“You can’t give away something you do not have. And most of the time I have these nagging thoughts: I’m not enough, I don’t matter, I’m too needy. The
“You can’t give away something you do not have. And most of the time I have these nagging thoughts: I’m not enough, I don’t matter, I’m too needy. These thoughts make me uncomfortable. I need love, but I don’t trust it. If I drop my game, my Chandler, and show you who I really am, you might notice me, but worse, you might notice me and leave me. And I can’t have that. I won’t survive that. Not anymore. It will turn me into a speck of dust and annihilate me.”
[image]
I’ve watched Friends three times. So, I can surely say that it’s my favorite show/sitcom. It’s weird how I always feel excited whenever I hear the show’s theme song before each episode. Even though I know what’s going to happen and I’m familiar with all the jokes. I daresay that I can even repeat the best ones out loud and from memory alone. It’s the homeliest show ever. And I’ve watched other sitcoms from first episode to last, like The Big Bang Theory. It doesn’t match up to the coziness of the Friends.
It came as a surprise to me how affected I was when I heard of Matthew Perry’s death. After seeing the wonderful and sad reactions on social media, I turned to Amazon and ordered his memoir.
“Accordingly, I learned to be funny (pratfalls, quick one-liners, you know the drill) because I had to be—my mother was stressed by her stressful job, and already highly emotional (and abandoned), and me being funny tended to calm her down enough that she would cook some food, sit down at the dinner table with me, and hear me out, after I hear her out, of course.”
At the age of fifty-two, Perry evinces the self-awareness and understanding of how and why he became the person he was. He tells us about the many failed relationships with women, his self-sabotaging tendencies and the reason behind them, how he became our beloved Chandler, his childhood trauma and relationship with parents, his friends and how he got to audition for Friends (by some luck it seems as his real friend Craig Bierko was offered an audition before him).
Perry’s writing is funny and candid—tired at times and curious and hopeful. I especially like how he refers to addiction and being an addict as “the big terrible thing,” that which cannot be named, that slithering secret that wreaked havoc on his life because it was seldom disclosed, because he didn’t dare tell anybody. It was his Voldemort, and he carried the scars for us to see.
After Perry claimed triumph over drugs, alcohol and smoking, it’s tragic to know how he finally went partially due to effects of ketamine and partially because of drowning. His last wish was for a home—wife and kids. That’s how the most open (and psychologically developed by the tenth season) and lovable character left us in the end.
Rest in peace, Matthew Perry/Chandler Bing/Ms. Chanadler Bong.
على غير المتوقع، لم يرق لي أسلوب العقاد في هذا الكتاب، إذ وجدت أنه يغلب عليه التجريد والاستطراد الأدبي البلاغي في اختيار الكلمات والجمل. فشعرت ببعد العلى غير المتوقع، لم يرق لي أسلوب العقاد في هذا الكتاب، إذ وجدت أنه يغلب عليه التجريد والاستطراد الأدبي البلاغي في اختيار الكلمات والجمل. فشعرت ببعد المسافة بيني كقارئ وشخص المسيح، فهو كالسحابة أو الهالة المقدسة التي من الصعب أن نطالها. وهذا هو الانطباع الذي يلوح لي الآن بعد أن أنهيت معاناتي مع هذا الكتاب. لا أقول هنا أن الكتاب يبتعد عن المفيد كليا. الفائدة موجودة ولكن في إطار لغة صعبة وتجريد يبتعد كل البعد عن أسلوب القَصَص البديع. نستطيع القول هنا أن اسم العقاد تغلّب عليه فعقّد كتابته عن النبي عيسى عليه السلام. والنتيجة هي أنني تحاملت على نفسي أثناء القراءة بلا تركيز لكي أنتهي على عجل. ...more
"إنما الكتاب تقدير «لعبقرية محمد» بالمقدار الذي يدين به كل إنسان، ولا يدين به المسلم وكفى، وبالحق الذي يثبت له الحب في قلب كل إنسان، وليس في قلب كل مس"إنما الكتاب تقدير «لعبقرية محمد» بالمقدار الذي يدين به كل إنسان، ولا يدين به المسلم وكفى، وبالحق الذي يثبت له الحب في قلب كل إنسان، وليس في قلب كل مسلم وكفى. فمحمد هنا عظيم؛ لأنه قدوة المقتدين في المناقب التي يتمناها المخلصون لجميع الناس."
