, actually.”
Rob waved his hand dismissively. “If it's not Disney, we won't get sued for it. You were saying?” pg. 3
By the way, Scalzi does a great job of placing his novel during Covid. He addresses Covid, talks about Covid, has his characters dealing with Covid and a Covid-world, but doesn't make it heavy or oppressive. I'd compare it to how it's dealt with in GLASS ONION: KNIVES OUT.
”Finally, with this one” - Dr. Lee pointed to one of the last syringes in the longest tray - “in one in about two hundred fifty injections, the recipient feels the urge for, let's just say, intense and homicidal violence. Like, 'murder everyone in the building and build a pyre with their skulls' level of violence.”
“I can understand that,” I assured her.
“No, you can't,” she assured me back. “Fortunately, there's a direct and accompanying side effect of extreme lassitude, which keeps most people from acting on the urge.”
“So, like, 'I want to kill you but that would mean leaving the couch.'”
“Exactly,” Dr. Lee said. “We call it MURDER STONER SYNDROME.”
“That can't be real.” pg. 23
During his delivery job he runs into an old acquaintance who ends up scoring him an interview at the KPS and the rest is history.
”You have a nemesis now,” Kahurangi said. “I'm officially jealous. I've always wanted to have a nemesis.”
“I'll be your nemesis,” I volunteered.
“Thanks, Jamie, I appreciate the offer. But you have to win your nemesis on the field of battle.”
“I could punch you if that helps.”
“Tempting, but no.”
“The offer stands.” pg. 102
The science here is kind of hand-wavy, please don't expect hard science fiction from this. But it's a lot of fun.
I liked the funny, smart, slightly badass and stalwart main character.
TL;DR I will definitely be recommending this book to a lot of people. It's smart, funny, a good time, and kind of resembles an action film. I think it will appeal to a lot of people. Scalzi also has a great number of female MCs who are super-smart and kick butt, he has transgender characters, non-binary characters, characters of every single skin color, ethnic background and religion. He writes all this with zero drama, creating this kind of LGBTQIA+ non-racist, non-religious-conflict society where everyone respects each other and works scientifically for the greater good. Reminiscent of Star Trek.
The downside is this kind of neutral society also strips his characters of anything interesting. Everyone is John Scalzi. Everyone speaks with Scalzi's voice. Everyone is smart, funny, whip-smart, quick on their feet and slightly badass. Do not expect real characters. Do not expect character arcs. Do not expect a character-driven story. Do not expect nuance, subtlety, deep-thinking nor a complex plot. DO buckle in for a riotous good time full of fun adventures, action, and cool monsters.
”She's probably going to hate your guts for the rest of the tour. Well, the rest of her tour, anyway.”
“It'll be fine,” Aparna said. “I'll bake her some cookies. All will be forgiven.”
“Those will have to be some damn fine cookies,” I said. “I was there. That was some heavy-duty stuffage.”
“They've worked before.”
“You've done this before?”
“Enough times that I've gotten very good at making cookies.”
“Damn, Aparna,” Niamh said, impressed. “You are now officially my new role model.”
“Shut up, I know it,” Aparna said, mildly.
“Now I want cookies,” Kahurangi said.
“You know the price,” I said.
“It'll be worth it.” pg. 103
Scalzi is great with the science-fiction references, I was enjoying them a lot. And he doesn't overdo it, like, say, Ernest Cline who just is TOO MUCH. Scalzi is just the right amount.
”They didn't consider that it was a cross-dimensional barrier. They came through to our world because it never occurred to them that they COULDN'T.” pg. 165
So much more! If you love sci-fi, you will be jiving on all the references here.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK: (view spoiler)[ Jamie m (although Scalzi is trying for a genderless character here) Rob m Robert Qanisha f Brent m Laertes – Brent's boyfriend – transgender? Has a deadname Reba f Tom m Iris f Diego m Gracia f Aparna f Kahurangi m Niamh they/them Brynn f Rodrigo m Mattias m Betsy – kaiju Kevin – kaiju Joao m Sylvia f Martin m Val f Edward – Kaiju Bella – Kaiju Jeneba f Yeneva Angel f Riddu f Ion m Irina f David m (hide spoiler)]...more
No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater tNo one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as our own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over matter. It is possible that the infusoria under the microscope do the same. No one gave a thought to the older worlds of space as sources of human danger, or thought of them only to dismiss the idea of life upon them as impossible or improbable. It is curious to recall some of the mental habits of those departed days. At most, terrestrial men fancied there might be other men upon Mars, perhaps inferior to themselves and ready to welcome a missionary enterprise. Yet across the gulf of space, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. And early in the twentieth century came the great disillusionment.
Hmmmmm, how fucking amazing is this? Actually, the whole first chapter of this book, titled, "THE EVE OF WAR" is pretty amazing. Very enjoyable. The book loses something when it adopts our MC telling us about his experiences during the invasion, but Wells rescues himself with some breathtaking breakdowns of morality, ethics, war horrors, and survival. Not to mention class differences.
Wells is also, like Faber in Under the Skin, using aliens and science fiction to push a vegan agenda.
"You can't be serious, Carmen. H.G. Wells was not pushing a vegan agenda."
CARMEN: *sips coffee* *looks at you*
Oh, yes, he absolutely was, and vegans of today who are interested in reading works of fiction which promote vegan lifestyles can enjoy both this book and Faber's book and perhaps incorporate them into a vegan book club. I mean, surely vegans must get tired of what can sometimes be self-righteous and pompous propaganda which exists in vegan non-fiction. Not to mention it is often fucking depressing, especially the books that talk about the suffering of animals in graphic detail. Even if something like veganism was not popular in Wells time and place, you can easily see how this is a vegan book.
The book makes some (what must be at the time: earthshattering) conclusions about humankind. This is a book like The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde which, when you read it now, it seems like old hat, but in its day must have just blown people away with its radical concepts.
