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Kelly (and the Book Boar)'s Reviews > Darkfever
Darkfever (Fever, #1)
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Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Ahhhhh, stop yelling at me already and let me explain.
It seems everyone liked this book. I’m talking everyone. EVERYONE. Except me. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
Okay, not really. This is obviously a case of it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe I’m too mature for stories of the supernat . . . BWAHAHAHAHA! I couldn’t even type that without laughing. I don’t really know what went wrong, so I’m gonna play it safe and blame it on Sookie Stackhouse . . .
After riding out the horribleness which became the Southern Vampire series, I just wasn’t prepared to deal with yet another vapid waitress and her otherwordly interactions.
You see, Mac is a simple waitress from a simple small Southern town whose simple life gets flipped upside down when her sister gets murdered. Annnnnnnd of course Mac has to take it upon herself to travel halfway across the world in order to become an amateur Sherlock Holmes and find out “whodunit.” The problem? Well, Mac is an idiot. I mean, she made Sookie seem like a real braintrust, which is simply terrifying. Mac spends most of her time coordinating her ensembles with her nails, and don’t you know . . .
Yep, Mac referenced pink so much I thought I was going to barf Pepto Bismol.
Along the way, Mac meets a mysterious alpha male named Barrons who (like me) finds her insufferable, but (unlike me) somehow doesn’t follow his instincts to step aside and let her be murdered. Turns out that’s a good thing as Mac has some special powers of her own. Powers that detect the hidden Fae that walk amongst the normies as well as the ability to sense hidden Fae Objects of Power (OOPs for short).
Sidenote: My brain insisted on replacing OOP with O.P.P. – which is a VERY different thing. That song is still playing in my head. Are any of you even old enough to remember Naughty by Nature? Probably not *insert sad face* so here’s a little image that will show you how the song goes . . .
Okay, back on topic. Barrons recruits Mac in order to find the Sinsar Dubh – the most powerful of all of OOPs that can destroy the world as we know it. Talk about some serious pressure.
Get it? Anyone? Bueller? Under Pressure – Queen and David Bowie??? Hilarious!
Alright, so this book didn’t work for me and I didn’t like it, but I didn’t completely hate it either. Some things I enjoyed?
1. The writing wasn’t horrible and although I really don’t like first person narrative, I did like that Mac’s voice was well aware of the fact that she was telling a story that already happened. Seriously authors, if you are writing from first person it’s pretty obvious that person ISN’T DEAD, so don’t try to bullshit the reader into getting all nervous about whether they’re going to make it out alive.
2. Mac admits she’s a useless Barbie in times of crisis.
3. The setting. Although the world building was pretty lame for me, I’m assuming it gets better since there are a crapton more books in this series. However . . . Dublin???? That’s good – assuming Mac and Barrons ever leave the f-ing bookstore.
4. Mac’s superpower of detecting bad guys? She vomits. LOLOLOLOL. I got a kick out of that.
5. And last, but obviously not least, BARRONS. Duh, right? I haven’t yet read any reviews of this series, but I’m assuming there’s a lot of Joe Manganiello gifs to be had. For me, though? It was all about this dude . . .
and anytime I can’t get the image of Oded Fehr out of my head is a good time.
To all my homegirls out there who have read/are currently reading/or are re-reading this series – I’m sorry it didn’t work for me. I’m always the oddball : (
Ahhhhh, stop yelling at me already and let me explain.
It seems everyone liked this book. I’m talking everyone. EVERYONE. Except me. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
Okay, not really. This is obviously a case of it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe I’m too mature for stories of the supernat . . . BWAHAHAHAHA! I couldn’t even type that without laughing. I don’t really know what went wrong, so I’m gonna play it safe and blame it on Sookie Stackhouse . . .
After riding out the horribleness which became the Southern Vampire series, I just wasn’t prepared to deal with yet another vapid waitress and her otherwordly interactions.
You see, Mac is a simple waitress from a simple small Southern town whose simple life gets flipped upside down when her sister gets murdered. Annnnnnnd of course Mac has to take it upon herself to travel halfway across the world in order to become an amateur Sherlock Holmes and find out “whodunit.” The problem? Well, Mac is an idiot. I mean, she made Sookie seem like a real braintrust, which is simply terrifying. Mac spends most of her time coordinating her ensembles with her nails, and don’t you know . . .