"وحسبنا من كتابنا هذا أن يكون بَنَانًا تومِئ إلى تلك العظمة في آفاقها، فإن البَنانَ لأقدر على الإشارة من الباع على الإحاطة، وأفضل من عجز المحيط طاقة المشير."
يتحدث العقاد في كتابه عن العبقرية الإنسانية للرسول محمد ﷺ، إذ يبدأ بسردٍ لأبرز صفاته قبل البعثة، ثم يختار مقتطفات معبّرة من حياته كقائد عسكري وإداري وسياسي وزوج وأب وسيّد وأخيرا عابد. يتناول العقاد هذه الجوانب تباعاً ليظهر لنا عبقرية الإنسان الكامنة خلف الهالة الدينية التي ينظر معظم الناس من خلالها تجاه سيّد الإسلام.
مزيّة العقاد الخالصة في الكتابة هي بلاغة وفصاحة التعبير، وهذا هو الأسلوب الأدبي بأفضل حلّة. ولكن أعيب عليه كثرة الاستدلال بالأحاديث الضعيفة وإحجامه عن التفصيل في الكثير من المواضع. من الواضح أن جُلّ اهتمام العقاد كان منصبا على إنارة جميع جوانب العبقرية المحمدية بصورة مقتضبة ويسيرة، تناكف بالحُجّة ما جاء به بعض المعرضين والمشككين في سيرة الرسول ﷺ.
بالطبع أنصح بقراءة هذا الكتاب لكل من هو مهتم في الاطّلاع على كتاب يتناول السيرة المحمدية بصورة مختلفة عن أسلوب الحديث والنقل المتعارف عليه في معظم كتب السيرة....more
“You must cultivate either your own ruling faculty or externals, and apply yourself either to things within or without you; that is, be either a philo“You must cultivate either your own ruling faculty or externals, and apply yourself either to things within or without you; that is, be either a philosopher, or one of the vulgar.”
Written at 125 AD, The Manual is a set of rules and reminders at the core of which lies the powerful stoic dictum that you should only focus on what is under your control. This marks the fine line between feeling powerful and feeling powerless. Another stoic advice is that it is never the thing itself that disturbs you, it is your judgment and opinion of it. Another one is the very well-known idea of amor fati, to simply love and embrace what happens....more
In this book, Rene Descartes presents a reader-friendly introduction that includes an intellectual biography, a provisional moral code, an epistemologIn this book, Rene Descartes presents a reader-friendly introduction that includes an intellectual biography, a provisional moral code, an epistemological method of reasoning and conducting experiments, and a medicinal description of the workings of the human body. Below I have written summaries on what I think are the most important parts:
Part One A Biographical Account
Here we have a biographical account of Descartes's teaching and learning experience. He started in traditional schools, or what he deems as the best schools of the time. There he spent much of his time reading, which he likens to traveling into the past and discoursing with the greatest minds. He expresses his opinion of the multiple subjects he studied: mathematics, philosophy and theology.
After being freed from his teachers, Descartes decided to leave his country and his books. He wanted to rely on accumulating as much experience as possible, using his reason throughout the journey. He writes that utilizing one's reason when one knows that there could be dire consequences as a result is much more fruitful and informative than using reason while secluded in one's study with only the company of books.
Descartes talks about how reading about different cultures can be very helpful in coming up with accurate judgments of one's own. But he warns against indulging too much in reading, i.e. traveling, that one becomes a stranger in one's country.
Part Two Epistemology and His Method
In this part, Descartes presents the precepts of his philosophy, a summary of his method for conducting one's reason:
- Accept only as true those statements and thoughts you incontrovertibly, clearly and distinctly know to be true. - Analyze the thought or the problem to its constituent parts—to the fundamental truths (first principles thinking). - Start from the simplest idea to the complex. In other words, impose order on your thinking. - Enumerate the process of reasoning.
Part Three Ethics
In this part, Descartes lays out the provisional moral code he established for himself while traveling and working on cultivating his reason and ability for making sound judgments.
