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| 1685452221
| 9781685452223
| 1685452221
| 4.10
| 40,170
| Jun 13, 2024
| Jun 11, 2024
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it was ok
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: marriage of convenience, amnesia, 6 year age gap Feels: 1/5 Steam*: 2/5 (a fair amount of on page explicit sex, but with poor **spoiler alert** Tropes: marriage of convenience, amnesia, 6 year age gap Feels: 1/5 Steam*: 2/5 (a fair amount of on page explicit sex, but with poor chemistry and little positive emotion to back it up) Kinks: off page use of toys, bondage, degradation and praise, choking Angst: high HEA: yes Pairing: MF Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: alcoholism, drug use, SA, mental health, pining, OM/OW drama, sociopath MC, attempted suicide, murder, horrible power imbalance between MMC and FMC, unsafe sex I have so much to say about this book. I actually went over the limit and had to shorten my review. I tried so hard to give this book a chance. I'm all about transparency and honest reactions, and I want to give context for the full picture of the evolution of my thoughts on this book. Don't pigeon hole my opinions because of my starting point though! I'm not an indiscriminate hater. I'm one of the readers that thought the bread crumbs of Eli and Ava in previous stories made it sound like Eli had been obsessed with Ava since he was a child, that he had been set on marrying her his whole life, and that everyone in their lives knew that Ava was Eli's and Eli was Ava's, wrapped around her little finger. I was picturing Eli as being a sociopath who felt nothing for anyone but Ava. And that Eli had imprinted emotionally on Ava and had loved her with the innocence of a child in a non-sexual way all her life, was planning to marry her as a kid as an ownership thing, wouldn't consider other girls sexually because he was a sociopath and just wasn't interested in anything that wasn't Ava. I thought we were going to get a sociopath twist on Cole and Silver's story with Eli's sociopathy leading to the dark part of the romance. Before the release when the first plot teases started coming out, we knew that what was coming was going to be very different. It disappointed me. I know people were concerned that Eli would come off as a pedo if that story happened, but I think that could have easily been dealt with by making Eli's love a non-sexual love and him not have sexual urges until later in life because of his sociopathy and other quirks. But I got over it! That's life, I shouldn't have let myself get enthusiastic and ship based off of breadcrumbs. Rina doesn't write cheaters (which is a big ick for me so I can relax knowing we won't have that) and her men love their love interests hard, so whatever Eli and Ava's story ended up being, it would probably be an enjoyable ride. I should just enjoy their story on its own merits and just be in it for the ride. I tried to enjoy this story! I was as open as I could be to appreciate it for what it was. But jeepers, when I just judge this book on its own merits, this was an ugly romance in so many ways (Bran sure foretold that one). I could write an essay on why this relationship was an ugly romance (not a beautiful healing affirming love), why Eli was a horrible book boyfriend, why the power dynamic was awful and her mental health made their relationship a moral dilemma and icky. And overall, this book didn't make me feel anything more than the occasional hopeful twinge of positive emotion (usually triggered by a minor character). GOF was a treasure, I loved NikoBran's LOVE. I expected more from EliAva, I originally thought they would be one of the best RK couples, so I'm disappointed. I feel like from the beginning there were aggressive hints that we should be feeling sorry for Eli and that he was selfless (hinting that he was a sad boy in love and was tragically in love with a woman he had to be a caretaker for). But with every insight we got into his thoughts at particular moments during their past and present up until like the 92% mark, I felt like we were shown that Eli's feelings were ugly, not love, and selfish. I'm going to itemize some of the moments (not all) where I disliked what we were seeing of Eli: - Page 66 - he implies he slept with Ava before and that she was bad in bed. When a man lies about sex and callously insults a woman's sexual performance, that is an ick for me. - Page 102 - I felt like it was being shoved down our throats that we can't blame Eli for sleeping around. I get it they weren't together, but don't have Ava trying to sell that to us on his behalf. It's like the author knew everyone was going to hate that Ava was pining while Eli was with others, and she was trying to make everybody okay with it. You can't make this dynamic romantic, it's manipulative. - Page 168 - Eli tells her that she has his protection and he'll give her children if she wants, but he'll never love her. And this is over 2 years into their marriage in the present. Just knowing that they have gone through everything that they have been through to that point and Eli still isn't in love with her yet, that he hasn't been doing what he's done out of love, it just kills Eli's status as a swoon-worthy book boyfriend. So cold. What this book desperately needed was Eli to have been in love with her and aware of his love at minimum since their wedding and just not telling her. Page 215 he also makes a comment where it's very clear that he's still not in love with her at that point either. - Page 250 - Eli had unprotected sex with Ava and had Sam hand her the morning after pill the next morning, without talking to Ava at all. This made my blood boil with rage. I would murder Eli. The gall of him, to put her in this position by having unprotected sex with her (when her mental state is fragile! They probably shouldn't have been having sex at all at this point. And for him to not even use a condom?!) and then not even having a conversation with her and just dumping a morning after pill on her? What an ass. Later on he says that he just wanted to give her a choice, but you do not hand someone the morning after pill with no conversation. - Page 256 - this is just one more moment of her friends being afraid of Eli and not willing to tell Ava things. Eli is such a jerk for making her friends be shitty and unsupportive to her. It's good that he cut out some of the toxic people from her life, but her legitimate friends he had no right to chip away at her healthy relationships and support systems and manipulate her using her friends. - Page 276 "“Being married doesn’t come with a free card to demolish each other’s privacy, so no, I don’t think we should know personal things about each other.”" he's such a jerk for so far into the book refusing to let Ava in at all. In This moment he's refusing to tell her why he doesn't eat anything but what Sam cooks, that literally is her business because it affects daily living in their marriage. - One reason why I don't like Eli is he doesn't know how to love well. He doesn't treat her well as a romantic partner. Yeah he's a caretaker of her while she's ill. But he doesn't talk nice to her, he doesn't think romantically of her, he says s*** that is hurtful and he does s*** that is hurtful and pushes her away. It's very unromantic - Page 285 - "“We’re not lovers. This is only fucking, so I don’t see why we should engage in any form of intimacy.”"- this moment had me choking on my rage. At this point they have been having sex for quite a while and are committed to staying married. She's asking him to stop f****** her solely from behind because it makes her feel like she's being sexually used by him and he's saying that their relationship is just f****** and she shouldn't expect anything? Are you kidding me?!? Eli is a piece of shit. He actually means this, he is not in love with her at this point. Ava is so hurt by it "And yet every time he shoves me to my stomach so he can’t see my face, and every time he doesn’t share my bed, I feel a part of me ripping at the seams and falling away with the depressing finality of an autumn leaf." - Page 308 - he implies he would kill her if she cheated on him or did something that he disapproved of. This is not book boyfriend goals. Adrian thought Lia cheated on him and he didn't even consider letting her go. Kirill would have let Sasha walk all over him and he would thank her for it. Eli is one of the worst men that this author has written. - Page 382 - Eli has a big moment talking about what he thought about Ava in the past and present. And it's clear that he's not in love with her at this point. And his thoughts are so ugly and non-romantic. Definitely an ugly romance - Page 391 - in this flashback to an incident 2 years ago, he blackmails her into marrying him or else he's going to blame a murder on her. He is so brutal with her and it's not even like he wants her or has feelings for her motivating him. Niko would never do this to Bran. - Page 393 - this is so ugly, talk of discarding her. "Yes, Ava has her own sex life like I do, but that phase will soon come to an end. And by soon, I mean tonight. From now on, no one else but me will touch her. Fuck her. Own her. She’ll fall at my feet until I decipher the depths of this obsession. Then I’ll get bored like I usually do and discard her like all my previous conquests." - This comment from Ava "I can’t marry him. And it’s not because he killed a man in cold blood. It’s because I’m genuinely scared he might do the same to me one day." - Page 397 "“I c-can’t do this.” “You seem to believe you have a choice, but you don’t. Either you stay still and go through with the wedding, or you leave. If you choose the second option, I’ll find you and I’ll kidnap you to a place no one can find you. I’ll lock you the fuck up and you’ll never see your parents or friends ever again. And if you prove to be a hassle, I’ll slice your fucking throat and end your life as effortlessly as I did Oliver’s.”" - Page 402 - Eli making medical decisions about Ava with what he wants in mind as opposed to what's best for her. Eli is such an asshole. Some readers compare their story to Adrian and Lia but Adrian always had her best interests in mind. He was selfless with her. He loved her from the beginning. Eli didn't love Ava from the beginning and he's been doing a lot of things at his own interests instead of hers and at the expense of her health. He's been abusing the power that he has over her. - Page 444 - Ava finding out that Eli has been sad without her and that he was secretly visiting her in the hospital makes her all of a sudden forgive him for everything and heals everything in their relationship somehow. I don't see how that makes up for anything. - Page 459 - Ava says that Eli makes her feel cherished. There hasn't really been a moment where I felt like Eli cherished Ava. I'm a sucker for platonic touch and moments where characters conveyed their emotion and their need and love for each other in the little moments, that is my jam, I live for it. But the little moments that we got between Eli and Ava didn't have that vibe at all. I felt extremely uncomfortable about Eli and Ava's relationship because of her mental state. I'm sensitive to power imbalances & with Ava's mental health this was a big one: - She said this "Due to my psychosis and constant mental breakdowns and fugue episodes, I’m legally required to have a guardian who’ll be able to supervise and stamp-approve any major decisions". This is a big deal. She doesn't have piddily minor issues. - Page 353 - Ava goes to her therapist for help because she feels like she's getting worse mentally, and the therapist won't even talk to her and help her, saying that Ava has to go through Eli for any appointments and help. This isn't right. The therapy relationship should be a different dynamic. One that protects the patient a little bit more and prioritizes communication with the patient and receiving of therapy. - If Ava's not sane enough to talk to her therapist, if she can't make decisions for herself at all, the person who has power over her shouldn't be having sex with her. I know that there's a big talk about people that are disabled and their right to have sex lives, and I'm not saying that Ava shouldn't have a sex life. What I'm saying is it's an unfair/abusive power dynamic for the person that she's having sex with to be the person that has so much power over her. It's a complicated moral dilemma. - I don't like that they had a lot of unprotected sex. They clearly didn't use birth control the night he offered her the morning after pill. Ava references all the sex they were having afterwards and is a bit hopeful about getting pregnant. And clearly they weren't using condoms as he was always leaving her dripping cum. So unless he was administering the birth control shot to her without her knowledge, they've been playing Russian roulette with getting pregnant for a good portion of the book. Given how much medication Ava is on, if she wants to get pregnant she should be having a conversation with her doctor about whether she needs to adjust medications so that she doesn't have high risk of birth defects. At a certain point when Ava recognized her health wasn't so great, I wouldn't have been surprised if off page she had decided to go on birth control and maybe the author just didn't show that to us. But even if I gave that little bit of benefit of the doubt, there were definitely many instances of unsafe sex and it was pretty wildly irresponsible with the complications of mental health and birth defect risks. Some additional miscellaneous moments of ugly romance that I didn't particularly blame Eli for or that weren't tied to the power imbalance due to Ava's mental health: - Remi telling Eli and all the friend group that almost 17 year old Ava was going to confess her love to Eli. Remi was Ava's friend too and that was a really s***** friend move. Boys are immature (and Ava was immature!) but Remi crossed a line and that was so ugly - Ava as a 17 year old knowing Eli was sleeping around (my interjection - I don't blame him, he was single) and talking herself into her being ok with it and it not completely breaking her heart. It was just ugly to see Ava go through that. I hate pining relationships. Especially when one person is f****** around and it hurts even when no one owed anything given their dynamic, it's just ugly to watch. And I wanted to tell Ava to like grow a spine. - Ava's confession of feelings in the letter and verbally at 17 was just so cringe - Page 117 - dry humping and talking about their sex life in front of Sam - Page 158 - Ava saying she wants him to realize he lost her and hoping that it stings. Their relationship is swarming with negative feelings and pain. - Page 164 - I might be married to him but I don't have any ownership over him- this line stood out to me because it was notable that Ava didn't feel like she was special to Eli or had truly caught his attention in a positive way at this point. It was actually over 100 Pages later before she started feeling like she was special. In most of Rina's books the love interests feel like they have their love interest's attention well before Ava got to experience that, and those other books had this positive emotion that is an undercurrent in the story / their relationship, and that was lacking in this book Random miscellaneous thoughts I had while reading: - Someone needs to sit Rina down and tell her to stop using the word mythical in her books. She butchers the f*** out of that word, using it in all of her books and almost always incorrectly. She used it six times in this book and only one of them was the correct use of the word. - I was disappointed by Cole's chapter. I thought we were going to get a riot of a chapter. He has hated Eli ever since Ava was born. I was certain there was going to be a fun explosion when we saw his perspective. Levi's reaction to Nikolai set a gold standard for the parent POV and I thought Levi was going to have nothing on Cole because Cole is a petty man and has the biggest grudge against Eli and Aiden. I didn't even crack a smile while reading Cole's chapter. It came out of time where Ava was in crisis and s*** was serious. I feel like this whole story could and should have been different and I would have loved to see the legacy of gods series end on a wildly funny parent group chat note, with a wild parent POV closing things off from an RES and LOG perspective with happy reminisces. - I feel like there was a massive lost opportunity here. By making so much of Ava's story a secret from Ava herself, we didn't get to see Ava interacting very much with her friend group. And when she was interacting with them they were all keeping things from her so they weren't talking openly. I would have loved for there to be a huge presence in this book of group chats with the Elites and the Heathens, and for us to see uninhibited thoughts and reactions from the characters were so fond of from other books. We got some moments but they were really reserved. - This was relatively slow burn. Their first time is at the 52% mark. - I wish Ava was less superficial. She's always talking about clothes, fashion and brand names. She has no ambition. She talks about coming from money and takes money for granted. Even when she participates in charity concerts she doesn't seem to express an interest in the charity cause, it's just about her performing on her cello. I wish she had more ambition or selfless interests. - Page 435 - I feel like Rina has taken the approach in the nature versus nurture argument that nature is undeniable. And how you are raised has no impact on who you end up being. And I don't like that approach. I know genetics are huge, and there are some conditions that are inherited. But I think it is a negative message for her to present nurture as having no role and people being unable to escape their fate due to genetics. - Page 453 - They made up far too easily. They had been through so much shit and everything was smoothed over in a very brief conversation with only a few pages remaining in the book. I needed more effort to go into the resolution. Some notable moments: "I have come to the grim conclusion that my wife has the destructive energy of a world war and the emotional IQ of a plastic flower." I wanted her to make him pay "However, I want him to see me at my brightest. I want him to look and regret everything he’s done to me. I want him to realize that he’s lost me. And while he’s exponentially allergic to feelings, I hope it stings a little." Remi quoting this meme was so real. "“No, I ain’t seen nothing. I ain’t seen nothing. Matter of fact, I’m blind in my left eye and forty-three percent blind in my right eye. I don’t see much of nothing. Matter of fact, I can’t even see you, sir.” “Are you quoting a meme? You damn traitor!”" I love Ari's energy "“Should I whack him for you?” I laugh. I can’t help it when she sounds so serious. “You’re a gangster now?” “I’m many dangerous things under the right circumstances.” “And you can take him out?” “With the help of Papa, Remi, Lan, Cecy’s man, and Bran’s scary fiancé, who’ll do anything he says, absolutely. Eli King who? He won’t see us coming as I blast ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 22, 2024
