I’ve been eagerly anticipating Jen Devon’s next book ever since finishing the beautifully angsty Bend Toward the Sun. This is a slow burn second chancI’ve been eagerly anticipating Jen Devon’s next book ever since finishing the beautifully angsty Bend Toward the Sun. This is a slow burn second chance romance, laden with pining. It’s best to read BTtS first to get the full effect, otherwise readers might get lost.
Let me first say I really enjoyed this. It’s a strong sophomore effort that could have used another round of developmental edits to address logistical issues so it could really shine. But even when I was confused, I was very into Duncan and Temperance’s dynamic. I was rooting for them. I believed in their chemistry and their love for each other just as much as I believed they needed to get out of their own way. It was a joy to see the Brady family again and see what was happening with the vineyard.
I also appreciated that this is a second chance romance without many flashbacks. I have to wonder, however, if there’s a version of the manuscript where flashbacks were initially included because I have a lot of questions about what happened when they broke up. There are some hints here and there throughout the book but they never really hash it out so I’m still confused about what actually went down. (view spoiler)[Her parents paid him to stay away but he wasn’t planning on staying away but then she didn’t show up when they were supposed to meet up that night. So is that when they broke up, because she didn't show up for some reason? Also he never told her about what her parents did and then I’m not 100% sure how her chronic illness factors in, in part because we’re never clearly told what it is. It’s a blood platelet disorder but which one? How did it affect her after the diagnosis vs. now when it seems like something she just has to be aware of? It’s a factor in the breakup, at least on Duncan’s side because he worried about being able to pay any medical bills. But it doesn’t seem like they ever communicated about any of this and since their relationship was a secret (also still not clear why!), none of their friends or family could force them to deal with their issues as they were mostly none the wiser. (hide spoiler)] All this to say, it’s hard to know what to make of their second chance when I’m still unclear on what drove them apart or why they were still able to occasionally have sex over the years in spite of this.
It all speaks to unhealthy patterns. They have sex instead of communicating. Duncan never says no to her about anything. I needed to know why Temperance kept pushing him away but then going to him for sex. I also needed to know why Duncan didn’t try to win her back sooner if he’s been in love with her the whole time. They keep secrets from each other and from the Bradys and those omissions have ramifications. I really hope they go to couple’s counseling because there’s no evidence that these patterns won’t repeat themselves.
Temperance is also in an unhealthy pattern with her toxic parents. The book didn’t do enough to confront this and in fact even whitewashes their relationship. (view spoiler)[Her parents show up at the winery grand opening even though they weren’t invited. Then she and her sister become foundation board members, even though Maren has been estranged from them for years. What evidence do we have that they’re going to turn over a new leaf? How are they going to make up for decades of neglect and control? I didn’t buy any of it. Some parents need to stay estranged. (hide spoiler)]
The plot is meandering, which I didn’t entirely mind. It also pulled its punches when it came to the angst potential, which I minded greatly. Had we gotten more answers about Duncan and Temperance’s past, then their emotional arcs would have worked well for me. But since I was left with so many questions, I kept waiting for something to happen. Temperance hardly ever goes to work, spending a lot of time at the farm for being a doctor. This has the benefit of forcing her to interact with Duncan but left me without a clear idea of what her life actually looks like or how it can fit with Duncan’s. Additionally, there were timeline issues with what their ages are purported to be, if they did indeed break up 14 years ago.
Okay so that was a lot of where the book fell short but I did really enjoy this one. Duncan calls her “Teacup”, which made me giddy. I’m looking forward to the next book in this series!
Characters: Temperance is a 34 year old white pediatrician who wears glasses. Duncan is a 35 year old white farmer, family business manager, artist, and community college student. They broke up when they were 18. This is set in Linden and Vesper Valley, PA.
Content notes: nightmares, blood platelet disorder, vertigo, vomit, sprained wrist and mild concussion from being hit by falling tree limb, toxic parents, past emotional neglect and outsourced parenting, FMC’s sister is estranged from their parents, past bribery (view spoiler)[FMC’s parents paid MMC to stay away from her and he took it, intending to use it to beat them at their own game but it turned into a real breakup (hide spoiler)], possible orthorexia (FMC runs an awful lot), Addison’s disease (secondary character’s mother), past harassment by secondary character’s ex-husband, secondary character uses a cane (past accident), pregnant secondary character, secondary character has sole custody of his daughter, past death of grandparents (mention), past death of pet dog (mention), family planning discussion, on page sex, public sex, masturbation, alcohol, inebriation, hangover, pipe (secondary character), gendered pejoratives, ableist language, hyperbolic language around addiction...more
Porter really had her work cut out for her when it came to redeeming Butler. He’s made a number of mistakes over the years, some due to substance abusPorter really had her work cut out for her when it came to redeeming Butler. He’s made a number of mistakes over the years, some due to substance abuse and some due to jealousy and lack of common sense. He’s come a long way compared to where we started with him but he’s still unfortunately a paragon of toxic masculinity. Even when he and Tania weren’t together, his reactions were jealous and possessive when he had no right to be. This included when he was with someone else; (view spoiler)[now sure, it’s mostly a fake relationship to keep his old lady safe from her evil brother-in-law but Tania doesn’t know that and he’s decided not to tell her. (hide spoiler)] He was such a hypocrite! I wanted more of the thoughtful Butler who looked out for Tania and had deep conversations. Not the neanderthal caveman Butler.
Tania and Butler are ships in the night for most of this book. The obstacles keeping them apart made sense and were compelling at first but then became more and more outlandish and over the top as the story continued. This includes (view spoiler)[Tania being abducted and sexually assaulted by a rival MC member, which was completely unnecessary. Not to mention, when Butler and Tania have to share a hotel bed, there’s a scene that can be read as dubious consent or sexual assault with some non-pre-negotiated somnophilia initiated by him. That indicated to me that Butler hadn’t changed nearly enough. He doesn’t get a medal for not having initiated penetrative sex, especially not when we learn shortly thereafter that he has an old lady, something he never mentioned to Tania. (hide spoiler)]
I really wanted to believe in them together based on their emotional connection but Butler kept being a dirtball MC member every time I thought he changed. Tania has her own issues: namely how on earth did she stay with her ex-husband for as long as she did?! She must have had a personality transplant while she lived in Wisconsin. I really enjoyed seeing her open her store and create the life she wanted. There were a few times when I wished she’d kept her mouth shut, especially when spouting off to a rival MC member. I’m not sure she should have given Butler so many chances but I really liked her so I’ll just cross my fingers that he really has changed enough and will continue to grow.
This deals with Butler’s past substance abuse and I thought it was handled fairly well. However, this also contains an excessive amount of hyperbolic language around addiction, which ultimately countered the messaging about Butler’s experience. An unfortunate choice—and I believe it was an intentional choice based on the degree. There’s no call for saying a character is “addicted” to a person or sex or using any number of phrases related to substance abuse about things that are not in fact substance abuse. Addiction is a serious issue and casual slang diminishes that truth.
Another unfortunate plot choice: (view spoiler)[Nina falsely accuses Catch of rape after they’re caught hooking up. It is extremely rare for women to make a false rape accusation but you’d never know that given how often it shows up in romance. In this instance, Nina is in a fake relationship with Butler to keep her safe from her evil brother-in-law. Fidelity isn’t required but they have to keep any outside action on the downlow. When the MC prez catches Nina and makes it a big spectacle, Butler has to figure out how to save face in the club and not blow their cover. So Nina’s solution is to cry rape, even though she’s in love with Catch. Not great. Also not great: Tania’s reaction. She immediately doesn’t believe Nina and calls her a whore. I get not wanting to believe her brother is capable of rape but have we really not learned anything in recent years?? Catch isn’t a good dude either and he’s been a terrible brother so I don’t know why Tania gave him the benefit of the doubt here. It doesn’t matter that Nina was lying in this instance. The vast majority of women do not lie about rape; why would they when our system largely protects rapists? No one is going to put themselves through the ringer for a lie. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. (hide spoiler)]
Note: this is a mostly cishet white book.