First, Descartes writes that he should obey the laws and customs of the state, in addition to a firm belief and abidance by the laws of God and religion.
Second, Descartes vows to take every action and endeavor firmly and resolutely and without hesitation—to be firm and resolute in all of his undertakings.
Third, Descartes vows to focus on mastering himself, believing that one has no control over external things except his own thoughts. He thinks that this will prevent him from desiring things he has no control over, things beyond his power of accomplishing. The result is very similar to the idea of amor fati propagated by the stoic philosophers. This third rule echoes Marcus Aurelius’ pronouncement that one should only focus on self-mastery, especially mastery over the body and impulsive pleasure seeking.
Fourth, Descartes sets out to review the various occupations men have in life in order to judge which is best for himself. The path he has eventually chosen is more than obvious: to exercise and develop his faculty of judgment.
Part Four Philosophy and Metaphysics
In part four, Descartes delineates how he came up with the first principle in his philosophy: "I think, therefore I exist." He explains that he was meditating on the idea that he should treat every thought he has as an illusion. This is based on the premise that these same thoughts can occur in his dreams. Descartes was then left with contemplating the meaning behind the occurrence of these thoughts, which lead him to the conclusion that such stream of thinking, even if false, exemplifies one clear and distinct truth: the fact that he exists.
Descartes then goes on to explain how he can prove the existence of God using only his reason. He argues that perfect thoughts can only emanate from a perfect being, and that the fact that a lot of imperfect thoughts come to him is due to the reason that he is not perfect himself. This dichotomy evidences the presence of a superior Being called God. This is how I understood his reasoning at least.
One final thought is Descartes insistence that one can never trust the senses and the imagination without diligent recourse to reason.
“It is clear from many of the admonitions that this self is divided and that the higher rational self confronts a weaker self that has slipped into at“It is clear from many of the admonitions that this self is divided and that the higher rational self confronts a weaker self that has slipped into attitudes that are unphilosophical and threaten his pursuit of virtue.”
I have found the introduction by Diskin Clay to be comprehensive, covering the most important “exhortations” Aurelius confronted himself with everyday. Below I am going to do the same, summarizing what I have found to be the most useful injunctions in the Meditations, which we can think of as Aurelius’s attempt at cultivating his own inner fortress, where introspection and self-judgment can safely unfold.
This book is the private journal of Marcus Aurelius, the last of the Five Good Emperors. Written between 170 and 180 AD, it includes his daily meditations and reminders, the things he wanted to keep in mind constantly. His most repeated ideas revolve around contemplating death, reminding himself of the sovereignty of Reason (what he calls the “directing mind”), the exhortation to refrain from mindless pleasure seeking, and most importantly, that the source of pain is never the circumstance, but our own judgment. Aurelius also makes a case for only doing things for the common good, which is understandable considering his duties as an emperor. Another important reminder is that one should always question and challenge his immediate judgments and impressions, which I think is the most important thing to take home from this book, in addition to the evident value of keeping a journal where you can review yourself every day.
I think we can all benefit from writing in the way Aurelius did, in order to check ourselves and make sure we are on the right path. It is clear that that was the reason behind his daily writing: to examine and remind himself of the proper way to live as a man and an emperor. We can really think of Aurelius as the pioneer of modern-day journaling, which is the most valuable tool on the path of self-development, speaking from my own experience.
I have found that the first entry in Book 12 aptly summarizes the spirit of Meditations:
“All that you pray to reach at some point in the circuit of your life can be yours now—if you are generous to yourself. That is, if you leave all the past behind, entrust the future to Providence, and direct the present solely to reverence and justice. To reverence, so that you come to love your given lot: it was Nature that brought it to you and you to it. To justice, so that you are open and direct in word and action, speaking the truth, observing law and proportion in all you do. You should let nothing stand in your way—not the iniquity of others, not what anyone else thinks or says, still less any sensation of this poor flesh that has accreted round you: the afflicted part must see to its own concern.”