Imagine humans NOT being the masters of all they survey. Imagine humans encountering beings smarter, stronger, and more ruthless then themselves, which see humans simply as ants, cockroaches, or rabbits - to be exterminated and/or eaten. That's what we are dealing with here, and it cannot be denied that Wells revolutionized and charged the genre of science-fiction much the way Mary Shelley did with her revolutionary, mind-blowing Frankenstein.
A lot of people read FRANKENSTEIN today and are disappointed. It's so old-fashioned. It's nothing like the media trained you to think it was. It's slow, it's old. You might read WAR OF THE WORLDS or DRACULA or DR. JEKYLL and feel the same way. But you have to understand that at the time, these authors were completely slaying people's long-held beliefs and way of thinking. Some of the old sci-fi/horror classics hold up, and some don't. DR. JEKYLL is particularly weak IMO, but DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN hold up very well (IMO). I loved both and think they are still very arresting and relevant today.
So how does WAR OF THE WORLDS hold up? Amazing first chapter that blows you out of the water.
And we men, the creatures who inhabit this earth, must be to them at least as alien and lowly as are the monkeys and lemurs to us. The intellectual side of man already admits that life is an incessant struggle for existence, and it would seem that this too is the belief of the minds upon Mars. Their world is far gone in its cooling and this world is still crowded with life, but crowded only with what they regard as inferior animals. To carry warfare sunward is, indeed, their only escape from the destruction that, generation after generation, creeps upon them.
And before we judge them too harshly we must remember what ruthless and utter destruction our own species has wrought, not only upon animals, such as the vanished bison and the dodo, but upon its inferior races.
Think of everything humanity does to animals, and the genocide, war, and slavery it inflicts on other human beings. Wells keeps bringing this up throughout the novel in a rare show of clear-eyed thinking about humanity, especially for an Englishman in 1898.
Now, the book loses something when we start following our MC around and experiencing the invasion with him. But the book saves itself in a few ways.
One, Wells's writing.
Few people realise the immensity of vacancy in which the dust of the material universe swims. ... Those who have never seen a living Martian can scarcely imagine the strange horror of its appearance.
He's got a lot of good writing in this book and some great turns of phrase.
Secondly, he decides not only to take down humanity's vanity and confidence, but also seeks to offer commentary on religion, class differences, and morality and ethics especially in the context of war. It's staggering how much he chooses to bite off here, but such takedowns engage the reader throughout the book.
He also doesn't skimp on the horror - not only the horrors and ravages of war, but the horror of the aliens and what they do to humans. It's honestly terrifying and Wells successfully scared me and made me disgusted.
I think he made his MC deliberately a member of the intelligentsia instead of a soldier, because - let me tell you - this book would have been completely different if told from the POV of someone who was a combat veteran. And that's on purpose. As the soldier he meets points out to him, after you've seen some shit then shit isn't as shocking.
"I saw what was up. Most of the people were hard at it, squealing and exciting themselves. But I'm not so fond of squealing. I've been in sight of death once or twice; I'm not an ornamental soldier, and at the best and worst, death - it's just death. And it's the man that keeps on thinking comes through."
The way Wells wraps up the book, the way he brings everything to a close, is also fucking brilliant. It may seem cliched or old hat NOW, but you have to realize it was mindblowing back then. Much like the concept of Jekyll/Hyde.
Now. I'm not saying that just because a book has cultural relevance and significance and is a classic in its genre that it's automatically good. Because I don't believe in that shit. Instead, I found myself actually enjoying and liking this book. That doesn't happen to me with every classic. Not every classic holds up. But classics that I enjoy and hold up for me (P&P, S&S, Frankenstein, Dracula, and Jane Eyre) don't please EVERYONE. I understand that old-fashioned books, language, and plotting can be boring and stupid to modern readers. And there are classics that come off that way to me, as well. So YMMV. I've certainly read classics that I've absolutely hated, and this might be one of those for you as well.
While reading this book it seemed achingly familiar to me. I think I've probably read this before. Maybe a decade ago or so, I don't know. It's also possible that this book is SO entrenched in pop culture that I just thought I'd read it, but I don't think so. But I'm going to list it here as my first reading since I can't specifically remember reading it before.
I like Wells's points here. - His pushing of a vegan agenda; extraordinary for a man of his time. - His takedown of religion and interpretation of God and what God entails. Not atheist, but a super interesting viewpoint of his time, cackling that 'God is not an insurance agent' and surmising that it's equally likely that humanity's new Martian masters also pray to God and expect God's protection. - His portrayal as a curate (clergy) as a weak, spineless, helpless and selfish individual. - His takedown and analysis of class differences, especially when the MC gets into a discussion with a soldier about humanity's future. - His discussion of the horrors of war - not only what the enemy is inflicting upon you, but what war's victims end up doing to each other. His analysis of the terrible things people find themselves doing to survive, and if that can be forgiven or not when normality is restored.
Those who have escaped the dark and terrible aspects of life will find my brutality, my flash of rage in our final tragedy, easy enough to blame; for they know what is wrong as well as any, but not what is possible to tortured men. But those who have been under the shadow, who have gone down at last to elemental things, will have a wider charity.
I mean, take your pick, he just slays here with his cultural and social commentary. I find him lacking and tone-deaf on the plight of women, but I can't have everything. At least not from this author. >.< LOL
TL;DR - Hmmmmmmmm. Reading the sci-fi and horror classics can be very illuminating and oftentimes rewarding. That was the case here. Even though I don't think this book is a strong structurally as FRANKENSTEIN or DRACULA (the plot meanders a bit), Wells certainly hammers home not only his revolutionary and life-changing ideas, but puts forth some true literary gems.
Although it isn't perfect, I am still giving it five stars. With some caveats.
Also, I want to restate that this won't be for everyone.