Characters: Tania is a 43 year old white art dealer. Butler is a white MC member, mechanic, strip club manager for the MC, and guitar player in his 40s. This is set in Meager, SD.
Content notes: sexual assault by abductors (view spoiler)[rip FMC’s top off and grope her, masturbate on her; she’s found before they can do more (hide spoiler)], FMC carved with knife by abductors, past child sexual abuse (secondary character’s brother-in-law preyed on her starting when she was 16), underground illegal porn (secondary character), teen secondary character was going to roofie a teen girl (plan discovered in time), false rape accusation (view spoiler)[Nina accuses Catch of raping her after they’re caught having consensual sex. She’s in a fake relationship with MMC and her actions jeopardize her safety so she lies to try to save face. FMC immediately doesn’t believe her and calls her a whore. The truth eventually comes out that Catch did not rape her. (hide spoiler)], sexual harassment, past cocaine addiction (sober one year), temptation to relapse (stays sober), physical assault of female secondary character by club president, past suicide attempt (secondary character), panic attack, nightmare, emergency heart surgery for arrhythmia (valve repair and pacemaker insertion), infidelity (view spoiler)[MMC has an old lady when he performs manual sex on FMC but FMC is unaware and it turns out to be a fake relationship and fidelity is not expected. However, FMC is unaware it’s a fake relationship the second time she and MMC hook up. Nina, the old lady, hooks up with Catch, which blows up in their faces after she’s caught and MMC has to save face. Secondary characters cheat or have cheated. FMC had sex with a secondary character even when he had an old lady (past). MMC has been with married women in the past. (hide spoiler)], past death of MMC’s wife (motorcycle accident 5 years ago), past miscarriage, FMC is divorcing her husband (emotional abuse), past and present death of MC members (bar brawl, murder, car bomb), murder, attempted murder, stabbing, physical assault, abduction, car bomb, drug trafficking by MC, misogyny, slut-shaming, fatphobia, Romani slur, classism, gestational surrogacy (secondary character), past death of MMC’s brother (spinal cord injury from car accident, died of pneumonia months later), MMC survived the car accident that ultimately killed his brother, FMC’s mother has MS, past death of FMC’s father (heart attack), secondary character with dislocated arm and concussion, scars from gunshot wounds and knife fights, secondary character with missing fingers and facial scars, MMC manages a strip club, sex worker shaming, past weight loss (secondary character had gastric bypass surgery), unplanned pregnancy (secondary character; antibiotic messed with birth control), vomit, animal bones and skulls, past death of secondary character’s sister (lung cancer), past anger over FMC wanting to stop in the middle of them having sex (he does stop but he shames her for it), on page sex, voyeurism, somnophilia (not pre-negotiated; FMC wakes up in the middle and is initially upset but then she’s into it), food play (sugar and sweetened cocoa), sensation play (ice), anal play, alcohol (FMC and secondary characters only), excessive drinking, hangover, cigarettes, past marijuana, underage drinking (secondary characters), toxic masculinity, homophobic insults, p-in-v sex is the only “real” sex, STD stigma, diet culture, “lady parts” as a euphemism, gendered pejoratives, gender essentialism, ableist language, hyperbolic language around addiction, non-Native use of “powwow” and “smoking a peace pipe”, mention of secondary character’s ex-girlfriend being murdered in a convenience store robbery...more
As much as I hated Iris and Roman being torn apart at the end of Divine Rivals, I have to admit it made for quite the compelling premise for this follAs much as I hated Iris and Roman being torn apart at the end of Divine Rivals, I have to admit it made for quite the compelling premise for this follow up. Particularly once we learn Dacre has erased Roman’s memories and he has no idea who he was before, much less that he knew Iris. Heartbreaking!
Enter the magical typewriters, bringing them together once more. I loved how every part of this developed. Great tension and character-building. Parts of it stressed me out! But it was so cool to see how it all came together and to learn more about Dacre and Enva. (view spoiler)[I was surprised Enva tapped Iris to kill Dacre but whatever. She and Attie managed to get it done so all’s well that ends well. Except for the part where Iris’s brother died. That one hurt. (hide spoiler)]
Characters: Iris is an 18 year old white journalist. Roman is a 19 year old white journalist.
Content notes:(view spoiler)[death of FMC’s brother (hide spoiler)], amnesia (memory erased by a god), missing husband, captivity, imprisonment, nightmares, PTSD (secondary character), past near-death experience (battlefield), war, warring deities who are estranged spouses, explosions, murder, assassination attempt, execution of soldiers without a trial, physical assault, casualties, scarred lungs from gas bomb (permanent condition), lacerations, refugees, animal death, stalking, breaking and entering, vandalism, toxic father, secondary character with bullet fragments still inside, past death of FMC’s alcoholic mother (hit by a tram), past death of MMC’s sister (drowned), classism, vomit, off page sex, alcohol (secondary characters), cigarettes (secondary character), cigar (secondary character), story of nightingales who died in captivity for research...more
My new favorite Anita Kelly. I savored this contemporary romance, not wanting it to end. It almost feels too personal to review; it made me cry almostMy new favorite Anita Kelly. I savored this contemporary romance, not wanting it to end. It almost feels too personal to review; it made me cry almost every time I picked it up because of the relatability. But it also had so many delightful moments. First and foremost: we don’t get the “dating lessons” trope nearly often enough!
High school basketball coach Julie can’t believe her eyes when her long-time crush-from-afar walks into the gym. Elle is a foster parent for her cousin’s daughter Vanessa who has newly joined the team and a former WNBA player. Julie eventually ropes Elle into becoming her assistant coach. They start spending more time together and when Julie confesses she’s never dated or been sure she wanted to, Elle suggests they give dating lessons a try.
This had such a gentle approach to Julie figuring out her sexuality. She’s on the asexual-spectrum, possibly demisexual but possibly something else. I liked that this leaves things open-ended. Labels can be very helpful to people but they’re not necessary for everyone. What does become clear is that she has feelings for Elle and those feelings are worth exploring. It was lovely to watch play out and to see Elle accept Julie as she is regardless of inexperience and uncertainty. Julie is Julie and she’s enough.
This centers the role and importance of friendship when you’re single. It delves into the ways Julie’s friendships have changed and are changing with Ben moving away and how she’s no one’s first phone call anymore. Or when a loved one doesn’t share important news with you at all and you realize you’re not as important to them as you think. Julie is happy that her loved ones have found partners but she also feels left out. Friendship/found family is even more important when you don’t have a partner and this really gets at the uncertainty of these changes. I felt all of this so deeply.
While I primarily related to Julie, Elle’s storyline also got me because of the depiction of her depression. Mine manifests differently but there are some similarities. Mostly what I loved about it was the way Julie took care of her without Elle even asking, sometimes in spite of Elle’s protests. It was a great example of partnership and coming alongside someone during their darkest hours and loving them through it.
And then there’s the actual romance. Julie and Elle were so dang good together! Elle’s patience, Julie’s curiosity and open-heartedness. They’re great coaches and foster parents (OK Julie isn’t an official foster parent but she’s very involved with Vanessa’s care). And they have fantastic chemistry. Getting to watch Julie experience everything for the first time was such a treat. Also loved the Julie's cat Snoozles, the Nashville setting, as I lived there for five years, and all the secondary characters living out their HEAs. This book is going to have a special place in my heart for a long, long time.
Characters: Julie is a 28 year old white HS basketball coach and Vanderbilt alumni relations administrative assistant. She’s on the asexual spectrum, possibly demisexual, but hasn’t landed on a label. She has a cat named Snoozles. Elle is a 32 year old lesbian white Vanderbilt medical billing clerk and ex-WNBA player. She’s the temporary foster parent for her cousin Karly’s teen daughter Vanessa. This is set in Nashville.
