haletostilinski's Reviews > Rent: Paid in Full

⭐︎ 4.25 Stars Rounded Down ⭐︎

Okay first, there are several things to address:

⚫️ It pretty much says in the summary itself, if the title didn't say it already, that Miller literally pays Ryan for sex. That Miller keeps trying to straight up give Ryan money for nothing, just to help out, but Ryan refuses. It's pretty clear what Miller asks Ryan to do to "earn" it. So...to act shocked that Ryan is in pretty dire straights, financially, and that he ends up accepting Miller's offers to pay him for sex, is...wild to me.

Also, yes, sex work can, a lot of the time, be something someone does out of desperation. That does not mean the person paying for sex from them is always taking advantage of them or makes the person non-consenting.

I get that Miller knows Ryan is in this situation, and one might think he's taking advantage, but he never forces himself on Ryan, no matter how desperate he gets - and he does get desperate and pleading, no doubt about it. And pushy, sure. I will concede that point. But still, even then, Ryan is always consenting.

Also, Miller says a few times throughout that money or no money, Ryan can say no. He reassures him of that a time or two. Miller may be pushy at times and so desperate for Ryan that he's willing to pay him, but he makes it clear he won't cross any boundaries set by Ryan himself, even if that is a clear no.

So to see some reviews claiming otherwise is interesting to me. I mean, I can see how, on the surface, it might seem icky, like Miller is just taking advantage of Ryan's situation for sexual favors. But if you actually read the story, it's so much more than that for Miller. And he would stop if he was told to stop.

Ryan, no matter how dire his money situation is, doesn't have to say yes. He went years before without getting paid for sex, and he could have continued on without it too, even if things would be hard. But Ryan had been living with his financial situation being hard for years already. And if he really wanted to, he could have asked his parents for money, even if it would have hurt them financially too.

So, in conclusion, yeah, some may see their situation as some form of fucked up, but I didn't. And it helped being in Ryan's head and knowing he wanted Miller so desperately too, but it was just hard for him to admit it to himself. He even has a thought about how Miller paying him makes it easier, almost, because then he can continue to pretend not to want him, because if he had sex with Miller without money...there'd be no going back.

⚫️ I will concede the first time Ryan gives Miller a blow job is dubious consent. He went and had a few tequilas, although we don't know exactly how many, and we don't know how long it's been since he drank, when he starts giving Miller the blowjob. And I'd say Miller didn't know, and I think he doesn't at first, but I think afterward he has a thought that he could smell tequila on Ryan's breath. Soooo, dubious consent it is. And that is the one time I do side-eye Miller, if he was able to smell tequila on Ryan's breath.

⚫️ I saw it said that Ryan thinks he's straight and so it's coercion for Miller to try to "pressure" him into sex and I have to laugh. Because not only do we get an explicit thought from Ryan that he's bisexual, but "straight" men have sex with men all the time. And I've read many a scene in these romance novels where the guy is like "I'm not gay" and then proceeds to have sex with a guy and I have never seen something said like that about it. Someone's own perceived sexuality doesn't take away their ability to consent lol.

⚫️ I also was confused, because I saw it said that Ryan doesn't show much back and that he's barely showing any feelings even near the end, and that is not what I got from him at all. So if you see others saying that, I would ignore that. Because while Ryan is much more level headed than Miller, and is in great denial for a long time, his feelings for Miller are practically bursting out of him by the end.

One of my only real grievances with this book was being in agreement with others that there wasn't as much romance as there could have been.

Now, I think there was more than others have said. Is this primarily sex? Hell yes. But you can have a lot of sex and still be romantic. This was more an erotic romance, in my opinion. Heavily focused on sex, but still romantic too.

But I do wish there'd been more of a balance, as the scenes where they just...talked and did non-sexual things wasn't as much as I'd have liked. I did very much enjoy what was there, but I just needed more.

But this being more reliant on the sex overall doesn't take away from the romance that is there. Especially on Miller's end. He falls pretty hard and fast. It's Ryan whose the hold out for some time, and is much more subtle.

But I do wish a lot of sex wasn't looked at as not romantic. Can it be not romantic? Of course. People can have purely sexual relationships. But that's not what this was, not in the least.

Miller doesn't just want Ryan's body, he just wants Ryan. He's obsessed with Ryan, not how he looks. He's greatly attracted to him, but a big portion of that is about who Ryan is, and who Ryan is makes Ryan all the more sexy to Miller.

Ryan might just see how pretty and gorgeous Miller is at first, because he hates him, but pretty soon into their arrangement, we can see him thawing towards Miller and having to actively make himself mad and angry at Miller. It goes from "I hate you" to "I want to hate you but I can't" with Ryan. He's just very scared of letting himself be vulnerable with anyone, especially someone like Miller - we learn why later on in this - and he's very, very stubborn about it all.

I do wish Miller had reacted more upset and called Ryan out at some of things he said to him, but I didn't mind too much in the end. But Miller was very unbothered by a lot of what Ryan said and actually loved how mean to him he was at times. I guess Miller was bored with everyone being 'yes' men to him, and Ryan was anything but that with him.

You really see Ryan soften over the course of this book, but still try to push himself into denial. And he does a good job of that denial until the end, but he doesn't fool me in the least. His "of course I hate Miller" type thoughts are very much a "one doth protest too much, methinks" of him.

I tagged bdsm-lite for this book because there's this one roleplay type scene where Ryan asks Miller to "bully" him and there is spanking involved. But it isn't something they regularly do, so it's not a full bdsm type relationship they have. I did enjoy that scene, though, as it was, in a way, Ryan taking back the control all his previous bully's took from him, in a safe space with Miller. Who, lbr, he was trusting a lot by that point. Especially to trust him with that.

So, overall, I really enjoyed this. Could have had a better sex/romance balance, and I do wish maybe Ryan had been honest with himself a little sooner, but overall this was so enjoyable, and I really enjoyed Miller and Ryan together. Also Miller being absolutely obsessed with Ryan was *chefs kiss* so hot. There was only one person for Miller pretty soon into this.

I do recommend this. And taking in all I said about potential controversies with this book, if you still feel like this is the book for you, I definitely say go for it. And while sex wasn't the only part of this book...it was heavily present and boy was it hot. It was very well done and the chemistry was very very good. Also if any of what I talked about above makes you uncomfortable or what have you, then this isn't the book for you. But if it is, go for it!

Also I can't wait for Miller's dad and his assistant, Wyn. Some age gap, boss/employee dynamic? Yes please!

Can't wait! 😍