Italo Calvino, writing about why one should read the classics, said "A classic does not necessarily teach us anything we did not know before. In a claItalo Calvino, writing about why one should read the classics, said "A classic does not necessarily teach us anything we did not know before. In a classic we sometimes discover something we have always known (or thought we knew), but without knowing that this author said it first, or at least is associated with it in a special way. And this, too, is a surprise that gives a lot of pleasure, such as we always gain from the discovery of an origin, a relationship, an affinity." For me, expressing my thoughts about my all-time favourite comfort classic feels like navigating through a labyrinth of personal connections and evolving perspectives.
Throughout my life, this book has been a steadfast companion, its themes shifting in resonance as I've grown. In my childhood, I was enamoured by the hero's journey, the epic quest. As a teenager, it was Gollum's struggle, torn between temptation and redemption, that drew me. Now, in my late twenties, the theme of friendship and fellowship strikes a chord.
Of course, what truly sets Tolkien and The Lord of the Rings apart is the unparalleled depth of the world he created—an intricate tapestry of history, languages, cultures, and mythology. While the series is a classic tale of heroism and villainy, it has complexity, exemplified by the journey's end as the hobbits return to a scarred homeland, confronting the harsh reality of war's aftermath in the once-idyllic Shire.
The Lord of the Rings has always held a special place in my heart, evoking a sense of wonder and awe, a rare series that speaks to both the child and the adult in me. If it holds significance for you as well, chances are we'd become fast friends....more
When I flew to Kashmir this winter, I made it a point to learn more about the region. My first encounter with Kashmir was at the age of 10, when I visWhen I flew to Kashmir this winter, I made it a point to learn more about the region. My first encounter with Kashmir was at the age of 10, when I visited the Pakistan side with my father, Azad Kashmir. Now, at 28, I had the opportunity to visit from the India side, Jammu and Kashmir. Armed with only a faint awareness of its history and politics (neither of which have held much appeal for me as avenues of comprehension) I turned to literature instead: non-fiction with 'Territory of Desire: Representing the Valley of Kashmir,' fiction with 'Haroun and the Sea of Stories,' and the space in between with 'The Country Without A Post Office.' As I walked through the snow of Pahalgam and Gulmarg, was rowed across Dal Lake in Srinagar, Agha Shahid Ali's deliberately fragmented imagery of cracked portraits, flickering oil lamps, the saffron hue of the sun, and the picture-perfect yet hauntingly distant half-inch Himalayas, captured within a postcard from Kashmir, starkly contrasted with the stark reality of 'blood sheer rubies on Himalayan snow' unfolded Kashmir before me, weaving together beauty and brutality in a manner that was inescapable. I'm grateful to have found his poetry, as it has permanently shaped how I see Kashmir....more
The Brothers Karamazov is a blend of contrasting worldviews, embodied by its characters - the cold rationality of Ivan, the altruism of Alexei, and thThe Brothers Karamazov is a blend of contrasting worldviews, embodied by its characters - the cold rationality of Ivan, the altruism of Alexei, and the passion of Dmitri; this array of perspectives prompts readers to think about their own approach to life.
As I navigated the exceptionally well-woven web of relationships and ideas in this novel, I couldn't help but reflect on parallels with my own life and those of my friends. Some of my friends resemble Alyosha, embodying gentle stoicism, innate goodness, or warm empathy. Meanwhile, like Dmitri, other friends find ourselves wrestling with our demons, troubled by imperfection and impulses. Some of my friends also resemble Ivan, rationalizing all behaviors as “everything is permitted” (and who dares to counteract like Father Zosima, with a “everyone is responsible for everyone and for everything”?) However, all of us contain multitudes inside us, and Dostoevsky's refusal to offer a definitive answer reinforces the complexity of human nature, where morality is not a fixed point but a shifting landscape shaped by individual choices and circumstances.