Content notes: depression, Elle is a foster parent for cousin’s teen daughter, cousin in rehab for substance abuse, child neglect (teen secondary character), chronic migraines, Elle’s mom has fibromyalgia, top surgery (secondary character), sick cat and emergency vet visit (recovers), acknowledgment of homophobic and transphobic politics and legislation in TN, gender binary in sports and assumption the players are all girls, suspected infidelity (Elle’s ex-girlfriend), past career-ending injury (ACL), family planning discussion (fostering queer teens someday), Elle isn’t drinking alcohol while she’s a foster parent, past death of grandparents, Elle never knew her father, on page sex, alcohol (epilogue), inebriation (secondary characters), ageist jokes, diet culture, gendered pejoratives, ableist language, mention of former assistant coach being treated for ovarian cancer, mention of past player who dealt with disordered eating
Disclosure: I’m friendly with the author online, who provided this ARC....more
So happy we got River’s story! Great cat content, plus excellent dating advice. It was refreshing to read a romance where characters go on actual dateSo happy we got River’s story! Great cat content, plus excellent dating advice. It was refreshing to read a romance where characters go on actual dates! (I dare you to think about the last time you read a romance where that happened. I’ll wait.) Cassidy and River were so cute together and I especially loved the (view spoiler)[cat topiary surprise (hide spoiler)] and the way they discussed gender.
Characters: River is a 21 year old nonbinary white cat shelter manager. Cassidy is a 30 year old white ethical taxidermist and former carpenter with ADHD and a nose ring. This is set in Garnet Run, WY.
Content notes: animal death (River accidentally hits a fox while driving), chronic migraines (caused by fluorescent lighting), vertigo/fear of heights, ADHD, injured cat (recovers), past death of cat, ethical taxidermy (doesn’t kill any animals), cat adoptions from no-kill cat shelter, River is estranged from their parents (emotionally abusive father), past homelessness, past death of Cassidy’s mother, concern about Cassidy’s father’s health, River’s brother adopted sister’s baby (past; sister had issues with substance abuse), past hunting trip as a child, discussion of Cassidy’s brother being a cop (strained relationship), vomit, blizzard, on page sex, sex toys, marijuana, cigarettes (secondary character), alcohol, gendered pejorative, ableist language...more
I could not put this space opera romance down! Bianca and Ian’s respective repressed longing gave me so much life. The push and pull, the misunderstanI could not put this space opera romance down! Bianca and Ian’s respective repressed longing gave me so much life. The push and pull, the misunderstandings, and the slow burn kept me enthralled. Then there was the action! Bianca tries to find her brother after he’s abducted and has to evade Ian in the process. Luckily, Ian finally listens to reason (somewhat) and accepts that teaming up with Bianca is the better choice. And what a team they make! I loved every single bit of this ride.
Characters: Bianca is a 25 year old white spy, hacker, and aristocrat with a modified brain and nanobots that allow her to sense and listen to frequencies. Ian is a 28 year old white security director and ex-military.
Content notes: past intimate partner violence (FMC’s husband experimented on her brain and nanobots without consent and tortured her; he was also emotionally abusive and isolated her from family and friends), past miscarriage, FMC’s father is emotionally and medically abusive, chronic headaches and nausea (FMC has difficulty eating as a result), abuse and mistreatment of prisoners, guard brutality, missing brother (abducted and sold to enslavers), abduction, secondary character’s tongue was cut out, murder, attempted murder, physical assault, off page war, blaster wounds, past weight loss due to frequent nausea, hotel manager set up spy hole on room where FMC and sister change clothes (detected before he could use it), past death of FMC’s husband (fire), infidelity (secondary character), gambling debt (secondary character), past bullying, on page sex, alcohol, pain medication/street drug, ageist joke, gendered pejoratives, ableist language...more
I loved learning more about the Anchors and the layer (Substrate pun intended) that brought to the world-building. Undoubtedly one of Nalini’s greatesI loved learning more about the Anchors and the layer (Substrate pun intended) that brought to the world-building. Undoubtedly one of Nalini’s greatest strengths as a writer is her ability to continually deepen our knowledge of the already complex world of the Psy and Changelings. It makes me curious if she always knew there would be an A designation or it came to her later.
As fascinating as that was and as much as I enjoyed both Payal and Canto, this was not my favorite installment. I got bored in places and it featured repetitive storylines. (view spoiler)[(Can we quit it with characters who have clock ticking because of something in their head? It wasn’t necessary for Payal’s brain tumor to become a threat. I really thought the big reveal was going to be that her father was lying about the tumors and he just created a placebo medication for her to be dependent on. That would have been way more interesting.) (hide spoiler)]
My main critique of this series has been the less than inclusive language choices. There was some progress here that’s worth noting. While this is still pretty ableist, Payal says at one point that not all psychopaths are bad. People with mental illness are not inherently evil and I was glad to have that finally acknowledged. As far as I know, this also featured the first agender character with one of the Anchors. I could tell care was taken with that character. However, it’s still gender essentialist. Changelings “smell” that a woman was in the room after Payal left. Psy “hear” a woman’s voice through messages on the phone. Plus, there was usual things being attributed as “masculine” for no good reason. Granted, this is much better compared to where the series started but I hope the author will continue to grow in this area.
Characters: Payal “3K” is a 36 year old neurodivergent Indian-Czech-Spanish cardinal telekinetic, anchor, and CEO. Canto “7J” is a 38 year old disabled Filipino-Turkish-Russian cardinal telepath and anchor. They’re both virgins. This is set in Delhi, India and Moscow, Russia.
Content notes: panic attack/psychotic break, FMC has unspecified mental illness and/or neurodivergence, FMC has brain tumors diagnosed as child and controlled by a type of chemotherapy/medication injection (view spoiler)[she gets migraines if she doesn’t get a dose in time; her father controls the medication and when he dies, there’s concern she will die but they’re able to find the formula in time (hide spoiler)], medical abuse (father controls medication and its formula), physical abuse by FMC’s brother, FMC’s brother is a psychopath (tortured animals, abducted and murdered homeless man, carves shapes in bodies, assaults servants; father is aware but doesn’t do anything), ableism, internalized ableism, past eugenics of disabled children, past ableist violence at institution, past torture and child physical abuse (including starvation), FMC murdered abusive teacher who was torturing MMC (past), murder (including via telepathic aneurysms), mass casualties, self-harm (secondary character), past institutionalization, MMC is a wheelchair user (spinal tumors as a kid), FMC’s father is paralyzed from a past riding accident, past and present death and murder of family members, agender secondary character, weight loss, migraines, pregnant secondary character, unsafe sex practices (unprotected sex without discussion of pregnancy prevention), on page sex, gender essentialism, ableist language, mention of suicidal minor character...more
An indicting account of the blood plasma industry and all of its inequities. The author has an autoimmune disorder and takes a medication that’s made An indicting account of the blood plasma industry and all of its inequities. The author has an autoimmune disorder and takes a medication that’s made with human plasma, which ultimately led to her curiosity about America’s blood supply chain. Americans selling their plasma don’t make a fraction of what these companies do, resulting in an unethical exploitative system. This investigative reporting illustrates how the system is designed to take advantage of the poor and needy. While some of the later chapters felt shoehorned in, McLaughlin makes a strong case for why this exploitative industry needs an overhaul. Will anything change as a result of this book? It’s hard to hope given how long these plasma centers have been around but time will tell.
Content notes: author has rare autoimmune disorder (CIDP: chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy), missing children and murder case, medical homophobia (men who have sex with men are barred from donating unless celibate for 3 months), medical malpractice and gaslighting, anxiety, blood donation/extraction, needles, COVID-19, AIDS epidemic, lead poisoning (Flint water crisis), doctor who died in a car accident, death by heart attack (interviewee), aggravated assault, racism, xenophobia, sexism, classism, poverty, ableist language...more
I hadn’t even finished the first chapter before I recommended this to a friend. I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve recommended it to since. It’s I hadn’t even finished the first chapter before I recommended this to a friend. I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve recommended it to since. It’s about endometriosis but it’s worth reading regardless of your connection or interest in endometriosis because of the way it addresses misogyny in healthcare. It covers the limitations of what’s been researched and where most reproductive care guidelines come from and how they’re not as evidenced-based as they should be. It was both concerning and enraging.