Yep, Mac referenced pink so much I thought I was going to barf Pepto Bismol.
Along the way, Mac meets a mysterious alpha male named Barrons who (like me) finds her insufferable, but (unlike me) somehow doesn’t follow his instincts to step aside and let her be murdered. Turns out that’s a good thing as Mac has some special powers of her own. Powers that detect the hidden Fae that walk amongst the normies as well as the ability to sense hidden Fae Objects of Power (OOPs for short).
Sidenote: My brain insisted on replacing OOP with O.P.P. – which is a VERY different thing. That song is still playing in my head. Are any of you even old enough to remember Naughty by Nature? Probably not *insert sad face* so here’s a little image that will show you how the song goes . . .
Okay, back on topic. Barrons recruits Mac in order to find the Sinsar Dubh – the most powerful of all of OOPs that can destroy the world as we know it. Talk about some serious pressure.
Get it? Anyone? Bueller? Under Pressure – Queen and David Bowie??? Hilarious!
Alright, so this book didn’t work for me and I didn’t like it, but I didn’t completely hate it either. Some things I enjoyed?
1. The writing wasn’t horrible and although I really don’t like first person narrative, I did like that Mac’s voice was well aware of the fact that she was telling a story that already happened. Seriously authors, if you are writing from first person it’s pretty obvious that person ISN’T DEAD, so don’t try to bullshit the reader into getting all nervous about whether they’re going to make it out alive.
2. Mac admits she’s a useless Barbie in times of crisis.
3. The setting. Although the world building was pretty lame for me, I’m assuming it gets better since there are a crapton more books in this series. However . . . Dublin???? That’s good – assuming Mac and Barrons ever leave the f-ing bookstore.
4. Mac’s superpower of detecting bad guys? She vomits. LOLOLOLOL. I got a kick out of that.
5. And last, but obviously not least, BARRONS. Duh, right? I haven’t yet read any reviews of this series, but I’m assuming there’s a lot of Joe Manganiello gifs to be had. For me, though? It was all about this dude . . .
and anytime I can’t get the image of Oded Fehr out of my head is a good time.
To all my homegirls out there who have read/are currently reading/or are re-reading this series – I’m sorry it didn’t work for me. I’m always the oddball : (
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Reading Progress
November 24, 2014
–
Started Reading
November 24, 2014
– Shelved
November 24, 2014
–
1.0%
"If everyone else is reading this then I say f*&^ it. I'm going to read it too!"
November 24, 2014
–
7.0%
""Tall, strong, powerful muscle poured into black leather pants, black boots, and - yes, you guessed it, a real drama king - a black shirt."
BWAHAHAHA! Sorry girls - I had to."
BWAHAHAHA! Sorry girls - I had to."
November 25, 2014
–
19.0%
""When I get mad I have imaginary conversations in my head - you know, the kind where you say that really smart thing you always wish you'd think of at the time but never do . . ."
"
"
November 25, 2014
–
29.0%
""Somebody'd been watching too much WB and it wasn't me."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was me : (
"
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was me : (
"
November 26, 2014
– Shelved as:
read-in-2014
November 26, 2014
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 52 (52 new)
^^^No shit. Oh, and thanks. Now hurry up and read something popular and dislike it. It's like "Troll Hot Potato" ; )
message 3:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 3 stars
"Yep, Mac referenced pink so much I thought I was going to barf Pepto Bismol."ROFL!! My thoughts exactly!
Great review Kelly:)
Thanks!
I reluctantly 'liked' your review, Kelly. *cough*
My alter-ego will be back to troll the hell out of this review in a bit, but I have brickle drop cookies in the oven, and can't give you the proper dressing-down that you deserve...
NO cookies for you!
PS - Totally got the Under Pressure and O.P.P. references!
Anne wrote: "Although, not because I you know...remember that shit. Had to Google it. Really!"Since I'm younger than 29, I KNOW that you didn't have to Google anything ; )
Anxiously awaiting my drive-by trolling.
