Jung's Reviews > Holding It Together: How Women Became America's Safety Net

In "Holding It Together: How Women Became America's Safety Net," Jessica Calarco delves into the harrowing reality faced by millions of women in the United States. Through powerful stories and a critical examination of systemic issues, she highlights the exhausting cycles that trap women in roles that demand them to balance work, family, and financial strain with little to no support from society. Despite living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, these women find themselves struggling to make ends meet, burdened by insufficient pay, and mounting debt. The book raises a vital question: why are so many women in the U.S. facing such overwhelming challenges in a nation that boasts immense wealth?

Calarco’s research unveils a grim picture of the lack of a societal safety net in America. Women like Akari, a single mother of two, work multiple jobs, clocking in over 50 hours a week yet still falling short of a living wage. Akari’s story is a microcosm of the broader issue: despite their relentless efforts, women are forced to shoulder the weight of economic insecurity, debt, and the guilt of not being present for their children. The U.S. has failed to invest in essential services like childcare and positive social policies, leaving women to bear the brunt of the country's economic shortcomings. The stagnation of the federal minimum wage and the erosion of workers' rights further exacerbate the situation, leading to a society where women are the invisible glue holding everything together, despite the overwhelming unfairness and unsustainability of this reality.

From an early age, girls in the U.S. are conditioned to see themselves as caregivers, often leading them into roles that society deems natural for them. The high rates of unplanned pregnancies and the lack of access to reproductive health services, worsened by the tightening of abortion rights, push many women into motherhood, whether they desire it or not. For instance, Brooke, a woman raised in a conservative Christian family, found herself pregnant in college and felt compelled to keep the baby due to societal and familial pressures. She dropped out of school and took on low-paying jobs to support herself and her child, sacrificing her personal aspirations in the process. Similarly, Sylvia took on the responsibility of caring for her nieces and nephews when her brother's girlfriend struggled with postpartum issues and addiction, a role that forced her to abandon her college plans and remain in a low-income job she despised.

These stories underscore how women are often trapped in caregiving roles, with little to no support from society. When they struggle, they are often blamed for their circumstances, as if their personal choices alone are responsible for their hardships. Even those who make the "right" choices, such as pursuing higher education or marrying, are not guaranteed security, as they often end up in precarious, low-paying jobs with significant debt. The promise of stability through education and marriage is increasingly unreliable, yet society continues to place the burden of failure on individuals rather than addressing the systemic issues at play.

Calarco explores the deeply ingrained belief in meritocracy in American society—the idea that hard work and personal effort will inevitably lead to success. This belief, rooted in centuries-old philosophies like those of Benjamin Franklin and later the New Thought Movement, perpetuates the notion that individuals are solely responsible for their circumstances. Even those who are struggling financially may resist government assistance, convinced that they should be able to succeed on their own. This mindset is reinforced by self-help philosophies that suggest personal happiness and success are entirely within one's control. As a result, society harshly judges those who fail to thrive, particularly low-income women, while the wealthy continue to benefit from the status quo.

The COVID-19 pandemic briefly offered a glimpse of what a social safety net could look like in the U.S. Government intervention during the crisis provided temporary relief to struggling families, extending their resilience and helping them maintain their standard of living for a longer period. However, once the immediate crisis subsided, the government quickly rolled back these relief efforts, leaving many families to fend for themselves once again. The reluctance to establish a permanent safety net is rooted in political resistance and the influence of wealthy individuals and corporations who benefit from maintaining the current system. Without a collective will to create meaningful change, the rich remain rich while the poor continue to suffer, with women disproportionately bearing the burden.

Calarco argues that real change must come from collective action rather than individual efforts. She proposes the formation of "unions of care," large-scale unions that connect care workers—both paid and unpaid—and the recipients of care. These unions would foster a sense of collective responsibility and push for systemic change, elevating the societal value of care work. By shifting the focus from individual achievement to the collective value of care, society could begin to recognize and fairly compensate the contributions of those who provide care for others. This shift would benefit everyone, as a society that values and supports care work is stronger and more equitable.

Ultimately, "Holding It Together" calls for a societal reckoning with the reality that women in the U.S. are struggling under an immense burden with little support. The myth of meritocracy has perpetuated a system that leaves women to navigate motherhood, multiple jobs, and caregiving roles with minimal help. To create lasting change, society must acknowledge our interconnectedness and work together to build a safety net that values care and supports those who provide it. By doing so, we can create a fairer, more just society that benefits everyone, not just the wealthy few.