The author was diagnosed at age 35, after waiting 24 years for an answer to why her periods were so excruciating. But a diagnosis doesn’t necessarily mean anything will improve, as her experience shows, as well as those she interviewed and profiles here. Treatment is tied into and limited by fertility. Say you want to get pregnant and magically a whole bunch of options will appear. If you have silent endometriosis, that may be the only reason you’ll even get diagnosed. But if you don’t want to have a child, then the most you’ll get is hormonal birth control.
However, birth control doesn’t treat the actual problem. The pharmaceutical industry has a vested interest in people staying on birth control even though it doesn’t help most endo patients. Plus, birth control has an extremely checkered history, including mass sterilization campaigns. Most egregiously, how little research had been done before FDA approval, including options that are available today. I was floored to learn this. This information alone is why I’ve been telling all my friends to read this. Misogyny in healthcare is not a new idea to me but it’s a whole other thing to see it laid out in print and see how pernicious it is in every aspect of our healthcare system. And that includes the medical association who recommends so-called best practices for endo that isn’t research-based either. The most helpful intervention is excision but surgery is reserved for the worst cases. And who determines which cases are the worst? So much bias goes into those decisions. This makes for a lot of unnecessary suffering.
This focuses on people who experience chronic and severe pain as a result of their endo. That’s not my experience. While I had horrible periods up until my early 20s, things mostly settled down after that. I still have bad cramps but nothing like the people in this book. My endo was detected when I had an ultrasound for kidney stones several years ago. I’d wondered if it was possible I had it before that but since I’m child-free and haven’t experienced the worst endo symptoms, I figured it would remain a mystery. I haven’t known what to do with that information but I feel much more equipped as a result of this book. It’s good timing for many reasons.
I’m so grateful to have read this. It’s insightful and engaging, despite how angry the content made me. I hope anyone working in gynecology will read it and better understand their patients as a result. Maybe that will lead to the industrial change we need.
Note 1: The language and terminology follows best practices from the Trans Journalists Association style guide. “Instead of using ‘women’ as shorthand to refer to sufferers, I use ‘endo patients’ and other similarly inclusive terms. I also use ‘female/male’ and ‘women/men’ when contextually appropriate, and sometimes I use ‘assigned female at birth’, shortened to AFAB. When I say ‘we’ and ‘us’, I am talking about all endo patients unless otherwise specified. Similarly, when I say ‘women’ without a qualifier, I mean all women.”
Note 2: while I normally take content notes for every book I read, I opted not to do so here as the topic is close to home. This deals heavily with medical abuse and discrimination and the ways this impacts and harms quality of life beyond reproductive care. The author and people profiled/interviewed have histories of many forms of abuse and mistreatment, as well as experiences of loss, suicidal ideation, and more. Exercise care as needed....more
Someone grant me permission to serve on Captain Yasmeen’s airship! She was such a fierce badass and it's no wonder her crew was so devoted, nor that sSomeone grant me permission to serve on Captain Yasmeen’s airship! She was such a fierce badass and it's no wonder her crew was so devoted, nor that silver-tongued Archimedes was immediately smitten. It takes her much longer to come around since she’s not interested in love. I loved how their relationship built—when she finally falls for him, it’s everything.
I’ve read this series out of order. This was much better than The Iron Duke but not as good as the perfection known as The Kraken King. It was a thoroughly enjoyable ride, aside from a couple of unnecessary plot choices toward the end.
Characters: Yasmeen is a mercenary captain and former gan tsetseg (part caracal with tufted ears and claws). She is a WOC, unspecified ethnicity but possibly Moroccan or Mongolian. Archimedes is a white treasure hunter.
Content notes: attempted rape (view spoiler)[Captain Guillouet is going to rape FMC to “put her in her place” but she kills him before he can follow through (hide spoiler)], possible statutory rape of secondary character (view spoiler)[14 year old boy is having sex with a sex worker in the middle of a bar; the sex worker is referred to as a woman but the age difference isn’t clear (hide spoiler)], infertility and past pregnancy loss (view spoiler)[FMC’s ex stabbed her in the stomach, causing her to become infertile (hide spoiler)], past sexual harassment, villain dies by suicide, murder, physical assault, bar brawl, drug assault, villain encourages intimate partner violence (MMC declines), arson, ship explosion, chronic knee pain (broke legs in ship explosion), head injury, poisoned bracelet, past child abuse (MMC’s father), past near-death experiences, misogyny (countered), sexism, FMC grew up in a crèche and was bred to kill (gan tsetseg), theft, weight loss, zombies, FMC killed MMC’s abusive father 13 years ago while serving on his ship (MMC and his sister thanked her for it), secondary characters with prosthetic limbs, on page sex, alcohol, inebriation, hangover, opium, cigarillos, gender essentialism, ableist language, hyperbolic language around suicide, mention of woman who was raped in captivity, references to enslavement...more
4.5 stars. What a delicious reverse harem dark romance retelling of Peter Pan! I have no idea where this trilogy is going but I couldn’t put this down4.5 stars. What a delicious reverse harem dark romance retelling of Peter Pan! I have no idea where this trilogy is going but I couldn’t put this down. I’m sure I’ll have more to say once I read the next book but for now I’m just shivering in anticipation for what awaits Winnie, Peter, Vane, Kas, and Bash.
As much as I loved this story, I can’t give it the full 5 stars due to the ableism around mental illness. I have reservations about how Winnie’s mother was depicted, particularly since her mental illness was magically induced and yet she’s been subjected to the American psychiatric system. Given the neglect and medical abuse, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense that Winnie would still be under her care, nor did her lack of reaction toward the end, given her past trauma. As far as I can tell, this is a completely white cishet world.
Characters: Winnie is an 18 year old white girl. Peter is white and the King of Neverland; he’s missing his Life Shadow. Vane is the shadow of death. He’s white with facial scars and one violet eye and one blind black eye that has been taken over by shadow. Kas and Bash are white twin brothers and fae princes.
Content notes: MMC kidnaps FMC, imprisonment, murder, gore (rips heart out), violence, Peter is dying (lost his shadow, the sun could kill him so he sleeps during day and only goes out at night), mind invasion, FMC has chronic pain (due to scarring on back and poor medical treatment and magical practices), FMC’s mother was neglectful and medically abusive (had runes carved in FMC, gave her potions that made her sick, etc.), Vane has one blind eye, ableism around mental illness, FMC’s mother and maternal ancestors have schizophrenia, past psychiatric hospitalizations for FMC’s mother, past slut shaming (FMC doesn’t care), past sex worker shaming (neighbor), misogyny, Kas and Bash killed their father (past), Neverland inhabitants are orphans, gutting/cleaning fish, poverty/food poverty, commentary on FMC being undernourished, unsafe sex practices (MMCs don’t use condoms), dubious consent, on page sex, MFM menage, gang bang, brief impact play, mild degradation play, voyeurism, masturbation, underage drinking, alcohol, inebriation, cigarettes, gendered pejoratives, ableist language...more
Micah and Ryan start out casual but their one night stand immediately feels like potential for more. That doesn’t erase the reasons they each prefer nMicah and Ryan start out casual but their one night stand immediately feels like potential for more. That doesn’t erase the reasons they each prefer no strings, however, so Thursday nights become their sex appointment. Ryan is a single father and his daughter has cystic fibrosis and is about to go on the liver transplant list. He’s very isolated, apart from his sister who moved across the country to help out. Thursday night is his only break…but that’s also because he has trouble letting people in besides his sister. Micah’s Borderline Personality Disorder means he tends to fall hard and fast and then crash spectacularly. He finds it best to keep people at arm’s length, except for the guys at the shop.
The best part of this series is the way the Irons & Works family looks after one another. They make adjustments and accommodations, they call each other out on their BS, and they’re simply there for each other, no matter what. This has never been more true with Micah’s BPD. As much as he wants to be loved, he winds up trying to push others away but the guys at the shop have learned not only how to get him back on track but what they can do to help keep him there. That’s no small feat and not how everyone would respond.
