Your coachee is feeling threatened by your expertise. How can you address their resistance effectively?

To address a coachee who feels threatened by your expertise, start by fostering a collaborative environment where you’re both learning together. Reassure them that coaching is a partnership, not a hierarchy, and your role is to support, not judge. Encourage open dialogue about their concerns and validate their feelings. Highlight their strengths and show how your expertise can complement their unique skills. By building trust and focusing on their growth, you can reduce their resistance and create a more supportive and empowering coaching relationship.

To address your coachee's resistance due to feeling threatened by your expertise, it's essential to create an environment of psychological safety and emphasize collaboration rather than hierarchy. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that your role is to support their growth, not to judge or undermine their abilities. Encourage open dialogue, actively listen to their concerns, and highlight the value of their unique strengths and perspectives. By positioning yourself as a partner in their development, you can build trust and reduce their sense of threat, fostering a more productive coaching relationship.

When a coachee feels threatened by my expertise, the first thing I do is empathize with them. I take the time to understand their concerns and acknowledge their feelings. I let them know that it’s okay to feel uneasy and that my role isn’t to intimidate, but to support and guide them. By showing that I genuinely care about their experience and am there to help, I can build trust and create a more comfortable environment for them. This approach helps break down barriers and opens the door for more effective communication and collaboration as we work together to achieve their goals.

If something like this happens, take a moment to reflect on your behaviour, communication, and approach. Maybe your coachee is just easily threatened, or there's something about yourself that caused this. As a rule of thumb, coaching should be all about the coachee. If your client is intimidated or even threatened by your experience, there might have been too much focus on yourself as a coach. Further, try to nudge your coachee to shift their focus on their objective and specific situation - independet of who you are as a coach.

Look inwards first, there's a dynamic in which the coachee isn't feeling an equal in the partnership. You may need to visit the original agreement. Check as a coach that you haven't moved from coaching to telling, or mentoring without being explicit with the coachee. Explore with the coachee - how it is presenting to them, what they are seeing that is resulting in that reaction.

In my experience it is important to build rapport first. Understanding your coachee, building a chemistry with them, making them feel safe & assuring them of working together - all of these are really important to be able to have open and reflective conversations.

To address a coachee’s resistance, fostering collaboration is key. I make it clear that we’re a team, working together toward the same goal. I encourage them to share their ideas and participate actively in the coaching process. By involving them in decision-making and respecting their input, I help them feel more in control and valued. This collaborative approach shifts the dynamic from feeling like they’re being taught to feeling like they’re part of a partnership. It empowers them to take ownership of their progress, making the coaching experience more positive and productive.

Shift the dynamic from a top-down approach to a partnership. Emphasize that coaching is a collaborative process where both of you bring valuable insights to the table. This helps reduce feelings of inadequacy and promotes a more open exchange of ideas. Personal Experience: In a similar situation, I emphasized our work as a team effort. By encouraging more collaborative sessions where the coachee's input was vital, the resistance began to dissipate.

The role of a coach is to help someone maximize its potential so it should never be perceived as a threat but rather as an opportunity to grow. Over 20 years ago, I have developed a 5 steps coaching process: In the 1st step, at the beginning of the coaching session you have to explain the coaching rules: I won’t impose anything, I will ask you many questions to guide you through self-reflexion. If there is not a great deal of trust between you and the coachee you can add “what is being said here remains here”. Key rule in coaching: ask, don’t tell! If the relationship between you and the coachee is really bad, ask somebody else to coach this person (internally or externally).

This all goes back to trust and it's about helping your client see how you are there to support them, rather than compete. Talk to your client about what they need and want from the coaching relationship. It's often hard to name what you need, so ask powerful questions around what problem they are trying to solve of what they don't know but wish they did. Then, find ways that you can work on things together. It's important to reinforce how you can support your client and that you are both on the same side.