These are two entries on the value of challenging your immediate thoughts and impressions:
“That all is as thinking makes it so—and you control your thinking. So remove your judgments whenever you wish and then there is calm—as the sailor rounding the cape finds smooth water and the welcome of a waveless bay.” (Book 12)
“Constantly test your mental impressions—each one individually, if you can: investigate the cause, identify the emotion, apply the analysis of logic.” (Book 8)
In Book 4, Aurelius reminds himself of the great teachings of stoicism, which I paraphrase here as a conclusion:
(1) Think in accordance with reason; (2) Act for the common good; (3) Tell the truth, do not deal in lies; (4) Amor Fati, accept what happens.
The Meditations is a favorite book of mine and I really recommend it to anyone who is interested in developing himself and growing as a person. ...more
هذا الكتاب مقسّم الى جزأين. الأول يخوض في غمار العلاقة بين اللغة و الطبيعة و الثقافة، و ذلك في محاولة لإكتشاف أيهما اكثر تأثيرا على اللغة. الجزء الثانهذا الكتاب مقسّم الى جزأين. الأول يخوض في غمار العلاقة بين اللغة و الطبيعة و الثقافة، و ذلك في محاولة لإكتشاف أيهما اكثر تأثيرا على اللغة. الجزء الثاني يتطرق الى الأشكال التي تؤثر فيها اللغة على التفكير.
يتحدث الجزء الأول عن علاقة اللغة مع الثقافة و الطبيعة، حيث يحتدم النقاش حول أيهما أكثر تأثيرا على اللغة. يبدأ الطرح بدراسة مطولة لتطور مفهومنا للألوان عبر العصور. ففي البداية، مالت الكفة لمصلحة الطبيعة، إذ اعتقد العلماء أن عمى الألوان كان الحالة الطبيعية السائدة قبل القرن العاشر ميلادي، مستندين على دراسات تختص بالكيفية التي ذُكرت فيها الألوان في كتب الإغريق القدامى و الكتب السماوية الثلاثة. تخلص هذه الدراسات الى أن اللونين الأبيض و الأسود كانا دارجين الى حد كبير، و أن الأزرق كان اللون الأكثــر ندرة في الإليادة و الأنجيل و حتى القرآن الكريم، حيث ذُكر الأزرق مرة واحدة و بمعنى مجازي فقط. استمر هذا الإعتقاد بقصور عين الإنسان إلى ان جاءت دراسات أكدت ان حاجة الإنسان لألفاظ ألوان مجردة عن مادة الطبيعة لم تظهر إلا بعد تطور صناعة المصبوغات. اذن في نهاية المطاف مالت الكفة لمصلحة الثقافة كمحرك أساسي للغة.
الجزء الثاني يتعلق بكيفية تأثير اللغة على التفكير. يبدأ هذا الجزء بطرح ان اللغة هي سجن يقيد التفكير و يتحكم به. فمثلا يقول بعض علماء اللغة ان نظام تصريف الحال في اللغة الألمانية ساهم في جعل فلسفة الألمان متمسكة جدا بالنظام و الإنضباط. و بما أن اللغة الإنجليزية تكونت عن طريق الإستعارة من الفرنسية و الألمانية و اللاتينية كان الإنجليز غير متمسكين بالنظام و تغلب عليهم الصبغة العفوية أكثر من الألمان. هذا الإدعاء بالطبع ليس صحيح ولسبب منطقي جدا، و هو أنه من الطبيعي أن تجد شخص واحد إنجليزي يتمتع بصفة الانضباط و الترتيب اكثر من بعض الألمان، و من المنطقي ايضا ان تجد شخص من ألمانيا أكثر عفوية و أقل تزمتا من بعض الإنجليز. فالصفات الشخصية و السمات النفسية لا يمكن ان نعزوها إلى اختلافات لغوية مجردة.
هذا الإفتراض بأن اللغة الأم تؤثر و تحد من تفكيرنا أُطلق عليه اسم النسبية اللغوية، و هي نتاج دراسات علماء اللغة ورف و سابير. يخلص الجزء الثاني الى ضرورة التخلي عن هذه فرضية لمصلحة مبدأ بواس و جاكوبسون الذي وصل الى حقيقة أن اللغات تختلف فقط فيما تجبرنا على الإفصاح عنه. خير مثال على ذلك هو أن نقول في الإنجليزية: "امضيت ليلة الأمس مع جاري." فاللغة الانجليزية لا تجبرنا على الافصاح بجنس الجار، بعكس العربية و الفرنسية التي تلزم الجنس بالإسم.
