How do you grow as a mentor?

Establishing clear goals in a mentoring relationship is essential for focused and meaningful growth. For example, if the mentee wants to improve their public speaking skills, a clear goal could be to deliver a confident and engaging presentation within three months, with progress measured by evaluating their delivery, body language, and audience engagement. Setting expectations and boundaries ensures a mutual understanding of responsibilities and facilitates a productive mentoring journey.

You grow as a mentor by sharpening your skills and staying abreast with all knowledge needed for your expertise. This helps those who you are mentoring.

Being a mentor in my 2nd career is something that blossomed out of my 12 years of being a science educator. I spent every day in the classroom thinking about how each of my students had opportunities and what strategies I could use to help them develop their talents. Now in a completely different career, I've switched to informally and formally mentoring adults at my job (and through LinkedIn). Making a connection with them is key and part of that is understanding what their true goals are professionally. Mentors can also set goals for themselves - what experiences do I have that can be passed along, am I aware of any projects my mentee should become a part of, how did I get past the struggle of doing something new, for example.

💯 it starts with listening to yourself, as well as to others, and with lots of reading and introspection. One of the greatest tools, a mentor is not simply to listen, but also to encourage the mentee to “share more”. Sometimes it also helps to become the mentee themselves.

This goes without saying. There is no shortcut for this, you have no tool to replace this. You have to be a effective listener to be able to mentor anyone. For example, when a mentee expresses their frustrations in a work environment, an active listener would not only hear the words but also notice their body language and emotions.

The best mentors know how to ask the right questions. They teach you how to think for yourself and how to connect with your own inner knowledge. When my mentees ask me a question, my first question back to them is, “Before I answer, what is your gut instinct telling you?” This helps them to check in with themselves and critically think through the problem. Then, I share my experiences and perspective to help guide them from there.

While sharing your experience can be valuable, it is important to remember that mentoring is not about imposing your solutions on the mentee. Instead, it is about guiding them to discover their own path, encouraging independent thinking and decision-making, and respecting their unique perspectives and choices.

Mentoring is a powerful journey of growth, both for the mentor and the mentee. Challenges often arise when balancing guidance and autonomy, adapting to diverse learning styles, and fostering mutual trust. However, the benefits are immense: witnessing mentees achieve their goals, building lasting relationships, and gaining fresh perspectives that fuel our own growth. What challenges or benefits have shaped your mentoring experience? Let's discuss and learn from each other's insights!

While challenge and support are important aspects of mentoring, it is essential to recognize that every mentee has different needs and preferences. Some may thrive with a more challenging approach, while others may require more support and encouragement. A great mentor adapts their style to strike the right balance based on the individual mentee's circumstances and goals

To level up as a mentor, don't forget to seek feedback, even if it feels like getting roasted at a comedy roast. Accept the critiques and insights from your mentee and others, like a comedian analyzing their performance.

Shed any judgement and your generational bias. We are often mentoring people younger than ourselves. Be careful not to bring an age-bias to the mix. Recognize the demographic of your mentee, and what age they grew up in. As a boomer, I respect that the millennial experience is vastly different from my own - I raised a millennial and learned much from her. If there is a generation I am less familiar with, I ask lots of questions to gain perspective. Most importantly, never, ever judge.... you won't earn anyone's trust by imposing your own judgement and trust is fundamental in a successful mentoring relationship.

For those interested in being a mentor, it is important to ensure you have time to dedicate to your mentee and you are able to maintain the commitment along with your other responsibilities and priorities. We may have the best intentions to want to help others, yet it is critical to assess that we have the capacity to do so for a certain period of time. It is a good practice to spend time learning different coaching methods and techniques. Mentors can greatly benefit from adding skills and capabilities as a coach. For example, this may include learning the optimal questions to ask that spark reflection and introspection for the mentee. There are many great resources available to enhance one's knowledge on coaching.

During my nearly two decades of mentoring young people, I have discovered a crucial aspect that significantly contributes to fostering a sense of self-confidence in the mentee and strengthening the mentor-mentee relationship. It revolves around embracing and accepting vulnerability as an essential element for personal growth and learning from failure. Understanding that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but, in fact, a display of strength, is essential to fostering a sense of belonging in the work environment and building strong professional relationships. Embracing vulnerability allows individuals to be authentic and open, creating an atmosphere of trust and mutual support.