I liked both Micah and Ryan but the story began feeling repetitive at a certain point. They both needed to have a conversation instead of always getting caught up in their insecurities. A little bit of that is okay but too much begins to get either frustrating or boring to read. They both needed to demonstrate growth, instead of relying on external conflicts to propel them forward.
The low moment was fairly predictable but it led to some important realizations and things were finally moving in a positive direction. Ryan understood the ways he’d been holding back and left a message for Micah so they could talk things out. (view spoiler)[He starts to drive and is immediately hit by a car out of nowhere. And sure, that’s how car accidents normally happen! But why on earth did this story require *one more* trauma?! It wasn’t at all necessary. (hide spoiler)] It was a bridge too far for me. These characters had been through enough as it was.
I wish the internal and external conflicts had been better balanced and that there hadn’t been so much emphasis on the difficulties of their lives. That’s one of my struggles with this series, the way it relentlessly tightens the screws on its characters and gives them even more hardship and struggle. As great as it is to see so many different disabilities represented, the focus is always on how hard it is, along with lots of ableism and internalized ableism. It’s not enough that Micah has BPD and bipolar, he also has a lower leg amputation. It’s not just that Violet has CF, she has a very severe case and needs a liver transplant much sooner than usual. It would be great if at least some of the characters didn’t have the most severe situations or could show the day to day reality of their disability without it tipping over into trauma p0rn. Why so much emphasis on the pain? I also wish there wasn’t so much casual ableist language.
Also I found it incredibly demeaning to Ryan’s sister when he told Micah he’d never experienced any real love all his life. Rachel literally moved across the country with him, estranged herself from their mother, lived with him to help take care of baby Violet for a while, and regularly babysits and helps out when Violet is hospitalized. She pushes him to take better care of himself and to be open to dating and letting people into his and Violet’s world. And she gets very little from him in return! That’s just insulting to her.
Characters: Micah is a 27 year old gay white tattoo artist with tattoos, stretched earlobes, and multiple piercings (eyebrow, lip, nipples, Prince Albert, hafada, and navel). Ryan is a bisexual white IT manager and single father who wears glasses. His 5 year old daughter Violet has cystic fibrosis and liver disease. This is set in Fairfield, CO.
Content notes: panic attack, ableism, internalized ableism, PTSD, car accident (concussion, broken leg, cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder), hospitalizations, Ryan’s daughter has severe Cystic Fibrosis and liver disease requiring transplant, daughter has a G-tube, vomit from coughing, Micah has Borderline Personality Disorder and bipolar, Micah’s lower leg was amputated due to sepsis from an infected scratcher tattoo when he was 17, pressure sore due to self-harm (ignores pain until friends call him out and it doesn’t get worse), brief internalized biphobia, mild internalized fatphobia, secondary characters with various disabilities, Ryan is estranged from his mother after she told him to give up Violet due to her being sick, Ryan’s daughter resulted from one night stand and her mom abandoned her with him when she was a couple months old, Micah’s uncle was alcoholic and drug addict (arrested for unclear reasons), past child abuse (raised by uncle and aunt until he left at 16), past death of Micah’s parents, on page sex, rimming, pain medication, alcohol (neither MC drinks that much), past inebriation, marijuana (past), past recreational drug use, STD stigma, gendered pejoratives, gender essentialist language, ableist language, hyperbolic language around suicide and self-harm, mention of pediatrician using the R word (past), mention that neighbors likely deal marijuana, reference to suicidal ideation (prologue), reference to nightmares, reference to secondary character’s past miscarriages...more
3.5 stars. Mary Laura is a talented writer so I’m rounding up just for that. No part of me is the target audience for this book. I don't have kids. I'3.5 stars. Mary Laura is a talented writer so I’m rounding up just for that. No part of me is the target audience for this book. I don't have kids. I'm not an overthinker or a perfectionist, nor do I believe I can control difficult circumstances. I used to be a medical social worker and I've experienced a lot of loss in my own life so I have an entirely different approach to illness, death, and grief. That’s not to say my way is better, simply that Mary Laura and I were formed by different circumstances. Sometimes I can find a connection point in books geared toward mothers despite not having kids. In this case I couldn’t but she kept me mostly engaged and interested in her stories. The last essay was the strongest.
Content notes: son has seizure and diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, anxiety, nightmares, death of friends (suicide, cancer), father had emergency triple bypass surgery (recovered fine), COVID-19, Nashville bomb, Cold War, 9/11, discussion of school shootings, animal death, death of pets (but dogs are okay!), dog has eating disorder, dog with chronic pancreatitis, health-related diet changes (cholesterol), various illnesses and injuries (migraines, herniated discs in upper spine, benign cyst removed from eye as a baby), asthma, Graves’ disease, vertigo), concern of cancer (husband was okay), illness-related weight loss, needles (medication), climate change, father was army doctor during Vietnam, past death of grandparents, alcohol, vaping (not the author), marijuana, gender essentialist language, ableist language, hyperbolic language around suicide, mentions of various people who have died (kidnapped children, coal miners after elevator cable snapped, plane crash, suicide related to postpartum psychosis), mention of books about kids who die (brain tumor, leukemia), mentions of pregnancy and fertility treatment, reference to intimate partner violence (Charlize Theron’s mother killed father in self-defense)
Disclosure: the author and I have a past professional connection; we’re friendly online....more
4.5 stars. The author shares an insightful, honest account of her chronic illnesses, from her family’s narratives around illness to the doctors who di4.5 stars. The author shares an insightful, honest account of her chronic illnesses, from her family’s narratives around illness to the doctors who dismissed her symptoms. She was eventually diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, endometriosis, POTS, Lyme disease, and hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It was unfortunately a long road to getting those diagnoses. But the doctors weren’t failing her out of callousness necessarily so this book is also an exploration of the Western model of medicine and how that impacts those living with invisible illnesses.
She writes with a lot of compassion for herself as she was trying to find answers, as well as others seeking diagnosis. If you’re in a similar boat, I think you’ll be encouraged to keep going but please exercise caution as needed as she goes into a lot of details about the ups and downs that could prove to be difficult depending on where you’re at. For those of us on the other side, I don’t think her intention was to show readers how they can be better friends or partners to those with chronic illness but it’s there all the same. She examines a number of issues, including why doctors find it easier to dismiss symptoms than listen to patients and why the tests themselves can be inaccurate and what actual health looks like when living with a chronic illness. I used to work in healthcare and I have friends with some of the illnesses mentioned so none of this was surprising but it can be disheartening. At the same time, there are doctors out there who are trying to change how things are done and who are innovating within the field. With the rise of long COVID, the author is hopeful we’ll see a changing tide and patients across the board will receive better care for symptoms that aren’t straightforward.
O’Roarke is a white cishet woman and she’s aware of her privilege and the way this shapes the story she tells. Where possible, she highlights examples from other people, mentions statistics for marginalized communities, the impact of medical fatphobia and racism, or how her care might differ due to her privilege. She may have maxed out her credit cards while going to different doctors and practitioners—including going so far as flying to London for an unconventional treatment—but she’s also married and could reasonably take on some debt in her quest to figure out what was wrong. She also illustrates how the desperation to find answers can lead to less sound decision-making when it comes to alternative medicine.
I wish this had been more intersectional in terms of the disabled community. O’Roarke doesn’t seem to have thought of herself that way, even when she was barely functional, but there are plenty with chronic illness and autoimmune disease who are and that adds a whole other layer, especially if they’re limited by insurance and disability benefits. She talked about COVID but she did not delve into the way antimaskers and antivaxers negatively impact those who are immunocompromised and the messages this sends to the disabled community. It was a curious oversight. But on the whole, this was an excellent read and I got so much out of it.