So the novel probes the question of life's best path, mirroring the Karamazovian brothers' dual nature, each harboring conflicting abysses within. In Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov's turmoil stems from a relatable clash between his ideologies and conscience, echoing Dostoevsky's own inner struggle amid surroundings of moral ambiguity. Dostoevsky's personal battles, including a gambling addiction, epilepsy, torments endured such as the famous mock-execution ceremony which involved being led to believe he would be executed by firing squad before being spared at the last moment, serving as a form of psychological torture intended to break his spirits, jail time, and complex relationship with an avaricious, tyrannical father as reflected in Pavlovich's character (which the friend who cheekily recommended this to me was aware would resonate) shines through in this novel as a lifelong contemplation on the nature of good, evil, free will, and duty. Perhaps Dostoevsky believed that through such contemplation one could find redemption by embracing the truth of life's suffering....more
As I approach my third decade I appear to have found less than a dozen books that have resonated, shaped my perception of, romantic love.
Love as grieAs I approach my third decade I appear to have found less than a dozen books that have resonated, shaped my perception of, romantic love.
Love as grief in 'The Great Fires', regret in 'Remains of The Day', sickness in 'Love In The Time of Cholera,' delusion in 'From the Land of the Moon,' guilt in 'Atonement', power in 'The Song of Achilles', repression in 'Twilight', destruction in 'Wuthering Heights', meaning in 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being'. I've only recently started making sense of my confusion, but I expect to lose track of any understanding of romantic love again soon. The rest of my sentiments regarding it are best expressed by poets like Rilke or Cummings.
Can we not be forgiven if we believe books, like romantic love, can serendipitously find us at the right moment then? Alain de Botton, with his insightful and humorous philosophising, has helped me condense my thoughts on romantic love, and I anticipate chuckling for quite some time over the line, stuck in a sticky note above my desk, 'We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.'...more
Giovanni's Room has become a litmus test for how emotionally I am in touch with myself. A book about an inability to love, an impossible relationship;Giovanni's Room has become a litmus test for how emotionally I am in touch with myself. A book about an inability to love, an impossible relationship; for a long time I couldn't read past a few pages without my stomach in roiling knots. Last summer I could feel love, then winter came and with it as usual the clarity of grief. You can be delusional every time you go through this cycle, because romance is a shared delusion, but at one point we all have to confront the fragility and impermanence of love. Love through the lens of freedom or stability, youth or age, compatibility or incompatibility. That's what this book will give you. Every word was a gut-punch too close to home for a while. When Spring came and one could pretend the leaves were falling off their trees to greet you at exactly the right moment, I finally had the stomach to finish this heart-breaking book. Remember to tell your lover how much you love them while you still can....more
The Plum Village Monastery was established by Vietnamese monastic Thích Nhất Hạnh in 1982.
In 2022 a friend introduced me to The Way Out Is In podcast The Plum Village Monastery was established by Vietnamese monastic Thích Nhất Hạnh in 1982.
In 2022 a friend introduced me to The Way Out Is In podcast from Plum Village. This podcast series aims to help us foster a more compassionate engagement with the world. It is co-hosted by Brother Phap Huu, Thích Nhất Hạnh's personal attendant for 17 years and the abbot of Plum Village’s Upper Hamlet. Episode 2, titled "Lessons in Impermanence: How to Handle Life when Everything Changes" brought peace during a very rough time in my life, and has since guided me whenever I find myself having to navigating change: embracing non-attachment, living in the present, and practicing gratitude.
Inspired by this episode I chose to read Being Peace by Thích Nhất Hạnh, experiencing his calming wisdom, and learning more about "Engaged Buddhism": a perspective now aiding hospices, prisons, and forests around the world. Until then, I hadn't considered mindfulness seriously, often turning to literature, psychology, or philosophy in times of confusion and turmoil, as each holds the promise of answers to humanity's pressing questions.
Yet, spirituality, as I discovered through this book, offers insight too. Over two years, fighting my reluctance, I've managed to introduce pockets of mindfulness in my daily life. Breathing meditations, walking and cycling at my local park, and sleep affirmations, have helped me feel more freedom and happiness.
A retreat at Plum Village has become a must-do in my mind by 2062, representing a chance to immerse myself in simple and peaceful living....more
You'll be bothered by each masterfully painted character's passivity in the face of suffering they cause and experience. (view spoiler)[Oki's sexual aYou'll be bothered by each masterfully painted character's passivity in the face of suffering they cause and experience. (view spoiler)[Oki's sexual assault of child mistress Otoko, wife Fumiko's jealous acceptance of his infidelity and Otoko's teenage pregnancy and suicide attempt (hide spoiler)] will leave you surprised by the near-absence of emotional wounds that such injuries have on their adult lives until you realise traumatic memories will find an outlet (in this case through Keiko); even if you have repressed it in one generation, it will find its expression in the next. This book reminds me so much of my own family dynamics, it makes me realise that the reverberations of the past will always be felt but there can be both beauty and sadness in the bell's toll....more
We're given an absurd retcon for Edward's creeptastic behaviour: he knows he's being a stalkerish incel, so surely his actions should be forgiven.