I felt much the same way afte reading this, but the masses say 'it gets better.' Do I believe them?!? To read on or not to read on...that iz zee question.Totally agree with your #3. I mean I love bookstores and all, but come on ;)
Kristen, I've been burned so many times by promises of a good series that I just refuse to do it anymore. If #1 doesn't grab me, it's just not gonna happen. Yeah, #3 doesn't include the promise of really creepy Fae . . . but then she introduced the "I will kill you by ruining your vagina" guy and that was the end of those good times : (
Don't know who Oded Fehr is but looks delicious ^^So sorry it didn't work for you, Kelly. I didn't read Sookie Stackhouse yet but I felt the same way about Mac in my first read.
Mac’s superpower of detecting bad guys? She vomits. LOLOLOLOL. I got a kick out of that.
This cracked me up too ^^
Edward, you're the bestest.Anne - you're the WORSTEST (goes without saying).
Liz - Oded Fehr was in DEUCE BIGALOW, MALE GIGALOW of all things. (Obviously I have zero shame when it comes to admitting my favorite movies are TERRIBLE). Anywho, he was also in The Mummy movies and a cable show about terrorists (Sleeper Cell maybe????)
Great review!!! Although now every time I read OOP I will be singing the Naughty by Nature song in my head. Yes, I'm old to remember it.
OPP, YEAH YOU KNOW ME!!! LOL fantastmic review! And that song is now on a loop in my head...
Anne wrote: "I reluctantly 'liked' your review, Kelly. *cough*
My alter-ego will be back to troll the hell out of this review in a bit, but I have brickle drop cookies in the oven, and can't give you the prope..."
I'm sorry, but WTF are brickle drop cookies? lol Seriously though.
*ahem*Dear Kelly and the (Book Boar with Really Bad Taste),
How could you write such an ill-informed and hurtful review about my boyfriend and his...girlfriend?
This is UNACCEPTABLE! If you didn't like this book, then you need to go back and read it again. And again and again and again...until you realize that this is an amazing piece of literature.
And you will eventually realize it.
Because this book changed my life!
But only if you let it, Kelly. Only if you let it...
Yay for all us old chicks and our knowledge of raunchy rap songs : ) We rule!Second about brickle drop cookies. That name doesn't sound appetizing, which means they are probably delicious.
Yes, I concur. Craving snickerdoodles now...
Miss Val *Shameless, Bitchy, Skanky & Not Sorry* wrote: "Anne wrote: "I reluctantly 'liked' your review, Kelly. *cough*
My alter-ego will be back to troll the hell out of this review in a bit, but I have brickle drop cookies in the oven, and can't give ..."
You know those Heath Bars? The ones with the toffee n stuff?
You make cookies out of that! A-MAZING!
(view spoiler)
Anne wrote: "you need to go back and read it again. And again and again and again..."Good try, but you forgot the part where you tell me how to "use my words" and stop making "pitcherbooks" for reviews.
Anne wrote: "Miss Val *Shameless, Bitchy, Skanky & Not Sorry* wrote: "Anne wrote: "I reluctantly 'liked' your review, Kelly. *cough*
My alter-ego will be back to troll the hell out of this review in a bit, but..."
My butt just grew 10 sizes.
"pitcherbooks"*falls out of chair*
Well, I'm stuffing my face with delicious cookies right now, so you can't expect my A-game.
Yes, I know I rated it a 5 and you didn't like it, but that's okay - my first go round, I couldn't stand Mac at all. It was only AFTER I finished the series and did a reread that I upped my rating. But I also read it before I discovered e-readers, and I was stranded in Germany for 2 years with limited reading material - which is also why I persevered beyond book one to begin with.BTW - Oded is TOTALLY perfect for Barrons. I'd sort of had a beefed up David Gandy in my head, but Oded is much better, so thanks for that!
^_^
Nice review.
Those sound yummy! Alas, they also sound like something I will never make as it would involve using my oven, which I prefer to refer to as "my extra storage cabinet."
HJ wrote: "Yes, I know I rated it a 5 and you didn't like it, but that's okay - my first go round, I couldn't stand Mac at all. It was only AFTER I finished the series and did a reread that I upped my rating..."NO! Don't give her an inch, HJ! She's evil and wrong...make her suffer!
Well Kelly.... you obviously read the book WRONG and shouldn't review books when you have no idea what you are talking about.
Bahahahaha j/k
Oded Fehr. Niiiice.
Bahahahaha j/k
Oded Fehr. Niiiice.
