Adina (way behind)'s Reviews > How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
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bookshelves: non-fiction, business

I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It's an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways.

So, the book wasn't total garbage. As I said above, it had some good advice about the subject of win friends and influence people although there was a lot of filler in order to make his principle into a book. Some examples were really interesting others a bit ridiculous.

One of the problems I had with the author and one I find too often in self-help books is the condescending tone, the ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved.

It was an interesting read, I learn some useful skills but it isn't groundbreaking anymore in my opinion.
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Reading Progress

December 20, 2015 – Shelved as: to-read
December 20, 2015 – Shelved
December 20, 2015 – Shelved as: non-fiction
July 30, 2018 – Started Reading
September 13, 2018 –
page 50
17.36%
September 27, 2018 –
page 100
34.72%
October 3, 2018 – Finished Reading
August 30, 2021 – Shelved as: business

Comments Showing 1-44 of 44 (44 new)

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message 1: by Trina (new)

Trina Gloury I really love this idea. Look forward to reading about how your experiment goes 😊


Adina (way behind) Trina wrote: "I really love this idea. Look forward to reading about how your experiment goes 😊" My experiment is almost finish. Started six and planning to finiah 4. One I already read and it will be my last post in the series, probably on Wednesday.


Helio Hi Adina, I thought this "dated" book would be a hoot but it ended up offering some practical advice.


Adina (way behind) Helio wrote: "Hi Adina, I thought this "dated" book would be a hoot but it ended up offering some practical advice." Yes, some of it seems useful.


message 5: by Jan (new) - rated it 3 stars

Jan I read this years upon years ago in college. Even then it was older, but I realized then that there were some enduring truths in its pages. At the time I was struck by how revolutionary this book must have been when it was first written, and then over these following decades I've come to appreciate its direct message. I don't recall all of it now, but it doesn't surprise me that many are still learning from this book.


Janet M Long time since I read this at my dad's insistence, as a child. Looking forward to your reactions, Adina!


Adina (way behind) Jan wrote: "I read this years upon years ago in college. Even then it was older, but I realized then that there were some enduring truths in its pages. At the time I was struck by how revolutionary this book m..." It seems that there still are some thruth in there. Looking forward to discovering more.


Adina (way behind) Janet M wrote: "Long time since I read this at my dad's insistence, as a child. Looking forward to your reactions, Adina!" I hope to finish it next month, if i don't start other books that I shouldn't.


Padfootprong ... why would a review of a book need how and where you found the book and your brief life history? The first paragraph adds nothing to the review.


Adina (way behind) Padfootprong wrote: "... why would a review of a book need how and where you found the book and your brief life history? The first paragraph adds nothing to the review." That's because it is not really a review. It's about a personal challenge that I created to get rid of some unread books in my library. I shared the personal information for my friends that followed that challenge. I will write a more "proper" review when I'll finish the book. To be honest I wasn't expecting to get so many votes and appear on the first page of community reviews. Still, I usually add some personal details in my reviews and I don't feel guilty about it. I don't pretend to be a professional reviewer so I write whatever I want. I am sorry if some people don't like that but that's ok with me.


message 11: by Janet M (last edited Aug 22, 2018 12:49PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Janet M Adina, for what it's worth, your method of downsizing sounds like a great idea. I may try it myself - and thus free up more living space, lol.


message 12: by Andreea (new)

Andreea Props to you for reading a self help book despite hating the genre - I get your feeling! I for one can't help but feel like they're patronising and they lack literary value. Hope you enjoy it through the end! Also, your method of getting rid of unread books is great - I too have hundreds of them that I need to tackle.


message 13: by Mackey (new) - added it

Mackey This is a great goal! When I like an author I tend to purchase all of their books from used bookstores - but then I have all of these books that I haven't read. :( I should do this and see if I can't knock out a few of those unread books!


Adina (way behind) Janet M wrote: "Adina, for what it's worth, your method of downsizing sounds like a great idea. I may try it myself - and thus free up more living space, lol." Let me know if you suceed.