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Jun 22, 2024
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Jun 22, 2024
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Paperback
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| B0CS8J2KGK
| 4.05
| 3,281
| Jun 15, 2024
| Jun 15, 2024
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liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: jock/jock, secret relationship, instalove, hurt/comfort Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: Docking, food sex, dom/sub, daddy/boy, **spoiler alert** Tropes: jock/jock, secret relationship, instalove, hurt/comfort Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: Docking, food sex, dom/sub, daddy/boy, degradation, edging, kink of being used as a cum dumpster Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: death of parent, neglectful parent, domestic violence (not between MC's), minor alcoholic/addict character, erectile dysfunction, a scene of extremely dumb unsafe sex, mental health issues I should say before I start this review, I don't think this book was a good fit for me. Which is kind of silly because I'm a sucker for neediness and comfort, but the way it was done here just did not work for me, there were a lot of things that seemed like dumb decisions plot wise and the unequal dynamic just was unhealthy to me. Nick is 22 and he's an out bi or pan football player in college. His parents regularly Foster children. Joey is 25 and gay and a closeted hockey player. He is captain of his team and a late student. They don't explicitly say why, but it seems likely that he didn't feel he could leave home until his younger siblings had? Joey's father died when he was young and his mother retreated as a parent, focused on paying off medical bills. His mother would berate Joey for not looking after his siblings better, faulting him for every time the siblings acted up or out or they had a problem in their household. Joey had a huge sense of responsibility and was mentally and emotionally a mess. They meet at the beginning in a gay bar. They are instantly attracted to each other. They hook up and it's kinky from the beginning, Nick has a way of reading what Joey needs and giving it to him. So it is a good hook up, their sexualities are compatible, they want a repeat. They don't make plans to see each other again, which is kind of dumb on Nick's part because Nick really wants a repeat. But they meet again because they are both athletes though for different teams at college. When they meet again, Nick offers himself up on a plate for Joey, willing to have him on any terms and be whatever he needs. Which I have to say, makes sense a little bit early on in their relationship, but he does this all the way to the end of the book, and it's an incredibly unequal dynamic between the two of them. It's unhealthy long-term. At some point Joey needs to stand on his own but also be equal partner and meet mixed needs in a give and take way, not just taking. About their first time having sex... Joey had sex with somebody else that same night. He showed up to the bar after having had unprotected sex with somebody else which wasn't fulfilling to him, he's full of cum dripping out of him but he didn't get off so he wants to find another hookup. Nick finds this out by going to finger him and finding him loose and dripping cum. This icked me out so hard I almost dnf'd, but other reviewers said there was a real special dynamic of sweetness between Nick and Joey so I stuck it out. Being the second person in one night is an ick for me. But I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum or kink shame things that aren't my thing. What I will do is side eye wildly irresponsible unsafe sex though! Especially, because Joey had unprotected sex and his new partner is touching his old partner's cum with no forewarning beforehand, AND Nick and Joey do not use a condom. I don't care that they're both on Prep, you shouldn't be having sex without condoms with multiple strangers in one night. It's not safe. You can't trust strangers and prep does not protect against everything! This was especially stupid because a few pages later, Nick lectures a teammate about unprotected sex and is handing out condoms. You can have condoms on the ready to give to your friends / teammates but not use them yourself? Unsafe sex is dumb you know that yet you just had it multiple times yourself, and with a guy that had already had sex with someone else that night without protection?! A guy who from his inner thoughts we learn has a fetish of being used as a c** dumpster and has had many nights where he has multiple partners and gets off on being used? This is a wildly unsafe situation. Setting that aside, because it only happened the one time, they weren't with anyone else after they hooked up, so at least they limit their dumb sexual decisions to between the two of them. But the author loses points with me for characters being dumb and wildly irresponsible unsafe sex being glorified. I am a sucker for a relationship where the characters are glomped onto each other emotionally and touch starved / soaking up affection. I should on paper have like this relationship more than I actually did, because these characters do have that dynamic. And there were some moments where their emotional need for each other made me happy. There were times where they just I needed a hug from their person or they just really needed to talk to their person in order to be soothed. However I feel like their dynamic wasn't what I would have wanted because it was very unbalanced and it never got to a healthy and stable point. And while there''s a lot of talk about their cuddling, I didn't get to really enjoy it and "see it" happening, it felt more like I was being told rather than shown, and I didn't really feel the cuddles deeply the way that other book couples have made me feel. Whenever they are together, they end up having sex. We do see them talking a lot and Nick is always being a calming presence for Joey, being emotional support for him. I wanted to like them more than I actually did like them. I didn't find this book very realistic. And their relationship felt really rushed at the end. They've been in an uncertain place in their relationship the whole book, they weren't stable and secure in their relationship. And they weren't in a healthy place or a reciprocal place. Nick still considers Joey to be a flight risk in their relationship at the 96% point. At that same point, he is making mental plans to adopt a set of 3-year-old twins who came from a bad home situation, and wanting to adopt them with Joey. It's kind of crazy that Nick wants to be a parent of 3-year-old twins when he himself is 22 years old. But add to that that he isn't in a confident point in his relationship with Joey, and Joey is not in a good mental state and has been a parental figure ever since his dad died, and Joey has been struggling with the pressure of being responsible for other people ever since then and clearly you shouldn't be adding more responsibility to someone who's never had a breath of freedom before. This plot doesn't fit with what would be healthy for this couple or fair to those kids. Being a parent right now seems like the last thing that Joey needs. So this just felt like a dumb plot decision on the author's part. Some notable moments: "“Put some pants on, I don’t want Neal to see what’s mine.” He says it so casually, like it’s obvious, that I smile. I’m his. He’s mine. I pull up my underwear and grab him, pulling him between my thighs while I sit on his bed. “You want me to be yours?” My voice only wobbles a little at the question." "She saw us in the parking lot. I can feel how wide my eyes are but I can’t do anything about it. I’m going to vomit. It’s a good thing we’re moving because I can never look at this woman in the face again. “I mean, really, a parking lot?” Nick starts to cackle. It’s not long before he’s doubled over, leaning on his knees, wheezing from laughing so hard, while I’m having an existential crisis." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 17, 2024
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Jun 19, 2024
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Jun 15, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| B0B78LHT93
| 4.44
| 1,807
| Nov 09, 2022
| Nov 09, 2022
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it was amazing
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: established relationship, secret relationship, paranormal romance Feels: 4.5/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pair **spoiler alert** Tropes: established relationship, secret relationship, paranormal romance Feels: 4.5/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: past abuse, trauma induced paranoia, PTSD Steffen is a dragon who is about 5,000 years old. He has a really traumatic origin story. He was abused and held captive for the first couple hundred years of his life. He was rescued and he's in a good place now with good people around him, but he's left with PTSD and paranoia, it's affected how he's lived his whole life, he's really struggled to trust people around him and be close to people. One of the only people that is close to him is Wil, another dragon that was part of the agency that rescued him. Wil saw him at his darkest and helped him recover which was a long process. Eventually their relationship turned sexual and romantic. They have been together for 4000 years. In secret though, because Steffen is paranoid that people know how much he cares about Wil, they will use it against them and they will hurt Wil. I don't want to say much about the plot because I don't want to reveal twists and spoilers. But I liked the plot. I really loved the relationship between Steffen and Wil. These guys were completely solid as a couple. There was no wavering, no hesitancy. They were 100% loyal to each other and had each other's backs. There was also a very intimate relationship between them, they were each other's comfort. And that's one of my favorite tropes. They reached out with their magic to hold each other, they passed their magic and entwined it between them so that they could be as close as they could be. And of course they were hot for each other, but there was a lot of steam, and it was very loving and affirming sex which was a nice break from the toxic dark romances I've been reading lately lol. Not very spicy, explicit, gratuitous but still passionate. I also loved the dynamic of the secret relationship. It created a nice tension running through the book. And I love the payoff moment of a secret couple coming out as a couple. I identified a lot with Steffen too. The way that his mind works against him, the rigidness in how he processes things, was umcomfortably familiar to my neurodivergent brain. Didn't really think I'd be identifying with a 5,000-year-old dragon with his traumatic past. Surprised me. Plus there were a lot of moments of comedic relief with the author's usual humor sprinkled in. Some notable moments: "“Does anyone have a choice about being friends with Alistair? My paranoia is convinced he’s on a mission to take over the world by squirming into everyone’s life. Then when he declares himself supreme overlord or whatever, everyone will be so relieved he’s found a hobby that they’ll go along with it.”" The way Wil has his back! "“No, I’d cut them out if they refused to accept your perspective and allow you to live your life the way you choose. You don’t harm anyone, Steffen. In fact, you go out of your way to help whenever you can because of some misplaced sense of inherited guilt.” I regret saying that the second the words are out of my mouth and race on. “Nobody gets to harangue you or make you feel bad because you’d prefer not to have someone in your life. They might not fully understand why, but that’s their problem, not yours. They don’t get to force their preferences on you.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 05, 2024
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Jun 05, 2024
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Jun 04, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| B0CY3JGY4S
| 4.29
| 1,168
| Apr 23, 2024
| Apr 23, 2024
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liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: rich/poor, grumpy/sunshine, hate to love Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: BDSM, rough sex, marking, breath play Angst: medium HEA **spoiler alert** Tropes: rich/poor, grumpy/sunshine, hate to love Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: BDSM, rough sex, marking, breath play Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts, cheating (both of them were cheating on other partners and cheating between MCs imo), stupidly unsafe sex, DUI, unsupportive parents, money struggles, ill parent, drug and alcohol abuse, blackout substance abuse, domestic violence (minor character), rape (not between MCs, consensual somnophilia turned into non-consensual condomless sex trying to get pregnant) 3.5 stars. I did enjoy this quite a lot at times. But it was inconsistent, a lot of negative headspace, and so many parts just didn't sit well with me, so I'm rounding down. Drew is 30 and he's working as a doorman at a really exclusive building where all the tenants are super super rich. He's in New York and he's been trying to make it as a model but feeling to break through. He's one of five children and his family isn't wealthy, his dad has been sick and one of his sisters has been pressuring him to help financially and now he's very much in debt when he was never well off, he was always struggling for money himself. He's been struggling with depression for years and years but he's too poor to get mental health treatment. He's been in a relationship with his girlfriend Jericho for 3 years but he's not as into her as she is into him. He struggles with a low sex drive because of his depression. Ollie is 24 years old and he's one of the tenants at the building. He's a child of billionaires and he is super spoiled. He's never worked a day in his life. He's always been close to his parents in his mind, he has brunch with them everyday. But he comes to learn that it's a superficial closeness. Ollie's been using drugs and alcohol since he was 15 years old. He's a bit of a sex addict. He's constantly bringing home different women every night sometimes multiple women. And he rubs it in Drew's face because he can tell Drew is envious of the women. I should say they both think they're straight, Drew and Ollie, before they hook up with each other and have their bi-awakenings. Drew hates Ollie initially. Drew is delighted when Ollie gets a DUI and gets arrested in a incredibly viral scandal. He cackles at his misery. Ollie f***** up bad and his parents hate this scandal that he's created and they decide that he needs to get married and try to rehabilitate his image. They arrange a marriage for him. At this point Ollie has been abandoned by all of his friends because they consider him social suicide. Ollie pushes Drew too far one day, and that turns into choking, marking him. And Ollie is surprised to find himself extremely turned on. Ollie chases Drew in hopes to manipulate him into more choking and breath play and sex. They start hooking up. But it's complicated because they're both cheating and they're keeping their relationship secret. Ollie would be giving up on a lot with his family and money if he chose Drew. And Drew is struggling with his mental health and his financial crisis is that a melting point and he has to make some life decisions and he's not sure if he's willing to blow up his life for Ollie. I have some complicated feelings about this book. There was a lot that made me uncomfortable, that were complete turn offs for me in a romance book and there were times where I wanted to jump ship and dnf. There was a lot that was incredibly unromantic, at times I was judging the book for not being an enviable love story in a million ways but at the same time I was thinking I should be respecting the author at times for not making it a too easy love story. My thoughts as I was reading: - Active drug abuse is difficult to watch - Ollie seems to me to have a sex addiction - Ollie is messy blackout on drugs and drink and presumably has sex with a pornstar during the wild night, can't remember if he used protection - Drew wakes up one morning amid a depressive episode that has been lasting weeks to his girlfriend riding him without a condom. The somnophilia is fine, it's part of their relationship, but she's trying to get pregnant and she refuses to listen to him when he says stop. That's rape. - Ollie's behavior when he gets arrested is so unappealing to me as a romantic lead. His behavior is so horrible and