Anne, Sh3lly (and everyone else) - As long as we're all clear that I'm an idiot, it's good ; )HJ - thanks for the kind words. I don't know why I didn't like this one. Lord knows I've liked WAAAAY more terrible stuff.
thanks. now singing Naughty by Nature. woot wootand Oded is super sexy esp in the Mummy movies. Good gifs. Good review.
You are my hero! (tho I didn't get half of these references, who's sookie?)oh and what cracked ME up was when she was unconsciously taking her clothes off, I was snort-laughing with my eyes coming out of their rightful place! :D
I love this review!!! I agree with sooooooooo much of what you said. This one is my least favorite of the series. It does get better, and so does Mac. I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you!! But I can absolutely understand why it didn't. And your Barrons is yummy too...but yes, Joe M is mine. ;0)
binnudeya wrote: "You are my hero! (tho I didn't get half of these references, who's sookie?)oh and what cracked ME up was when she was unconsciously taking her clothes off, I was snort-laughing with my eyes comin..."
Ha! Thanks. See, Anne, I'm a HERO dammit!!!
Sookie is "Sookie Stackhouse" from the book series that became True Blood. It went way downhill and she was also a moron.
Shandra {The Happy New Mrs} wrote: "I love this review!!! I agree with sooooooooo much of what you said. This one is my least favorite of the series. It does get better, and so does Mac. I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you!! B..."Ah, no worries. I don't expect to like everything (even if everyone else does - that part is kind of a bummer). Joe M. is my ideal for nearly EVERYTHING so I had to mix it up a bit ; )
TL wrote: "nice review kelly :)"Alissa wrote: "thanks. now singing Naughty by Nature. woot woot
and Oded is super sexy esp in the Mummy movies. Good gifs. Good review."
Thank you : )
Mac was a complete airhead in the beginning but she gets better and tougher as the series progresses.One of the few pn/uf series I wouldn't mind re-reading even though the genre lost its charm for me ages ago.
Ha! Thanks. See, Anne, I'm a HERO dammit!!!No.
But...
message 36:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(last edited Nov 27, 2014 07:51AM)
(new)
-
rated it 3 stars
Kelly, it does get better. I hated Mac until book 4. She's as kick-ass as they get now!;)
Thanks Etnik : )
I would really consider continuing on with the series! I really didn't care for the first one for a lot of the same reasons you listed here (the Sookie Stackhouse comparisons, Mac's utter uselessness) but it and she get better in the next book and the rest of the series.
This one didn't work for me either. I feel like I should love it to pieces like the rest of my friend, but I just can't.
Love your review and the Fever series. Notice how I said the Fever series and not Darkfever. Didn't love it. Didn't love Mac. Too much pink and bitching about her generation. She gets better, then awesome, just like the books.And you don't have to be old to know OPP, just AWESOME!!!
Yay for Samantha for giving it a lower rating than I did ; )And yay for Tanya for recognizing the awesome factor of Naughty by Nature.
Chloe, I'll never say never about returning to this series, but it won't be anytime soon. My to read list is too overwhelming already.
Hahaha! I love the O.P.P. pic! I loved this series, but hey, we're all different, which makes everything so much more interesting
Great review - I couldnt get past the sample on this one - the part where that family is killed and the detail of the child's bone fragments (or something to that effect) just made me want to gouge the Authors eyes out >< so no, not for me!!
I've read a few of these books and consistently rolled my eyes so hard they almost rolled right out of my head and/or wanted to slap Mac really hard. She is the most annoying character in an urban fantasy landscape riddled with annoying characters. The worst.
Great review Kelly!! I loved that you mention O.P.P in your review. That was one of my status updates. I seriously can't get that song out of my head every time Mac mentions it. And she mentions it a lot!! Hahaha! I never read it as O.O.P.
I almost died laughing reading your review LOL! I actually loved this book, I just finished reading it and Im looking forward to reading the rest but as usual I very much enjoy reading your reviews :)
Thanks Ursula. I really was hoping I'd like this one : (
HA! HAHAHAHA oh god I love this!
I was thinking of starting this series, but I can't tolerate a Barbiesque Heroine. I only made it halfway through the first Sookie Stackhouse book because I couldn't relate to the main characters. Your review was informative and VERY entertaining. Thank you!
Ps...You just got the trolls back!!