Adina (way behind) Andreea wrote: "Props to you for reading a self help book despite hating the genre - I get your feeling! I for one can't help but feel like they're patronising and they lack literary value. Hope you enjoy it throu..." Agree. This one is also patronising and yes, not much literary value. There are some useful advices but mostly is talk, talk, talk,


Adina (way behind) Adina wrote: "Janet M wrote: "Adina, for what it's worth, your method of downsizing sounds like a great idea. I may try it myself - and thus free up more living space, lol." Let me know if you suceed." I used to do that but I gave up because I ended with some books that weren't so great by a certain author or getting bored by the writing. Now I go one by one.


message 17: by Licha (new)

Licha Adina, I love your idea for downsizing. It's always such a hard thing to do, but before you realize it, you become inundated with books, and some hard choices must be made. I would love to see how this idea works out for you. Also, I like the personal touches in anyone's reviews. Goodreads is much more than just straight-shoot reviews. The personal tidbits in reviews is what makes me relate to the reviewer as if I were talking one on one with the reviewer about a book.


Padfootprong Cheers. I didn't meant to offend, it was just an observation. I hate when I am looking up recipes and the blog goes on and on about their cleaning dog and how they got married 800 years ago before they actually get to the recipe. I think I just came one such post to this review of yours so had to put that down. Again, no offence. Feel free to write whatever you have to :)


message 19: by Igor (new) - rated it 2 stars

Igor Ljubuncic The problem with all self-help book is that they are not actually self-help. Someone else is telling others what to do, almost like a cult leader. You're spot on vis-a-vis condescending tone.

Igor


message 20: by Holly (new)

Holly Padfootprong - I find it interesting that you felt the need to critique the writing of this review, when you have never written a review on this site yourself. As for your criticism of free recipe blogs - if you want recipes without commentary, maybe buy a cookbook? That's their blog and you are welcome to just not read it. Who would want to spend large chunks of their time just cooking food and typing up recipes without being paid for that? People only continue to do it because the personal color commentary that annoys you is what they personally find enjoyable - they are building a community and connecting with their readers and other bloggers. I'm not even a blogger, so I don't have a dog in this fight. I really don't mean to cause you offense either, and I am not saying that sarcastically.

Adina - I feel like self help/instructional books never age well. My mother-in-law gave me a baby guide type book when I was pregnant with my second child (um, I already had a kid, what are you trying to tell me? LOL) and this baby book was written before I was even born. The advice was basically the opposite of most things that are recommended now. Society and culture and norms change too quickly for a long shelf life for these kinds of books, but I'm glad to hear at least some things still applied. :)


Helio Regarding your comment "ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved. 

all too true


Adina (way behind) Padfootprong wrote: "Cheers. I didn't meant to offend, it was just an observation. I hate when I am looking up recipes and the blog goes on and on about their cleaning dog and how they got married 800 years ago before ..." Ok, no problem. I actually like those blogs. I guess we all have different tastes.


Adina (way behind) Igor wrote: "The problem with all self-help book is that they are not actually self-help. Someone else is telling others what to do, almost like a cult leader. You're spot on vis-a-vis condescending tone.

Igor"
Thank you. I see that especially in the older books of this type.


Adina (way behind) Holly wrote: "Padfootprong - I find it interesting that you felt the need to critique the writing of this review, when you have never written a review on this site yourself. As for your criticism of free recipe ..." Haha about you MIL giving you a parenting book. Books about raising babies come in so many forms and types that even the current ones contradict themselves. Sleep schedule/no schedule, breastfeeding by demand or at 3 hours etc. Makes one dizzy, I don't even want to think what would be written in an old book.

Ps. Even some cookbooks have personal information such as Jamie Oliver's which I like.


Adina (way behind) Helio wrote: "Regarding your comment "ones that tells you how smart he is and that she is the only one capable to tell you how success is achieved. 

all too true"
I agree with me. :)


Padfootprong Holly wrote: "Padfootprong - I find it interesting that you felt the need to critique the writing of this review, when you have never written a review on this site yourself. As for your criticism of free recipe ..."

What does my writing (or not writing) a review have to do with anything?

I do own several cookbooks (around 25 of them) and precisely for the reasons you mentioned :) Maybe it's just me but I like being efficient - when I go to a restaurant, I just want to eat - I don't really care what the chef has been doing with his life; when I call 999 about an emergency, I want the dispatcher to send me help and not tell me about her life history; and when I am deciding whether or not to read a book and look at the review, I want to know what the readers thought about the book. Again, it's my personal opinion and the way I like things. If you like all of the other information, good for you :)

Conversely, I tend to like sites that are to the point and don't pollute the the information, like BBC Good Food. Pure recipes. No fuss; StackExchange sites. Direct answers to questions, no faffing about. These sites will draw me way more than others that have unrelated information. Again, note that this is just the way I like things and I'm not forcing it on you :)


Padfootprong @adina, apologies, I seem to have hijacked your review for something entirely unrelated and moot!


