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Althea Ann's Reviews > The Martian
The Martian
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'Crap! My astronaut crewmates accidentally left me behind on Mars! I'm fucked! I'm going to die! Oh wait! I just thought of something highly logically unlikely and technically complicated, that I am sure to pull off without a hitch, because did I mention that I am Plucky and Ingenious? It sure is a good thing that I am super-talented! Yay! That worked! I'm not dead! [Next chapter] But wait! Disaster has struck! Shit happens, when you're stuck alone on Mars. Whatever shall I do? OMG, I just had a great idea! It's a good thing I'm so naturally optimistic, because it sure would make for a bummer book if I ever showed any signs of being depressed or having any kind of mental deterioration after spending nearly two years in total solitude! Nah, I've got the fightin' spirit! I can create a life support system out of duct tape! What does Mars actually look like? Is there anything interesting from a scientific perspective about it? Who cares! I'm busy growing potatoes in shit and watching Three's Company! Did I mention that disco sucks?'
Repeat.
For a while.
I do not get the hype.
Repeat.
For a while.
I do not get the hype.
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Reading Progress
September 20, 2014
– Shelved as:
to-read
September 20, 2014
– Shelved
October 9, 2014
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Started Reading
October 10, 2014
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Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 261 (261 new)
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Daniel
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Oct 10, 2014 08:46PM
I feared that this might be the case...
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Here's a sentence from my review that sums up my feelings:"I think the best audience for this book is Boy Scouts and Doomsday Preppers."
But I laughed at your review. Honesty is important!
So far I liked your review a lot more than the book
If this is in the future and they can live on a space ship for years why do they have old, old TV show to watch. You would think they would have implants with a million shows and movies go watch. They design all this equipment and don't have any amazing entertainment for the future.
Great review Althea Ann! My problem with this book is the low brow humor, the author is not as funny as he thinks he is and almost spoils the book with his tiresome jokes.
Apatt wrote: "Great review Althea Ann! My problem with this book is the low brow humor, the author is not as funny as he thinks he is and almost spoils the book with his tiresome jokes."I agree. The guy is in a life or death situation and he talks like a jerk.
Connie wrote: "Apatt wrote: "Great review Althea Ann! My problem with this book is the low brow humor, the author is not as funny as he thinks he is and almost spoils the book with his tiresome jokes."I agree. T..."
I basically feel that if the author wanted to write humorous prose he should read some Oscar Wilde, Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams rather than base his humor on American Pie movies.
I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. I heard nothing but hype for this book, so when I didn't like it, I thought I just wasn't getting something. I really don't understand the humor in this book.
I liked this book a lot, but agree that it would have been more interesting with more actual descriptions of Mars.One thing about his constant optimism and plucky attitude - we're not seeing the whole story. We're reading a Mission log. There are clearly times when Mark does get depressed and lonely, he just doesn't write about them.
I really liked the book, but your review isn't entirely inaccurate and made me LOL really hard.
Funny review. :) Halfway through the book now and I feel the same but still find it worthwhile and somewhat entertaining. I wonder if any of the candidates slated for Mars One project have read this, lol....
Major disappointment. Your review was better written and funnier than the book.
He isn't naturally talented... He's an astronaut. It's a book, get over it.
Go, Dylan. I just loved the "low-brow" humor.
Great review. Dear potential reader: this book is definitely not for everyone. Try before you buy.
Loved the book and your review....hmm does that open some sort of wormhole? Whee!
This is exactly what I thought when I read this! All the sciency stuff is good, I just couldn't stand the protagonist like 50% of the time.
Perfect review. Waaaay better than the book, which I hated.
Aren't most books like this? A character with a agendas and something stops said character so they find a new way... over and over again until they succeed then it ends. By this logic you declare most books bad. I'm no botanist, but everything in the book seems plausible. Good future science fiction that could (hopefully doesn't ) happen when we finally make it to Mars.
Accurate review. The humour in this book made me cringe into another dimension.
Oh dear, I got caught up in the hype, and now have this book. Haven't read, maybe it will scientifically find it's way to Mars when I'm not watching.
Debbie "DJ" wrote: "Oh dear, I got caught up in the hype, and now have this book. Haven't read, maybe it will scientifically find it's way to Mars when I'm not watching."It's all subjective Debbie, quite a few of my friends (especially on Goodreads) like this book and I respect their opinion. Perhaps you could try the first chapter and see if it entertains you. I just had the same problem with Ringworld a classic sci-fi that failed to grab me.
