Lisa's Reviews > Eleven Minutes

I thought it was just me. I'm so glad I'm not alone in finding Coelho's "novels" utter drivel :)

Campbell wrote: "I thought it was just me. I'm so glad I'm not alone in finding Coelho's "novels" utter drivel :)"

Coelho is one of my pet hates, as I am consistently asked to try one of his "inspiring" writings by people who do not read themselves but want to please me and know that I am a hopeless bookworm. I was teased into writing a review of The Alchemist once by a dear goodreads friend, and out came all my frustration. I wonder how he can be taken seriously. But then again, most people I know IRL can't for their life understand why I love The Divine Comedy.

He's the Deepak Chopra of novelists. What he writes sounds, at first glance, deep and meaningful but if you stop to think about it (or, possibly, stop to throw up) you realise that not only does the Emperor wear no clothes, the clothes he isn't wearing are really, really ugly. (Yes, that was me trying to mimic his pseudodeep rubbish :) ).

Agree as well. I think he has the potential of being a successful spiritual guide in a television show - at least he would reach the intended audience.

Campbell wrote: "He's the Deepak Chopra of novelists. What he writes sounds, at first glance, deep and meaningful but if you stop to think about it (or, possibly, stop to throw up) you realise that not only does th..."

Thank you for that, Campbell! Perfect imitation. Laughing tears! That was exactly the kind of logic that came to my mind when I tried to make sense of the completely idiotic quote from the Alchemist: "What happens once can never happen again. What happens twice will always happen again." I guess the whole universe did conspire to make me NOT see the ugly nonexistent clothes of the emperor... and what was left for me was to think that he was quite ugly naked as well...

Jacob wrote: "Agree as well. I think he has the potential of being a successful spiritual guide in a television show - at least he would reach the intended audience."

Which would presumably be sheep?

Lisa wrote: "Jacob wrote: "Agree as well. I think he has the potential of being a successful spiritual guide in a television show - at least he would reach the intended audience."

Which would presumably be sheep?"

Meeeh... who are the core followers of Dr Phil and Ohpra W?

I thought it was a great Review Lisa!
I,know I won't be reading another book Paul Coelho after reading The Alchemist...when I read it I wanted to shout (maybe I did) at the book 'Get to the bloody point Coelho before I go insane and starting chewing my arm off!"

Amanda wrote: "I thought it was a great Review Lisa!
I,know I won't be reading another book Paul Coelho after reading The Alchemist...when I read it I wanted to shout (maybe I did) at the book 'Get to the bloody ..."

I wonder if that is one of the main tactics of Coelho, to put his readers to the brink of insanity in order for them to start appreciating his nonsense?

In the shop I find the same people who raved over The Secret also love Coehlo.

What happens once can never happen again. What happens twice will always happen again.

Let's see if I can figure out what that means by applying it to a real life situation:
Lisa reads a Paulo Coelho book and therefore can never read a Paulo Coelho book again.
Right?
No, that's not right - Lisa has read a second Coelho book so she must be destined to continue reading Coelho books forever...

Help! We need to send in the rescue team - Lisa's got the subterranean booksick blues!

After reading The Alchemist, his work is definitely a no-go area for me! No second chances, oh no...

Recidivism?

Fionnuala wrote: "What happens once can never happen again. What happens twice will always happen again.

Let's see if I can figure out what that means by applying it to a real life situation:
Lisa reads a Paulo Coe..."

Oh help, Fionnuala! I can not stop laughing, although I am choking on my (third, because since I had two, I'll have to have more!) coffee and getting the hickups!

That is terrible logic applied to Coelho's drivel! Now I have a reason to ask the whole universe to conspire to make sure there is no truth in anything he says, because the universe has already provided me with dangerous omens: two unread novels in my shelf, that the universe brought in the form of well-meaning people's birthday presents. The titles are providing the omens for my soon-to-come collapse: Veronica decides to die, and The witch of Portobello...

What shall I do? Wear a sheep skin?

Jean-Paul wrote: "Why am I not surprised at the number of stars :-)"

Is it possible to give minus-stars? Or skulls? Or sheep? I think it would be a nice feature if we could customize our rating with emojis... Five doctorate hats for Goethe, endless rows of sheep for Coelho. After all, it's not all in the stars, is it?

OH, my Goodness, I got an instant message to return to the crash course in sarcasm removal, and that on a Sunday morning...

Michael wrote: "Recidivism?"

Plead guilty, but I think there is a period of prescription, as I haven't touched anything remotely like Coelho in years...

So, ah, Lisa, you don't think it was Fate that caused this book to fall into your hands, and it reveals a Higher Purpose in the universe? Just checking.

Manny wrote: "So, ah, Lisa, you don't think it was Fate that caused this book to fall into your hands, and it reveals a Higher Purpose in the universe? Just checking."

Manny, do you think there might be something like Anti-Fate in the universe, like anti-matter? Anti-Fate pursuing the Lower Purpose of Everything, driving Fate and Higher Purpose mad all the time?

In that case, I think it might well be what happened to me. Anti-Fate approached me in the disguise of Mephisto while I was reading Faust, and whispered that I should read Coelho WITHOUT the sheep mode on. And this is the fallout! Fate is still working on the error...

Petra X wrote: "In the shop I find the same people who raved over The Secret also love Coehlo."

I am a bit jealous of running a bookshop, I have to admit. What a great way to compare reading preferences.

Florencia wrote: "After reading The Alchemist, his work is definitely a no-go area for me! No second chances, oh no..."

You are wise woman, Florencia!I Sometimes fear I find masochistic pleasure in completely rotten books, reading on and on just to figure out HOW bad it can get...

I didn't exactly hate it, but it is in many ways a failed novel and I'm happy I'm not the only one that thinks so:)...sometimes we just have back luck with books.

I wasted my teenage life reading his novels! Thanks for not letting me feel alone lol! I despise the novels and he strikes me as a well.. slow person, to put it nicely! The plot doesn't move, nothing moves except the book from my shelf to the trash!

Eliane wrote: "I wasted my teenage life reading his novels! Thanks for not letting me feel alone lol! I despise the novels and he strikes me as a well.. slow person, to put it nicely! The plot doesn't move, nothi..."

I think you are being very nice, and he is being very ... slow :-)

Ivana wrote: "I didn't exactly hate it, but it is in many ways a failed novel and I'm happy I'm not the only one that thinks so:)...sometimes we just have back luck with books."

Yep! The universe conspires to put bad books into our hands :-)

Lisa wrote: "Ivana wrote: "I didn't exactly hate it, but it is in many ways a failed novel and I'm happy I'm not the only one that thinks so:)...sometimes we just have back luck with books."

Yep! The universe ..."

but I must admit that there were many moments in my life when a certain book would arrive in just a right time for me....it would literally pick me up and make me see everything in a new light, make me feel so much better...but I guess for that to keep happening, to find our ideal books, to get our fairy-tale ending, we must kiss a lot of frogs:)

Love your review, Lisa, and all the comments. I will definitely stay away from this guy!

Helen wrote: "Love your review, Lisa, and all the comments. I will definitely stay away from this guy!"

Very good choice, Helen!!