mark monday's Reviews > The Terror

The Terror by Dan Simmons
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
131922
To: Mr. Dan Simmons
From: Associated Publishing Industries Unlimited, Ltd.
Subject: Your Recent Submission The Terror

Thank you for your recent submission. Unfortunately, at this time, we do not see a fit between your product and our company's goals.

Although our senior staff appreciated your technical ability, we noted several serious issues with your submission that need to be resolved prior to your product finding placement. These include, but are not limited to:

1. Extensive and Excessive Length. A common error made by both the reading public and the writing community is that the modern novel must exceed 700 plus pages. The success of the Harry Potter series has only contributed to this misunderstanding. What many fail to understand is that this is simply the result of spacing and font size; the truth of the matter is that novels like those written by Ms. Rowling are no larger than any given novel by Beatrix Potter. Despite the fixation on what are basically large-print serials, our focus groups more frequently maintain that "The Shorter, The Better" - particularly given their short attention spans and addiction to pop culture media e.g. Us Magazine, Jersey Shore, Charlie Sheen, and the like.

2. Lack of Genre. Your product appears to include traits from the Historical Novel, the Horror Novel (specifically its subset, the Monster Novel), and the Metaphysical Odyssey. Associated Publishing Industries Unlimited, Ltd. products must strictly adhere to our "One Novel, One Genre" company philosophy. The general reading public is a busy public, and have no time for the perplexing muddiness of genre mixing-and-matching.

3. (a) Lack of Traditional Romance;
(b) Negative AND Positive Depictions of Homosexual Activity;
(c) Interracial Sexuality Not Resulting in Punishment and/or Death of Non-White Character by Novel's End.

Please understand that our editorial staff has no personal issues with any of the above-noted items (in fact, our marketing department actively supports the targeting of the lucrative Gay/Homosexual demographic within our Ghettoized Associated Publishing Industries Unlimited, Ltd. subset label). However, the presence of all three alternative lifestyle choices/options within a single novel - one intended for mainstream consumption - can only yield confused, 'buy-shy' reactions from our reading public.

4. (a) Lack of Resolution. Your novel does not have a solid ending. It only offers questions, not answers. Additionally, the "dreamlike tone" of the final pages were off-puttingly "poetic" "ambiguous" and "transcendent"... three adjectives that our focus groups vehemently reject when considering reading options. this Lack of Resolution would not necessarily be problematic if your submission was intended to be the first in a multi-novel saga; however it is quite clear from your ending that another issue is
(b) Lack of Potential for Sequel or Series.

5. Too Many Details. oh, and 6. Too Many Big Words.

We sincerely thank you for your time/effort.

Signed,

An Associated Publishing Industries Unlimited, Ltd. Representative
681 likes · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read The Terror.
Sign In »

Reading Progress

Finished Reading
October 20, 2011 – Shelved
October 20, 2011 – Shelved as: horror-modern
October 20, 2011 – Shelved as: into-the-past
January 26, 2012 – Shelved as: rain-man-reviews
October 21, 2013 – Shelved as: alpha-team
December 16, 2018 – Shelved as: these-fragile-lives
February 17, 2019 – Shelved as: mnemonic-devices

Comments Showing 1-50 of 137 (137 new)


Maciek LOL, Mark. Good one. I need to read this particular Simmons, since it came strongly recommended. I did read Carrion Comfort, which was supposed to be about supernatural beings but a large part of it was gun shooting and black helicopters gunning everyone down.


Kemper Nice!


mark monday thanks guys!

i thought Carrion Comfort was okay. i wanted more and less of different things. but it had a lot of great parts.


Becky I have both Carrion Comfort and The Terror to read... I'm thinking that I will read The Terror soon, or TRY to anyway. LOL


Kaethe Fabulous. Oh, I love The Terror, y'all should start reading it immediately. And dress warm.


Tammy Nice review.


mark monday thanks Tammy

looking forward to your review Becky!


message 8: by Kay (new)

Kay Nice review! I just purchased my first Simmons novel... Hyperion. Your review only makes me look forward to reading it more.


Brad Most excellent, mark. Wish I'd thought of it.


message 10: by Richard (new)

Richard Love the Harry/Beatrix Potter comparison. Also love the name of your "(un)limited" publishing company.


message 11: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday To: Brad
From: mark monday
Subject: The Terror

dude don't wish that. your review is far more original. i love it.

for anyone who is reading this thread, here is Brad's review to enjoy:

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...


message 12: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday thanks Richard!


message 13: by Shovelmonkey1 (new)

Shovelmonkey1 Very good Mark, as always ;)


message 14: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday thanks SM! you should read this one


message 15: by Shovelmonkey1 (new)

Shovelmonkey1 I have Drood on my theoretical shelf (ie theoretically i will buy and read this at some point) but I have never read anything by this author before so where to start? Drood or this one?


message 16: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday i haven't read Drood so, sadly, i really can't say.

the other Simmons i've read have been Carrion Comfort (enjoyable but shallow), Hyperion (a classic of the genre - Canterbury Tales on a faraway planet!), Fall of Hyperion (straightforward space opera), Summer of Night (which i've totally forgotten about - not a good sign).


message 17: by Richard (last edited Oct 23, 2011 02:47PM) (new)

Richard I started Drood because it uses Charles Dickens (an author I know well) and some concepts from his last and unfinished novel, The Mystery of Edwin Drood. However the Simmons novel gets very strange very fast. Reviews of it are extremely mixed. So I've put it on hold for now, although I may try it sometime in the future.


message 18: by Shovelmonkey1 (new)

Shovelmonkey1 Thanks Richard. I haven't got round to acquiring a copy of either yet but it is always good to know!


message 19: by Nancy (new)

Nancy mark wrote: "To: Brad
From: mark monday
Subject: The Terror

dude don't wish that. your review is far more original. i love it.

for anyone who is reading this thread, here is Brad's review to enjoy:

..."