StilWe're given an absurd retcon for Edward's creeptastic behaviour: he knows he's being a stalkerish incel, so surely his actions should be forgiven.
Still, it helps - there's no escaping how toxic the "romance" is when you have to sit through 658 pages of Edward's internal monologues. Do I love Bella more or want to kill her more?: it's clear the coin could flip either way. The book casts this "love story" in an appropriately darker light.
Hot take: Midnight Sun is a better read than Twilight because we dislike apologists more than fundamentalists. The apologist's mental gymnastics to defend the indefensible ("yes, this 104 old virgin has fallen in love with me, a milquetoast teenager, but that's not downright ephebophilic because he was frozen at 17...never mind the decades of life experience between us") grates on us more than the fundamentalist's shameless championing of their doctrine. Midnight Sun is at least not as intellectually dishonest...Edward knows what he's doing is wrong, but that won't stop him....more
During my preteen years, my best friend began pretending to be a boy named Alex, spinning a story of being from a different religion but willing to coDuring my preteen years, my best friend began pretending to be a boy named Alex, spinning a story of being from a different religion but willing to convert for me. I never met Alex but we went on to text, on and off, for the next few years. I felt unlovable enough to happily embrace this delusion for a considerable length of time. When she confessed it was her all along, our friendship shattered, leaving me feeling embarrassed and betrayed. It would take me a decade more to see us both for the repressed and fanciful little girls we were, a revelation that lingers in my thoughts.
In my early twenties, I came across "From the Land of the Moon" by Milena Agus. The simple story, where a young woman recounts her grandmother's life (view spoiler)[of arranged marriage, infertility, and solace in a passing romantic encounter with a veteran at a spa, only to unearth a hidden notebook after her death revealing that the affair had been almost entirely fictional (hide spoiler)], struck a chord. I saw myself in the grandmother's struggle, becoming aware of the absurdly thin and rather beautiful line between imagination and madness. It forced me to confront my own delusions, the consequence of a trauma similar to the one which prompted the grandmother's longing for compassion so intensely it drove her to imagine kindness into reality in its absence.
These reflections resurface with greater frequency in my late twenties. Is it any wonder some of my favourite books growing up were stories of unrequited love, such as Love in the Time of Cholera, The Great Gatsby, Great Expectations and most recently White Nights? How many of us must hold onto such functional delusions to survive life?...more
A Death in the Family by Karl Ove Knausgård compels us to confront our own messy truths. It is my favourite how-to guide on facing those inner shadowsA Death in the Family by Karl Ove Knausgård compels us to confront our own messy truths. It is my favourite how-to guide on facing those inner shadows head-on, with his unflinching honesty and raw authenticity. In his exploration of memory, of family, of loss, we find a roadmap for navigating our own tumultuous inner landscapes. The author's portrayal of his contradictions and vulnerabilities offers a glimpse into the complexities of human experience, inviting readers to confront their own experiences and emotions. It also prompts contemplation on the interplay between memory and storytelling, making us question the boundaries between fact and fiction within the narrative, which is submerged in seemingly mundane details about the author's life, yet captivates with its intense introspection. While writing about one's own life may seem less daunting than inventing fictional worlds, Knausgård's narrative demands a different kind of bravery and resilience.
Knausgård's depiction of his father's alcoholism, death, and aftermath are among the most visceral and sympathy-inducing pages I will ever encounter in a book. They leave me hesitant to delve into the second one, though I recognise the inevitability of doing so. He shaped my view of Norwegians, and meeting some confirmed it—they share his unapologetic candor and dysfunctional family dynamics.
