How do you calm your nerves when speaking to strangers?

I had the opportunity to speak at an event about startups, which was a change from my usual audience of executives in career transition. To connect with this new audience, I decided to focus on sharing success formulas and brief roadmaps that had helped executives I worked with achieve their goals. The result was really great! Asides from receiving verbal recognition from investors and startup representatives in the audience, it also reinforced the importance of adapting your content to suit the specific needs and interests of your listeners. By understanding your audience and delivering relevant insights, you can make a lasting impact in your public speaking engagements.

Start with humility - share what is important to you and be open to learning from challenges and questions. Model vulnerability and collaboration - no one person has all the answers and expertise. What you bring has unique value and at the same time you can always grow.

I relax knowing that I will do my best to add value to the people I'm speaking to at the event. Not only during the session, but also before and after. When I stop focusing on myself, it makes it so much easier mentally.

Before speaking at an event, I try to answer two questions: What is the audience looking for from you as a speaker? What problems are they facing, and how can you help? Before I present at a conference, I always try to introduce myself to a few audience members. This is the opportunity for you to let them know that you will be speaking at the event and what you are talking about. Everyone I talk to before my session becomes excited about my topic and becomes a friendly face for me in the audience. Now, when it is time for you to give your talk, you aren’t just talking to a room full of strangers. Instead, you have a few new friends that want to see you do well.

For me, it helps to think that I really know what I’ll be talking, so I see it like I’m sharing knowledge with colleagues and helping them by creating awareness on specific topics. Think more on the contribution you’re making keeps away insecurities. It also helps to see myself as one of them and not as someone who needs to impress people.

To be honest, I recommend you consider how you can do with your hands or another tactic to help. I have found holding a pen can assist me at times. You’ll notice over time that some of our leaders that speak regularly also use different strategies and methods.

Before you ever do a public presentation, write a thorough outline of the points you want to cover. Then do it on zoom. Record it. Play it back and observe your self delivering it. Listen to your voice, words and gestures, the cadence, the tone, the inflection. Now you can see where you need to improve. Do this a few times and and shore up your weaknesses and build on your strengths. This will solidify your base knowledge of your material and delivery making you a polished speaker.

Michael Schwartz expressed the method I have used for many years. Before speaking for the first time on a subject in class, I made "talking points" of the new material, concentrated on an object in an unoccupied room and began speaking. Now I do the same thing on a video, observe what I do, then correct my distractions. Once I practice a few times, I can go into any college classroom, present the new subject and feel confident enough to answer questions. Worries about distractive behaviors can affect presentations. Once we deal with avoiding them, we tend to feel more confident.

Before speaking, I take several deep breathes and meditate. I mentally determine how I want to start depending on my audience and know internally that there is a reason that I am there and chosen to speak. I only speak on subjects that I am completely educated or have life experience on. Authenticity is key!

Indeed, practicing your speech with friends and colleagues and thereby collecting feedback is very important. Record a video and watch it yourself - to get impression about your talk, practice and improve.

While some folks indeed need to calm their nerves through quiet breathing and relaxing, it's not necessarily the perfect pre-talk routine for all. For others, getting energy literally flowing will help them take the stage more relaxed and "ready". I personally have a mini-dance party - sometimes for real, other times in my head with headphones in! - before every talk, workshop, panel, etc. My current go to is Sia's Unstoppable, as when I feel that song in my body, I truly feel like I can conquer anything. And dancing elevates our full wellbeing - physical, mental, emotional - so getting my body moving also is prep for nailing my words and connecting in a heartfelt with the audience. Highly recommend trying this; having a go to song helps.

Over time as you continue to prepare and deliver, your confidence grows. You will walk out on stage and be relaxed knowing that you know your material. If there are challenges to your presentation as often there are some in the audience who want to prove they are smarter than you, listen to their input and, if you don't know say" I don't know but I will find out and get back to you. Never be afraid to be honest in that type of situation, It too can build confidence.

Psychology tells us that taking three deep breaths helps signal the brain to go out of fight-or-flight mode. When the brain is in fight-or-flight mode, your body isn't under your full control. Flipping the switch (so to speak) allows you to regain full control of your body, promotes clearer thought processes, and keeps you centered and focused.

Focus on your purpose rather than your performance. When I spend too much time addressing mannerisms, voice, and other performance related attributes and fail to give adequate attention to my message, I am more nervous. When I focus on my purpose, I speak naturally, authentically, and passionately. I also appear more credible.

In the realm of public speaking, it's easy for our brain's amygdala to label it as a threat, causing unease. However, reframing our mindset can be a game changer. Whenever I'm about to address an audience, I ask myself: "Would I regret not sharing my message if today were my last day?" The answer? A resounding yes. This thought anchors me, reminding me of my purpose and the difference I can make. By ensuring my talk's main points align with its core goal and allowing pauses for reflection, I center my focus. This approach not only boosts my confidence but also ensures my audience leaves informed and inspired. Always remember: your message has the power to impact and transform lives. Stay rooted in that truth.

