You're seeking a job reference. How do you handle vague or unenthusiastic feedback?

I am a confessed fan of Steve Dalton's two books on job search and closing the process. Steve breaks down people whom you contact for informational interviews into three buckets: curmudgeons, obligates, and boosters. In other words, some executives will never be "into you" enough to post a reference, others will do the minimum, and a third group will gush positive comments about you almost without prompting. Search out and cultivate the boosters and stop wasting your time trying to get curmudgeons and obligates to help you.

Having a solid relationship with the person you are using as a reference is critical. If that person can't sing your praises, and speak about your strengths and areas of opportunity positively, please don't use them. Ideally, your references are individuals that you have worked with or known in a professional or personal capacity (school/volunteerism) for some extended time. Don't use the professor that you had one conversation with or the boss that you had a strained relationship with.

When seeking a job reference and receiving vague or unenthusiastic feedback, start by politely asking for specific examples or details to clarify their comments. Explain how constructive feedback will help you improve. If the feedback remains unhelpful, consider asking another person who can provide a more detailed and positive reference. Reflect on the feedback to identify any areas for genuine improvement. Maintain professionalism and thank the person for their time and input. Focus on highlighting other strong references and positive aspects of your work history in your job applications.

When dealing with vague or unenthusiastic feedback in a job reference: 1. Understand the Situation: Clarify specifics. Seek details about the negative feedback. 2. Communicate Proactively: Address it directly with prospective employers. Explain what you’ve learned and how it shaped you. 3. Choose References Wisely: Provide references likely to speak positively about your work. 4. Strengthen Your Application: Focus on a compelling resume, cover letter, and online presence. 5. Seek Feedback and Grow: Use negative feedback as a catalyst for personal and professional growth.

Ask yourself questions like: Were there any specific projects or tasks where I struggled? Did I communicate effectively with this person? Were there any misunderstandings or conflicts that might have influenced their opinion? By honestly evaluating your performance and the nature of your interactions, you can gain valuable insights. If you identify specific areas for improvement, take steps to address them and communicate your efforts to the reference. This proactive approach can help resolve any concerns they might have and demonstrate your commitment to growth and improvement.

Take time to reflect on the feedback you received. Consider whether there is any validity to their points and how you can learn from this experience. Honest self-assessment can lead to personal growth and improved performance in future roles.

It is essential to reflect honestly on your past performance and your relationship with the reference. Take a moment to consider any areas where you might have fallen short or misunderstood their perspective on your work. This self-assessment is crucial as it helps you identify and address any issues directly, potentially improving the reference's perception of you before they provide their final recommendation. By understanding and addressing these concerns, you can take proactive steps to enhance the quality and impact of your reference, ensuring it accurately reflects your abilities and contributions.

How to Reflect Honestly on Feedback from Your Boss Reflecting honestly on feedback is essential for professional growth. Here's how: 1. Self-Assessment: Review your past performance objectively. Identify areas where you might have fallen short or misinterpreted expectations. 2. Consider Relationships: Reflect on your relationship with the feedback provider to understand their perspective. 3. Address Issues: Use this reflection to identify and address any issues, improving your performance and the perception of your work. Self-reflection allows you to take proactive steps to enhance your skills and align better with expectations.

When receiving lukewarm feedback from a reference, you can address the situation by highlighting your past contributions and aligning them with the job requirements you're seeking. Example: Hi [Reference's Name], I hope you're well. Thank you again for serving as a reference for me. I wanted to remind you of some key projects and achievements that highlight my strengths and align with the role I'm seeking at [Company Name]: [Project/Achievements]: [Brief description and positive outcome]. These examples demonstrate my skills in [relevant skills] and how they fit the requirements of the new role. I appreciate your support and hope this helps in highlighting my strengths. Best regards, [Your Name]

Navigating vague or unenthusiastic feedback when seeking a job reference requires strategic communication to ensure your value is effectively conveyed. Start by clearly articulating the value you brought to previous roles, highlighting how your skills and achievements align with the job you're applying for. Remind your reference of specific projects or accomplishments where you excelled, providing them with concrete examples that illustrate your strengths. This approach not only refreshes their memory but also equips them with compelling points to emphasize in their endorsement, ultimately making their feedback more impactful and favorable.

How to Communicate Value from Feedback Communicating the value you bring is crucial when facing lukewarm feedback. Here’s how: 1. Articulate Achievements: Highlight specific accomplishments and projects where you excelled. 2. Align with Job Requirements: Show how your past successes are relevant to the role you’re seeking. 3. Remind References: Provide concrete examples to refresh their memory and strengthen their endorsement. By clearly communicating your value, you help your references provide a more compelling and accurate recommendation of your strengths.

When discussing your reference with potential employers, highlight your strengths and achievements. Emphasize the value you brought to your previous roles and how you can contribute to the new position. Focus on your positive attributes to offset any vague feedback.