unsafe. Driving while intoxicated, being a dick in front of the cops, fleeing, being so blackout that he doesn't know if he had protected sex with someone who has more risks than the everyday person - I like that Drew legit hates Ollie and I cackled at their early dynamic of taunting each other. - There's a bunch of on and off page sex with other people before they get together and that's fine. But it bugged me that after Drew and Ollie have been hooking up, Drew has sex with Elodie (his fiancee). He was pressured into it and he didn't really enjoy it. But Drew was jealous and ticked. And it was really spineless of Ollie to give in. Not a good romantic lead decision. Drew doesn't have sex with Jericho after he hooks up with Ollie fyi. - I dislike rich characters that don't have jobs. Ollie has never worked a day in his life, and I find that lack of ambition and Independence really unattractive in an MC. - I hated that Drew and Ollie didn't use condoms. And there wasn't really a detailed to talk about safe sex, other than Ollie saying he was negative. Drew has had unprotected sex often with his girlfriend in the last week or so. And Ollie has had a very risky sex life up until that moment. He had sex with a pornstar blackout under the influence and sex with a wildly sexually active Elodie a couple days ago, plus a whole bunch of other random people in the last 2 weeks. I don't care if he had a negative test 3 days ago or a week ago or what he shouldn't be having sex without a condom. It's very irresponsible. - After they have anal sex for the first time,vOllie goes into a shame spiral and Drew is unhappy. These guys don't get to enjoy a post sex happy glow, and that's a parallel for a lot of moments in this book. They don't have a very romantic journey as a couple, all those little moments are negative moments. In most romances you'll see moments of happiness, were they smile to themselves, or the other person just makes them happy and they enjoy and relish it. But in this book all those little moments are tainted by negative emotions and their struggles, and you just don't get that feeling that they make each other happier until very late in the book. There's a lot of well why are they together if they're this unhappy? I hate that neither Drew nor Ollie has a romantic bone in their body. Neither of them are willing to take a risk on love, neither of them have any hope in the feeling. It makes it really hard to see them transitioning to being in love and living a real life. - Random dumb moment. It seems kind of stupid that they only have 20 minutes for a hookup at Ollie and Elodie's engagement party and they are deciding to have Ollie bottom for the first time. That's not really something they should rush. - Page 273, finally one of them is taking a risk and talking about having feelings for the other! - page 280 -this has been bugging me for a while now but it really comes to a head when Drew calls in sick to work. I don't get how they think they're keeping their relationship secret from the other staff at the building. The doormen keep track of which guests have visitors and who. They are all up in the business of the tenants of the building, for safety reasons of the other tenants. There's probably video of the doors. Drew playing sick and then walking in and out of Ollie's room/building must be a big giveaway. - Drew's mental health struggle is real and well told. It's good that sex and love aren't being portrayed as a magic solution for depression. Even while Drew is happy in his relationship he's probably at his worst mental health wise until he gets actual help in therapy and with drugs for his depression. - I do love the banter between them, and I love how obsessive and possessive they feel about each other - another dumb moment - apparently Ollie's dad plans to turn his business over to Ollie when all he turns 30 in 6 years. If you're grooming your child to take over the family business, you should be making sure he's actually capable of it, make him get an education, make him work and develop the skills that are needed to manage your business. It's unrealistic that he would just hand over his company at that age. Especially because Ollie's dad is not so old that he would be out to pasture in 6 years. It's kind of ageist lol. - Various typos - I like the epilogues into the future to see Drew and Ollie happy. And I like that Ollie eventually made up with his Dad, it was realistic though that he didn't make up with his mother. Some notable moments: "Drew’s warm, strong hand settles on my shoulder. “It’s not your fault, baby.” I’m about three of Drew’s babies away from declaring my undying love for him, so he needs to watch it if he doesn’t want to wind up stuck with a clingy, destitute hobo with no job skills and a bad attitude." "Do I feel loved? Absolutely. More than loved. Vital. Do I love him? There’s more to it than that. I choose him. He’s more important to me than high ceilings and a park view. He makes me feel safer than money ever has. He’d be devastated if I stopped breathing in my sleep. He’d never take his eyes off me again, and I wouldn’t mind." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 12, 2024
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May 12, 2024
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Apr 24, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 4.44
| 815
| Apr 19, 2024
| Apr 19, 2024
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: instalove, hurt/comfort Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content wa **spoiler alert** Tropes: instalove, hurt/comfort Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: misphonia, tinnitus, panic attacks, ptsd, possibly undiagnosed autism, bad cops, parental abuse and child abandonment, kidnapping, unsafe sex Matt aka Prism is a 20 year old college swimmer with a lot of trauma. He's suffered from disorders since birth and at age 6 his politician father who had been trying to punish the behaviors out of him gave up and erased Matt from his life. Giving him to someone else to raise. Matt has been trying to cope with his brain disorders but he's easily triggered. Part of his coping is to use ASMR and listen to music. He has a crush on his favorite DJ who also secretly is coincidentally his favorite ASMR artist as well. He is in the closet. But he's considering coming out because some of his swim team members have come out recently. Arsen is also 20 or 21, at the same college, gay, and a dj. His father is a big time politician and his father is supportive of him but wishes that he had different choices in life. One night at a party that Arsen is DJing, the cops raid the party and Matt catches arson's eye. Arsen follows him and tries to protect him from the cops. And they accidentally end up spending a night in jail where arson has to help Matt calm down because all of his sensory issues are triggered. This starts an obsession that Arsen has with Matt. Arsen falls insta love with Matt. They get together and Arsen helps Matt work through his issues. They also deal with some obstacles from the cops and their parents. The first thing you should know about this book is it is very much insta love and the characters are very over the top. If those things annoy you, then this book is not for you. But if those don't bother you there are some enjoyable things in this book. My thoughts while reading: - I'm neurodivergent and deal with some of the sensory issues Matt does, though to a far lesser extent. But I saw a lot of me in him. In a way, it was nice to relate but also some uncomfortable thoughts and moments. - I wasn't a big fan of the insta love. I'm not a hater of insta love in general, but I like when there is more of a basis for the feelings so that I can understand them and believe the relationship more. I didn't understand why Arsen fell instantly in love with Matt. Matt had been crushing on Arsen for a long time so I understood his feelings. But Arsen's just came out of nowhere. - I didn't like some of the over the top ways that Arsen expressed his feelings for Matt. He got so irrationally mad at people for calling him Matthew, which he wanted to claim as his personal nickname for Matt. He got jealous of people who did anything kind or caring for Matt. He was the only person that was allowed to protect and provide for Matt in his mind. Which is absolutely ridiculous! If you really care about someone, you want as many people as possible to be looking out for that person and be there for them, cuz you can't be there 24/7. And you should be happy your person has positivity in their life. What, do you want everyone to kick Matt as soon as they see him? Will it make you happier if people are just randomly abusing Matt?! Let people be kind to him. - I kind of liked the side characters more that I liked Arsen or the Matt/Arsen relationship. Kruger stole the show every time he spoke. I kind of wish Arsen was more like him. Kruger was extremely protective of Matt but he still respected his independence, he was quietly supportive and strong for Matt but treated him like an adult and not a baby. Kruger was unapologetic. He was also extremely hilarious. He had so many quips that ate. And his ridiculous possessiveness and protectiveness was funny. Kruger is the straight best friend of Matt. The coach was also hilarious, he was so done with the antics of his athletes, but he was also always there for them and supportive. He had a lot of great quips as well. - I didn't like the way that Matt chose the nickname of bear for Arsen. He came up with that nickname out of nowhere and he instantly overused it in a cheesy way. I love nicknames, but I like them to be more organic and develop naturally, rather than be cheesy. - Niles annoyed the frack out of me. When you're a lawyer you're supposed to represent the wishes of your client, protect their interests. Arsen had made it very clear that his main goal was to protect Matt. Niles deliberately took a hatchet to Matt metaphorically and gleefully rubbed it in. Worst lawyer ever. - I wish we had gotten a clear career ambition on Matt's side. It was unrealistic for him to go through so much of university with no idea of what he wanted to do career wise. And it was also not a positive message towards people with disabilities, the fact that he didn't have career direction and dreams. And it made it harder to believe that HEA, it made it more of a HFN because you couldn't visualize what Matt's life would look like in the future. Overall a decent story if you ignore the over the top stuff. There was a lot of complicated plot stuff happening, the smut was good, I liked the emotion between the characters even if it was unrealistic insta love. The supporting characters were the most enjoyable thing. Some notable moments: I love this message. "I meant it when I said we didn’t have to fit to belong because fitting denoted changing ourselves to conform to a predetermined shape. But belonging meant change wasn’t required. Belonging meant acceptance no matter the shape." "“But you guys don’t, ah, think I’m a liability to Elite?” “If anyone is a liability to Elite, it’s Rush,” Coach announced. “Dad!” Landry gasped. Rush made a rude sound. “A guy gets arrested for murder one time…”" I love a good clingy hug "“Arsen?” Disbelief echoed in his drowsy voice. “You came.” “There is literally nothing on this earth strong enough to keep me away from you.” A sob ripped from his throat, vibrating the air around us as he shoved off the floor and flung himself at me. My body rocked when we collided, thighs locking to balance the weight. My arms sealed around him as he grappled to get closer, wrapping his muscled legs around my waist and hooking his ankles at my back. His torso arched, fitting against mine as he threaded his arms underneath my armpits to wrap them around my torso." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 22, 2024
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Apr 23, 2024
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Apr 21, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| B0CKC48NPM
| 4.02
| 1,843
| Nov 2023
| Nov 24, 2023
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: dark romance, killers Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: rough sex, dubcon, somnophilia, getting turned on by torture and murder **spoiler alert** Tropes: dark romance, killers Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: rough sex, dubcon, somnophilia, getting turned on by torture and murder Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: unsafe sex, murder, violence, SA, homophobia, adhd, mental health issues, unsafe sex 3.5 stars Aaron is 24, gay, reluctantly working in a drug dealing Network, distantly under Lev. His mother died when he was around 12. He's been raised by his homophobic stepfather and internalized homophobic step brother Jake. Jake is obsessed with him. He's bullied and threatened him ever since he entered Aaron's life, and he started sexually harassing and then assaulting him from age 16 onward. Aaron struggles with his mental health, having ADHD and voices in his head, the voices are usually triggered by Jake traumatizing him. Aaron loves violence, it turns him on. He's had a crush on Lev, one of the brothers in charge of the drug operation, from afar for the last few months. He's really attracted to his violence. Lev is 27 and likely pan. A brush in a competing drug dealers territory puts Aaron on Lev's radar. And then Lev is suspicious that Jake is not loyal to him and he has Aaron spy for him. As they interact, Aaron's craziness starts to become appealing to Lev, they have a lot in common, and their vices call to the other. But love doesn't do repeats and he doesn't do relationships, will he care enough to want something on going with Aaron? This was a pretty good story. It was very bloodthirsty and violence and kinky. Which isn't entirely my thing. But it was done pretty well. I liked Aaron more than I liked Lev. Aaron was vulnerable. They were both on hinged crazy mofos though. They were a good match together. I liked the presents of Dima and Seb in this book. Things I wasn't too huge fan of: - It took Lev a very long time to even like Aaron. We were well past the 55% mark and Lev was talking about how he was glad Aaron left, how he was crazy and clingy and definitely someone he should stay away from. Lev didn't get protective of Aaron until the very end. Other people around him like his brother and his brother-in-law were worried about Aaron and telling Lev to go check up on him, afraid he was being harmed. And Aaron was being harmed by his step brother and other bullies. It took a long time for Lev to care - Lev tried to F another guy the day after hooking up with Aaron. Aaron jealously interrupted that hook up. But I felt like Lev didn't care as much about Aaron. Even by the end of the book he couldn't really say I love you. Some notable moments: "“That's a contract you have just signed, by the way. Fine print says that you don't touch anyone else, Lev, I mean it. I'll cut your dick off in your sleep,” he says. So fucking romantic." Boyfriends who kill together "I pick up a scalpel and Lev raises his brow. “Interesting choice. I'm gonna go for something a little different,” he says. He picks up a cordless drill then attaches a large drill head to it. Now that will hurt. “You wanna go first, doe?”" "“Wanna watch me play, doe?” he asks. That voice. Goddamn. “Fuck yeah, then I want you to fuck me after,” I demand. “Aaron, seriously? I didn't need to know that,” Seb bemoans beside me. I forgot he was there. “Stop being a prude, Seb,” Lev teases and grabs my neck. I love the way he holds me. “You coming, Seb?” I ask “To the violence orgy? No thanks, I'm good. I'll wait here for D,” he says and continues to sip on his drink." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 08, 2024
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Apr 08, 2024
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Apr 07, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 4.13
| 1,930
| unknown
| Apr 04, 2024
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: age gap, mercenary/thief, hurt/comfort Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: toys, bit of exhibitionism, roadhead Angst: medium HEA: y **spoiler alert** Tropes: age gap, mercenary/thief, hurt/comfort Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3/5 Kinks: toys, bit of exhibitionism, roadhead Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: child trafficking, past CSA of MC, lots of minor character victims, murder, gore, panic attacks, self-harm, horrible humans including priests/nuns, homelessness, poverty, dead ex Ezra is 23. He is a past victim of trafficking and CSA. He managed to escape and has been living homeless since, an old addict saved him on the streets and has been basically a father figure since - Jakey. He steals very well. He's caught the attention of a crimelord who wants to use his stealthy services to steal back a hard drive. He's threatened Jakey if he doesn't succeed. Cain is 35. He's a former military man working as a mercenary, he owns his own company. He's in possession of the hard drive. He meets Ezra when Ezra attempts to steal the hard drive. Ezra fails to steal it, and is taken in for questioning, and ends up under his protection. Cain treats Ezra different from the very first moment they meet then he would any other suspect. He would have shot first with anyone else but he's whipped, left heart and mind stuttering over Ezra. He pulls Ezra closer and closer as he learns more about his past and trusts Ezra more and wants to protect him more. They work together to take down the crimelord and take down the trafficking ring he's part of. This was a good book. Cain and Ezra we're both complex characters and you really felt for the both of them. There was a lot going on with the plot, a lot of suspense. The chemistry and emotion between Cain and Ezra was intense. Ezra was very traumatized and triggered at times and had panic attacks. It was tough to read but he was so supported and cared for. I really liked Ezra as a character. He was vulnerable but a fighter, he was smart and wiley, he had good survival instincts, he was bratty and cocky at times, he was hyperactive, he had a good heart. I loved how protective Cain was, I loved the clothes sharing, the bed sharing, how Cain always found Ezra when he was breaking down and just held him, the "you are my home" dynamic. Some notable moments: Cute, Cain's first reaction to seeing Ezra "My eyes scan over the heads of people typing away, coming to rest on a pretty face that tilts my world on its axis for a few slow breaths. He tips his head up at me in curiosity, and it’s like a higher being sank a fishing hook in my cheek, lurching me to a halt to have me questioning my entire purpose. I think the answers to the universe might be hidden in the beautiful depths of his hazel eyes." "“Oh my god. Who came up with this? They deserve… shit, they deserve a medal.” I moan as he thrusts his tongue in and out. “If we would all just… Jesus, if everyone ate ass, we’d have world peace.”" "Rev pinches my cheek. “Cain tried convincing me that you’re too much of a brat to fit in on my team, but you take orders exceptionally well.” “I act up for Cain in hopes that it will result in sexual punishment.” Rev tips his head back and lets out a hearty laugh, striding away to collect his own gear." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 06, 2024