I think both your reviews are awesome!


message 20: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday thanks Nancy!


message 21: by Joel (new) - added it

Joel well that was fun. i bought this forever ago and it is always near the top of the pile. but the pile is very, very big.

i meant to read it before christmas but then i spent november on nanowrimo. maybe december will go better.


message 22: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday read it, Joel, read it! i want to see your review.


message 23: by Jean-marcel (new)

Jean-marcel Aha, so then..it's good! I've been looking for another stand-alone Simmons novel to read; I don't really think I have it in me to do Hyperion and its sequels, especially as basically everybody says the books get worse and worse as they go on.


message 24: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday it's not just good... it is fantastic. one of my favorite horror novels. read it!

but only read it if you like historical novels with a lot of detail. this is not a punchy novel; it is an immersive experience.


message 25: by Jean-marcel (new)

Jean-marcel mark wrote: "it's not just good... it is fantastic. one of my favorite horror novels. read it!

but only read it if you like historical novels with a lot of detail. this is not a punchy novel; it is an immersiv..."



I will!


I like Umberto Eco, so historical novels with a lot of detail...well, that sounds pretty good to me.


message 26: by Gary (last edited Jun 22, 2012 01:06PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Gary I really liked DROOD a lot....perfect time to read it with the anniversary of Dickens birth, 200 years ago. I thought it was a fun, sci fi type story,and have recommended it to everyone that will listen. Those that have taken the plunge,and read it tell me they really liked it too.

I have The Terror on my shelf ready to be cracked,and I will crack it.

The reasons listed by the book company NOT to publish it....none of those reasons surprised me at all. This is the signs of what most people in society do not want....... however, at least there are few of us out there, that are intelligent enough to "get it",and do enjoy a book that is lengthy,and actually challenges you when you read them... Thank God for Dan Simmons to keep looking for a good publishing house to publish his works. And thank God for those out there to read them,and obviously there are some out there, or he wouldn't have sold one copy, eh??


message 27: by Joel (new) - added it

Joel WOOSH!


Jeffery Moulton Thanks for the review. I'm going to have to give this one a try.


message 29: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday do!


message 30: by Joel (new) - added it

Joel fine summer reading! brrr.


Michael Fierce F'n brilliant review!


message 32: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday thanks Michael!


Luci Ann Keenagh so, you didnt like it then...?


message 34: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday no, the review is a joke review. i loved this book and it is one of my favorite horror novels. everything that is critiqued in this review are actually things i appreciate about The Terror.


Luci Ann Keenagh I realised that afterwards! Duhh! Yes, its a fantastic book, just finished it today. Deffo a read again book =)


Keira Wonderful review! It's such a complex story and written so well.


Beyond Birthday "c) Interracial Sexuality Not Resulting in Punishment and/or Death of Non-White Character by Novel's End.

Please understand that our editorial staff has no personal issue with any of the above-noted items (in fact, our marketing department actively supports the targeting of the lucrative Gay/Homosexual demographic within our Ghettoized Associated Publishing Industries Unlimited, Ltd."


I think I just peed on myself a little.
This is one of the best reviews I've read on GR. I know people tend to say that a lot, but this review is so, so awesome I want to date it.


message 38: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday I hope you've cleaned up or at least dried off... and thank you very much, Tsunami! quite flattering. cheers!


Zachary It's both incredibly funny and remarkably sad. I feel as though, especially these days, your review is far less satire than it is an accurate depiction of the "book-reading" community's collective state of mind.


message 40: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday glad you enjoyed it, Zachary.

hopefully only a portion of the book-reading community!


Jeff Ha! Excellent review, mark!


message 42: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday thanks! although I must admit that I stole the concept from our overlord, Kemper. please keep me safe and don't tell him.


Jeff I believe he's preoccupied plotting the demise of wife #6, so no worries for you.


message 44: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday whew!


message 45: by Ivonne (new)

Ivonne Rovira Oh. My. God. Could this review have been more inspired?


message 46: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday 'tis Kemper-inspired! he inspires us all! we cringe and mewl before his mighty keyboard!


message 47: by Trudi (new)

Trudi mark wrote: "'tis Kemper-inspired! he inspires us all! we cringe and mewl before his mighty keyboard!"

Heaven help us all.


message 48: by Tony (new) - rated it 4 stars

Tony Vacation mark wrote: "'tis Kemper-inspired! he inspires us all! we cringe and mewl before his mighty keyboard!"

Is that what we do? Huh.


message 49: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday YES THAT IS WHAT WE DO


message 50: by Gregsamsa (new)

Gregsamsa This contained well more than the daily recommended dose of funniness! I wish there were, however, more breaking of the "one book, one genre" rule, but they'd likely be crappy. It's just that I love the idea of stuff like, say, a Tennessee Williams melodrama set in outer space, or an introspective I-have-a-terminal-illness book set against the backdrop of a giant bug invasion.


« previous 1 3
back to top