A personal reflection: It’s difficult to read a book like this and not think about your own medical history. I went into this thinking I'd learn a lot—and I did. I also went into this thinking I didn’t have a chronic illness. Except I do. I just hadn’t thought of it that way before because it’s largely under control and my diagnosis happened in a roundabout way. I was diagnosed with endometriosis several years ago when I had to get an ultrasound for kidney stones. (0/10 do not recommend kidney stones.) I’ve had horrible periods since I was 13 years old but I’d always been told cramps and pain were normal, etc. I just took it as my lot in life and developed a high pain tolerance. A few years before I was diagnosed, I’d wondered if I might have endometriosis after reading Padma Lakshmi’s memoir. There aren’t easy ways to detect it and it didn’t feel worth investigating further since I had no idea if my insurance would cover anything when I wasn’t experiencing the same level of pain as I had in high school and college. It was extremely disconcerting to realize that there was a medical reason for my symptoms and that my doctors never should have dismissed what I said all those years ago. Things have come a long way in the decades since but I’d hazard a guess we all have a story about a doctor who didn’t listen, no matter what the issue was. We all deserve better.
CW: various chronic illnesses, various autoimmune diseases, COVID-19/long COVID, difficulty obtaining diagnosis and misdiagnosis, death of mother (stage 4 colorectal cancer), death of father-in-law (brain tumor from metastatic melanoma), father diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s lymphoma, ableism, internalized ableism, suicidal ideation (mostly others), anxiety, depression, nightmare, ruptured endometrial cyst (surgery went fine), use of oxycodone after surgery, medical sexism, discussion of medical fatphobia, role of food in health and wellness, diets, fertility issues (able to get pregnant after Lyme diagnosis and healing), divorce and reconciliation with husband, some equating of genitalia and biology to gender (but also takes care to mention trans folks inclusively), ableist language, mention of medical racism and medical transphobia, reference to woman who was anorexic as a teen...more
Rehabilitating Troy’s character was a tall order based on his previous behavior in the series. For the most pCW: sexual assault, near death experience
Rehabilitating Troy’s character was a tall order based on his previous behavior in the series. For the most part, I think Reid handled it well. It helped that Troy did not know his former teammate and best friend Dallas was a sexual predator and that he believed the women who spoke up. But he still had been best friends with a homophobic bully, overlooking or participating in terrible behavior for years, and he was a homophobic bully himself. Only in his case, it was due to internalized homophobia and his fear of being outed as gay. Troy knows he’s an asshole but he doesn’t know what to do about it until he’s rocked on his heels about Dallas's actions. Shortly after that, he learns his secret boyfriend has been cheating on him and he’s traded to another team while the NHL stands by Dallas and covers up his crimes.
As much as I really enjoyed this as I was reading it and found Troy and Harris to be compelling characters, I have a lot of mixed feelings about the execution. The more I thought about it after finishing, the more my reservations grew. It’s hard to go into any of them without light spoilers but I’ve tried to hide the biggest spoilers unless I have due cause.
I have questions about the “homophobic jock is secretly gay” trope, especially when written by a cis woman, but that’s a conversation for another day. What matters more is how it was handled in this book. The arc here involves Troy (view spoiler)[starting to work to improve himself, date Harris, and publicly come out. I don’t know that Troy did enough to atone for his past actions or the way he contributed to a hostile environment in the NHL. He apologized to a couple of individual players but they would have been far from the only ones his behavior hurt. There needed to be a public aspect to his redemption beyond raising awareness of sexual assault survivors. (hide spoiler)] Part of the issue is that we’re seeing a real time transformation almost immediately after he got his wakeup call. There weren’t enough steps shown about how he was going about becoming a better person. Making donations and posting to Instagram isn’t enough to show he’s really changed, nor was dating Harris or (view spoiler)[coming out (hide spoiler)] . Troy needed therapy so he could explore why he wants to please abusive toxic men. Without that, it was hard for me to fully buy his transformation—and I really wanted to. There's something really compelling about watching someone unlearn the toxic masculinity engrained in them but it's hard work that doesn't happen overnight.
Don’t read this book if you’re on a plane or about to be. (view spoiler)[There’s a very scary near plane crash scene that came out of nowhere. (hide spoiler)] The book didn’t include any content warnings or an author’s note with resources related to sexual assault or addressing this as an issue within hockey. Not only were these omissions a major oversight, they were frustrating to encounter. Content warnings are a minimum level of care to provide to readers and I can’t think of any good reason to withhold them.
I didn’t like how the plane situation was handled at all. (view spoiler)[It was also hard for me to believe Harris turned off his phone after they got to the hotel; that would not be an option for social media managers at his level, unless he has someone on his team addressing inquiries. (As far as I know, he doesn’t have any assistants or anyone else that helps with social media.) No one suggested therapy for the team to help them cope with what happened. They all have a team beach day and that’s counted as all good. Just because the players think their anxiety will get better over time with the more flights they go on doesn’t mean that’s how it will actually happen. (hide spoiler)]
The plane incident becomes the reason Troy finally makes a move on Harris. Instead of a near-death experience serving as a catalyst for action, it would have been more powerful if Troy had decided to act on his feelings as an indication of healing and moving toward the person he wants to be. That would have served Harris better too because he had to settle for Troy’s mixed signals in the meantime. It was great that Harris could be patient and give Troy time to think about coming out. But he also deserved more than scraps. And that’s all because Troy made his first move out of fear.
It was difficult to believe it would be no big deal for a player and the team’s social media manager to not disclose their relationship, regardless of Troy being closeted. The team would have rules about workplace relationships, even if they only envisioned them for heterosexual pairings. Harris should have disclosed something to somebody. His whole job was extremely underdeveloped, which was a bummer because I do some social media management myself and I thought it would be cool to see what that position is like when you have NHL money at your disposal. What was Harris’s previous experience to be hired by an NHL team by his mid-20s and did he have any other coworkers besides the photographer? I would have really loved to know. This also made Harris’s entire emotional arc feel more underdeveloped as a result. We know about his heart condition (incidentally the way his scars were first mentioned made me wonder if he was trans but he’s not) and that his parents are a little overprotective and he might need a better work-life balance…and that’s about it. Reid never really does anything with it. It would have been great to have gotten to know him better. Harris is clearly very good for Troy but I wasn't fully convinced the reverse was true.
I’ve worried about whether this author was letting Ilya take over the series. Don’t get me wrong: I love his character. But I really hate when authors let non-MC characters take over books that aren’t about them. She toed the line here but since it seems like Shane and Ilya’s book (out next) happens concurrently with this one, I’m also not sure about the inclusion of a certain plot choice. We shall see. Lastly, this continues to be a very disappointingly white series. There’s not good excuse for a contemporary romance to not be diverse across the board.
To end on a positive note, there were some really great meaningful gifts in this book, like cookie dough ice cream and the pride pin. They’re specific to the characters and really illustrated Troy’s growth. I also loved when he learned how to hug. Completely heartbreaking, to be clear. But such a beautiful moment.
Characters: Troy is a 25 year old gay white forward for the Ottawa Centaurs. Harris is a 25 year old gay white social media manager for the team. He has a puppy named Chiron. Troy is 5’9 and Harris is a little shorter than him. This is set in Ottawa.
Content notes: MMC’s former teammate and best friend is a sexual predator, victim-blaming (not by MCs), sexual assault cover up by NHL, near plane crash/near death experience (plane lost engine and had to make an emergency landing), toxic (emotionally abusive) father, toxic masculinity, misogyny, closeted MC (no forced outing), homophobia, internalized homophobia, bierasure (uncountered), infidelity (ex cheated, mention of father cheating on mother), MMC born with heart defect (truncus arteriosus), past heart surgery (mechanic aortic valve), past bullying, physical assault during hockey game (secondary character), pregnant secondary character, team visit to children’s hospital, past parental divorce, on page sex, rimming, alcohol, inebriation, hangover, gendered insults, ableist language, references to ghost (Harris’s family thinks great-uncle haunts their house), reference to father being racist...more
Ruby Lang knows what I want: romances about people in their 40s who are just fine about not having kids. This was such a fantastic second chance romanRuby Lang knows what I want: romances about people in their 40s who are just fine about not having kids. This was such a fantastic second chance romance! Simon and Lana divorced 17 years ago and haven’t seen each other since, until they run into each other while viewing an apartment. One thing leads to another and they wind up becoming roommates, despite Simon’s reservations. They’ve both changed and grown during their time apart so now they have a chance to reconnect and discover these new sides to each other. I loved the way Simon took care of Lana when her endometriosis was especially bad (I’m relieved mine doesn’t get this bad) and all of Muffin the cat’s antics. It was cool to see Lana work her craft of hand-pulled noodles. It’s holiday-adjacent, following Simon and Lana through Christmas and Lunar New Year. This is a grown up romance about grown-ups, lovely and quiet but still chemistry aplenty. This whole series has been a delight.