I'll do that...try the first chapter. Haven't read a sci-fi before, so we'll see. (Ringworld was not even on my radar).
Debbie "DJ" wrote: "I'll do that...try the first chapter. Haven't read a sci-fi before, so we'll see. (Ringworld was not even on my radar)."Don't even begin to judge other sci-fi by this one, Debbie. I love sci-fi, but was bored silly by 'The Martian'. It's not just the tech/scientific stuff, though that does make it read more like a survival manual than a novel. It's the complete lack of character development and the endless endless endless 'jokes'.
Oh dear, character development is the most important part to me. Looks like this might be a one chapter read. And, no worries, still going to try a sci-fi book. :)
Hahaha this is EXACTLY the entirety of the book. I don't get the hype either.
Its fiction for a reason...let the man use his imagination. xD
Its fiction for a reason...let the man use his imagination. xD
It sucks!!!!! Worst book ever. Total garbage. All those who like this book are not to be trusted with anything slightly important or interesting. Andy Weir should be thrown into a jail immediately for subjecting the public to his offensive and gross spewings. Andy Weirdo is more like it. Why is everyone liking this book so much? And why is no one mentioning the homophobic and misogynistic jokes in it?? The main character comes off like a stunted, closeted, sociopathic pervert. Why does no one else see this? Weir says in his essay on it, that Watney is his alter ego, and who he would aspire to be. So sad Andy. I hope you develop some taste and decency and decid to never victimize the public again like this.
Yes, a hundred golden stars for your review! The book is such a disappointment. (as much as that Gravitation movie)
Astronauts are pretty fucking multi talented and ingenious, you fud.
A+ summation of the story. Every problem seemed to clean up too neatly after two log entries.
He's a fucking astronaut. Of course he's plucky and ingenious. You expected him to be dumb and depressed? That could be... interesting. Except the story doesn't work unless he wants to live. Really, really bad. The whole "let's break this novel down to it's component parts and make everything sound ridiculous and contrived" has been done once or twice before. If you're one of those adorable people who thinks it's clever and new, every story ever written, even the true ones -- no, especially the true ones -- sound lame when you pull them apart and turn them into sarcastic bullet-points.
Have you ever seen the movie Apollo 13? You might be a little young for it to be important to you, but that actually happened. "It sure is a good thing that I am super-talented!" Yeah, it is, otherwise he wouldn't have been there, because he wouldn't have been trained as an astronaut by NASA for fucking years. Some of the "jokes" got tiresome, though, I'll concede that.
I just found out this book is an upcoming movie! Great!!!!
This book is not for everyone? I feel sorry for the people who "it's not for."
Your review made me laugh more than the book, and it's spot on - and yet I enjoyed the book despite its many weaknesses.
Adam wrote: "Have you ever seen the movie Apollo 13?"It's name-checked in the book, and in the book, Watney even writes "If this were a movie..."
Yep, your review sums it up quite nicely.
Your synopsis is SO much more entertaining than the book!! (I only managed to get thru 10% of the tedium.)
It really is funny that men usually like the book while women don't. (I think women are more realistic and have more common sense, whereas men like to fantasize about adventures.)
"It really is funny that men usually like the book while women don't. (I think women are more realistic and have more common sense, whereas men like to fantasize about adventures.)"That is priceless. I think that's the first self-refuting comment I've had the pleasure of reading. I'm sure you're right, and it was the 'realism' of 'Twilight' that drew so many female readers; vampires are so much more believable than a manned mission to the red planet. Your notion of realism confirms your status as a delusional dolt, making blanket statements about reading habits with no relationship to the real world. If you really want to make idiotic sexist remarks, I'll counter by saying that novels marketed for women -- romance novels -- make up the lowest brow, most unimaginative corner of the industry. If, by realistic, you mean devoid of creativity and talent, that's as close as we'll get to agreeing. Think before you fucking write.
Yep, my thoughts exactly. Going like this, the book is way longer than it should have been. I pretty much got the idea after a few chapters.
@ Scapeghost: Maybe I should add that men are stupid and ill-mannered. Yet this wouldn't be fair because these adjectives apply only to you and individuals like you.
I don't consider Dostoyevsky, Faulkner, or Cormac McCarthy fantastic. I don't think there's much common sense or realism on display in the 'work' of Stephanie Meyer or 50 Shades of Gray.You might be a decent person, but you made a dumb, bigoted comment. Instead of admitting as much, you're going to argue its validity. Good luck with that, because the 'common sense' option would be admitting your mistake or shutting the fuck up. ;)