When a coachee feels resistant, highlighting their growth can be a powerful way to shift their perspective. I make sure to regularly point out the progress they’ve made, no matter how small. By celebrating their achievements and showing them how far they’ve come, I help build their confidence and reduce feelings of inadequacy. This focus on growth shifts the conversation from where they’re struggling to where they’re succeeding, reinforcing that the coaching process is working and that they’re improving. Recognizing their progress helps them see the value in our work together and motivates them to keep moving forward.

Focus on how the coaching process is designed to benefit them, emphasizing their growth and development. When they see that the coaching is about enhancing their skills rather than showcasing your expertise, they may feel more at ease. Personal Experience: I highlighted the coachee's progress and framed the expertise I brought as tools for their development. This reframing helped them view the coaching sessions as opportunities for personal growth.

It is important to be aware of progress because that inspires more progress and drive to continue the journey. Looking back to see how far you have come is always a good exercise. Recognising that you are not the same person you were five years ago, and that the person you were then, could they do what you are doing now? Who do you need to become in order to be the future you/or ideal vision of you?

You might say: "I've noticed ur excellent project management skills. I believe coaching could help you take those skills to the next level. Like, we could work on enhancing ur stakeholder communication, which could lead to smoother project execution & potentially faster career advancement. Remember, even top athletes have coaches. It's not about fixing weaknesses, but maximizing potential. ur willingness to engage in coaching shows ur commitment to growth. What aspects of ur role do you feel could benefit from some focused development? I'm here to support ur journey, not to judge or overshadow ur abilities." This approach emphasizes opportunity, acknowledges existing strengths & invites the coachee's input, potentially reducing resistance.

One effective way to address resistance is by highlighting the potential for growth your coaching can facilitate. Reassure your coachee that the goal is to expand their abilities. I once worked with a client who felt intimidated by my expertise. I emphasized that everyone has areas for improvement and that seeking help is a sign of strength. By framing our sessions as a partnership aimed at their development, I was able to shift their perspective from feeling threatened to being motivated to learn. This approach helped build trust and encouraged their engagement in the coaching process.

If my client feels threatened by my expertise, probably means that I’m acting not as a coach but as a consultant. Asking what is the best way for them to have a coaching conversation, what they want to achieve from it and in which way they want to take advantage from this conversation, is the only way to reduce the untrust I’ve probably created

Tailor your communication style to be more inclusive and supportive. Avoid technical jargon or overly complex explanations that could reinforce feelings of inferiority. Instead, focus on clear, accessible language that encourages understanding. Personal Experience: I consciously adjusted my language, ensuring it was clear and relatable. This change in comm

If your client is feeling threatened by your expertise, it could be "them", sure. They might be prone to being threatened. You'll need to explore that. But I'd suggest checking-in with yourself, first. A great coach helps their client hear their own voice and discover their own expertise and strength(s). Make sure you're not the one flaunting your great insights and knowledge. If that happens, it's usually a well-intended and unconscious thing... but try to check potential "advice overdose" at the door.

You’re the expert, but in my practice you need to be not only an expert. If you trying to be as formal as possible you loose trust. So you need to balance between expert and a guy from the pub

Everyone has their own language pattern and style.. It is important to listen and pick this up quickly so that you are able to get your point across in a way that the other person is able to comprehend. Using words similar to them is a good technique, and when you are reflecting back it is helpful to use their words, which also reinforces that they have been listened too. When a person feels heard and understood this builds rapport and makes them feel more comfortable about opening up to you.

Work together to set goals that reflect both the coachee's aspirations and your coaching objectives. This creates a sense of ownership and investment in the process, helping them feel more in control and less threatened. Personal Experience: By co-creating goals, the coachee felt more involved and less resistant. They could see the alignment between their personal objectives and the coaching process.

If a coachee feels threatened by my expertise, I’d first acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that it’s okay to feel that way. I’d have an open conversation to understand their concerns better, highlight their own strengths, and show how my experience is here to support their growth. I’d focus on working together as a team and reassure them that their development is my top priority.

In my coach training we would call this championing, or empowering the client. You want to say things like, I believe in you, you have been through so much to get this far and look how strong you are, you got this. It is also a good thing to elevate and appreciate the client to empower them to feel like they can do it.