Leigh Kramer's Reviews > How You Get the Girl

My new favorite Anita Kelly. I savored this contemporary romance, not wanting it to end. It almost feels too personal to review; it made me cry almost every time I picked it up because of the relatability. But it also had so many delightful moments. First and foremost: we don’t get the “dating lessons” trope nearly often enough!

High school basketball coach Julie can’t believe her eyes when her long-time crush-from-afar walks into the gym. Elle is a foster parent for her cousin’s daughter Vanessa who has newly joined the team and a former WNBA player. Julie eventually ropes Elle into becoming her assistant coach. They start spending more time together and when Julie confesses she’s never dated or been sure she wanted to, Elle suggests they give dating lessons a try.

This had such a gentle approach to Julie figuring out her sexuality. She’s on the asexual-spectrum, possibly demisexual but possibly something else. I liked that this leaves things open-ended. Labels can be very helpful to people but they’re not necessary for everyone. What does become clear is that she has feelings for Elle and those feelings are worth exploring. It was lovely to watch play out and to see Elle accept Julie as she is regardless of inexperience and uncertainty. Julie is Julie and she’s enough.

This centers the role and importance of friendship when you’re single. It delves into the ways Julie’s friendships have changed and are changing with Ben moving away and how she’s no one’s first phone call anymore. Or when a loved one doesn’t share important news with you at all and you realize you’re not as important to them as you think. Julie is happy that her loved ones have found partners but she also feels left out. Friendship/found family is even more important when you don’t have a partner and this really gets at the uncertainty of these changes. I felt all of this so deeply.

While I primarily related to Julie, Elle’s storyline also got me because of the depiction of her depression. Mine manifests differently but there are some similarities. Mostly what I loved about it was the way Julie took care of her without Elle even asking, sometimes in spite of Elle’s protests. It was a great example of partnership and coming alongside someone during their darkest hours and loving them through it.

And then there’s the actual romance. Julie and Elle were so dang good together! Elle’s patience, Julie’s curiosity and open-heartedness. They’re great coaches and foster parents (OK Julie isn’t an official foster parent but she’s very involved with Vanessa’s care). And they have fantastic chemistry. Getting to watch Julie experience everything for the first time was such a treat. Also loved the Julie's cat Snoozles, the Nashville setting, as I lived there for five years, and all the secondary characters living out their HEAs. This book is going to have a special place in my heart for a long, long time.


Characters: Julie is a 28 year old white HS basketball coach and Vanderbilt alumni relations administrative assistant. She’s on the asexual spectrum, possibly demisexual, but hasn’t landed on a label. She has a cat named Snoozles. Elle is a 32 year old lesbian white Vanderbilt medical billing clerk and ex-WNBA player. She’s the temporary foster parent for her cousin Karly’s teen daughter Vanessa. This is set in Nashville.

Content notes: depression, Elle is a foster parent for cousin’s teen daughter, cousin in rehab for substance abuse, child neglect (teen secondary character), chronic migraines, Elle’s mom has fibromyalgia, top surgery (secondary character), sick cat and emergency vet visit (recovers), acknowledgment of homophobic and transphobic politics and legislation in TN, gender binary in sports and assumption the players are all girls, suspected infidelity (Elle’s ex-girlfriend), past career-ending injury (ACL), family planning discussion (fostering queer teens someday), Elle isn’t drinking alcohol while she’s a foster parent, past death of grandparents, Elle never knew her father, on page sex, alcohol (epilogue), inebriation (secondary characters), ageist jokes, diet culture, gendered pejoratives, ableist language, mention of former assistant coach being treated for ovarian cancer, mention of past player who dealt with disordered eating


Disclosure: I’m friendly with the author online, who provided this ARC.