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Apr 07, 2024
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Apr 04, 2024
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ebook
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| B0844F97RG
| 3.97
| 2,326
| Jan 22, 2020
| Jan 22, 2020
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: roommates, opposites attract, bully romance (kind of but very much former bully), rich/poor Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 2/5 Kinks: n/ **spoiler alert** Tropes: roommates, opposites attract, bully romance (kind of but very much former bully), rich/poor Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 2/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: panic attacks, mental health issues, forced institutionalization and abusive mental health treatment, abusive and horrible parents, absentee parents, wrongful imprisonment, references to attempted borderline rape in the past (not MC's) 3.5 stars. A story I enjoyed in a lot of ways but there were some missed opportunities. Aidan is 23 years old and he just got out of prison. He was wrongfully charged with kidnapping Sebastian and imprisoned for 4 years. Back in high school, Aidan bullied Sebastian, who was 2 years younger than him. After graduating, real life responsibilities kind of checked Aidan's ego and he realized and regretted his bullying days. When he was 19 coming home from work one day, he saw Sebastian sitting at a bus stop in the rain and he stopped to check in and see if he needed a ride. Turns out Sebastian was running away from home because his parents were horrible horrible people and Sebastian was intending to meet up with some man in his 30s that he had met off the internet. Sebastian is gay. Aidan gave Sebastian a reality check about how dangerous that was and offered to let Sebastian crash at his place, giving him another option other than going home to his horrible parents. Sebastian's parents were so horrible though and also powerful as politicians in their small town. His parents got Aidan arrested for kidnapping a minor, Sebastian who was 17. And they mentally institutionalized Sebastian and got him hopped up on drugs that kept him in a daze essentially for a year of his life so that he couldn't counter their story during the trial. Aidan served his entire four-year sentence. When he gets out, Sebastian is there to pick him up from prison and offers him a place to stay. Aidan has very few options so he takes the offer. Aidan is a bit more self-aware now and he starts to realize that his bullying of Sebastian was probably a pigtail pulling thing. He wanted Sebastian's attention. Sebastian always had Aidan's attention and because of Aidan's horrible upbringing, he wasn't a great guy and he caught Sebastian's attention in return in unhealthy ways by bullying him. Aidan has actually always felt protective of Sebastian. We never actually see the bullying, it's in the past. In the present and in the flashbacks, Aidan is really nothing but nice to Sebastian. This is the least bullying bully romance you can read. Sebastian helps Aidan start over after prison and is there for him. And their alliance turns into friendship and romance. Aidan had never been with a guy, except for one bj in prison. He comes to identify as bisexual and he accepts having feelings for a man pretty easily, he's not homophobic and he has nobody whose opinion he cares about. Sebastian has some mental health struggles and self-esteem issues he has to work past before you can accept that Aidan cares about him. These guys are actually pretty sweet together. Aidan is a rough guy, but he has such a soft spot for Sebastian and his fiercely protective of him and that's sweet. They are both good guys. They are possessive and protective of each other and just want the other person close. They become each other's comfort person. It's notable to add that they are kind of both idiots when it comes to relationships and they are emotionally immature boys at times. Sebastian is book smart. But they just don't communicate very well simply because they are emotionally and socially idiots. I wouldn't call this book having the miscommunication trope because any miscommunications that happen only last until the next sentence comes out of their mouth to correct what they just said or until the next time they have a chance to talk which is like a day or two. I think the author missed a couple opportunities to find tune this story and executed a little bit better. There were some things that just came off as awkwardly plotted and told. Like I think it was a missed opportunity not to show even the littlest bit of their past bullying. These two guys liked each other far too much considering the past they shared. It wasn't realistic to have neither of them blame the other person and then both be so nice to each other and forgiving. The first time they brought up the idea of having penetrative sex was an incredibly awkward conversation and relationship negotiation that just suddenly jolted from nowhere into let's have anal sex right now. It gave me whiplash and just was not sexy and lacked tension. And I think it was a bad strategic decision to have their first time having anal be one-sided in that Sebastian came before the anal and asked for Aidan to basically just use him as a hole. It was their first time and given the context of when it happened and the lack of chemistry in that scene, the last thing that scene needed was to have them having this detached and disjointed sexual experience. Having bad sexual timing is completely normal and realistic but this was a moment where they really needed to have closeness and the deepest connection they could have had. There were a lot of realistic relationship moments that were conveyed, neither of them were perfect in this relationship and I actually enjoyed a lot of those realistic moments. But there were a few moments that needed more romance to them in that moment than realism. Some notable moments: "I could just picture it. Oh, hello officer. Sorry, no license and registration to show you. Yes, I’m a felon — released this morning. Him? Oh, he’s the guy I went to prison for kidnapping when he was a minor. He’s fine. I just drugged him and put him in the passenger seat unconscious so I could drive — wait, why are you pulling your gun?" "Attempted fucking rape? I understood why Sebastian hadn’t told me, logically I did. For one, a lot of victims were too ashamed to admit what had happened, and for another, I would’ve jumped out of the moving car and run back to Target, found that son of a bitch, and turned him into a smear in the parking lot." Possessive and wanting to snuggle? These are my weaknesses! "Aidan was my roommate. My friend, maybe. The guy who made me a rainbow garden. If he was going to let some drunk gay boy snuggle with him…why wasn’t it me?" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 21, 2024
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Aug 25, 2024
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Mar 15, 2024
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||||
| B0CY6GMD7B
| 4.35
| 2,219
| unknown
| Apr 17, 2024
|
it was amazing
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy bratty black cat/former f-boy turned golden retriever, nerd/jock, size difference, failed one night stand Feels: 4/5 St **spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy bratty black cat/former f-boy turned golden retriever, nerd/jock, size difference, failed one night stand Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: depression, past incestuous CSA, bad parents, bipolar/ptsd/drug addict minor character Reid is 22. He's a rich kid with a bad relationship with his parents. His mother is barely there, she's got a lot of mental issues and substance abuse issues, she's barely cognizant. His father is a successful businessman but he got there with money laundering and dirty deals. Especially early on in the book He's portrayed as a villain though you see he isn't quite as bad later on. His Dad f****** his girlfriend a while back didn't help their relationship. Reid makes social appearances for his father's business reluctantly from time to time. He's interested in his father's business but doesn't like him as a person. Atticus is 20 and he is a grumpy black cat character that pushes everyone away from him, he won't let anyone get close. He's been hurt in the past. His dad abused him as a child sexually and Atticus got him sent to prison, his mom sided with the dad and that blew up any chance of relationship with his mom. He has a close relationship with his aunt and cousin though, those are the only people in his circle. He is a very prickly guy, he's small in stature and it's a self-defense mechanism of his to protect himself. The book starts with them waking up after a one night stand and Atticus is trying to creep away. Reid is absolutely fascinated by Atticus. Reid I've never been with a guy before but something about Atticus just drew him in. He's admired men before so it wasn't completely out of nowhere. But he fell fast and hard for Atticus and he doggedly pursued him. Within 2 weeks, Reid was definitely thinking of the L word. Atticus wanted to nut and run, but Reid keeps inserting himself into Atticus's life. Atticus is a romantic at heart and he feels things deeply. Atticus wants to test the strength of Reid's feelings, because Reid has a fuckboy reputation and he doesn't want to make himself vulnerable. Atticus creates distance, is bratty, bickers with Reid, makes him work for it and try to romance him, while at the same time pulling him closer. There's an intense chemistry between them and they have a comfort they find in each other. I really enjoyed this book. It was five stars for me. I have such a weakness for this type of dynamic between characters. I really love a prickly character and someone that is a bit unhinged in the intensity of their love/feelings. Also while I love a steamy read, which this one definitely was, I also love when an author works in non-sexual touching in a meaningful way. And this book had that. My thoughts as I read this book: - I love how from the very first moment Reid was absolutely obsessed with Atticus. And I love it when a character can't stop himself from eye fucking his love interest, and I love when that love interest is a prickly little s*** and the one who is obsessed knows it and is just more attracted. It's such a fun dynamic. - I'm so weak for a character watching their love interest sleep and just being fascinated. Reid did that their first hookup. - I know red flag and Tuesdays are in the title of the book and they're trying to make a point by mentioning it, but this is a little overkill cheesy that they keep mentioning red flags and Tuesdays over and over. I get it! Be more subtle. - My heart hurt for Reid when he saw what he thought was Atticus flirting with another guy. - I hesitate to call this book instalove though I know some readers would. I think Reid was smart enough to know that at first it really was just insta infatuation. It turning into love did happen very quickly for Reid but it was believable, because Reid really got to know Atticus in that short time and there was a lot for him to love about Atticus. Atticus was everything he wanted and triggered all these emotions in him. To me this book wasn't the kind of insta-love that annoys the crap out of me. Because I totally believed Reid loved Atticus, he had lots of reasons to love him. - I think the author did a good job handling Atticus's mental health struggles, it was good representation in my head. Even Reid's mother's mental health issues were handled with some grace. - if you're a person who really liked the NikoBran relationship in God of Fury by Rina Kent, this book is definitely not a copy paste and it's not quite as epic and emotional a ride as God of Fury was, but there's definitely similarities in the kind of relationship that Reid and Atticus have. They both feature an unhinged fuckboy doggedly pursuing a reluctant, prickly, damaged character. And there is an intense hurt/comfort relationship. People that enjoyed that book would enjoy this one. Some notable moments: I love a good hug. A clutch them tight because you need that comfort so bad, a weakness of mine. "He stays silent, back to my chest, my arms around his neck, my chin resting on the top of his head, watching the taillights of the procession fade. When the last one blinks out of sight, he sighs, turns around in my arms, and hugs me. Oh, holy fuck. I hold him so tight my muscles strain. I’ve never hugged him before, and feeling his body pressed against mine, seeking comfort I don’t know how to offer, his hot face pressed to my chest, my eyes get wet. I’m not crying, but it’s evidence that I can." Um, awkward, so this next quote was said in the context of masturbatory habits. But take away the masturbation stuff, and it's just very relatable to me as far as what types of relationships I like reading. Honestly, the more athletically physical and kinky the sex is the more you lose my attention! "“Movies with chemistry and tension. Long, drawn-out shows where the relationship builds over many episodes. Books where the sex doesn’t happen until halfway through, after the buildup. It’s the build up that gets me.” He glances at me from behind his hat and glasses. “And my own head.”" Mumbling prickly moment while also touch-starved. "“I can’t wait to tell you that I love you.” “Shut up. Shut up, Reid! Do not make me cry when I got through that whole funeral without a single tear.” He tightens his arms around me, though. “You aren’t allowed to say that yet.” “I didn’t.” I laugh above his head. “Just said I couldn’t wait.” He mumbles something that sounds a lot like I can’t wait either against my chest, and then he starts on a rant about how impatient I am and that it probably means I won’t make it a whole year." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
|
Apr 25, 2024
|
Apr 27, 2024
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Mar 15, 2024
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||||
| 1739404661
| 9781739404666
| B0CQ5M77M1
| 4.22
| 1,331
| May 16, 2024
| May 16, 2024
|
liked it
|