Strange night! Strangest in this, that so soon as dawn had come, I, who had talked with God, crept out of the house like a rat leaving its hiding place - a creature scarcely larger, an inferior animal, a thing that for any passing whim of our masters might be hunted and killed. Perhaps they also prayed confidently to God. Surely, if we have learned nothing else, this war has taught us pity - pity for those witless souls that suffer our dominion.
Read with Non-Crunchy Cool Classic Pantaloonless Buddy Read group, February 2018...more
"I can't stand Picard or his mindwitch." ... "Lieutienant Commander Data. Science officer and Picard's pet android. I don't like being this close to him"I can't stand Picard or his mindwitch." ... "Lieutienant Commander Data. Science officer and Picard's pet android. I don't like being this close to him. He smells of... ozone."
Evil alternate ST:NG universe. Picard is so yummy and you get to see his muscly arms here, since in the alternative universe apparently no one believes in sleeves. Data is looking pretty good, as well. However, Picard has a goatee and it looks horrible. :(
Is the only thing you're going to talk about is how attractive the men are?
Um.... yes?
Okay.
There's a also a really weird Green Lantern / Star Trek Reboot crossover tacked on to this comic. o.O
THIS STORY IS THE ORIGIN OF THE 2016 FILM "ARRIVAL"
"God, of course I know that. Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"No, of course not."
What I'll think is thatTHIS STORY IS THE ORIGIN OF THE 2016 FILM "ARRIVAL"
"God, of course I know that. Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"No, of course not."
What I'll think is that you are clearly, maddeningly not me. It will remind me, again, that you won't be a clone of me; you can be wonderful, a daily delight, but you won't be someone I could have created by myself."
This is a brilliant short story. Basically the plot is (view spoiler)[learning an alien language allows the MC to see the future, because the aliens have this ability and when she learns to think, dream, read, and speak Alien she gains this ability. (hide spoiler)]
The good part is that Chiang is slow in revealing this.
The story is very smart. The sprinkling of physics and linguistics in here is both delightful and clever, but Chiang neatly avoids becoming too professorial.
Instead, he competently shows his grasp of human nature through the MC's relationship with her growing daughter.
It'll be when you first learn to walk that I get daily demonstrations of the asymmetry in our relationship. You'll be incessantly running off somewhere, and each time you walk into a door frame or scrape your knee, the pain feels like it's my own. It'll be like growing an errant limb, and extension of myself whose sensory nerves report pain just fine, but whose motor nerves don't convey my commands at all. It's so unfair: I'm going to give birth to an animated voodoo doll of myself. I didn't see this in the contract when I signed up. Was this part of the deal?
The story -both the human aspect and the alien aspect, the personal aspect and the science aspect - are fascinating and ripe with potential. It's hard not to want to see this as a full length novel.
As someone who speaks two languages, it's hard not to get giddy with excitement at Chiang's representation of how learning other languages can expand your worldview in ways beyond your wildest imaginings.
Tl;dr - Smart, sweet, short and full of fascinating concepts begging to be explored.
UPDATE: I saw the film and I don't think it is as good as this short story. Usually that's not the case, usually I enjoy films LESS than the books they are based on but MORE than the short stories they are based on. But I think the film was a bit dull....more
She was never meant to see Sapphire look at her like this - fascinated, SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE
SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE
I'M NOT JOKING
.... ....
She was never meant to see Sapphire look at her like this - fascinated, bewildered, impressed - as if Ruby were the most important Gem in the universe!
What on Earth?!
LESBIAN FICTION FOR CHILDREN.
LESBIAN FICTION FOR CHILDREN.
This is the future and this is a triumph not only for the LGBTIA community but for humankind.
Not to hype this up or anything. :D *sips coffee*
So, because your child(ren) is inundated with approximately ten million billion heterosexual messages from the media every week, it's super-important to introduce the concept of queer love to them. Whatever form this takes, it would take forever to list the non-heterosexual ideas that exist in the world, I'm using 'queer' as a catchall here.
It shouldn't be a sudden surprise to the child to find out about queer love at an older age, nor is it a good idea to allow your child to be introduced to the idea of non-heterosexual love by having them hear slurs and hate-talk on the bus home from school.
So. Buy it, get it from your library... if your library doesn't own a copy, ask them to buy one. Read it with your child. Along with Red: A Crayon's Story, and any other children's literature you want to read to your child(ren). I'm not saying stop reading Corduroy and The Tale of Peter Rabbit and The Monster at the End of this Book or Cinderella: A Little Golden Book or whatever. I'm only telling you that a.) it's important to introduce your child to the concept of non-heterosexual love because TRUST ME they are being indoctrinated in the heterosexual cisgender agenda almost every single second of their waking lives and b.) getting in and getting in early with loving and sweet messages is important before they learn that queer people are hated, feared, spit on, and murdered for merely existing.
Mind talking about the actual plot, Carmen?
Sure. *sips coffee*
Sapphire is psychic and three Ruby guards are assigned to protect her on Earth. Sapphire knows she's going to killed. It's inevitable. She knows the future. She accepts her fate.
But one Ruby doesn't accept this as Gospel. Instead, she breaks everything everyone knows as truth as she runs towards Sapphire and merges with her, creating a new being, Garnet, a conglomerate of the two women. As Garnet, Ruby and Sapphire are Half-Vampire, Half-Lycan, but stronger than both!!!!!
Oh, wait. That's Underworld. Never mind.
But anyway, yeah. Strong and powerful and kickass.
People are shocked.
"How did this happen?"
"This is outrageous!"
"How dare they!"
The gems, shocked that two gems of a different type could fuse together, vow "You will be BROKEN for this!"
So Sapphire grabs Ruby's hand to help her escape from the bloodthirsty mob bent on murdering queer people.
They get to know each other and fall in love exploring the messy, complicated planet of Earth together.
