Mild spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine to follow.
Deadpool & Wolverine has the lowest of stakes. Sure, there’s a big world-threatening plot, as you’d expect – something something human extinction, exposition exposition, here’s Emma Corrin as a bald, evil psychic – but no one is buying it.
You’re dealing with two heroes, played by Wrexham FC co-owner Ryan Reynolds and the discomfitingly shredded Hugh Jackman, who both died in their last outings. Across this film’s two-hour runtime, they are stabbed and shot repeatedly, they bleed and bleed and bleed, but heal immediately. And then, of course, we’re dealing with the concept of the multiverse – ever-present in the Marvel universe of late – that tells us: don’t worry! If they do somehow end up actually dying (they won’t), they’ll just go pluck another version from another timeline, as they’ve done with Wolverine here, and press the reset button.
And, look, it’s fine. It’s Deadpool! We’re mostly here for the jokes anyway. And that, they’ve got. There are loads. One about Furiosa. One about Hugh Jackman’s divorce (the biggest laugh of the film, sorry, Hugh). One about Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds’ wife. It’s probably the sharpest script of the trilogy so far. At its heart, it knows its a comedy first, superhero film second. They have to do the contrived plot stuff anyway, apparently, and regurgitate the same good versus evil clichés we’ve seen over and over again. The thing is, they've got a secret weapon to keep your heart rate up: celebrity cameos. Lots of 'em, breadcrumbed throughout (just like the marketing suggested there would be).
A little more on the plot, as a necessity: Deadpool is taken in by the timeline police (known as the TVA), who tell him that his version of reality is about to collapse because their iteration of Wolverine died (the events of 2017’s Logan). So, Deadpool goes about finding another Logan to help him save his world. At some point, they run into Corrin, who plays Professor Xavier’s (Patrick Stewart) evil twin, Cassandra, who threatens to foil their plan. It’s not quite the silliest MCU plot ever, but nearly two decades into this whole thing, it’s one of the least engaging. It’s phoned in, like the writers have realised that plot is no longer what audiences are turning up for. Case in point: the bulk of the movie is spent with the two heroes on a detour rather than their actual journey, because the actual journey can't quite justify the runtime.
But Deadpool is in the MCU now, as the film is at pains to tell you with dozens of meta asides. And with that comes an expectation of something (anything!) to drag us to the next film in the calendar. Here, there is no sign of the great, all-encompassing narrative arc that this film series has been sorely lacking since Tony Stark kicked it. Now, the only carrots Kevin Feige and co have to dangle are cameos.
As many suspected, the film has loads of them. There are quite a few – we won't spoil them here, don't worry – and they're up there with Spider-Man: No Way Home in terms of fan-service. They're fun. They'll likely have audiences barking at the screen. They'll likely be the sole talking point of the movie. So let's call it what it is: Deadpool & Wolverine & Mystery Box Celebrity. There is no end game in sight.
Deadpool and Wolverine is out in UK cinemas on Thursday 25th July.