**spoiler alert** Tropes: paranormal - vampire /mage, hurt/comfort, size difference Feels: 2.5/5 Steam*: 3/5 (a fair bit of sex, very kinky, but I foun **spoiler alert** Tropes: paranormal - vampire /mage, hurt/comfort, size difference Feels: 2.5/5 Steam*: 3/5 (a fair bit of sex, very kinky, but I found it lacking as far as feels and sensuality went, so I wouldn't really rank the quality of the steam as being great) Kinks: dirty talk, toys, bdsm, caretaking Dom/sub, exhibitionism, blood drinking Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: suicidal character, guilt and shame, other man drama in a sense (no cheating!), miscommunication trope, third act break up Toby is a vampire. Blaise is a mage. Blaise is in a guilt and shame spiral, thinking he's not worthy of people's forgiveness and living. He accidentally killed Bailey and he ran away after instead of trying to help Bailey. Yeah Bailey got reincarnated afterwards and ended up forgiving him, but he can't forgive himself. Toby sees how broken Blaise is, and the caretaking Dom in him wants to fix Blaise. Toby offers Blaise a 12-month contract of a Dom / sub relationship between the two of them, which is nothing time wise for supernatural creatures, but it's long enough to build sustainable habits. Toby is very clear that this is not a relationship, feelings will not be involved. Blaise accepts and is introduced to a kinky world where before he had lived a vanilla life. But they have conflicts. The contract is between them and they don't communicate that they both want more than the contract. So for most of the book, they think their feelings aren't reciprocated. And there's supernatural s*** going on and their lives are in danger. Three stars. Well enough written, but not an appealing romance for me. This book wasn't really for me. There was too much about it that just wasn't to my tastes. Lark develops good stories, she does good world building and development of characters. But this just wasn't appealing or working for me for a variety of reasons. Things I didn't like: - From the very beginning, it was thrown in our faces how many times Toby had done this before. How he had had contracts with many many subs before, how everything he did with Blaise, he had done before for his other subs. And Blaise was hurt emotionally at times by those reminders of how he wasn't special. And it wasn't just physical things he did before, Toby has fallen in love multiple times with his subs. To me, this just doesn't set up a romantic premise, their connection did not feel special. Toby didn't even acknowledge that what he was feeling for Blaise was something different /more until approximately 70% in. It was just too long for me to linger in this unromantic headspace. - I wish that one of them would break the rules of the contract and that they would have a little bit more of an organic relationship. That they would see that the other one was breaking the rules for them and know that this was more than just a contract, and that Blaise was actually more to Toby than his past subs were. - I didn't enjoy how rigid the power dynamic was between them. It made me uncomfortable at times, I didn't think it was a fair dynamic, so it wasn't a fun dynamic for me to see at play. Toby forced Blaise to talk about things that I didn't feel he had a right to ask him to talk about, because they weren't in a relationship, they were just Dom and sub at the time. I feel like Toby abused his entitlement to honesty and Blaise had a right to privacy, it didn't seem fair that he had to lay himself bare to Toby while Toby didn't reciprocate. - I didn't love the dynamic between Toby and Blaise as it pertained to loving the other person as they were. Toby wanted to change Blaise, and yes it was for the better because Blaise was in a shame and guilt spiral and was suicidal! But I think Toby took it too far. Toby didn't want to be with Blaise later on in good times or bad, he only wanted to be with him in good times, he wouldn't let Blaise have him in bad times. And I didn't like the message about changing yourself that both of these things sad. It just wasn't a pleasant romantic message to me. - When they get back together after the third act break up, I didn't like that their first hookup after was a kinky scene. I wanted them to just be together impulsively, without planning. The fact that they pause long enough to stage a scene and put all the kinks to play it's just so staged and inorganic to me. This is my bias/personal preferences coming into play, but I need kink to have a lesser presence in the relationship then it did in this particular book. I need it to not be the sole focus of every sexual encounter they share. I can't think of a sexual encounter they had were the kink wasn't the focus of their sexual encounter. I need the feelings at times to take precedence over the actions. It's so inorganic and cold to me when the feelings are never strong enough to overwhelm them. That they are always cool enough to play out a scene start to finish is just too cold to me. At least some of the time they just need to be together for the sake of being together because they are so desperate. The sex starts to seem like gymnastics to me, like a performance. It loses sensuality points. - I'm kind of annoyed that this book has encompassed the plot of so many other books in the related 2 series. I know this book stretched over the same time span as some of the other books. So I wanted to give it a pass. At first I was like oh this is kind of a nice shout out. But it just also got kind of repetitive. I've read all those stories before and I wish more of the plot from this particular book wasn't rehashing and repeating those other stories. - I didn't like the specific exhibitionism scene that we got at the end. I didn't like the direction that Lark took with it. I know that they both had a kink for exhibitionism. But I don't think it was executed in a romantic way. I really dislike how much their audience is participating in this exhibitionism. It's too much about the interaction, they were far too focused on talking about who as a person each of the observers were, and what they were thinking and doing as they watched Blaise and Toby, and how Blaise was watching them and how he felt about them. It needed to be more about Blaise and Toby. I found it distracted from their connection. I wish it was more anonymous, more spur of the moment as opposed to planned. That they were more focused on each other and didn't even notice that there were people around and how they were reacting to them. Some notable moments: "“Low, what did you do now?” Harlow’s head snapped around, and it was like a switch had been flipped. His anger and flames vanished as his mate appeared. “Why d’you always assume it’s me?” Bailey shot me a curious glance as he strolled across the kitchen and pulled Harlow into a rough embrace. “Baby, I love you, but it’s always you.”" "Squeezing the back of his neck, I leaned in close. “You okay?” Blaise swallowed. “Not sure the potential end of the world is something anyone can ever be okay with.” I squeezed him reassuringly. “Try not to worry. Shit like this always happens, world hasn’t ended yet.” “Only takes the once.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
|
May 17, 2024
|
May 19, 2024
|
Mar 03, 2024
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||
| B0CT18VNKW
| 4.22
| 2,521
| unknown
| Mar 21, 2024
|
it was ok
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: villain redemption, bi-awakening Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/c **spoiler alert** Tropes: villain redemption, bi-awakening Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: tons of sex with OM far too deep into the book - on page and rubbed in the other Mmc's face, panic attacks, homophobia, internalized homophobia, unsafe sex (which I especially thought was irresponsible given how sexually active Beau is / how many different partners he had, not getting tested before starting things with Max, having sex with others right up until the day he has sex with Max) I feel like I should start this with, I am a Cora fan. I love her books. Many of her books are comfort rereads that I love to revisit. But this book was an utter fail for me. Pains me to say it! Max is 30. He is Magnus's brother, and he's been homophobic in the past. He's upset by the estrangement between him and Magnus and he wants to get him back in his life. He starts questioning the homophobic culture he was raised in, he goes to therapy, he tries to educate and improve himself. He puts in the work. That leads him to hang out at a gay bar trying to understand people, where he meets Beau, a gay man who strikes up a talk and then a subsequent friendship with him. From the beginning he's attracted to Beau, he just doesn't know himself well enough to recognize it. Beau is 26. Out and with a very accepting family. He's never been in a relationship before, he's all about hookups. He starts up a friendship with Max kind of out of nowhere, you don't really understand what was driving his character to kind of reach out and need that connection. I'm a huge Cora fan. But this book was not for me. I wanted to dnf but I'm too OCD to leave books unfinished and I had hope that it would quickly get better. I'm okay with characters hooking up a lot and having a past. I'm not a prude, and I don't s*** shame. But it is a hard no for me, for it to play out the way that it did in this particular book. Beau's hookups basically took a hatchet to the love story and special connection that was developing between him and Max. I will say, it is very realistic in real life for Beau's sex life to play out the way it did. But this is a romance book. Who wants to read about a MMC constantly f******, lusting after, and even having romantic feelings for other people as the relationship and emotional connection is developing with the other MMC? And have the other MMC Max hear and see the hookups, get it rubbed in his face, when he has feelings for Beau? Definitely not slut shaming. But the way it played out is not a romance I want to read. And it seriously made me question whether Beau had deep enough feelings for Max if he could just fuck around the way he was. Even once Beau stopped having sex with other people, there were a lot of things that Beau thought and said where I really questioned his feelings for Max. I don't think Beau was a good match for Max. The book became more palatable once Beau stop hooking up with other people, but their relationship wasn't ever great to me. This book gave me such a book hangover in a bad way. I literally didn't want to even write the review because I didn't want to think more about what happened in this book because it was so ugly. So I'm literally going to write this review and then try not to think about this book and forget about it. Most Cora books are keepers for me and constant comfort rereads. There are some Cora books that I have read like five times. This one is a never again. My thoughts/reactions while reading this book: - The night Beau and Max met, they spent hours together talking and bonding. Forming a connection, smiling at each other. And Beau ends the night saying he's going to go find a hookup for the night. And he does. And even from the very beginning, that just took the wind out of Max's sails, hurt his feelings, and sat in an ugly pit in his stomach. - Over the next 2 weeks, Beau hooks up with a different person almost everyday. Every time he's talking to Max he's either just hooked up with someone, has a guy in his bed, is leaving Max to go have sex with somebody, or he's telling Max about his hookups and about how sore his ass is or how good the dick was. And yeah Max isn't in touch enough with his sexuality right away to recognize that he's attracted to Beau, and that what he's feeling is jealousy, but he sure feels hurt and like s***. It's painful to watch it play out. - It's not even just sex. Max sees that Beau really likes some of these guys, that they make him blush, that Beau is crushing on them, has history with some of them. Beau has feelings. He's also strongly lusting after these other guys. What he feels for Max doesn't feel special at all. - At 35%, there is on page sex between Beau and Diego, and Max sees them. Max later tells Beau that he saw it, Beau is embarrassed and says he's sorry Max saw, and Max says he found it sexy. I think Cora was trying to make Max witnessing all these things part of his sexual awakening but it was incredibly unnecessary for it to go this far and so long. I can't believe we were 35% in and this was still going on. And it was out of character for Max to make it sound like he wasn't hurt by the Diego hookup, because he was literally curled up in a ball sad after many of Beau's other hookups. It was also just so rude of Beau to hook up with Diego in this situation. He had taken Max home with him and they were hanging out as friends, and he literally ditched Max to go get railed by Diego. It's just bad form as a friend to ditch your friend in an unfamiliar place to go get laid, unless you have a really accepting friendship where this kind of thing is normal and encouraged. - Max has been celibate for 2 years. And at the 40% mark he finally decides to try to hook up with a woman. And he couldn't get hard with her, he could barely bring himself to kiss her. To me, Beau should have gotten to that same point - other men should have stopped working for him, he should have been so preoccupied with thoughts of Max that he wanted him. It didn't have to be right away, that wouldn't be realistic. But he was actively having sex with other people right up until the very day he hooked up with Max for the first time. I wanted to see that Beau had feelings and Max was on his mind, but he wasn't. There was never a point during this book where I felt like Beau loved Max, their relationship on Beau's side always just seemed sexual plus friendship. I didn't feel like Beau deserved Max or like he was a good match for Max or wanted the same things as Max. Beau always seems like he was reluctantly dragged along into a more committed relationship then what he wanted with Max. - fyi, first hook up at 42%. As soon as Max admitted he was attracted to Beau, they had a mutual masturbation session. First kiss wasn't until 57%. - At the 80% mark, Max wants them to move in together. Yeah they've only been together for 2 months or so, it's early. I could have understood if they had a rational conversation. I didn't like how it played out though. I don't like that Max has to beg and seem pitiful for Beau to agree to move in. It's like Beau doesn't have equal feelings and he gives in literally to avoid an argument, we see that in his POV. I don't feel like he deserves Max, he doesn't feel as deeply. It's an unequal emotional relationship. - At 85%, Max is telling Beau that he plans to put Beau on his house title. You really shouldn't do that at the two month mark. Max seems stupid. And the fact that Beau doesn't object makes him seem like a bit of a gold digger, he shouldn't just accept half of a house! Beau in my mind needs to contribute more to this relationship than just sex. Things I enjoyed: - Sem coming over to Max's house to threaten him, because he was worried about Max hurting Magnus emotionally. So in character for Sem! - all the times Sem and Magnus interacted, their happy family - Max calling Beau Bow-tie as a nickname - I know Max is a past villain but he's such a sweetheart. Max is a great mmc. I wish Beau had been a more deserving book boyfriend. This book could have been so much better if Beau had stronger feelings and the Beau/Max sex lives had played out more like Caleb and Whit had in one of Cora's past books. Some notable moments: Aw, sweet of Max to have that tender non-sexual need to touch Beau. "Max leans his forehead against my stomach and presses his lips to my skin, something he does every time he gets me off with his mouth. It makes butterflies flutter in my stomach without fail. It’s so tender, so sweet." Max is so sweet. "“I don’t ever want to sleep without you. Don’t make me do that again, Bow-tie,” I tell him, and he huffs a laugh. “I know, Max. I could tell by how you stood outside my bedroom door for hours.” “Not your bedroom. This isn’t your room, Bow-tie. This is a guest room and you’re not one. You’re mine. Mine. Label it whatever the fuck you want. If you want to get married, I’ll drive you to Vegas tomorrow and we’ll sign the certificate.”" "“I kind of want a flamethrower now,” I say, and Sem hears me. “It’s a good investment.” “It is a terrible idea. Do not let him have it,” Magnus chimes in. “Pretty soon, it’s not just a flamethrower but a potato gun and homemade bomb material.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
|
1
|
Mar 21, 2024
|
Mar 21, 2024
|
Feb 27, 2024
|
Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||||
| 9798989925605
| B0CSB8WQ35
| 3.99
| 1,220
| Jun 26, 2024
| Jun 26, 2024
|
it was amazing
|
**spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, hurt/comfort, small town, failed one night stand, found family Feels: 4.25/5 Steam*: 3.75/5 Kinks: brat, dom **spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, hurt/comfort, small town, failed one night stand, found family Feels: 4.25/5 Steam*: 3.75/5 Kinks: brat, dominance, snowballing, spanking Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: gang violence, grifting in childhood, Army medic/vet, ptsd, traumatic childhood, permanent disability/mute MC, grief over dead parent and sibling, gun violence, self-harm 4.5 stars Ford is 26. He's gay but closeted for the most part. He is mute and communicates via ASL and texts. When he was 8 years old or so his mother was murdered by an ex-boyfriend of hers and Ford himself was nearly killed, he was choked so badly that he suffered severe damage. He hasn't been able to talk since, though if he struggles he can force out some sounds and the occasional word. But it doesn't sound right and he's self-conscious about it. He was raised without his father but after his mother's death the state found his dad and his dad raised him. His dad was a bit of a loner, he suffered PTSD from being a war of veteran but he was a loving dad for the most part and he tried hard. His dad passed away a year ago suddenly at the age of 52 of a stroke. Ford has been struggling to make the car repair business that he took over from his father successful since then. Tristan is 32ish. He's bi or pan. He was raised by a bipolar mother who had him at 14 and she struggled with her mental health, addictions, horrible choice in men, and she was a grifter and criminal herself. He had a brother Conor who was deaf and quite a few years younger than him, who he raised for the most part. Tristan joined the military when he turned 18 so he could work as a medic and earn money, his intent was to try to provide for his brother once his brother turned 18 and could leave home. Unfortunately, the mother drew the son into some criminal shenanigans and he ended up killed at age 17. This haunts Tristan. Tristan eventually ended his military career and took a job as a paramedic in a small town to start over after some drama with his mother. They meet when Ford's shop gets robbed and his employee Silas gets stabbed. Tristan and Silas's boyfriend Cade are the responding paramedic and emt. Tristan is an extroverted flirt and he's instantly attracted to Ford who is a big built guy with startlingly attractive features to him. He flirts, he looks for excuses to spend time with him and it works. They both think that this could be a one and done hookup, but they want more so they start a casual FWB relationship but they care so much about each other that they slip into an actual relationship, even though neither of them are really ready or emotionally mature. They have some kinky hot times. But they are also starved for affection and they latch on to each other in a sweet way, they are each other's comfort. I'm so weak for that kind of dynamic! I was sold. I enjoyed this story. Like I said I'm so weak for this kind of dynamic that they shared. I loved all the times that they were soft with each other and just needed the other person and settled their wild emotions when they had that person near them. They're both very vulnerable characters even though they had very different personalities. I loved how protective Ford was even though he was so traumatized himself. And Tristan was so cool in times of crisis and he was such a solid person for Ford