Tons of cute things happen. I mean, besides the adorableness I've already listed. Ruby carries Sapphire to a cave for shelter. They hold hands. They watch the stars sprawled out on the grass together. They dance in the moonlight.
And why not, when no one was watching?
OMG, I'm dying here. This book is so amazing.
Sugar isn't putting mouth kissing in here, but she isn't fucking around either. SHE'S NOT FUCKING AROUND.
ANYWAY. That's my two cents. I have an overwhelming urge to start randomly buying this and handing it out. LOL
Tl;dr - LESBIAN FICTION FOR CHILDREN. So important. The future is now. Triumph not only for queer people, but for all of humanity.
Also recommended: Sailor Moon, Japanese version. Teach your child to love and appreciate subtitles, LOL. Older audience for the Bishoujo Senshi, obvio....more
George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.
I am not the target audienGeorge and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.
I am not the target audience for this book. However, much like Goosebumps, I cannot help but have a lot of gratitude for a series which got so many kids reading.
Harold and George are a couple of Ohioan pranksters who write, illustrate, distribute and sell homemade comic books called "The Amazing Captain Underpants" about a superhero in his skivvies who fights crime and monsters.
Mr. Krupp, the school principal and is the boys' enemy. He is not merely a put-upon principal struggling to control two misbehaving boys, but he is genuinely a bad person. For instance, when he gets proof of the boys' misdeeds on tape, he blackmails them into becoming his personal slaves - making them wash his car, clip his fingernails and paint his house.
The boys, chaffing under this treatment, decide to hypnotize Krupp using a mail-order hypno-ring.
They use the ring to hypnotize Krupp into believing he's Captain Underpants, and the rest is history. ...
Although this book is aimed at young children, there is some great humor in it for any adults who may be called upon to read it aloud.
For instance, the boys attend Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. Jerome Horwitz is the man who played Curly in the Three Stooges.
Other scenes play out to both kid and adult humor, like when
"Mommy," said a little boy sitting on a bench, "I just saw two robots driving a van with a guy in his underwear hanging off the back by a red cape, pulling two boys on a skateboard behind him with his feet."
"How do you expect me to believe such a ridiculous story?" asked his mother.
This is funny because his mother is reading the "Tabloid Times" with a headline of "Bigfoot Gives Birth to a 200 Pound UFO Baby."
Or when a sign on the police station reads:
POLICE STATION
Back in 15 minutes
Please don't commit any crimes 'till we return.
Thank you.
So it's not all poop jokes and diaper jokes, is what I'm saying.
Tl;dr - Not as bad as you are anticipating. Birthed a lot of readers. Also contains humor adults will find funny....more
I found this in the children's section for some reason.
So, in the introduction they explain that this collection has NOTHING to do with Civil War, it'I found this in the children's section for some reason.
So, in the introduction they explain that this collection has NOTHING to do with Civil War, it's merely an attempt to give background on the major players. People are going to fork over their hard-earned money for this, under false pretenses.
Marvel Universe Avengers Assemble Season 2 #4 Sam, The Falcon, wants Captain America to be his mentor:
FALCON: "I know this sounds CRAZY because we're ALREADY on a team together... but I can learn SO MUCH working with you. Since we go on so many missions together, maybe, I dunno, we can make a team within a team. You can be my MENTOR!"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm sorry."
Awwwww, rejection! :(
Red Skull, who appears to be out of his mind for some reason, cosmic rays blahdeblah, gets stolen from Avengers custody by Bucky Barnes. Bucky whines a lot and argues with Captain America a lot. All the Avengers make bad jokes.
IRON MAN: "The Avenjet! It could be HAWKEYE making another late-night run to CRAZY TACO - but just in case it ISN'T - it's a good thing our visitor didn't take my ARMOR offline! Yow! If it IS Hawkeye, I guess asking him to bring me back a burrito is out of the question."
Hulk seems strangely verbal.
HULK: "What are we waiting for? Let's smash!"
I guess I'm used to him being more grunt-y.
Marvel Universe Avengers Assemble Season 2 #6 Iron Man gets an infinity stone in his reactor. This causes him to revert to boyhood. Also, pteranodons are here, Black Widow punches one in the face.
Thor is a little cutie:
THOR: "Why don't you reboot? When your armor is having difficulty, you proclaim, "Reboot!"
Hulk is very chatty and coherent, which I find strange. But even stranger is Captain America comforting a frightened little Tony, calling him son, and Tony-child flinging himself into Cap's arms. Tony makes an “Iron Kid” suit... in about 10 minutes apparently >.< and the comic closes with Captain America giving adult Stark a chance to play with and train with Cap's shield. Cute.
Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes #1 This is a very short little comic in which Hawkeye and Black Panther bicker like children while fighting Whiplash. Neither one is impressing me.
BLACK PANTHER: "Hulk, the MADBOMB transmits waves of sonic hatred and insanity. Atop the Empire State Building, it will spread mindless violence throughout the city!"
HULK: "What's so BAD about mindless violence, Panther? If we just SMASHED the stupid building, we'd be DONE by now."
BLACK PANTHER: "This building is a historic LANDMARK, we cannot simply SMASH it."
HULK: "I hate historic landmarks."
Hulk and Black Panther are going to destroy a Madbomb. They bicker like little children. Black Panther tells Hulk he didn't really want to work with him... you know, for the sake of HONESTY. He comes off as such an asshole here.
Marvel Universe Avengers Assemble #3 Falcon is the “noob” in the Avengers and doesn't even have a bedroom. Hulk kicks him out when Falcon starts examining his glass animal collection. I've determined Captain America is very fond of calling everyone “son” all the time. Because he's old? I guess? o.O
Falcon's mom bakes cookies and he takes them to the meeting. They are a huge hit with everyone.