بالإضافة إلى لزوم الإفصاح عن الجنس في بعض اللغات، نجد أن تقسيمات النوع الاجتماعي هي أول جانب تفرضه اللغة الأم على المتحدثين. من الأمثلة على ذلك ما نجده في اللغة العربية و الألمانية و الأسبانية من تأنيث و تذكير للأسماء المجردة. ففي لغتنا العربية لا مفر أبدا من تأنيث النافذة و تذكير الباب. و هذا الأمر غير موجود بتاتا في اللغة الإنجليزية.
مثال آخر على تأثير اللغة في الفكر يكمن في نظام الاتجاهات، حيث وجد العلماء أن هناك قبائل مثل الجوجو ميثير في أستراليا تستخدم نظام إحداثي للإتجاهات فقط. أي أن أفراد القبيلة يستخدمون الإتجاهات الأربعة في تحديد أماكن الأشياء، ولا يعرفون ابدا عن النظام الأنوي الذي يتخذ من الانسان مرجعا في تحديد الموقع، فترانا نقول مثلا أن "كوب الشاي انسكب على يمينك." و هذا مخالف لما قد ينطق به أحد أفراد قبيلة الجوجو ميثير: "كوب الشاي انسكب لجهة الغرب."
آخر مثال على تأثير اللغة في الفكـر يكمن في قدرتنا على تمييز الألوان. حيث وجد العلماء أن الفَص الأيمن من الدماغ مسؤول عن معالجة ما نراه من جهة اليسار، و أن الفَص الأيسر، حيث يكون مركز اللغة، مسؤول عن معالجة ما نراه من جهة اليمين. وجد العلماء من خلال التجارب أن قدرتنا على تمييـز التبايـن بين الألوان من جهة اليمين أفضل من جهة اليسار و ذلك بسبب لجوء الدماغ الى مركز اللغة لتفسير التباين. خَلُصَت التجارب الى أن الدماغ دائما ما يلجأ لمركز اللغة لإدراك الفرق بين الألوان حتى عندما يقوم العلماء بعزل أو إشغال مركز اللغة عن طريق القيام بتجارب تعتمد على الإختيار بين عدة ألوان بشكل صامت أو من خلال عد الارقام لإلهاء مركـز اللغة.
خلاصة الأمر هي أن النوع الاجتماعي (الجندر)، الإتجاهات، و الألوان هي ثلاث جوانب فكرية أثبت العلم أن اللغة تؤثر فيها بشكل قطعي لا شك فيه. كما أثبت العلم أن اللغة الأم لا تؤثر في القدرة على التفكير المنطقي و الإستيعابي. السؤال الآن، هل أنصح بقراءة هذا الكتاب؟ الإجابة هي بالطبع نعم إن كنت مهتما في التعرف على حيثيات العلاقة بين اللغة و الطبيعة و الثقافة، و بكيفية تأثير اللغة الأم على التفكير. ...more
"As we said before, any attempt to restore a man's inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal."
It seems that havi"As we said before, any attempt to restore a man's inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal."
It seems that having something to aim at is a prerequisite for sanity, not just for inmates, but also for the typical person.
Jordan Peterson agrees with this sentiment. He also said that when reading a book like this one you should keep in mind that you're reading about yourself, what you're capable of as a human being.
There's an all-encompassing curious feeling that I've felt after reading Frankl's story. And it has to do with the prevalent degeneracy that runs all the way through the guards to the prisoners. Evil is everywhere. It's not a hierarchical top-down cascading influence of a tyrant subjecting "innocent" people to his tyranny. Evil is everywhere, inside each and every one of us. In the camps, some guards were evil. Others were kinder. The Kapos were prisoners whose temperament appealed to the SS and were chosen as delegates to help run the camps. There was tyranny even anong the "innocent" prisoners.