to have in his corner. He also really brought forward out of his shell. And I absolutely loved all of the appearances that Silas and Cade made. I had to hold myself back from quoting every funny moment with them, but there was a lot of moments where they stole the scene with their hilarious reactions. No other man or other woman drama. Things I didn't love: it was a little weird to me that Tristan spent $2,000 to have Ford repair his car. Is he made of money? It seemed like he brought that job up out of nowhere as an excuse to be closer to Ford, $2,000 is a pretty big commitment to spend time with a stranger you want to get to know, I'd rather have spent money on his broken down house then the car which seemed to be a second mode of transport as he also had a motorcycle. I also didn't love the trip they made to try to find Ford's dad's car, it was anti-climactic that they just returned home with nothing and really Tristan didn't have as solid of a lead to make it worth their time. Though he ended up being completely on the right track about where that car was. Some notable moments: This was a great description of intimacy. "There’s something incredibly intimate about it. Like we’ve created our own arousal echo chamber with nothing more than the sound of our breath: his raspy, throaty panting and grunts, and my hoarse, pitchy gasps that he punches out, one after the other, with every thrust." Cade and Silas were great! I loved the silent and judgy communication they shared without any words exchanged. "“I feel dizzy as fuck, Cujo. You might have to carry me.” Ford wraps his arms around my torso and lifts me like I’m a lot lighter than I am, which is dizzying in and of itself. But I don’t miss Cade and Silas turning to each other, Cade mouthing the word “Cujo?” and both of them sharing yet another look." I loved them just wanting to be close. "Without hesitation, he reaches over his shoulder to grab his shirt and whip it off before shimmying out of his pants and boxers in one movement. Before I know it, he’s slipping under the covers next to me and wrapping all his limbs around my body with a slight shudder. His face gets mushed into my shoulder, where I can’t see his eyes. That’s okay, though. I wrap my arms around him, careful not to disturb the bandage he just did, and squeeze him as tightly as I can." Cade exploding because he can't hold it in anymore and he needs the gossip was perfect. "Silas elbows him very subtly, but it’s not subtle when Cade flinches and scowls at his boyfriend. “No! You said I couldn’t say anything as long as they were pretending they weren’t together. They’re not pretending anymore.” He flaps his hands at both of us, where we’re leaning against the counter, shoulders pressed together but otherwise not touching. “This is bullshit. I’ve been patient. I need the tea!”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 27, 2024
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Jun 30, 2024
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Jan 29, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| B085N15GRY
| 3.80
| 1,045
| Mar 28, 2020
| Mar 28, 2020
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** SPOILER ALERT - I can't really review this book without commenting on a crap load of spoilers so this review has more spoilers than
**spoiler alert** SPOILER ALERT - I can't really review this book without commenting on a crap load of spoilers so this review has more spoilers than usual Tropes: forced proximity, second chances, enemies to lovers, revenge, magic, small town Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: rough and dirty sex, toys Angst: medium/high HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: violence, murder, CSA (incest), rape, gang rape, addiction/overdose/prostitution (minor character), drug use, abuse, porn, dyscalculia, suicide attempt, poverty, forced outing, driving drunk and high, homophobia Roach is 32, a biker, closeted. His mom was a hooker and died when he was young. Leaving him and his brother with his biker father. Roach AKA Reed was abused his entire life. When he was young his dad SA'd him often until he got big enough to fight back. Roach has in his adulthood been cowed by his dad and MC cronies, he's been a biker himself, he's done a lot of dirty work for the MC. One day Zane walks in to their bar to perform music. Roach is instantly attracted to him. Roach never hooks up with guys even though he's gay. He only hooks up with women out of fear. But he wants to risk it with Zane and hook up. After his performance, they hook up, but it ends badly when Zane tries to pickpocket Roach and outs Roach to the MC. Roach runs away from the confrontation that night and leaves Zane with the other bikers. Zane gets brutalized and raped. As he's left for dead, Zane manages to set fire to the bar and kill everyone inside. Someone takes Zane to the hospital. 2 years later, Zane is almost 30. He's traveling with two brothers he's in a band with. They're taking advantage of him because he has dyscalculia and can't understand money. He gets convinced to come back to the town where he was attacked to perform. He meets Roach again because he's a bouncer at the bar. Zane wants revenge on Roach, he hates him and blames him for what happened to him. Roach has no idea what went down and no idea Zane was responsible for the fire. Roach is glad that he has a second chance and all those people he hated are dead. He's living a clean life. He's poor and still closeted but he's making an honest living and he's a good person now. He wants another hook up with Zane. He doesn't hate Zane. But Zane sure hates him. They realize that they can feel each other's pain, so Zane is not going to be able to kill Roach until they separate themselves. Zane dumps his awful band mates and stays in town with Roach, moving in with him, trying to figure out what's going on and separate their lives. They quickly add f****** to their arrangement. Roach is happy as a clam to have Zane on any terms. It takes them months before they make any headway to what's going on. Over that time they get to know each other. Zane starts to understand Roach isn't the evil person he thought he was, and he gets fond of him begrudgingly. They don't have an easy ride. I won't spoil absolutely everything, but they do get a happily ever after. I like this book and I think it was well done. There was a lot of intensity to it. There was a lot of plot and character development and relationship building. It was nice that it was done slowly over time. I feel like the pages of this story were well spent in telling the story. It was dark and gritty. I empathize with both of the characters, and they fit well together. There wasn't much that I disliked. I think the authors were a little brief in their trigger warnings. I read this book while I was sick and miserable, and some of the topics were just very very dark. The things that I didn't like were really just my personal taste, and not the authors' writing. I don't like characters that drive under the influence so that just wasn't likeable to me. Give me a dark book where they commit murder and that's fine, but yeah I draw the line at driving under the influence. Also Zane attempted to cheat on Roach and forcibly outed Roach twice, that's not likeable to me. Some notable moments: "“Sooo…” Gale licked his parched lips. “Your new boyfriend stabbed you yesterday, and I’m the one making bad life choices?”" Roach was so good to Zane without asking for anything "“…I’ll work it out somehow, I promise, we’ll get you the best rehab. I just… Zane’s got no savings, and I don’t wanna tell him that Culver pays him peanuts. He’s always so happy when he talks about his earnings. It would crush him. He’s got this problem with numbers, but he’d never admit it, he’s too self-conscious about it. I just went with it so he wouldn’t be embarrassed, and… fuck. If you knew what a doormat I am, you’d laugh at me so hard.”" I love how Roach described Zane, and Roach always came back for more "Like a human slot machine. Could get sex and a cuddle, could get a punch in the nuts." "A new tattoo. The size of Reed’s palm, it depicted a cockroach with wings spread to create the shape of a heart. Reed was so shocked he opened a message from Zane without thinking. It read, [Roachie <3] Reed should’ve been mad at Zane for marking his body without asking, he knew he should, but it was impossible, because the ink meant Zane now also had a roach on his heart. Right where it belonged." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 17, 2024
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Jan 19, 2024
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Jan 09, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| B0BV7FL8PB
| 4.06
| 5,267
| Feb 01, 2024
| Feb 01, 2024
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it was amazing
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: enemies to lovers, secret relationship, hurt/comfort, small town, opposites attract Feels: 4.5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: role play **spoiler alert** Tropes: enemies to lovers, secret relationship, hurt/comfort, small town, opposites attract Feels: 4.5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: role play, mild degradation, dirty talk, docking Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: Gangs, violence, bullying, panic attacks, drugs, forced drugging, homophobia, bad parents 4.5 stars, it was a fun read Silas and Blaine are 18. Blaine is the golden boy, a star athlete, very involved in the community, a great student, son of the mayor. He's a virgin, he doesn't drink or do drugs. Silas is trailer park trash to most people, his dad and brother are in jail, his family is gang affiliated and he's likely to join the gang soon, he does jobs for the gang including drug deals. Silas is a good son and a good person at heart though. He's not really fit for the life he's stuck with. They met 3 years ago at school. Blaine was instantly fascinated by Silas but he wasn't self-aware enough to recognize that feeling was attraction. They got off on the wrong foot and they have had a relationship based on hate, exchanging barbs and shoving at each other ever since. A fight on the outskirts of a party one night of shoving turns sexual. They kiss and get each other off, and they both love it, and they tumble into an ongoing hate f****** relationship. They hook up in secret for many weeks maybe months. They start to talk and feelings start to grow. People start to find out about them and Blaine's home life blows up on him and Silas is there for him. The big conflict is can their relationship survive corrupt interference and the end of high school, with Blaine moving out of town for school and Silas needing to commit to the gang he's in. I really liked this book. There was great animosity between the characters. The animosity lasted for a good hunk of time. There was good tension between them. They had explosive chemistry together. I like the slow build of feelings creeping in. It's funny that even when they hated each other and even from their first hookup, they kept sneaking in goodbye kisses after they hooked up. They really couldn't help themselves. I liked them becoming so possessive and protective of one another. I usually am not a huge fan of high school books but this was enjoyable. I'm intrigued by the idea of Whaley and Bunky getting a book next. Some notable moments: "We’re at our spot in the camper, sitting on the run-down pull-out couch tucked by the back of the space. We’re hip to hip, Silas’ arm wrapped around me—trapped between the couch and my back—with his fingers hooked around my belt loop. My head rests on his shoulder, and every now and then my lips wander to nip at the freckles on his throat, but he’s been ignoring me." Their texts are funny "Me: Be careful. I might think you like me or something. Asshole: Fuck off. I’ll have your ass tomorrow. Me: Don’t you mean ‘see’? Asshole: I said what I said." "Asshole: You done yet? I’m horny and wanna fuck. Two seconds later, he sends another message. Asshole: Fine, also I miss you. Hurry up and get over here so we can cuddle or some shit." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 02, 2024
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Feb 02, 2024
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Dec 20, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0CLKZSKKM
| 4.03
| 2,180
| unknown
| Mar 07, 2024
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liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: FWB to lovers, bi awakening, miscommunication, found family Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: mild bdsm Angst: low HEA: yes Pairin **spoiler alert** Tropes: FWB to lovers, bi awakening, miscommunication, found family Feels: 3/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: mild bdsm Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: dead parents, unsupportive family, bad exes, miscommunications, low self-esteem, body image issues, possible undiagnosed dyslexia and neurodivergence River is 24 and working in construction and stripping to make ends meet. He's a twin and very close to his brother Zane. River believes in soulmates and wants to find his special person, especially because his friends have been Lucky in Love around him. He keeps communicating poorly with people though, misaligning, and getting blown off. Then his tools are stolen out of his trunk and he needs to shop around for cheap tools. He decides to advertise on a dating app that he's looking for tools just as one other place to try to find tools, and he meets up with Hayden. River thinks he's straight by the way. Hayden is gay, about 27ish and a teacher. He has tools he doesn't use so he offers them up for sale. They start talking and doing favors for each other and it evolves to them hanging out and being friends. Hayden thinks this is leading up to dating and kisses River. River realizes he's bi. He wants a serious relationship but when Hayden says he's really just looking for casual, they agree to be friends with benefits. Hayden's not really so much looking for casual as he is extremely insecure with low self-esteem and not thinking he deserves more, not thinking he should try asking for more with a person as out of his league as he thinks River is. They get really close. I think most people would find this a pretty decent book. It's likable characters. An emotional connection is developed as well as physical. The characters are complex. There are some deep things said about love and relationships in this book, so it doesn't glorify insta love and show love in an unrealistic way. There's a nice cast of characters in the background that are supportive. I didn't love it though. I hate the miscommunication trope. And this one was a unique take on miscommunication that made it doubly bad. They both over communicated and miscommunicated. What I mean by that is they talked a ton about all kinds of things even tough topics and very very personal things. So they're clearly wasn't a hesitance to communicate, yes they still failed to talk about particular things and that created a lot of conflict intention in their relationship. They talk so much and over analyze. I appreciate communication and when characters are mature about things and not little babies. But this book is a lot of talking and I'm not feeling emotions coming off of them. So the words don't have the feeling behind them to back it up and they feel artificial and forced. Over communication could have also then excessive use of dialogue on the author's part, which made the story read a bit awkwardly. The author probably could have been a bit more subtle with what of the story, thoughts and feelings were conveyed via dialogue versus outside of dialogue. Sometimes it's better and more natural for the reader to learn certain things outside of dialogue. If you force everything to be in dialogue it seems like the characters are sharing too much in awkward way. Also, the self-esteem stuff that Hayden was struggling with was a little tough on my heart to read. So, a hard book for me to enjoy. Some notable moments: Book lovers around the world are relating to hard "River: it’s a good movie Hayden: You watched it? River: my friends little sister loves it. We watched it one night when we were babysitting. I liked it. A full staff, singing dishes and a castle you get to live in rent free? Sign me up! Hayden: Right! Add in the library and I’m not a captive, I’m a squatter." "Nick: can I be an honorary part of the crew? Maybe a supervisor? Nick: I just wanna wear a cool hat and hold a clipboard and look like Im important Gray: how about our mascot" "Being in love wasn’t some sudden thing that hit out of nowhere and took your breath away. It was a thousand tiny moments that built on each other until you couldn’t breathe without them." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 08, 2024
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Mar 09, 2024
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Dec 01, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0CP1JYLHT
| 4.17
| 1,111
| unknown
| Feb 14, 2024