The 'plot' of this comic, besides Sam's 'newbie' status, is wraiths coming in and invading from another dimension. They lock all the Avengers up in the dark dimension, leaving only Sam to save the day. And I'm COMPLETELY unconvinced that Sam saves the day. I mean, he does, but I'm dubious. Very skeptical. The wraiths beat ALL OF THE AVENGERS, and somehow Sam throws them for a loop? Not buying it. But the point of the whole comic is that Sam gets accepted as one of the Avengers.
Marvel Universe Avengers Assemble #11
In an extremely convoluted storyline, all the Avengers minus Black Widow have turned into Hulks. Just seconds after Black Widow has been ordered by Fury to find a Hulk plan to eliminate Hulk if he ever goes postal. Poor Hulk.
There's not much to say about this one, although Widow and Hulk have a cute little friendship.
Marvel Universe Avengers Assemble #13
This is a pretty boring story about how the Avengers argue too much, and when the Avengers enemies try and team up to take out the Avengers, they argue too much to take the Avengers down successfully.
These Avengers Assemble comics are pretty dark.
I thought you said this was filed in the children's section.
No, I mean they are very dark to look at and need to be read in full light. It's annoying.
Tl;dr - Ummmmm. I feel they are trying to trick people curious about Civil War into buying this. What you get instead is a mish-mash of goofy comics
All comics are goofy, Carmen.
Okay, but they seemed exceptionally goofy. The Avengers Assemble volumes were extremely dark, I had to sit right under a lamp to see what was going on. I'm going to say 2 out of 5. I'm not very happy....more
Actually, this was cute and well done. Rhodey, Captain Marvel, Black Panther, the Uncanny Inhumans, Ms. America, She-Hulk, Blue Marvel, etc. etc. HumaActually, this was cute and well done. Rhodey, Captain Marvel, Black Panther, the Uncanny Inhumans, Ms. America, She-Hulk, Blue Marvel, etc. etc. Human Torch... they all star in this.
What is great about these Marvel superhero teams is the cute banter and great interpersonal relationships. Captain Marvel and Rhodey mack, Black Panther turns around to give them some privacy and jokes about throwing up in his mask. LOL And Rhodey and Captain Marvel are cute together. The art is stunning and
I'm LOVING all the females Marvel is throwing at me. THROWING. AT ME. It seems every single one of their heroes has a female version now, AND IT'S GLORIOUS. Benefits everyone. Women get to kick ass and be awesome, men get to have more kickass babes in comics, and kids get to grow up seeing women be awesome fighter heroes! I love seeing She-Hulk and Captain Marvel take bad guys down! I love seeing Wolverine get beaten to the punch (literally) by Ms. Marvel. FUCKING A.
Is DC going to catch up on this? Unclear. They certainly pale in relation to Marvel in many respects, and after that horrible Batman v Superman film, it's not looking good... Captain America: Civil War blew that shit out of the water.
This comic also includes a teaser for The Wasp, another female badass who has studied Pym's technology and is now wrecking havoc on villains. :D
SOLDIER: "Now DIE LIKE THE REST!" *blasts Rom* ROM: "Nngh!" ROM: "P-painful, but... a pain I can endure, wraith. Can YOU say the same when my neutralizerSOLDIER: "Now DIE LIKE THE REST!" *blasts Rom* ROM: "Nngh!" ROM: "P-painful, but... a pain I can endure, wraith. Can YOU say the same when my neutralizer sings?"
LOL Oh gosh. Who wrote this?
Rom is a giant robot who has come to save Earth from an alien invasion of "Dire Wraiths."
Ummmmmmmmmmm.... extremely cheesy.
Then we get an Action Man preview, and boy, the cheesy doesn't stop.
MAN: "And Action Man... He's all he's cracked up to be?"
WOMAN: "A master of all forms of fighting, communication, and disguise. He's a tenth-level judo blackbelt, member of MENSA, and a three-star Michelin chef. He's saved the earth more times than I care to consider.... I genuinely don't know what the planet would do without him."
Come ON. Are you kidding me with this shit? Get it together. o.O
Tl;dr - I can't recommend either of them based on these previews. The art is decent, though....more
Bruce Lee is brought back from the dead (1973) into modern-day (2012). This leads to lots of lame jokes like, "Why are you talking iI found this lame.
Bruce Lee is brought back from the dead (1973) into modern-day (2012). This leads to lots of lame jokes like, "Why are you talking into a transistor radio?" (cell phone) and Bruce telling a goth girl that he's sorry for her loss.
They're obviously going for humor here, but it's falling flat.
Bad guys want Lee back, Lee befriends two children (a sister/brother pair) in karate class, and he reunites with his old friend Joe Toomey who now works at Walmart.
Sorry, this just wasn't doing anything for me. I fail to see what's funny or interesting about this....more
STORM: "How can you QUESTION my feelings for you?"
FORGE: "Not quite, 'OF COURSE, I love you, Forge!" But you're admitting you HAVE feelings - I guess STORM: "How can you QUESTION my feelings for you?"
FORGE: "Not quite, 'OF COURSE, I love you, Forge!" But you're admitting you HAVE feelings - I guess that's as good a PLACE to start as any. I'm SORRY. That was UNCALLED for."
STORM: "But true."
FORGE: "Don't you understand - it doesn't have to BE that way! Let the rest of the world see you as the UNREACHABLE, UNTOUCHABLE "GODDESS"... I KNOW better. I've seen the WOMAN inside the WARRIOR."
STORM: "So you SAY. The truth is, I do not know what is "inside" me any more."
FORGE: "Let me PROVE it to you."
STORM: "What... are you saying?"
CARMEN: o.O
FORGE: "I'm saying, let me take you AWAY from this... "LIFE" as an X-Man."
STORM: "Away?"
FORGE: "For years I've seen your COURAGE in saving the world. I've seen your STRENGTH prop up the others. Tell me, Wind Rider - are you BRAVE enough, strong enough, to take a CHANCE on YOURSELF?"