Before I gIve any speech, regardless of the location or topic, I always remind myself of the message. You know better than anyone what you prepared in your speech. The only things you should be concerned with as you speak are remaining authentic, centering your mind on the present, and projecting confidence. It's also helpful to consider that most, if not all, of your audience is excited for YOU. They are eager to hear your perspective, or at the very least, showed up with curiosity and an open mind. It's likely no one is there to tear you apart, they are there for your message.

Being clear on your own purpose for speaking at any specific event will help you to ensure your success. Part of this requires an openness to tailoring your message to each group. Early in my speaking career, I was one of two inspirational speakers at an offsite. I had customized much of my talk for what I knew were the CEO's goals for the offsite an the company culture. The other speaker had far more experience and, while I read many parts of my talk, she had hers memorized. That said, her talk was "off the shelf," and the attendees knew that. It didn't feel as relevant to their company or their challenges. And more than anything else, the audience wants to feel connected to YOU, your words, your presence there. Understanding that is key.

You are the speaker! People are there to learn from you. Don't doubt that for a second. Draw on your knowledge of your subject matter, which you should know by heart, if you have practiced delivering as it was suggested, by presenting to self first on zoom. Then allow your inner light and truth to come forward, and then present. Your personal power and quiet strength in your presentation will be felt by the attendees.

When possible, arrive early to connect with a few folks before your talk. That can help you feel more comfortable before taking the stage, plus you may learn something relevant and timely you can incorporate / reference in your talk. But even if that doesn't happen, you'll have some friendly allies in the audience. If you don't have that opportunity to arrive early, look for the nodders and smilers early on in your remarks. They're usually easy to spot and they are super helpful to use throughout as pulse checks as they are engaged from the outset. Flip side: don't worry about the folks on their phones or who are otherwise less engaged. It often has nothing to do w/ you as the speaker so while it's disappointing, try not to get distracted.

I totally agree with Sally Wolf. It is a great technique and relaxes you too. I always try to interject humor into my intro. As a "senior"I always refer to this of similar age as kids. It changes the energy of the moment.

It's important to understand your audience and how your behaviors, ticks, and subconscious verbal slips affect your performance and the level of interest and feedback you will receive from your audience. If you are preparing a speech, rehearse it out loud, in the mirror, and record yourself. Then watch that video back and critique yourself as best you can as an outsider looking in. Too many filler words? Awkward shifting on your feet? Maybe a little tap dancing going on you weren't aware of? Blank stares or pauses that linger a bit too long? All of this distracts your audience and diminishes your credibility. The good news is these are simple fixes and they can absolutely transform the power of your speech.

One thing I've found is the importance of authenticity. Be who you are, not who you think the audience thinks you should be. Never lie, because there's always someone in the audience who will know more than you, or know something you might not want them to know. If you try to be something you're not, or claim something that's not yours to claim, the audience will know.

Gratitude goes a long way. Be confident in your presentation, but never cocky. Find an authentic way to thank your audience or end with a call to action, inspire them to take initiative. You hopefully said enough - and said it well enough - to move hearts, spark critical thinking, or shift perspectives. Be proud of that accomplishment, but know it wasn't possible without someone there to listen.

I agree. It’s also good to ask a trusted person for feedback after giving a speech. However, we can also observe the audience non-verbal cues to understand whether our speech went over well or not.

I presented to the public for 24 years. Talk to people like they’re family-and listen like they’re family. Treat them with the care and respect of your parents. Don’t condescend or assume people can’t understand complex ideas or data. Use images and plain language to drive home overarching concepts. Establishing mutual respect early on matters.

Be confident! If you are speaking at an engagement that means someone believes your message already and they want you to share it !

Remind yourself that the audience is on your side and they want to see you succeed. Think of them as friends who share your interest in the topic and let that enthusiasm and ease show in your voice and body language.

Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” Have fun and get creative with it. Nobody is expected to know everything—you can build trust with your audience through transparency here. Ex: - “What an interesting thought. I’d like to look into that and get back to you.” - “A colleague looked into something similar recently. I’ll reach out and learn more about it. Can we connect on this later?” - “That’s such a great question. It hasn’t specifically come up in my practice or research, but it’s there anyone here who can speak to this?”

If I'm speaking to a large room, I imagine myself "borrowing" the energy of someone sitting in the audience. That's to say- they're sitting, thinking about their own day, calm and relaxed. I can share my information as though I'm sitting next to them, just discussing the subject at hand. It's a little unusual, but it works!