Beyond this point, Frankl talks about five important concepts in logotherapy:
- Anticipatory anxiety: when the fear of something happening brings about the undesirable result - Hyper-attention: when focusing too much on something becomes detrimental - Hyper-intention: when focusing too much on a certain outcome makes it even more difficult to achieve
Such psychological problems can be fixed by:
- De-reflection: when we try to reverse the subject of intention or attention - Paradoxical intention: trying to focus on bringing about that which we feel neurotic about
An insightful investigation on the psychology of love from an individual and socioeconomic perspectives.
Dr. Fromm points to the fact that we've been cAn insightful investigation on the psychology of love from an individual and socioeconomic perspectives.
Dr. Fromm points to the fact that we've been conditioned to see love as a problem of an object, a person we'd think would be worthy of our love, a person with whom we'd fall. He argues that this point of view is not enough, and that the right thing is to perceive love as a problem of faculty, an inherent human ability that marks the mature person who can truly stand in love. Thus, love, as we see it, must transform into a verb. Learning how to become more loving must be our main concern.
In addition, Fromm marks an important distinction that most of us in our equalitarian societies have forgotten—the difference between motherly love and fatherly love. The former is typically unconditional, whereas the latter is conditional. This, I think, is a healthy polarity the child must experience. The mother should be thoroughly loving, and the father should encourage the healthy parameters that would guide the child into a proper social conditioning.
A book about overcoming the fear of self-promotion.
Here are some tips and quotes:
What to share and how
Find a scenius, pay attention to what othersA book about overcoming the fear of self-promotion.
Here are some tips and quotes:
What to share and how
Find a scenius, pay attention to what others are sharing, and then start taking note of what they’re not sharing. Be on the lookout for voids that you can fill with your own efforts, no matter how bad they are at first.
The form of what you share doesn’t matter. Your daily dispatch can be anything you want—a blog post, an email, a tweet, a YouTube video, or some other little bit of media. There’s no one-size-fits-all plan for everybody.
"What are you working on?" Stick to that question and you’ll be good. Don’t show your lunch or your latte; show your work.
Should I share this? Is it useful or interesting? Yes, share it. No, toss it. I don't know, save it for later.
The number one rule of the Internet: People are lazy. If you don’t include a link, no one can click it.
Your work doesn't speak for itself
"When shown an object, or given a food, or shown a face, people’s assessment of it—how much they like it, how valuable it is—is deeply affected by what you tell them about it."
"Stories are such a powerful driver of emotional value."
"The stories you tell about the work you do have a huge effect on how people feel and what they understand about your work, and how people feel and what they understand about your work effects how they value it."
Emma Coats, a former storyboard artist at Pixar, outlined the basic structure of a fairy tale as a kind of Mad Lib that you can fill in with your own elements: “Once upon a time, there was _____. Every day, _____. One day, _____. Because of that, _____. Because of that, _____. Until finally, _____.”
[image]
What to write in your bio
Strike all the adjectives from your bio. If you take photos, you’re not an “aspiring” photographer, and you’re not an “amazing” photographer, either. You’re a photographer. Don’t get cute. Don’t brag. Just state the facts.
Success and what next?
The people who get what they’re after are very often the ones who just stick around long enough. It’s very important not to quit prematurely.
When you feel like you’ve learned whatever there is to learn from what you’re doing, it’s time to change course and find something new to learn so that you can move forward....more
This beautifully written book tells us about the life of Mikel Jollett, lead singer of indie rock band, The Airborne Toxic Event, which is one of my fThis beautifully written book tells us about the life of Mikel Jollett, lead singer of indie rock band, The Airborne Toxic Event, which is one of my favorites, along with others like The Killers, The National, and Dave Matthews Band. I should emphasize how much of a good writer Mikel is: his writing in the first two chapters reminded me of Tony Morrison’s Beloved and A Mercy—the pure childlike lyricism and simple analogies. In my book, if your writing reminds anyone of Tony Morrison, then you are an effing good writer, period. Mikel’s life started on the wrong tracks of Synanon, a cult whose original goal was to help alcoholics and addicts. Synanon went sideways and its leaders went corrupt, coercing men to get vasectomies and women to abandon their children so that they can become Children of the Universe. The result was, unfortunately, epitomized by the struggles Mikel and his brother, Tony, faced growing up: childhood trauma, attachment disorders, violence, and addiction. Children of the Traumatized.