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liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: fake dating, enemies to lovers Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: noncon, dubcon, bondage, toys Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM T **spoiler alert** Tropes: fake dating, enemies to lovers Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: noncon, dubcon, bondage, toys Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: rape, depression, panic attacks, disassociation, dead parents, violence, murder, sex with other after the MCs hook up, not cheating but OM drama in a hurtful/interfering way 3 stars is probably being generous, but I do like the author and I did start liking the book at the 70% mark. Nate is 23 and working in a car shop while doing some illegal street racing on the side. He has a lot of mental health concerns, he's depressed, has panic attacks, had to raise his sister after his parents died, has had a lot of pressure on him and he's been a people pleaser as a result. He doesn't take care of himself well. Kaz is in the Brumal Mafia and his last year of college. He's 20. He has a whole bunch of neurodivergent characteristics, he can't understand feelings. With his friends getting into close relationships, he feels insulted that they don't think he could be in a relationship. He decides to fake date someone to show them. And he sets his sights on Nate. Nate and Kaz met after Kaz bet on Nate in a race, only for Nate to lose him a bunch of money. Kaz takes his misplaced anger out on Nate and rapes him. A couple weeks pass where they have nothing to do with each other, Nate rejected Kaz's advances. Kaz resumes hooking up with his f*** buddy of many years Zane. Then Nate and Kaz interact some more and Kaz decides not to let Nate push him away and coerces him into fake dating him. But with real sex. And then not so fake dating. Honestly this book is a bit of a train wreck until the 70% mark where the couple finally start to make a bit of sense as a couple. I like this author's world building usually and I like the intense relationships she creates between the characters, but this book didn't really work for me until the 70% mark and even then I was still disappointed. I felt like I couldn't settle into this story and get excited about the relationship. These characters felt like they didn't belong together for the longest time, like they were square pegs trying to go into a round hole. Have you ever had the feeling where you want to grab a hanger that an outfit is resting on and just shake the hanger until the clothes hang properly? That's how I felt with this book. But no matter how I shook it, the couple didn't fall into place. It didn't seem like Nate was either attracted to or liked Kaz for over 60% of the book. Kaz was messy for a long time about what he wanted with Nate. I preferred Kal and the other Devils of Vitality because they were less wishy-washy and they knew what they wanted, they were very focused on their man. Kaz is really slow to get there and it makes the dynamic between Nate and Kaz less appealing / endearing / intense. Kaz and Nate just couldn't get on the same page, they didn't want the same things, they couldn't communicate and understand each other. They just seemed so incompatible. There were a lot of little moments where that just stood out. Like at the 55% mark, Nate is literally going soft because Kaz is doing something he doesn't like. They weren't both wanting it. At the 60% mark, they're like, giving up on their communication saying this is getting us nowhere. At the 65% mark, Nate is once again turned off by what Kaz is doing. Minor annoyance - When Kaz inserts himself into Nate's movie night with his sister Neve, you really have to suspend disbelief about how that night plays out. Kaz really thought Nate and his sister were going to a porno and bought tickets to the wrong movie?! Who the hell goes to a p**** with their sibling? The author should have played this scene as Kaz deliberately separating Nate from his sister and not him just being dumb. And they spent the duration of the movie banging in a private room and then casually joining Neve and her boyfriend for dinner after? Awkward. Another minor annoyance - I like this author's world building. But she should have mentioned an "onus" before randomly springing it on us at the 86% mark out of nowhere. She built up to the idea of a possessio and a consort much better in the other Devils of Vitality books. Typos annoyed me too. Covey should be convey, access should be excess, discrete should be discreet, rouge should be rogue. At about the 70% mark, the couple did start to show that they actually had feelings for each other. They started to communicate a little bit better and negotiate their relationship more successfully. Kaz started to show that he could care for Nate and partner him. And Nate had some moments where he stood up for himself and showed that he could stand the brumal Mafia life. This book wasn't all negative either, there were some funny moments and steamy moments. There were some moments where I was reminded about what I like from this author. But this wasn't the best written book of hers and Nate/Kaz weren't her best couple. About the other man drama... Kaz had sex with his f*** buddy of many years Zane after having sex with / raping Nate. Yeah Nate and Kaz were not together and Nate wanted nothing to do with Kaz, it wasn't cheating, but still icky. But what made the other man drama annoying was that Kaz confided in Zane about Nate, talking about his relationship with Nate behind Nate's back with his fuck buddy. And of course Zane had bad intentions, and he interfered with their relationship and rubbed his relationship with Kaz in Nate's face and tried to hurt him and mess with their relationship. I dislike that type of drama, no no for me. I wanted Kaz to just stab Zane dead when he interfered, it would have been in character for Kaz given the other people he killed for Nate. I don't want to see a redemption arc for Zane, I don't really care that Zane helped out when Nate was in danger. Some notable moments: "That wasn’t even getting into the sounds…Good Light. The shortness of breath as Nate had struggled to contain himself and hide that he was enjoying it had been so hot. And later, once he’d lost his mind and come completely undone for Kaz, the tiny mewling noises…It’d been pitiful and filled with vulnerability, and Kazimir was ninety-nine percent certain he’d never heard anything as beautiful in his entire life. And he wanted to hear it again. Right the fuck now." A sweet moment "He’d hesitated at the side of the bed this morning for a good five minutes before giving in and leaning over to plant a soft kiss against Kaz’s plush lips. The younger guy had come alive beneath him, nipping and kissing him back almost immediately." "“Does your boyfriend really deserve this kind of loyalty?” Hernan asked, and since he’d know, Nate told the truth. “No,” he confirmed. “He really doesn’t. My boyfriend is an asshole.” “Then why not just give us his name? We’ll take care of him for you.” “I said he was an asshole,” he reiterated. “I didn’t say I wasn’t into that sort of thing.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 14, 2024
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Feb 14, 2024
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Nov 27, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0CKRCBYZS
| 4.47
| 3,315
| Nov 14, 2023
| Nov 14, 2023
|
it was amazing
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: fake dating, forced proximity, secret relationship, hate to love Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairin **spoiler alert** Tropes: fake dating, forced proximity, secret relationship, hate to love Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: grief, drowning death of twin brother as a kid, bad parents, mental health problems 4.5 stars Steph is 25 and Quinn is 34. When Steph was 15 his twin brother died in an accident and Steph hasn't been the same since mentally. He has nightmares. He has these attacks. He reinvented himself into this always smiling, superficial persona. He doesn't let people see him. Quinn is a former Olympic swimmer and now he teaches swimming to people with special needs. Steph used to have a crush on him when he was a swimmer. But Quinn was an a****** to him the first time they met and he lost the rose colored glasses. Once they realized that they had friends in common, Steph tried to avoid him and has been politely hostile and guarded around Quinn, trying to not let on how much Quinn irks him. They exist on the periphery of each other's lives for years. And then some bad timing causes Quinn's family to think they are boyfriends. Steph agrees to play along and spend some time with Quinn and his family. There's a slow burn of growing sexual tension between them that finally bursts around the 50% mark when a moment of jealousy pushes them over the edge. Steph tries to keep it at just a one night stand. But Quinn is persistent and won't let it end. They start hooking up regularly, keeping their relationship a secret from their friend group. They have explosive chemistry together. And even in the hottest moments, there's an air of tenderness creeping in there, like full body contact, wrapping arms around each other, meaningful eye contact, etc. I love when it's not just smut and there's a real connection and feeling there, where they aren't just another hookup to each other. But Steph is a tough nut to crack, and he's not ready to open up about his past. So they have difficulty making the jump into a deep relationship. I really liked this book. They had a great build up of animosity and bickering and exchanging of barbs. And then Quinn decided he was going to get what he wants Steph, and not let Steph run away. And they were just explosive together. I liked the humor and sarcasm that the author infused this book with. I really like their friend group and that type of humor. This book was not light-hearted and it needed the comic relief. It dealt with some really serious s***. I cried. What happened to Steph's brother was so sad. I like that in this book we got dual pov. The first book in this series was single POV One thing that didn't make sense to me was how angry got at Steph on/around the anniversary of his brother's death. Quinn had just found out about the brother's death, and his first reaction to Steph pulling away from him during his time of grief, was to chase him down and yell at him, get into a screaming match berating? That didn't fit. Quinn should have been hugging his little porcupine and being understanding. Some notable moments: "I pat him on the chest. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. That dream wedding you told me all about last night sounds wonderful. And it’s sweet you have a binder with all the details planned out. And those inspiration photos you showed me where you’ve cut off the model’s head and photoshopped your own there instead just really showcased your vision. It’s nice that you care so deeply about it.”" "“I don’t hate him,” I repeat. “I’m ambivalent.” They’re still staring. “It’s mutual,” I say defensively. “Some people just don’t click. He finds me difficult to tolerate. And I find him more palatable in moderation,” I add, even though it’s starting to feel a bit like the lady doth protest too much. “Like wasabi.” “You hate wasabi,” Jude points out. “No. I’m fine with wasabi as long as it’s not anywhere near me." The bargaining that they are doing! LOL "“Okay, fine. I’ll make you a deal. This technically still counts as the same night of our one-night stand, since you didn’t leave. So let’s get back to bed and fuck once more. For old time’s sake.” “Tempting,” he says. “But no. Not until you go on a date with me.” “Well, I won’t.” He shrugs. “Then I won’t sleep with you again.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 05, 2024
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Feb 05, 2024
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Nov 15, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0BM7X9WFJ
| 4.10
| 55,009
| Aug 31, 2023
| Aug 31, 2023
|
liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: secret relationship, hate to love, genius artist/goth Barbie, artist/muse Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4.5/5 Kinks: somnophilia, dubco **spoiler alert** Tropes: secret relationship, hate to love, genius artist/goth Barbie, artist/muse Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4.5/5 Kinks: somnophilia, dubcon, knife play, blood play Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MF Triggers/potential icks/content themes: kidnapping, mute due to trauma, panic attacks, unsafe sex, antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder. 2.75 stars Mia Sokolov is 18. She's a twin and a mafia princess. She had a traumatic incident as a child, she was kidnapped and beaten. She has been mute ever since then, unable to talk because of mental blocks she's put up. She is an ass kicking goth princess who takes no b*******. Landon King is 23. He's narcissistic and antisocial. He's manipulative of those around him. He puts on a mask to fool people into thinking that he's normal. His family knows very well about his nature. Mia is mad at Landon at the start of the book over Landon's rivalry with Nikolai her brother. Landon has hurt her brother. She wants to punish Landon and she gets revenge for her family on him. But she also catches his attention with that revenge and Landon becomes interested in her as an artistic Muse. She also attracts his sexual attention. They have kinks in common. They start a secret sexual relationship and keep it on going for many many weeks. They have trouble transitioning from hookups to a public relationship because of Landon's past with the Heathens. Mia also doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who can't care about her, she thinks Landon is incapable of loving her and she doesn't want to be in a one-sided relationship. So Landon has to put in some work to develop his empathy skills and express emotions better. They have a lot of gaps to bridge before people would accept their relationship. And Mia has a lot of past trauma resurfacing, that she's having to confront in the present. I liked this story well enough. The relationship between Mia and Landon was nice. MIA was a likable character. Landon was a narcissistic a****** and he was annoying to listen to. Every time I heard his POV and how he talked about himself in the third person and with such extreme narcissism I wanted to smack him. So I enjoyed this book a lot less than I could have because of how unlikeable Landon was. There were also a bunch of typos and errors in expressions that just got on my nerves. There were bad choices made about what to show on page versus what to skip over. I really felt in this book that I was starting to get bored and annoyed with the way that Rina has been talking about the same events in every single book just from a different character's perspective. It's getting very repetitive, and there's no surprises because we know everything that's happened already. It's not subtle. I kind of prefer the way that the RES series was told, because each story was more independent and it felt like more was happening and you were seeing a fuller picture of the things that were happening. With the way that she's telling the Legacy of Gods stories, the things that she's showing you in each book are still hiding things because she's saving it for someone else's story. It makes the books less satisfying and less of a standalone read. So freaking repetitive. Things I liked: - I loved all the NikoBran moments - I loved when Bran covered for Mia so seamlessly when Nikolai called him. Bran was the best friend in that moment. - I liked how Landon improved the haunted house where they were meeting so that Mia would feel better spending time there. He made it brighter because she was afraid of the dark. He took care of the yard and put in materials so she could do gardens because she had an affinity for plants. Even at a time when they broke up he was taking care of the plants and the yard that she cared so much about. - I liked that Landon learned sign language for her so early in the relationship because he wanted to understand her. - I like that Landon was so fine with outing their relationship and taking the heat that he was going to get for sleeping with Nikolai's younger sister. - I liked Mia for being ballsy and breaking up with Landon this way: "Mia: I’m bored. We’re done. Then I block his number and his IG." - I loved Kyle hating Landon instantly and threatening him and trying to get rid of him. Things I didn't like: - Rina makes typos and uses the wrong words sometimes / uses idioms incorrectly. She uses a similarly spelled but wrong word accidentally a bunch of times. It's like she was trying to use a common phrase but remembered it wrong and used just the wrong word. - The unrealistic moments of sign language communication. At one point she's on his lap with her back to his chest and signing and he can somehow see exactly what she's saying with her hands. - The author makes bad decisions about what scenes to actively play out on page versus which seems to have characters summarize / talk about. Some of the most tense and emotionally charged moments get skipped over and just talked about later. And this happens over and over again. It kills the tension and buildup and takes away moments that would have been climactic or emotionally satisfying. - Landon's POV was painful to read. He was such a narcissistic character that the way that he spoke about himself and others was just so egotistical and awkward. It was so unlikable. You can't empathize when you just want to beat the guy for thinking the things that go through his head. He was likable enough when he was feeling emotion towards Mia though. I did like his intentness on her. Some notable moments: Aw, I love the way Mia eats "The process is even weirder since I made those while she was slumbering, watering—and talking to—plants, or eating like a weirdly adorable food monster." Go Mia! I love when an FMC takes an overconfident a****** MMC down a peg! "I jam my knee between her legs. “Besides, I can keep you satisfied.” She lifts her chin. “One cock isn’t enough, I’m afraid. I like variety.” Now, it’s my mood that takes a sharp dive to a black inky well of nothingness, even worse than when I saw her selfie with him. “What the fuck did you just say?”" "Mia speaks two words in her sleep and I’m ready to impregnate her with my fucking child so she’ll have no way out." *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 13, 2023
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Nov 14, 2023
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Nov 14, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 4.18
| 75,525
| Nov 17, 2022
| Nov 17, 2022
