The Last Emperox Quotes

“As far as Kiva could tell, whenever selfish humans encountered a wrenching, life-altering crisis, they embarked on a journey of five distinct stages: Denial. Denial. Denial. Fucking Denial. Oh shit everything is terrible grab what you can and run.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“It’s the end of civilization as we know it. And it’s going to be great for business.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Do you know what I plan to do with my body once I am dead?” “I do not, Countess.” “Neither do I. I’ll be dead and I won’t give a shit.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Lies do not in themselves lead to poor outcomes, nor does truth in every circumstance lead to good ones. As with so many things, context matters.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Most others who were thinking ahead at all simply planned to stockpile certain foods. How much? A month, six months, a year, depending on available space and personal pessimism. Most of those thinking about stockpiling still had in their brains the idea that the crisis was likely to be a temporary one, and that somewhere along the way someone would figure out how to keep billions from starving to death in the habitats that would increasingly fall to entropy. To think otherwise would raise the question of why bother to stockpile at all.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“For all that, the higher Kiva ascended the steps of power, the more she realized that her policy of selfishness had, shall we say, certain limits. Perhaps”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“I don’t think I like you,” she said. “This has been a recurring theme in my life,”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“But we get to live as long as we’re useful. And that is a rare privilege.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“To the women who are done with other people’s shit”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Cutting the power was necessary to reboot security and other systems, they said. Power will resume momentarily. Be ready to move when it does. Enjoy this music until then! The tablet began playing soothing instrumental versions of modern popular hits. Kiva didn’t know whether to shit or hum along.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Mathematics were not the usual dream material for Marce. Most of his dreams, historically speaking, were the standard rehashing of the events of the last few days in an inchoate, plotless manner, with or without pants.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“so if you live in the United States, and you are reading this prior to November 2020, please do me a favor and (a) Register to vote, or check to make sure your registration is still valid, (b) Remember to vote on election day (or before if you take an early ballot) and (c) Try not to vote for anyone who is a whirling amoral vortex of chaos.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Traitorous, murdering garbage, from your fucking glitterdumpster of a mother on down.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“She thought it was pretty much the only way to be in a universe that didn’t care about anyone’s life one way or another, and in a civilization that was designed to keep the rich as rich as possible and the poor from actively starving so they wouldn’t think to rise up and behead the rich.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“While the elite of the Interdependency were making their plans to abandon the common people to their fate, the common people of the Interdependency were beginning to come to grips with what, exactly, that fate actually was.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“I would really like to return to halcyon days of pre-2016, when I actually did a reasonably good job of focusing and turning in books on a schedule that would not make production people hate me and burn me in effigy, so if you live in the United States, and you are reading this prior to November 2020, please do me a favor and (a) Register to vote, or check to make sure your registration is still valid, (b) Remember to vote on election day (or before if you take an early ballot) and (c) Try not to vote for anyone who is a whirling amoral vortex of chaos. I would really really really appreciate it, and you would also probably get more books from me.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“I understand you knew Nadashe Nohamapetan personally.” “I did,” Kiva said. “What did you think of her?” “She’s a raging jar of crotch sweat.” “Seems accurate.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“I strongly suggest not trying that attitude with the crew, either.” “Why? Because it would be mean?” “No, because they’ll break a butter knife off in your neck.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“All right, first question. Where the fuck am I?” The person Kiva Lagos addressed sat at a small desk in a small room and appeared amused. “I thought your first question might be who the fuck am I.” “All right, fine. Who the fuck are you?” “My name is Captain Robinette.” “Hello, Captain Robinette. Charmed. Where the fuck am I?”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Until then, get the fuck out of my office.” “I enjoy watching you work,” Fundapellonan said, after Heuvel got the fuck out of Kiva’s office.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Senia Fundapellonan was not wrong about Kiva; Kiva was extremely self-interested. Senia thought that was neither good nor bad, but Kiva was of a different mind about that. She thought it was pretty much the only way to be in a universe that didn’t care about anyone’s life one way or another, and in a civilization that was designed to keep the rich as rich as possible and the poor from actively starving so they wouldn’t think to rise up and behead the rich. An uncaring universe and a fundamentally static civilization would smother anyone who didn’t keep themselves and their own concerns front and center.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Try not to vote for anyone who is a whirling amoral vortex of chaos.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“But for the last couple of days Marce had been fighting a cold, which made his snoring both louder and more random. When it woke Cardenia up, Marce sounded like he was two cavemen having a very urgent conversation with each other about discovering fire, or hunting a feral hog, or something else along that line.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“A single line of code in the Xi’an habitat’s maintenance programming kept the cathedral from ever suddenly going oxygen-free—but that line of code had been recently expunged in a system update. For three months, then, nothing had kept human inefficiency from suddenly asphyxiating Archbishop Korbijn and hundreds of celebrants during morning services.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“They both came away from the meeting feeling like they had manipulated the other precisely, which meant it was a good meeting.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“It’s funny to me that when people fuck up, they think ‘it was just business’ is in any way a defense.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Sophistry can be heuristically generated.” “So millennia of college sophomores have taught us, yes.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Isn’t that the way science works? You present a hypothesis to your peers, you show them all your measurements and observations and data, and you ask them to make you a liar.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“The mattress on the bunk was two centimeters thick and apparently made out of particleboard and despair,”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox

“Even if it rewards a murderer and a traitor.”
― John Scalzi, The Last Emperox