In essence, A Death in the Family challenges readers to tackle their own truths head on, any resulting concussions be damned. If anyone ever asks me, 'What's the one book you'd hand over to someone confronting their inner demons?'—though, let's face it, not a likely scenario—my unequivocal answer would be this book....more
There were a lot of problems with this book. It's so easy to sloppily romanticise depression and mental illness that writers probably don't Goddammit.
There were a lot of problems with this book. It's so easy to sloppily romanticise depression and mental illness that writers probably don't even realise they're doing it. Readers don't notice. These books make some readers angry because they believe tragedy and trauma are being used as cheap plot devices but others find it relatable and it helps them cope.
This one has a lot of sicklit tropes. It's a tearjerker. I hate that Finch's depression and death was used as fodder for Violet's post-traumatic growth, even though seasoned readers could probably see the suicide coming from a mile away. (I was hoping against hope it wouldn't happen.) This book made me cry (I cried through the last 50 pages) because it made suicide look beautiful but it isn't, goddammit, so stop making me feel like it is. Stop doing this to me, writers. Now that the bubble's burst, I hate this book for emotionally manipulating me by making a character so relatable I was identifying myself and my loved ones in them. I feel sad because the writer meant well and wrote from personal experience and this book must have been her coping with her own grief and loss...
Almost every time I drop acid (something I've come to associate with clarity), I find myself returning to my favorite poem from "The Great Fires," theAlmost every time I drop acid (something I've come to associate with clarity), I find myself returning to my favorite poem from "The Great Fires," the book of poetry I cherish the most in the world.
Then, in a frenzy, I try to decode its meaning for unsuspecting strangers, wildly gesticulating toward any bonfire unfortunate enough to be nearby and exclaiming, "Can't you SEE the WOOD", desperately hoping they'll catch my drift before I set the whole place on fire.
In the 1970s, the poet Jack Gilbert lived in Japan with his partner, the sculptor Michiko Nogami. Tragically, Ms. Nogami succumbed to cancer in 1982. In her memory, Gilbert wrote "The Great Fires", a collection that meditates on the decade following his beloved wife's passing, offering stark and lyrical poems that portray grief, and the love from which it stems, as enduring physical burdens. Grief, like fire, represents the bare bones of love, persisting after the passage of time and the trials of life have stripped it down to its essence.
My dog-eared copy of this book is one of my most treasured possessions because, among all the words I've encountered, Jack Gilbert's poetry comes closest to capturing the language of love as I experience it, which, almost coincidentally, is the language of grief.
Here it is: "We think the fire eats the wood. We are wrong. The wood reaches out to the flame. The fire licks at what the wood harbors, and the wood gives itself away to that intimacy, the manner in which we and the world meet each new day. Harm and boon in the meetings. As heart meets what is not heart, the way the spirit encounters the flesh and the mouth meets the foreignness in another mouth. We stand looking at the ruin of our garden in the early dark of November, hearing crows go over while the first snow shines coldly everywhere. Grief makes the heart apparent as much as sudden happiness can."...more
While some might see Love in the Time of Cholera as a traditional love story, the relentless narrative of Gabriel García Márquez challenges such a simWhile some might see Love in the Time of Cholera as a traditional love story, the relentless narrative of Gabriel García Márquez challenges such a simplistic interpretation. Instead, the novel presents a nuanced exploration of love in its myriad forms. From forbidden love and unrequited love to obsession and carnal desire, Márquez leaves no aspect of love unexamined. Indeed, as with similar stories like Twilight, Wuthering Heights, The Great Gatsby, and Great Expectations that tap into primal human emotions and desires, the characters' actions often blur the lines between genuine affection and selfish motivations. Fermina's decision to marry for stability rather than happiness leaves her feeling like a ghost in her own life, while Florentino's 622 liaisons reveal a darker side to his romantic nature.
Firstly, in my reviews of these stories, I often find myself having to justify why I am so drawn to the theme of unrequited love. Recognising that literature doesn't always depict healthy relationships or idealised versions of humanity, some of us still find ourselves drawn to these stories because they reflect aspects of our own experiences, emotions, and struggles. Moreover, themes of longing, desire, and emotional connection in dark settings resonate with readers with trauma, as they reflect the complexities of their experiences, prompting self-recognition and potentially fostering transformation through acceptance of oneself. Lastly, despite their often questionable actions, these characters are multidimensional, inviting empathy and provoking thought.
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