Unlike Morrison’s often non-linear narratives, Mikel opts for a traditional storyline. His build up in the beginning is slow and mimics the spongelike impressionability of children. Tension grows as we move along and the pace becomes faster. Mikel grows older and hidden truths and problems start to surface. These mainly have to do with his depressed mother and his inability to have long-term relationships. The turning point is a conversation he has with his father, who tells Mikel that he doesn’t have to become like him, an ex-con and alcoholic. This effectively cuts the cord. Mikel no longer tries to identify with his father and decides to become someone different. He goes to Stanford, studies psychology and uncovers what has become twisted in him because of his mother and Synanon. He starts a band. He goes to therapy and puts some of the chaos inside into proper order, tying loose ends and cultivating the inner landscape. Things get better. Change is slow. But it happens.
I kind of knew that Jollett is a good writer from the lyricism of his sad songs, the way he sets his poetry into music. I found it hard to pass reading his memoir, which has been on my mind since Covid hit four years ago. I can only say that I really recommend reading this book. It is very well written. I also recommend listening to songs like Letter to Georgia, Missy, Papillon, and Wishing Well—which was the first song he ever written, and it took him eight months shackled alone in some isolated town—to get the feel of how solid and beautiful and lyrical his writing feels. ...more
ترجمة سيئــة جدا لكتــاب و كــاتــب و عــالــم عظــيم جدا..
قــد أبــدوا قــاســيا بعض الشيء و لكن هذه الترجمة سيئة لدرجة جعلتني أعتقد بأن المترجم نــهترجمة سيئــة جدا لكتــاب و كــاتــب و عــالــم عظــيم جدا..
قــد أبــدوا قــاســيا بعض الشيء و لكن هذه الترجمة سيئة لدرجة جعلتني أعتقد بأن المترجم نــهاد خيــاطة لا يملك المعرفة و الفهم الكافي في علم النفس التحليلي ليأخذ على عاتقه ترجمة كتاب رائع لعالم رائع مثل يونغ. حتى على سبيل النقل الصرفي و السيميائي البحت للكلمات من الانجليزية إلى العربية، فإن هذه النسخة تفتقر للتماسك و الترابط الذي يعين القارئ على الفهم و التقرب من علم النفس التحليلي.
لا أنصح أبدا بهذا الكتاب لأن الترجمة بصراحة مُنفِّرة و مُحبِطة و لن تحبب القارىء او الباحث بعلم النفس التحليلي. لا بل إنها قـد ترسم صورة غيــر دقيقــة و غيـر منصفة بحق كارل يونغ و مدرسته.
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فيما يلي، قمت بترجمة مكونات النفس بصيغة أخرى أكثر دقة من ما هو موجود في الكتاب:
النفس تتكون من ثلاث مكونات رئيسية: الوعي، اللاوعي الشخصي، اللاوعي الجماعي.
النفـــس
الوعي يتكون مـن التفكيـر، الشعور، الحواس، الحدس، الإنتبـاه، الشــوارد، الأحــلام.
اللاوعي الشخصي يتكون مـن مكبوتــات و عــقد نفســية (صور و أفكار مشحونة بالعواطف).
اللاوعي الجماعي يتكون مـن نماذج بدائية (أنماط من الإدراك) و غرائــز (أنماط من الفعل)....more
لقَّــلما نجــد مثل هذه الكتــب التي تتناول موضوع الحب و العلاقات بواقعيـة و عملية مبنية على أسس تجريبية صريحة في علم واقعــي.. عمــلي.. و مـفيد جدا..