Characters: Simon is a 44 year old white music teacher, pianist, and choir director. (Corey read Simon as Jewish and autistic—I was wondering about the former but did not consider the latter. It does make sense retrospectively.) Lana is a 42 year old Taiwanese American chef. She adopts a cat named Muffin. This is set in NYC.
Content notes: endometriosis (including chronic severe pain), discussion of infertility, lost pet (found), MCs divorced 17 years ago, on page sex, ableist language, references to past death of parents...more
I was not sure about how this would work for me going in because I have struggled with Sam from the beginning. He was blatantly misogynistic to both LI was not sure about how this would work for me going in because I have struggled with Sam from the beginning. He was blatantly misogynistic to both Lauren and Andy. Here we learn this has been a cover, a way to provide him some emotional distance and protection from letting anyone in too close. Tiel thinks he’s still a gentleman underneath and kudos to her for seeing there’s more to him than meets the eye. But that doesn’t do much for all the women he’s objectified and used over the years. Surely he could have come up with some other form of armor that doesn’t stomp all over women? He had some really bad habits and he hasn't dealt with major trauma. I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to grow and mature. On the other hand, I also struggled with how much slut-shaming he endured from his family and from Tiel. It was really uncalled for.
Sam is majorly self-destructive in ways that were difficult to watch but Tiel is also a self-sabotager and that doesn’t tend to make for a good combination. However, they clearly brought out the best in one another and Tiel was overall a great sunshiney character, despite her Pixie Dream Girl qualities. That helped me hang in there. At the same time, I was worried that Sam was only becoming healthier and making changes because of her. (view spoiler)[I was glad that at the end he made the choice for himself, although I wish it had involved therapy, instead of going off to the woods alone for two months. He’s medicated for OCD but it doesn’t appear he’s gotten any help beyond that and it would have been nice to see some on-page therapy. The OCD rep seemed very superficial to me but your mileage may vary. At the very least, Sam turned into someone I could root for by the end and I melted over the letters he wrote Tiel. (hide spoiler)] I was glad that Tiel finally did some heart-searching of her own and could see her part in what went wrong. I would have loved to have seen her cut ties with her family or have it out if she was going to still see them once a year because that felt very necessary. But beyond that, I was glad that she finally had more people in her corner who appreciated all of who she is. She was good for Sam and their chemistry was top notch.
Both characters could have used more nuance or at least had a few of their more head-scratching reactions fleshed out more. The low moment was on the predictable side and I wish the author had made just about any other choice. Despite all my reservations, this was just as compulsively readable as Canterbary’s other work. I feel invested in the Walshes despite their codependency and my fervent wish they all go to therapy. It was nice to see Riley finally step up to the plate here and I’m looking forward to Shannon’s story more now.
Character notes: Tiel is a 29 year old Greek-Indian violinist, adjunct professor, and PhD student specializing in music therapy. (Her father is Hindu and mom is Christian and mom’s Greek roots matter more in their family.) Sam is a 28 year old white architect with Type 1 diabetes. This is set in Boston.
Content notes: Type 1 diabetes (wears insulin pump), hospitalization due to improper care of diabetes, suicidal ideation and self-harming behavior (MMC doesn’t take care of his health), possible disordered eating (MMC frequently skips meals and it’s not clear if this is self-sabotage or disordered eating), food allergies, misogyny (MMC), anxiety, OCD, panic attack, near-death experience (falling elevator), internalized ableism, FMC is divorced (ex cheated), perceived infidelity (view spoiler)[FMC sees Magnolia kiss MMC but it is not reciprocated; after they’ve broken up, MMC does go to a club and lets a woman start jerking him off but he doesn’t let her finish. It’s not a great move but they’re not together so this isn’t cheating to me. (hide spoiler)], FMC with possible ADHD (it read this way to me), codependency (especially between MMC and his sister Shannon), family rejection (FMC), unprotected sex (no pregnancy results), family planning discussion, recent death of MMC’s alcoholic and abusive father, recollections of past emotional abuse, dad was homophobic, bierasure, past death of MMC’s mother (preeclampsia, baby also died), slut-shaming, autistic students, vomit, on page sex, light spanking, sexting, edging, alcohol, inebriation, fatphobic joke, STD jokes, small penis insult, gendered insults, “laybits” as euphemism, gender essentialism, ableist language, hyperbolic language around suicide, “tribe” used for family, mention of past bullying, Romani slur as descriptor for type of music, reference to MMC telling his father “rapey demons” would have a blast with him in hell, reference to MMC having a seizure (off-page)...more
If you enjoy hot mess FMCs, this is the story for you. Nevaeh has untreated ADHD and poor impulse control and she’s reeling from a lifelong string of If you enjoy hot mess FMCs, this is the story for you. Nevaeh has untreated ADHD and poor impulse control and she’s reeling from a lifelong string of bad decisions, as well as past trauma. And when I say bad decisions, I mean “someone wants to kill you” bad decisions. But I still couldn’t help but root for her. It makes for an interesting emotional arc, seeing her try to do better in spite of what she calls her “brain glitches.” That poor impulse control brings her back to Petty’s Mill, where everyone despises her. They erroneously believe she cheated on Forty back in the day.
Initially, Forty wants nothing to do with her. Except he can’t cut her off completely. There’s quite the push and pull between them and I loved watching them figure it all out. They had chemistry in spades. Meanwhile, Steel Bones is trying to talk Forty out of starting something back up with Nevaeh. Ultimately, I wanted a bit more out of their respective arcs, particularly with Nevaeh’s untreated ADHD. By the end, they’re both talking about going to therapy, which is important given their respective traumas. But she also needs to deal with her ADHD and I was frustrated that Forty never seemed to put that together.
Cate C. Wells has created such a compelling world and it’s been fascinating to watch this series develop. There were some big reveals in this installment and I cannot wait to see what happens next. At the same time, this is a very white cishet world. We are introduced to a closeted character in this book, Nevaeh’s brother Lou. We don’t know much about his history, other than a long-time crush on a seemingly straight MC member. There’s no sense of what the Steel Bones crew think of LGBTQ+ people. Or antiracism, for that matter. Formerly 1 percenter MC clubs are not historically progressive so even though some of the more problematic aspects of this subgenre aren’t on page, I’m still not sure what to make of the Steel Bones. I enjoy the characters but I wish I had more context for what they actually believed since they went legit.
Character notes: Nevaeh is a 29 year old woman with ADHD who does occasional companion care. Forty is a 30 year old white Steel Bones VP and former Ranger sniper. This is set in Petty’s Mill, PA.
