Kerri's Reviews > Stories I Only Tell My Friends

Raising my rating to five stars after this second read because of my enjoyment and the fact that I have I thought of this book quite frequently in the years since I first read it. Rob Lowe is a wonderful storyteller and his life makes for interesting reading!

He has obviously lived a very interesting life, but he is also very good at telling the stories. He manages to share a lot without being gossipy or undermining those around him, which I appreciate. His encounter with Liza Minnelli was particularly heartwarming.

The descriptions of the darker side of growing up in Malibu have stayed with me since the first reading, and felt even more troubling to read. He recounts many tragic deaths, and his insight into this led to one of my favourite paragraphs from the book:
"Why was hideous and untimely death so commingled with the experience that was Malibu in the mid-'70s? There were drugs, which weren't as understood as they are today, there was also the wild and rough nature of the personalities Malibu attracted. But more important, there was a price to be paid for a culture that idealizes the relentless pursuit of "self". Malibu was a wellspring of counterculture group think. To be counter to the culture, you are by definition willfully and actively ignoring the culture, i.e., reality. And when you ignore reality for too long, you begin to feel immune to, or above, the gravitational pull that binds everyone else. You are courting disaster."

His struggle with the newfound heart-throb status is interesting too. He was mobbed by crowds of girls, in scenes that feel more frightening than flattering. He observes that, "The girls' reactions seemed almost programmed, like they were both the performers and the audience in a teen-angst drama that had nothing to do with me."

A large section of the book is focused on The Outsiders -- the process of auditioning and then the actual production. It's fascinating to read about the various cast members, most early in their careers but who went on to make many more excellent films. Most of Rob Lowe's scenes were cut from the film, and having read the book and loved the way it focuses more on the family dynamic between the three brothers, I would love to see the The Outsiders: The Complete Novel which adds all of this back to the film.

It's interesting to me how a similarly significant role later in his career, as Sam Seaborn in The West Wing ended up echoing this experience in some ways, as he won a coveted part in a show that became groundbreaking, but was never really given any significant storylines. Having watched the first five seasons of the show, I feel he was well cast and well suited to the show, so I am unsure why his character wasn't used more. It felt like a wasted opportunity to me, and I can understand why he left.

His journey to sobriety and marrying his wife, Sheryl, was inspiring reading, as was the way his career progressed once he was in a better place mentally and emotionally.


Something I was frequently impressed with as I read was just how many good, truly good, projects he has been a part of, often playing quite varied roles. He managed to defy the odds against his early "pretty boy" images and carve out a brilliant career for himself, particularly in comedy. That he has lasted decades in an industry that often prefers the next big thing to someone established with a proven track record is wonderful to observe. He does note somewhere in the book that magazine covers used to be reserved for established stars, people who had earned their place, but over time focus shifted to the young actors just starting out. I think in recent years we are starting to see a bit more of a balance between the two, which I personally hope continues.

This was a buddy read with my friend Carolyn, and it allowed for lots of interesting conversations!