*He touches her lips with his icky gloved hands and he also has a really icky mustache, BTW* *Awkward kissing*
FORGE: "I realize this is SUDDEN - and don't feel you have to answer RIGHT AWAY, but, ORORO, will you... MARRY me?"
Oh, gosh. Why would you watch soap operas when you have these overly dramatic sadsacks around to have conversations like this!?!!?!?
Besides the hideous and disturbing romance between Forge and Storm, I don't understand ANYTHING about what is happening between Storm and Bishop. Drake and Opal are having an unfortunate date where she meets his asshole racist and mutantist parents. His father thinks it's immoral for Drake to date an Asian woman. Immoral. WTF?
Hiro is spying on those asshole parents, when he's approached by a cop.
COP: "Let me guess - you're one of them crazy TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA FANS? Right?"
HIRO: "No. Put the gun away. NOW."
COP: "Save your line of MACHO for the BOYS at the DOJO. In case you didn't NOTICE - YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"
Hiro starts beating the shit out of the cop.
HIRO: "I'm sure you believe that. But an arrest at this time would only COMPLICATE matters."
Meanwhile, Mystique tries to "help" Angel with his depression by shapeshifting and fucking with his mind a lot. Stellar idea. /s Storm comes to his rescue, saying "To the best of my knowledge, Mystique, of the FEW SKILLS you DO possess - murdering, stealing, and impersonating others to name a FEW... a degree in PSYCHOLOGY is NOT among them!"
In short, all the X-Men fight and bicker like children.
At the end, Drake and Opal's dinner with his asshole parents is interrupted by some psycho ninjas trying to kill his asshole parents. For some reason.
Tl;dr - A hot mess. The art is also extremely weird and awkward. Everyone, men and women, looks like a bodybuilder....more
This book starts off with a long introduction explaining how humans and aliens collided. Blah, blah blah, long story short some monoliths that were leThis book starts off with a long introduction explaining how humans and aliens collided. Blah, blah blah, long story short some monoliths that were left on Earth start opening up and attacking.
Captain Raaker is brought in to discover why only one monolith didn't shed into non-bio AIs. His little daughter Zoe begs him to come home, but he tells her that he can't.
(view spoiler)[His driver is murdered by the alien AI and Raaker sees a vision of the Scion telling him that her name is Ketheria and that he should come find her.
She is on the Black Market Trading Post on the Mountainous Planet of Nebalt. Bad guys are looking for her, but she can show them pretty-prettiness and kill them with it or bend it to her will. After she makes Hashen turn all blue and sparkly and pretty, he collapses on the ground.
KETHERIA: "Rise, Hashen." HASHEN: "I understand now. I am yours to command." KETHERIA: "You are going to help me defeat the Knull." HASHEN: "The Knull?" KETHERIA: "Yes." HASHEN: "Some darkness cannot be illuminated... unless you are a god." KETHERIA: "We will need an army of gods."
This book starts off with a long introduction explaining how humans and aliens collided. Blah, blah blah, long story short some monoliths that were leThis book starts off with a long introduction explaining how humans and aliens collided. Blah, blah blah, long story short some monoliths that were left on Earth start opening up and attacking.
Captain Raaker is brought in to discover why only one monolith didn't shed into non-bio AIs. His little daughter Zoe begs him to come home, but he tells her that he can't.
(view spoiler)[His driver is murdered by the alien AI and Raaker sees a vision of the Scion telling him that her name is Ketheria and that he should come find her.
She is on the Black Market Trading Post on the Mountainous Planet of Nebalt. Bad guys are looking for her, but she can show them pretty-prettiness and kill them with it or bend it to her will. After she makes Hashen turn all blue and sparkly and pretty, he collapses on the ground.
KETHERIA: "Rise, Hashen." HASHEN: "I understand now. I am yours to command." KETHERIA: "You are going to help me defeat the Knull." HASHEN: "The Knull?" KETHERIA: "Yes." HASHEN: "Some darkness cannot be illuminated... unless you are a god." KETHERIA: "We will need an army of gods."
The thing about the first months of pregnancy is that they're almost incapacitating. You incapacitated me - like a vampire. I'm not exaggerating. I feThe thing about the first months of pregnancy is that they're almost incapacitating. You incapacitated me - like a vampire. I'm not exaggerating. I felt as limp as if I'd lost blood. Even the smallest errands exhausted me. I feel no animosity toward you now, my little parasite, but really, truly, it was as if you planned it, this tactic.
I remember one night I dreamed you were scratching me, clawing your way out through my abdomen, and eating my innards on your way. I turned over onto my stomach and went back to sleep. Yes, I dreamt that. I'm not going to lie to you. People pretend otherwise, but motherhood is scary shit, girl.
This book has an AMAZING premise.
A rabies-like virus that only affects blonde females. WOW. What an amazing premise for a book. Sounds awesome! Think about the possibilities you could have with this. This could be a top-notch, A1 horror novel.
The whole story is told by the pregnant MC, Hazel, to her unborn girl-child. She got pregnant with her womanizing, loser, married professor.
^^None of this is a spoiler, it's chapter one.
ANYWAY. You wouldn't think Schultz could fuck up an absolutely golden opportunity like this. But she does. She fucks it up so badly.
Donna (my friend) and I both think that books (and movies, and tv shows) with an amazing premise and a lot of promise are more disappointing and painful than ones that just start out as duds and finish as duds.
"SCIENCE" THAT EVEN A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WOULD HAVE PROBLEMS BELIEVING Want to know the main reason this book fails spectacularly?!?!!? It happens at 24%. SPOILER:(view spoiler)[
I listened without moving as Amanda explained, "The Blonde Fury can affect women of all cultures - with both natural blonde hair and hair that has been stripped blonde or salon-created."(hide spoiler)] THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. Please! I don't need Michael Crichton-levels of science-explaining, okay, but you HAVE to try harder than this shit. I mean, NO. For fuck's sake, no disease is going to work that way!