Content notes: intimate partner violence (ex-boyfriend, (view spoiler)[he physically assaults and threatens to murder her at the beginning of the book and then he pops up toward the end because she took his messenger bag (which has something he needs), he assaults her again and threatens to kill her and/or her brother if she doesn’t cooperate. She goes with him and he holds a gun to her but she manages to get free long enough for Forty to shoot him. She gets shot in the hip by her ex in the process but she’s okay. (hide spoiler)], violence, murder, gunshot wound, past perceived infidelity (view spoiler)[FMC acted out but never actually cheated on him (hide spoiler)], past sexual abuse by FMC’s stepfather (view spoiler)[her mom knew and did not intervene; he’s since died of pancreatic cancer (hide spoiler)], FMC has untreated ADHD, MMC was in the military and received medical discharge four years ago (view spoiler)[injured after helicopter crash, he was able to get one person out in time but two others died (hide spoiler)], chronic pain, MMC has burn scars on shoulder and arm, discussion of survivor’s guilt and nightmares, closeted secondary character (no forced outing), car vandalism, MMC has occasional erectile dysfunction due to medication (does not happen when he’s with FMC), vomit, on page sex, spanking (dubious consent), alcohol, inebriation, marijuana (secondary characters), FMC insults character with STD joke, female pejoratives, slut-shaming (not countered), gendered insults, hyperbolic language around suicide, ableist language, gender essentialism, FMC is estranged from her alcoholic mother, MMC’s mom left when he was 8, secondary character with both legs amputated at the knee, reference to past panic attack, reference to minor character with a TBI, reference to past attack on Crista (detailed in Scrap), references to past image-based sexual abuse (ex put a video of her and his ex-girlfriend fighting in a mud pit up on a porn site), reference to characters’ loved ones who died of cancer, reference to secondary character’s substance abuse (meth, cocaine)...more
Jones is my catnip: a bearded tattooed grumpy MMC who believes he is broken and unlovable. I wanted to reach through the pages and hug him! He and LizJones is my catnip: a bearded tattooed grumpy MMC who believes he is broken and unlovable. I wanted to reach through the pages and hug him! He and Liz had great chemistry together and I enjoyed the stops and starts of their burgeoning relationship. I was glad to see Jones started therapy but wish we’d gotten more interactions with the therapist, especially since her specialty (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) was dangled in front of me but never developed on page. His friend Imran was the one who gave him the therapist's card. Give me more grizzled cis males telling each other to go to therapy! To that end, I would have liked to have seen Jones working through the effects of his father’s emotional abuse, therapy homework and all, instead of being told that he is.
I inhaled the first 70% of this story but then it became cookie cutter and a few plot choices felt rushed and less believable to me. One of my main struggles, even in that first unputdownable 70%, was how repetitive the internal dilemmas were, particularly with Liz’s delay in telling the band she wanted to quit. The external plot could have been more developed to balance that out. The plot might not have lived up to the characters for me but it made me want to try at least one other book from the series and see how it goes.
(I’m putting this on my child-free couples shelf. Jones had a vasectomy years ago. There’s no discussion of whether Liz wants to have kids but she takes his disclosure in stride so I assumed she was fine with it.)
Character notes: Liz is a 29 year old white fat keyboardist in Vixen’s Wail and aspiring massage therapist who wears glasses. She has a betta named Jim. Jones is a 38 year old white bisexual (or pan?) bearded burly roadie and bartender who volunteers at an animal shelter. He has a pierced nipple and a cock piercing. He has an iguana named Roxy.
Content notes: chronic sciatica (diagnosed on page), pain medication, past child emotional and physical abuse, pitbull at the animal shelter has scars on his back and sides (abuse does not happen on page and it's not clear what happened before the dog was rescued; some signs of trauma but MC works with him and finds him a good home), physical assault (secondary FMC hits her ex-boyfriend when he shows up to harass her), MMC had a vasectomy, on page sex, alcohol, toxic masculinity via MMC’s deceased father, gender essentialism, gendered insult, past death of father 20 years ago (reason for death is unclear), father was an alcoholic, MMC is estranged from alcoholic brother, MMC’s mother left when he was 13 days old, FMC is said to be an addict for his smiles...more
I’m so sad I don’t have any more Kate Clayborn novels to read. I’ve been anticipating Greer and Alex’s romance ever since book 1 and it did not disappI’m so sad I don’t have any more Kate Clayborn novels to read. I’ve been anticipating Greer and Alex’s romance ever since book 1 and it did not disappoint. I loved Clayborn’s gorgeous writing, the symbolism of photography, great sex scenes, and of course the friendship between Greer, Kit, and Zoe. Plus, Zoe calls out Greer in the best way a couple of times and it always cracked me up. We get to watch Greer go from "watching" to “doing" and Alex has a similar journey, although his is related to his mental health. They were so good at accepting one another exactly where they were at and I loved watching their relationship unfurl. So many great scenes!
While I loved their story, there were a few things that prevented me from giving it a full 5 stars. I wasn’t sure about the way Greer’s chronic illness was handled. We know something happened in her past because of the way her family treats her/her health with kid gloves but we don’t find out what until more than halfway through. (view spoiler)[ She has Chiari malformation. (hide spoiler)] I didn’t know what to make of this. Greer almost functioned as an unreliable narrator. It was hard for me to believe she’d never mention her illness by name or what the particular struggles were when we are in her POV. There is a certain level of denial there, mostly because she is overall doing fine despite her illness and because Alex doesn’t know and therefore doesn’t treat her any differently, which is all she wants. That was valid but I wondered whether internalized ableism was at play. I wasn’t sure about the way the reveal was handled or whether it was completely fair to Alex, who needed to be given a chance to handle it well. (view spoiler)[Toward the end of the story, she is injured when a bicyclist accidentally runs her over and she has to be hospitalized because of her specific risks. I don’t like when someone’s illness functions as the external conflict or the dark moment and wish it had gone down differently. (hide spoiler)]
Related, Greer is a people pleaser and I wish we could have seen more growth along those lines. Toward the end of the book, her mom apologizes for smothering her and Greer says that she doesn’t, which could not have been further from the truth. It would have been the perfect opportunity for Greer to be honest and set some boundaries. I feared her family would back off only because Alex is in the picture. They needed to trust Greer was an adult capable of understanding her limits and tending to her needs.
Lastly, there were two things I had qualms about directly because of my past professional experience. Nothing egregious but I also think it’s important for mental health representation to be accurate, in all forms, whether practitioner or client.
I used to be a licensed clinical social worker in medical settings so I was very interested in Greer’s social work internship at a hospital. However, it was extremely underdeveloped. Hospital social workers do so much more than long-term care planning and it would have been great to see that. It also didn’t feel likely that the hospital would hire someone who has only a BSW, especially someone whose supervisor still accompanies all her patient visits and needs to be encouraged to take a more active role, at a year in. Perhaps supervision is required for all patient interactions for BSW students and perhaps Virginia law is different than the places I worked at, which required MSW and licensure for someone to be hired. Regardless, Alex refers to Greer as a social worker at the end but you must be licensed in order to refer to yourself as such. Virginia does allow licensure for someone with a BSW. However, there was no way she would have had time to take the test and complete the licensure process at that point.
I was also keenly interested in the way Alex’s panic attacks and anxiety were handled. Alex begins seeing a therapist and actually doing the work, which was wonderful to see. There are no magical fixes, no matter how much he wishes there were. It was great to see therapy on page but it was also very much a fictionalized version. I wouldn’t refer anyone to this therapist. (view spoiler)[She took a personal call in front of him and disclosed unnecessary information about her family. This was not a case of therapeutic self-disclosure. Greer was a former client of hers and while she didn't completely violate Greer's confidentiality, there were a few sentences that really toed the line. I also wasn't sure if her advice at the end was truly client-centered for Alex. The worst for me was when the the therapist answered the phone on the weekend (instead of an answering service) and then came to the hospital to see him and they essentially had therapy while walking on a track. Holy lack of boundaries. This should not happen! (hide spoiler)]
Despite my questions and qualms, this was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Alex and Greer take such good care of one another. It was wonderful to see Greer, Kit, and Zoe each get their HEAs in this series and the way it kept their friendships front and center. Clayborn writes with such care and her stories sing. I'm going to miss this crew.
Character notes: Greer is a 27 year old shy white BSW student. She has a cat named Kenneth. Alex is a 34 year old white photojournalist. He has panic attacks. This is set in Barden, VA.
CW: panic attacks, anxiety, heroine has Chiari malformation, broken arm and stitches required for cut after an accident, ableism/internalized ableism, alcohol, childhood poverty and neglect (past), reference to father’s stroke two year prior, past death of mother, ableist language, reference to father’s past alcoholism and gambling addiction, references to elderly hospital patients and long-term care planning, references to humanitarian crises...more
Loading...