One thing I tell my clients is to keep a brag book. This can be as simple as a Google doc or as extravagant as you prefer. If your reference is “stuck”, remind them of how you streamlined the data collection process so that the higher ups can better see project points, or how you created an employee engagement initiative that has reduced turnover in the last 6 months by 14%. This is why the brag book is important. You don’t have to think, you just have to pull up the document. ☺️

Additionally, you can provide them with a copy of your resume and any pertinent details about the job you’re applying for. This can help refresh their memory and ensure they can speak to your qualifications accurately. You might say, “I appreciate your willingness to be a reference for me. To help you provide the most relevant information, here are some key points and experiences that align with the job I'm applying for. I believe these examples highlight my suitability for the role.” This approach not only makes it easier for your reference but also ensures that they emphasize the most relevant and positive aspects of your work history.

Your reference of the specific achievements and projects where you excelled in your previous roles aligns these examples with the requirements of the job you're pursuing. By providing concrete instances of your contributions, you refresh their memory and equip them with compelling stories to share. This strategy not only makes it easier for them to endorse you positively but also ensures that their feedback highlights your strengths in a manner that resonates with potential employers.

If the person providing the reference is open to it, offer guidance on the specific aspects you’d like them to highlight. Share key achievements, skills, and experiences that are relevant to the job you’re applying for. This can help them provide a more detailed and positive reference.

Always keep all your job reviews. These can come in handy. As well, constantly document your accomplishments. Then provide your reference with the job description, the resume you submitted and walk them through what you have done with them that is relevant and as well, any areas that you think the company may have a concern to help them overcome it.

Relembre sobre suas relações e invista em solicitar referências aos que sejam justos com seu desempenho e possam contribuir na conquista de seus objetivos.

Consider reaching out to other colleagues, supervisors, or mentors who have a clearer understanding of your strengths and achievements. A reference who can provide a strong, enthusiastic endorsement is far more valuable than one who cannot convey genuine enthusiasm. An effective reference not only validates your skills but also highlights your accomplishments with passion, offering a more compelling narrative to potential employers.

One must never approach someone who is less enthusiastic to provide a good reference. When seeking a job reference, it's crucial to choose someone who has worked closely with you over an extended period. This person will have a comprehensive understanding of your strengths and contributions. They can provide specific examples of your achievements and work ethic, which are valuable to potential employers. Their detailed and enthusiastic feedback can effectively showcase your qualifications and character, enhancing your chances of making a positive impression on potential employers.

I agree. That’s why it’s always important to keep your relationships fresh. It doesn’t take that much time for a simple email or text just to stay in touch and keep aware of what other people are doing and making sure they know what you’re doing..

Seek a reference that knows you well and that you have worked with for quite some time. Definitely, that person will be enthusiastic to speak about your skills, professionalism and character.

I agree with not pursuing a reference who cannot offer warm and enthusiastic feedback from the start. I once called a reference who told me they would not rehire the person (which I didn't hire). Thank them for their time in responding or speaking with you, and take the opportunity to ask them what you could improve, start, or stop doing. Consider this feedback to include in your ongoing development, and it may be helpful when asked at the interview what area of development you are pursuing. Keep an ongoing list of contacts with current info, reconnect regularly (e.g., sending best wishes at the start of the year), and record thank you e-mails or letters and other documents. Where appropriate, you can quote from these in your cover letters.

Continue to maintain a positive relationship with the person who gave the feedback. Professional connections are valuable, and improving this relationship can lead to more constructive feedback in the future. Express gratitude for their time and input, and show your commitment to personal development.

This is the Golden Rule! This is all networking is: Relationship Building and Maintaining! Like friendships they take time and investment. There are a million ways to do this easily and it is something we all need to have built into our day. LinkedIn makes this very easy so use it but go deeper, one on one personal is necessary some of the time!

If someone is giving you a bad ref 👉 Bless them + release them 1️⃣ Find another ref in same company 2️⃣ Source refs from other employers 3️⃣ If struggling, get character refs Avoid risk 👇 Get written ref or LI testimonial first Get someone to call your ref This way, won't be any surprises 🙏

Perhaps you have a questionable past, though you have a few years of productive working experience is in order. In Corrections circles we teach curriculum that discuss how to apologize to your best reference for you failings. Perhaps you burned the Employer and or tarnished the local reputation with bad behavior? Perhaps this isn't you and still resonates? Try these few things.... -Reach out and give a sincere apology -Acknowledge the harm you may have caused -Ask how you can make amends -Discuss the things you have done to change behavior/things you have learned -Then ask for a possible reference

I always suggest asking people for references via email. When asked in person, people may feel obligated or uncomfortable saying 'no'. Better to know up front than face this. If it is a critical reference, ask them for an honest conversation and see if you can clarify and overcome their concerns. And always have extra references, bosses, bosses boss, co-workers, employees, vendors etc. Lastly, well networked employers will ask people they know even if you didn't give them as a reference. Be prepared ahead to know what might come up and be prepared to explain and overcome obstacles'!