لقَّــلما نجــد مثل هذه الكتــب التي تتناول موضوع الحب و العلاقات بواقعيـة و عملية مبنية على أسس تجريبية صريحة في علم النفس. الجمـيل في هذا الكتاب أنـه بعد قراءته بتمعن سيتمكن القارئ من ملاحظة لغات الحب (أو أعمال الحب) المختلفة و المتداولة بين أفراد العائلة، و بالتالي فإن تفسير هذه الأعمال (التي قد تبدوا بعيدة كل البعد عن الحب أحيانا) و رؤية القارئ لها يتغيـر بعد قراءة هذا الكتاب. هذه الميزة، حسب رأيي، هي التي تصنع الفارق و تجعل من لــغات الحــب الخمــس كتابا مميزا بقدرته على تغيـيـر رؤيتنا للأمـور—تغيـيـرٌ بإمكاننا اعتباره أسمى ما قـد يطمح أي كتابٍ إلى تحقيقه....more
“If we lived in Truth; if we spoke the Truth—then we could walk with God once again, and respect ourselves, and others, and the world. Then we might t“If we lived in Truth; if we spoke the Truth—then we could walk with God once again, and respect ourselves, and others, and the world. Then we might treat ourselves like people we cared for. We might strive to set the world straight. We might orient it toward Heaven, where we would want people we cared for to dwell, instead of Hell, where our resentment and hatred would eternally sentence everyone.”
This has been one of the most eye-opening books I’ve ever read. And it took me almost six months to finish it.
Here are some bits (rules) I’ve found most useful, memorable, and intriguing:
- Speak the truth. Face the truth. Be honest with yourself first, so you can be honest with others. - Pay attention. Pay close attention to your words and actions. Notice how they make you feel. Notice what they tell you about yourself. - Aim for the highest conceivable good. Aim for what’s good for you, which is not the same as that thing that (you might think) would make you happy; it’s also not that thing (you might think) you want. - Compare yourself only with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today. - Take stock of yourself. Think honestly about yourself. Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses, and try to improve. - Learn how to treat yourself properly. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself as someone you’re responsible for helping. - What you aim at determines what you see. Everything else is blurred out of focus.
- Learn how to think properly and intentionally. In other words, strive to be more conscious. Try to be more intentional when you’re thinking. Learn the art of negotiating with yourself properly and truthfully (this one last bit is for me personally)....more
This book is about setting and honing personal values. It's about determining what to give a fuck about in your life. In Manson's witty words, managinThis book is about setting and honing personal values. It's about determining what to give a fuck about in your life. In Manson's witty words, managing the amount of fucks you give. Minimizing the scope of your interests really—to the essentials. Putting all of your eggs in that one basket. Figuring out what that basket is in the first place. Does that make sense?
I enjoyed a couple of ideas. One of them is on the importance of cultivating doubt. Manson claims that uncertainty is the way forward and that the key to personal growth lies in being comfortable with it. The comfort breeds an openness that obliterates sticking to rigid values and motivates us towards positive change. Uncertainty breaks the entitlement chain, the belief that you're a special snowflake who deserves special treatment from the world—the naivety of expecting something for nothing, to be loved for doing nothing, to be appreciated for doing nothing, and so on.
To break the hold of the spell of certainty and entitlement, Mr. Manson proposes asking yourself three golden questions:
1- What if I'm wrong? 2- What would it mean if I'm wrong? 3- Would me being wrong create better problems?
I tried them for size and trust me, the sheer entertaining of the possibility of being wrong is refreshing. Also wonderful in cultivating compassion, humility, and acceptance of oneself and others.
The success formula Manson proposes goes something like this:
Happiness comes from solving problems, and the quality of your problems is determined by the quality of your values and metrics, the standards by which you measure your success. Naturally, the better the problems, the more successful you are. Good problems come from having good values and metrics.
And so Manson dedicates more than half of his book to what he sees as the five most important values, and he summarizes them on page 89 in one paragraph:
"The first ... is a radical form of responsibility: taking responsibility for everything that occurs in your life, regardless of who's at fault. The second is uncertainty: the acknowledgment of your own ignorance and the cultivation of constant doubt in your own beliefs. The next is failure ... The fourth is rejection: the ability to both say and hear no ... The final value is the contemplation of one's own mortality."
Another idea that stuck is the Do Something Principle, the idea that action can and sometimes should precede motivation. This reminded me of Ralph Waldo Emerson's famous quote: "Do the thing and you shall have the power." Most of us, unfortunately, spend our entire lives waiting for that power to come down, waiting for the muse instead of moving in the direction of our dreams.
In the end, The Subtle Art is a sobering unconventional take on self-help, and I recommend it for people looking for just that.
Three stars and a half, with a grain of salt. My rating came down from four and a half thanks to me cultivating doubt about this book. So here goes that Mr. Manson....more
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