Amy's Reviews > Love and Other Words

Annnd looking at all the other reviews, no one else has seems to have an issue with this "twist" other than considering it cheating. We really need a larger discussion about consent, especially when it comes to romance novels. Sigh.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit I didn't think of that either. But I totally get the not communicating is annoying part. It just doesn't seem logical to me. I would be more convinced if she went and knocked down his door, accusing him of being responsible for her father's accident. That would be childish and wrong, but I think that's more believable than shutting down for more than a decade.

This is why I'm wary of romance stories that start with or deal with drunken hookups and it's clear the woman was blackout drunk. It's a common trope or plot device but when she can't remember hooking up with the guy the night before and it's supposed to be funny or cute? I just can't get past that it was sexual assault.

It's a larger problem but especially overlooked when it comes to men. I'm not saying we ignore the gender power dynamics when it comes to rape/sexual assault, but to me it's obvious that Elliott did not consent to sex with Emma. He passed out drunk in a bed, and she came to him and took off his pants and had sex with his incapacitated body. His body obviously responded but that's not indicative of consent. I think we would rightfully presume that it would be rape if it were a woman in his position. So I'm just extremely disappointed the authors described it as cheating and neither characters remotely acknowledge it as assault/violation.

Other than that, yeah, Macey going radio silence on him for a decade after and Elliott (and no one in his family either) not knowing at ALL what happened to her dad is implausible. A wreck like that in the general area would have been newsworthy. And I feel like doing a search of her name would have turned up an obituary or something. If she went to therapy for her dad's death, which it sounds like her aunt and uncle made her do, I just feel like a therapist would have encouraged her to deal with the Elliott situation as part of her grief over her dad's death because, yeah, she clearly blamed him. Closure would have at least been something the therapist recommended, I'm sure. I don't know, a LOT of suspension of disbelief is required here lol /rant

Amy wrote: "This is why I'm wary of romance stories that start with or deal with drunken hookups and it's clear the woman was blackout drunk. It's a common trope or plot device but when she can't remember hook..."

Yes, for all of that to not to happen, there has to be some higher power at play. Lol. This is why I don't enjoy contemporary romance novels all that much. I don't know how you do it. You notice a ton a problematic stuff, but you still read a lot contemporary romance. I just can't do it.

I get in phases where I want to read contemporary romance but there are SO few of them that I actually REALLY like, it's sad lol They're just mostly meh! I don't even feel like I have a reliable go-to author for that genre either.

Agreed. (And, FWIW, I really like these authors and think they generally do a great job with consent.) My first thought about what happened with Elliot was that he was raped. But it seems the girl he slept with also passed out, so I’m not sure she really raped him (she might have been as incapacitated as he) especially as he confessed to being really into it and encouraging her both verbally and physically. If it’s cheating, it needed more significance than he gave it. If it’s rape, it needs way more significance than the book gave it. Either way I have a very hard time seeing sex as a “mistake.” Also, all these characters should be tested for STIs.

And Elliot running off and refusing to talk immediately after sex in the present day was also a bigger problem for me than it seemed to be for anyone in the book. A LOT (way too much) was excused/swept quickly under the rug because the reader is supposed to see Elliot and Macey as soul-mates/meant-to-be. That’s unfortunately far too common in fiction.

I just finished the book and had the same reaction as you. I really wish this had been addressed in the book in even a small way.

THANK YOU. I really liked this book, but was super put off by how black-and-white the fact that he was raped was, and no one ever acknowledges that. Just calling it a drunken mistake, and what "he" did, etc. Super messed up. I had to really look to find a review that mentioned that he was freakin' raped! How can people not be concerned that some girl had sex with a guy who was completely passed out???

THANK YOU!! I felt like I was losing my mind when no one else pointed out the ASSAULT that took place.

These type of "oversights" or misrepresentations will make me skip a book. Thanks for the honest review.

Great review, I think you hit all the problems I had with this book on the head.

So glad I'm not the only one who takes issue with this book.
I also found the authors, cold, brash view of drug addiction (Pheobes mother), super problematic.
The whole situation was explained in 2 sentences, ending with 'she chose drugs over her family'. I know Ashley wasn't a main character so we were never going to get her entire history and physcology but addiction is sooo much more complex and nuaced then that.

Overall, a really problematic book.

One of the triggers mentioned by a reviewer is cheating. I haven't read the book yet and honestly, want to be sure in terms of what I am signing up for.
Is there cheating involved in some regard? Or its just a reviewer, like many others, referring to this rape scene as cheating?

THANK YOU

YES THANK YOU

Completely agree with you.

100 % agree with you .. it’s a “meh” for me

I'm late, but I agree 100%

THANK YOU!!!! Omfg

YES I loved the book but 100% was like wait was Elliot just raped??? I thought I was going crazy until I came here!

I came to the reviews looking for someone to bring this up. It’s like the authors are definitely in the camp of “men can’t be SA’d” and it gave me an icky feeling.

THANK YOU! the rape is so hard for me to get past especially because it is treated as him cheating and betraying her.

I’m so glad I’m not alone in this view point. Him being raped was so glossed over.

YES

Completely agree!! Definitely overhyped!!

100% agree and felt the same way. I hate that it was never addressed.

Totally agree with you! The horrible part is that I even register he had been raped until you said it.

Oh my gosh, I agree with every. point. made. My review says practically the same thing but not as well written (lol). I felt the same way!!! First the overall disgustingness of the "big reveal", the language used, etc. But then the way everything was wrapped up so quickly!! I wanted a few more chapters, an epilogue, SOMETHING. I still can't wrap my mind around why this thing just ended so quickly when there was so much to unpack. And I think it could have been written beautifully, poignantly, with so much forgiveness and healing between the two of them had they fleshed it out and stopped referring it to "his mistake" and "his cheating". I'm still in disbelief about it and I finished the book days ago!

Idk…. He seemed to remember him proposing to her and her saying she’s not coming. So why would he think it’s his gf? Idk just trying to figure it out

Yessss!

I’m glad you pointed this out! Overall, I loved the book but yeah this didn’t sit right with me either!

This was the one thing that bothered me w this book!! Described rape but didn’t use the word ???

felt exactly the same.

Ok thanks for this I’m only 50% thru and not loving it. I realize I literally came to good reads for understanding why. But this seals my decision for dnf. Like I’m fine with that.

Spoiler alert?

Chrissy wrote: "Spoiler alert?"

It's behind a spoiler tag...

100% this