SLOPPY AS HELL Okay, besides that HUGE, GLARING dum-dum fucking up of the plot for which I cannot forgive Schultz, (oh, also on the 'beyond stupid' level, apparently (view spoiler)[if you shave your head/body hair you will not contract the disease. Even though it's spread by blood/saliva/bodily fluids. (hide spoiler)]) Beyond stupid. Oh. Anyway, as I was saying, BESIDES that, we have some truly horrible writing in here. Sometimes I can't understand what idea Schultz is trying to communicate to me.
Take this paragraph, for instance:
First, Hazel is talking about what a mistake it was to sleep with Loser. After all, he's married, and cheating on his wife with Hazel. "Once a cheater, always a cheater," Hazel thinks to herself. Moreover, he did something very distasteful which I will not disclose here, but let's just say it makes Hazel see him in a new light: a bad light - she discusses this.
Then, we get this:
I remember there was one other time my feelings toward Karl had irrevocably changed: we were buying cheese in St. Lawrence Market in preparation for our weekend at this cottage. He purchased the same kind twice, from two different stands, because, he said, the second one was better. When I told him he'd already bought that kind and why not a nice havarti or Edam, he insisted there was no comparison. I remember thinking, Oh, so that's who you are. I wasn't going to stop flirting with him over a block of cheese, of course, but the exchange niggled at me for months.
I can't understand what on earth is going on in this paragraph. He's an idiot who doesn't understand he's buying the same cheese twice? He feels he has to buy the same cheese from different people? What does she mean when she says, knowingly, 'so that's who you are.'? What on Earth does that even mean? What's she getting at here?
My friends and I discussed it at length, and we came up with different theories. - He wastes his time and money? - He's close-minded and obsessive? - He keeps the best cheese for himself and gives the subpar cheese to 'company?' - He buys the same type of cheese, over and over, in slightly different qualities? The way he fucks women over and over who remind him in some way of his wife?!!?!? OH, booyah, snap! That was a burn!
Why on earth am I wasting so much time trying to figure out what this poorly written paragraph is supposed to mean?!!?!
She also has terrible sentences, like:
It was The Blondes. And that's what we called them after that day, as if their violence had instantly had resulted in a new social class.
Is there an extra "had" in there or is it just me? Fucking sloppy as hell.
SADLY, SHE'S ACTUALLY A GOOD WRITER And the horrible thing is, SCHULTZ IS A GOOD WRITER. She is capable of writing beautiful and smart passages that really hit home, whether she's just describing the environment
It's dark now, the kind of dark where there's nothing, where the world could cease to exist on the other side of that hill and you wouldn't even know it. It was only half an hour ago that the sky was holding the light among the branches, like water cupped between fingers and palms. Now it's so black out there, even the memory of light feels distant. You can hear the silence. It's like the sound of your own blood.
or when she's trying to explain to the reader why Hazel decided to sleep with this sadsack loser piece of shit
There was something really dirty about crossing all the lines. I'd been alone most of my life; you would think I wouldn't need to have a secret. When you're alone, your whole life is a secret, isn't it?... I wanted to be wanted, even in a cheap way.
or when she talks about when her best friend Larissa changes from a wild teenager to an adult who keeps a "life journal" with goals and tabs and lists
Later Larissa told me everything that she and Derek had done in detail. She said Derek totally wasn't worth it. She was wild. She would have laughed if I'd told her she would one day keep a Full Life Diary. Larissa didn't need a diary then. She went after the whole experience, the full life, and I kept her secrets for her.
or when she talks about sleeping with a married man
You know there are things you can never say to the other person in an e-mail because someone else may find it. You know you can talk on the phone, but only during certain hours of certain days. And even then, your number is there, multiple times, in the phone's memory if anyone were to check. The more you and the other person communicate, the more likely you are to be caught. You have memorized the schedule of a person you don't even know (your lover's partner) and certainly don't like. Every time you touch the person you're involved with, you wonder if it will be the last time. There's a finality to everything you do together. Everything is a first and a potential last. You may do it again, but the kernel of doubt means you've already been jettisoned, become disconnected. I knew this the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sure, let's count the hand job in his car and say sixth time with Karl.
But knowing it also excited me.
So... this is even worse. The fact that Schultz is capable of greatness, and her excellent writing and her intelligence peek out at you occasionally from these pages between fuck-ups. It's even worse than if the book was a straight out loser, because you can see glimpses of what this book COULD have been. Not even 'in more capable hands,' but in Schultz's own hands, perhaps 10 years from when it was published and she sharpened herself more. It's sad, it's a wasted opportunity and a tragedy.
BABY NICKNAMES One of the funny things in the book that adds a unique flavor is all the nicknames Hazel gives to her unborn baby girl: You, strange small thing My little barnacle My new roommate My little water bug My little kangaroo My little remora My little amoeba My little hamster in a wheel My little fetal syndrome My little parasite My little cub Little One My little grub My little hatchling My little goiter Little pasta pot My little womb-raider
I found this way she talked to her unborn daughter interesting and a good unique addition by Schultz.
FEMINISM Obviously this book is ripe for feminist messages. The problem is that Schultz is not subtle at all with this. She is clumsy and heavy-handed, with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. She doesn't know when to stop and she doesn't know how to handle things slowly, delicately, so that they can jump out and surprise and sicken you like horror should.