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really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: stalker romance, secret relationship, enemies to lovers Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4.5/5 Kinks: primal kink, dubcon, dirty talk, ro **spoiler alert** Tropes: stalker romance, secret relationship, enemies to lovers Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4.5/5 Kinks: primal kink, dubcon, dirty talk, rough sex Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MF Triggers/potential icks/content themes: sexual assault, unsafe sex, being f***ed with a gun, dissociation, mental health, sensory issues, violence, drugging Reread - Jan. 27, 2024. Wanted to revisit a story I enjoyed. I like Jeremy and Cecily's story. They are probably my second favorite LOG couple after NikoBran. There's something so addictive and compelling about this author's stories. But there's also a bunch of missteps in her writing that I kind of have to force myself to overlook, it's too bad, a little more critical of an editor could nip some bad habits and really elevate her. I have a bit of editing experience from university newspaper days and I'm on the autism spectrum so my weird brain just sees things critically and sees these patterns. Cecily Knight is 20. She was drugged, assaulted, and nearly raped by her high school boyfriend. She didn't tell anyone because her boyfriend had nude pictures of her and was blackmailing her. She has not been mentally healthy since then, she dissociates and spaces out. She's gotten the reputation of being a prude and a no fun mother hen, because she doesn't want to get drunk and lose control like when she was drugged and she doesn't want herself or her friends to be taken advantage of. She's been assaulted so she knows the dangers that are out there. Secretly she has dark sexual kinks. She has a crush on Landon King. It's unrequited. He uses her to spy on the Heathens initiation and gather intel. At the initiation she catches the attention of Jeremy Volkov. Jeremy is 24. He's Adrian's son. He's the leader of the Heathens and will be a leader in the mafia in the future. He's also the older brother of Cecily's friend Annika. Jeremy is fascinated with her though he doesn't show it in any emotional way, he's very closed off emotionally. He starts watching her. They start a sexual relationship and keep it secret for many weeks. It turns into a relationship. But they have a lot of struggles in their path. Overall I liked this story. Jeremy was an intense character. I loved his stalker intensity about Cecily. I love a character that is so cold and closed off emotionally but is secretly an inferno of feeling for his woman. His possessiveness, protectiveness, and obsession with her was top tier. Things I liked: - I liked when Cecily told Jeremy that she is not interested in ownership, she's interested in a relationship. - Jeremy being so unfeeling, unable to be a normal human and be anywhere close to social or approachable, but being so fascinated at every hint of feelings from Cecily. Like when he was trying to understand the heart emoji she sent him , him staring at her as she reacted to Maya and got jealous / hurt, him leaping on her using the word feelings and just tonelessly asking "you have feelings for me?" like he couldn't compute. - I love how Jeremy silently stalks her to get his fix, reassure himself she is safe, and to protect her and punish those that treat her bad. He does this before they get together, while they're together, and while they're broken up. He either stalks her himself or has someone do it. He has it baaaad - I love how protective Xander was of his daughter Cecily. His comments about her potentially being a lesbian, his threats to potential boyfriends, his pulling a gun on Jeremy, and his texts to his friend group chat panicking over Cecily getting a boyfriend were hilarious. Things I didn't like: - I get that they were trying to draw parallels between Adrian/Lia's relationship and Jeremy/Cecily's, but at times it came off as recycling the original story. Like not only did both women suffer from dissociation and go into ghost States, both women also suffered attempted sexual assaults and Jeremy even saved Cecily from getting hit by a car just like Adrian saved Lia. - Page 320 / Jeremy being mad over how Cecily treated Annika - I think Rina's trying not to mention too much about Annika and Creighton's story here, but she's mentioned so little that the average reader, especially if reading this as a standalone, won't know what she's referring to, won't understand why Jeremy is mad. This is after Annika shot Creighton. Cecily hasn't commented in her internal monologue much about what has been going on with Annika other than that she's not there. Mistake to be so vague. - When Jeremy doesn't hide his worst deeds from Cecily and tells her the kind of person he is, telling her a bit about the murdering and torturing he's done. And Cecily's reaction is to be okay with it and say I like being open-minded. What the f*** girlfriend!? It's okay if she's okay with murder, this is a dark romance I know she's going to accept him, but that just wasn't a believable reaction. - There was some cheesy over the top dialogue and a couple typos and putting the wrong characters name in certain spots. Some notable moments: Cecily thinks she's going to get murdered and this is the exchange they have. Jeremy is so startled it's hilarious. "What he doesn’t know is that I refuse to go down without a fight. “Fuck me first,” I whisper, my voice so low that I barely hear it. His entire being pauses, like when I slapped his hand earlier. “Fuck you first?” he repeats slowly, almost as if he’s tasting the words on his tongue." Drunk Ava is great "Ava trails off, and blinks upon seeing me standing behind them. “Oh, hi, Anni’s scary brother. Do you also party here? Good taste, good taste. Also, can you let Anni live a little? Thanks in advance.”" The sparkling heart emoji scene!! "I keep staring at that emoji longer than I did the first one. “Is something wrong?” Ilya asks from his position behind the steering wheel. “What does a sparkling heart emoji mean?” Ilya stares at me for a beat, looking stunned for the first time ever, before he focuses back on the road. “Uh, don’t all the heart emojis mean love and affection?” “But it has sparkles around it. They should mean something else.”" Go Cecily! Love her messing with Jeremy "“Why?” I strain. “You don’t like to imagine another man peeling my clothes off and sinking inside me while I moan for him?” “Stop.” “I’ll beg him to go faster, harder. I’ll say his name, too. Actually, I’ll moan it.” “Shut the fuck up.”" I love how Jeremy's mind immediately goes to murder. And Cecily can read him so well! "His fingers pause in my hair before resuming their rhythm. It’s a fraction of a second, but I feel the change and deduce his line of thinking. “Jeremy, no.” He raises a brow. “I didn’t say anything.” “You didn’t have to. I can see it in your eyes that you plan to torture Jonah some more in prison, maybe take it to the next level and kill him.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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2
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Jan 25, 2024
Nov 12, 2023
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Jan 27, 2024
Nov 13, 2023
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Nov 14, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0B64FCB23
| 3.91
| 70,603
| Sep 15, 2022
| Feb 2023
|
really liked it
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**spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, adopted boy/mafia princess Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: rough sex, BDSM, toys Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: **spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy/sunshine, adopted boy/mafia princess Feels: 3.5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: rough sex, BDSM, toys Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MF Triggers/potential icks/content themes: dub-con, suicidal thoughts, unsafe sex, murder/violence, kidnapping, near death experience, drugging Creighton King is 20. He was adopted by Aidan and Elsa when he was 3 years old. His dad was murdered by Adrian Volkov and his mother committed suicide and tried to kill Creighton along with her. He was saved. Creighton has always been grumpy, antisocial, and he is wanting revenge for what happened to him when he was three. He has good relationships with his family. He's a sadist sexually. Annika Volkov is 17. She is a spoiled, sheltered Mafia princess. But she's one of the sweetest, kindest, and most innocent girls. She's a bit OCD and she struggles with depression sometimes. She loves ballet like her mother Lia did. But she's not sure if she wants to make it a career. She's very girly, she loves the color purple, she's such a horrible cook that people call her a food terrorist. Annika is sweet, transparent, and vulnerable. She meets Creighton through her friends and crushes on him for a while before he notices her. When he realizes his attraction to her and wants to pursue her, Annika insists on dates and being treated with the respect she deserves outside of the bedroom. What I liked and what I disliked are below. Overall I liked this pretty well. Some of the things I didn't like were poor plotting choices. But I had a lot of fondness towards the characters she's developed and the relationships between them. Adrian is one of, if not the best Rina Kent men. What do I like: - Seeing Adrian again as the most devoted family man, so possessive and protective of his family. - Seeing Adrian and Creighton Bond over there jealousy of Yan hanging out with their women. - Bran trying to free Nikolai when he was kidnapped and gently touching his hair. - Bran FaceTiming Creighton primarily to see his cute kitten - Aiden and Creighton both eating Elsa's horrible cooking like troopers, because they don't want to hurt her feelings over how bad of a cook she is. - And it's adorable how Creighton takes that and does the same thing with Annika's cooking. - The way that Creighton isn't into social media, but he starts an IG, but the only pictures he posts are him and Annika after they have sex, with extremely possessive captions declaring her his. Things I didn't like: - Page 208 - Creighton is coming off predatory and objectifying RIGHT as he is realizing he has fallen for her. He's ignoring what she's saying and ogling her, and in the next moment he says in his internal monologue how it's not just sex with her. You're ogling her and not listening! - Page 286 - Nikolai trying to sacrifice himself so that he can't be used against Jeremy. I know it's supposed to be nice of him, but it was so sudden it was out of place, they were still in the talking stage of their confrontation. He didn't need to go so hard! - How Creighton spoke to Annika during the week or so he had her kidnapped. Dumb f***ery. He wants her back. We know that. He orchestrated this whole thing to get her back. And now he's talking about retaliation and how no one will be able to save her from him. Why is he using this threatening language when he doesn't actually want to threaten her? He is so savage to her, how can he expect to woo her like this? It's dumb Some notable moments: "“We haven’t gone on a date,” I say. Annika flinches in my hold, but she forces one of her loathsome fake smiles. “Yeah, it’s not what you guys think. No date.” “Not one date. Dates.” Everyone stares at me, dumbfounded, Annika included." Ooh, what did Remi see?! And LOL to Landon immediately asking for details. "Landon: Bran wins all the time. You don’t see him flaunting his dick for anyone to see. Isn’t that right @Brandon King? Remington: Or that’s what you think *laughing out loud emoji* *winking emoji* *side eye emoji* Landon: Details? Remington: Let’s just say Bran surprised my lordship and it takes a lot to do that. Brandon: Shut up, Remi." Papa Adrian! "“You’re coming with us,” Papa cuts him off. “W-why?” I stammer. Please don’t tell me he’s taking him back to kill him as he promised. “I’m sure your mother would like to meet him.” “Oh… Oh!” I say again with a grin. “Does that mean you approve of us, Papa?” “No,” he says bluntly. “But I would rather have this little fuck under surveillance so I can end him before he attempts anything funny.”" *FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink. **Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 10, 2023
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Nov 11, 2023
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Nov 10, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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Jane aka Coughy019
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mental-health
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my rating |
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| 4.10
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it was ok
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Jun 22, 2024
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Jun 22, 2024
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| 4.05
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liked it
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Jun 19, 2024
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Jun 15, 2024
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| 4.44
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it was amazing
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Jun 05, 2024
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Jun 04, 2024
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| 4.29
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liked it
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May 12, 2024
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Apr 24, 2024
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| 4.44
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really liked it
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Apr 23, 2024
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Apr 21, 2024
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| 4.02
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really liked it
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Apr 08, 2024
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Apr 07, 2024
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| 4.13
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really liked it
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Apr 07, 2024
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Apr 04, 2024
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| 3.97
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really liked it
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Aug 25, 2024
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Mar 15, 2024
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| 4.35
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it was amazing
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Apr 27, 2024
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Mar 15, 2024
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| 4.22
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liked it
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May 19, 2024
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Mar 03, 2024
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| 4.22
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it was ok
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Mar 21, 2024
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Feb 27, 2024
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| 3.99
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it was amazing
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Jun 30, 2024
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Jan 29, 2024
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| 3.80
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really liked it
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Jan 19, 2024
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Jan 09, 2024
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| 4.06
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it was amazing
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Feb 02, 2024
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Dec 20, 2023
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| 4.03
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liked it
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Mar 09, 2024
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Dec 01, 2023
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| 4.17
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liked it
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Feb 14, 2024
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Nov 27, 2023
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| 4.47
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it was amazing
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Feb 05, 2024
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Nov 15, 2023
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| 4.10
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liked it
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Nov 14, 2023
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Nov 14, 2023
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| 4.18
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really liked it
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Jan 27, 2024
Nov 13, 2023
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Nov 14, 2023
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| 3.91
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really liked it
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Nov 11, 2023
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Nov 10, 2023
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