Adina (way behind) Padfootprong wrote: "@adina, apologies, I seem to have hijacked your review for something entirely unrelated and moot!" No problem


message 29: by Chris (new) - rated it 1 star

Chris Williams Finding it hard to read it online please I need help


message 30: by Job (new) - rated it 3 stars

Job Hart I really don't understand how this book grew to be so popular.. Don't you think this is a disappointing simplification on human interaction? If we would use this at work per example, would anyone ever take us serious? Just blowing along with everyone's opinions and never making a point. Others would not have the change to get to know us, cause we would never talk about what we like.. I dunno but I really didn't like this. Have you tried to use it irl? And what were your experiences


message 31: by Igor (new) - rated it 2 stars

Igor Ljubuncic Most books like this are retrospective wisdom, like everything in life. You don't know in advance that something is going to work, and context is everything.
Igor


Adina (way behind) Job wrote: "I really don't understand how this book grew to be so popular.. Don't you think this is a disappointing simplification on human interaction? If we would use this at work per example, would anyone e..." I agree. I am not a fan of these kind of books so i do not have too much experience in using them. i haven''t applied this one so can't say if it works.


Adina (way behind) Igor wrote: "Most books like this are retrospective wisdom, like everything in life. You don't know in advance that something is going to work, and context is everything.
Igor"
I agree with you on that.


Suyog Sonar Good review Adina. I also feel that books in these kind of genres are mostly repetitive and invaluable. But I kind of liked this one. Pretty fair advices here in the book. And especially relevant today. And if someone is so inclined to apply this one, it might work well.


Adina (way behind) Suyog wrote: "Good review Adina. I also feel that books in these kind of genres are mostly repetitive and invaluable. But I kind of liked this one. Pretty fair advices here in the book. And especially relevant t..." Maybe i should apply some advice as well but I would have to re-read it.


message 36: by Q (new) - rated it 4 stars

Q Adina. Thx fir your honest review. I read this years and years ago while working in Corp world. We had a consultant come in and give us some exercises that Dale Carnegie used for memorizing and public speaking. Forgot must of what he taught but has helpful in creating and remembering email passwords!! Also I was afraid of public speaking. And the tips were good. Common place now but not then. He would of poo-pooed the use of power points as uncreative and boring. Every talk should be unique and to your audience.


Adina (way behind) Q wrote: "Adina. Thx fir your honest review. I read this years and years ago while working in Corp world. We had a consultant come in and give us some exercises that Dale Carnegie used for memorizing and pub..." Thank you for your comment. I agree that powerpoints are not very good attention grabber.


Blaze-Pascal I had the blues because I had no shoes, until I walked down the street and saw a man with no feet.


message 39: by Michael (last edited May 30, 2022 10:15AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Michael Perkins I read this years ago. One of Carnegie's insights has stayed with me, i.e. no one, not even the worst criminals, will accept the fact that they are bad people.


message 40: by Richard S (new)

Richard S Believe it or not Dale Carnegie courses still exist and use this book as a model. My son took the course and it really improved his confidence level. I don’t think it’s directed at a sophisticated intellectual crowd but it really helps those who are shy or socially awkward.


Adina (way behind) Michael wrote: "I read this years ago. One of Carnegie's insights has stayed with me, i.e. no one, not even the worst criminals, will accept the fact that they are bad people." That is a good one and true, probably


message 42: by Mo (new) - rated it 3 stars

Mo Ha Just checked, I gave it 3 stars as well, but in this day an age with motivational captions on social media most points are probably known to us. I can understand its pull in those days of baby boomers and no Internet.


message 43: by Sai (new)

Sai I feel the same about the condescending tone of many self-help books. This one, especially. This book is so outdated now, I lowkey judge the people who take it so seriously (and they are usually men). In any case, great review. Hope you have a nice day.


Adina (way behind) Sai wrote: "I feel the same about the condescending tone of many self-help books. This one, especially. This book is so outdated now, I lowkey judge the people who take it so seriously (and they are usually me..." Well, it is a very "masculine" book.


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