Instead, she just dumps all this brutal feminist messaging on you with zero nuance. From anti-abortionists getting eating by a 17yo born-again Christian blonde, to women getting put in concentration camps, to 'menstrual blood and its resulting garbage is toxic waste now - as in, men in hazmat suits come to dispose of tampons and pads', to 'any women who show a negative expression, frowning, temper or panic attacks will be tasered' to forcing women to strip and do 'pubic hair checks' to make sure they aren't 'blonde' (although the whole pseudo-fuck-scientific "explanation" for this disease is BULLSHIT)... I could go on and on. But to sum it up, she hits you over the head with a baseball bat she labels "feminism" on every page. It's soul-crushing and mind-numbing and completely defeating her purpose. If she'd actually shown some nuance and restraint, this could have been a bang-on, exciting, and relevant feminist text AND an amazing horror novel, but alas. :(
As it stands, the book is bursting open with every single feminist issue under the sun, stuffed and overflowing. It's not a good look. Instead of choosing 2 or 3 feminist issues and writing the hell out of them, she chooses to try and do 30 and give each only a passing glance.
SHE SPOILS OTHER BOOKS FOR YOU There's another terrible thing Schultz does that I feel I must warn you about. She, blatantly and with no warning, completely spoils nine movies/books that have to do with adulterous affairs for you. NINE. Just completely goes around on page 84 blissfully ruining plot after plot for you. It's page 84 in the American hardback. I am warning you, SKIP THIS PAGE. It's doubtful you will have watched/read all nine works, and once you read her spoilers you can never go back. I'm sure she thinks these books/movies are "classics" that everyone has seen, but I'm pretty well read and she spoiled at least two or three for me, so this is a WARNING. For those of you who don't have a hardback American copy, it's in the middle of Chapter 4, FYI.
WOMEN-ON-WOMEN HATE
Emily Schultz is a big believer in women-on-women hate. It's very popular lately, and it's the theory that women hate each other and want to tear each other down. Hazel sees a m/f couple fighting and immediately and inexplicably takes the man's side. These are absolute strangers. She knows nothing of the argument
He looked at me, and I looked back, apologetic for women the world over.
The opening paragraph of the book is a bunch of women-hate-women bullshit.
Women have stupid dreams. We laud each other only to tear each other down. We are not like men; men shake hands with hate between them all the time and have public arguments that are an obvious jostling for power and position. They compete for dominance - if not over money, then over mating. They know this, each and every one. But women are civilized animals. We have something to prove, too, but we'll swirl our anger with straws in the bottom of our drinks and suck it up, leaving behind a lipstick stain. We'll comment on your hair or your dress only to land a backhanded compliment, make you feel pathetic or poor, or too fat or too thing, too young or too old, unsophisticated, unqualified, unwanted. For women power comes by subtle degrees.
UGH.
Her best friend gives her a picture of the two of them. Instead of seeing this as a sweet gesture,
I've always wondered why people who love you do that to you - give you photographs where they look beautiful, you not so much.
WTF?
Then Hazel describes a horrific, bloody attack in an airport in which 6 rabid blonde flight attendants murder a lot of people. And in the middle of this, she throws in:
You see, I'm not telling this right. It sounds comical, even to me. Part of the difficulty has to do with the fact that they WERE very beautiful women.
*Carmen is dumbfounded* Listen, I don't know how many of you have actually been in a life-threatening situation, but let me tell you that you are NOT sitting/standing/lying there going, "wow, these killers/rapists/terrorists are SO GOOD-LOOKING, it's hard for me to believe these GOOD LOOKING MURDERERS are killing people right in front of me." I mean, NO. WTF is wrong with you? NO. Women are running around bloody and killing and on a rampage, and you're like, "Oh, they look like models." I was seriously screaming in disbelief at this part.
When Hazel ends up in a (view spoiler)[concentration camp for women (hide spoiler)] after the outbreak, women are kind to her. She says,
I don't believe there is a bond between all women. I don't believe that sisterhood is powerful. I believe just the opposite.
No, the only reason these women are kind to her - she tells us - is because they are bored. BORED. Women are only kind to one another when they are (view spoiler)[in isolation from men (hide spoiler)] and bored. I mean, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT?!!?!?
I have to take a deep breath and calm down here, because Hazel DOES actually have one or two female friends in this book, and it's important for me to remember that so I don't have a heart attack. Her best friend whom she met when she was 16 (Larissa) and also a woman she meets when she first finds out that she's pregnant (Moira) are actually good friends of hers and I need to remember that Schultz has a few positive female characters in here as well. Breathe, Carmen.
I have no idea why these novels that purport women are backstabbing bitches who hate each other as if it's an absolute truth are so popular now. I just don't get it. We have enough problems without trying to promote this idea of women-hate-women. It's sick and also false.
Women aren't all a bed of roses and rainbows, but this kind of hatred towards other females is not true either, and I see it being touted as fact EVERYWHERE now. It's sick.
TL;DR
Well. This could have been an amazing, blow-you-out-of-the-water horror book with dark feminist undertones that unnerved you and made you see the world in a new way.
But nope! Nope. Schultz is heavy-handed, forceful and nonsensical where she should have been subtle, insidious, and smart. It's not as if she can't craft good prose - she writes wonderful paragraphs in here. And it's not as if she can't form good feminist ideas... it's just that instead of weaving those ideas naturally into the storyline she instead chooses to bludgeon you over the head with them. It's unpleasant, and I say that as a reader who is a huge feminist.
It's sad to get excited about an amazing book concept like this and be so disappointed. I wish desperately that the book was stronger and I could recommend it to you, but I just can't.
At that moment, though, I realized my true label: wholly and undeniably pregnant.
How can I say this? And yet I'm saying it - the thought of a fetus inside me clung to my mind like a brown swimming leech, which was probably about the size of you then. I thought about my body breaking open and tearing down, and something screaming and bloody the size of a football emerging, and I fell to my knees - yes, fell - and vomited into the toilet. I had just peed into it, and the smell of urine combined with regurgitated breakfast made me heave again, but this time nothing came up. I tapped the handle and flushed it all down....more
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