How can you provide effective peer support for survivors of domestic violence?

Do you know what it feels like finding someone who you can call upon to share what you have been through without any blame or feeling shameful? Someone you can trust with personal details of your life. If domestic violence survivors find such a person is like diamond, priceless. What could you ask for in a person, attentive, trusted, compassionate, respectful, empathy and also an active listener?. To add the icing on the cake, also having that financial support (major improvement) that will bring stability in their lives. A Peer Supporter not only thinks of themselves but putting others first in situations like these to help those in need.

Just listen and don’t leave their corner. Just standing at their side listen to them, crying with them and devote all your attention to them even if they don’t want to talk. We need to recognize that we are different and everyone have their own time and way to heal. Is at their own time. Love, empathy, kindness, appreciation will save lives. God bless you everyone.

Be there - let people know they are not alone. Let them know they have done nothing wrong - it's not their fault. Have a good understanding of all domestic violence support services, including Safe Pets, Safe Families - options for fostering pets - which is often a reason people continue to stay in violent environments. Contact people regularly, consistently and ensure no wrong door approach. People from a Lived Experience of domestic violence provide invaluable, authentic and first hand experience.

Empower the person to make their own decisions by sharing information neutrally. Survivors are the experts in their experiences. Telling them what to do shifts power to you and away from the survivor, replicating abusive power dynamics. Restoring control can be an important part of the healing process for many survivors and peers can be a valuable and gentle resource in helping survivors regain a sense of autonomy over their lives and decisions.

Every domestic violence survivor is haunted by the events for a very long time. But it's important to make them realize that they are much stronger than think and can be a ray of hope by pulling themselves up and living their lives for many more people in a similar situation. It's important to make them feel safe. Everyone wants to be heard. That's what I would do as a peer and show all my support.

Unlike many formal resources, peer supporters are not legally bound by mandated reporting or safeguarding responsibilities. This doesn’t mean that peer support networks don’t carry the same ethical considerations around seeking further support if someone is mentioning a plan to harm themselves or others, but it does give more room for survivor agency in referring or reporting. In this sense, peer support can have a lower barrier to entry for survivors, since there is no legal obligation for peer support network to escalate concerns through the criminal justice or social welfare system (both of which can cause further harm to the survivor, especially survivors who experience multiple layers of marginalization).

It is also extremely important to take care of yourself while you are doing so. Providing peer support to survivors can be very taxing and bring up past trauma that you thought had been resolved. It is vital that you have your own support system to help you navigate difficult situations, and the effect they may have on you.

Being able to code switch as a victims advocate is important, you need to know how to “read your audience” and mirror the person you’re supporting in their energy. You don’t want to meet someone whose sullen with peppy energy, and vice versa. Adapt to those you’re helping, it makes a difference.

Understanding and being sensitive to different contexts is important. Too often we want to come in with a solution that is right for “us” rather than the person themselves. Sometimes it’s helpful asking. Or even leveraging help from people with similar backgrounds

Diversity is the spice of life and this is what makes us unique. A peer supporter isn't there to understand or know everything. No! She is there to help heal. Understanding this key component of the role can eradicate many unnecessary complications. Confidentiality is also very important to getting domestic violence survivor to open up to and building of trust in a peer supporter.

I would argue that networking with fellow activists is key. By building community on the ground, you’re better able to help peers when the time arises. You’ll be glad you spent time curating relationships inside the community when the time comes. You’ll know in your gut, what to share with who. Trust your instincts and listen, listen, listen.

Providing peer support for domestic violence survivors means fostering a secure environment for healing. Emphasise their resilience and potential for recovery, using empathetic listening to affirm their worth. Spiritual practices can anchor them, offering solace and stability. It’s crucial to validate their feelings, helping them to understand their experiences don't define them. Their untouched spiritual core remains intact. Support them in recognising their unblemished dignity and ensure they feel part of a caring community. Instil hope, highlighting a future where love and safety prevail, guiding them towards renewal and empowerment.

I agree with networking with fellow advocates but also doing to homework to understand what resources are available. Survivors often feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn, let alone look for resources to help. As such, they remain in abusive relationships because the prospect of leaving is scary and overwhelming.

Start doing your research and resource-vetting early! Ideally, you would have a list of resources that you have used or have firsthand experience with, or you will have gone through resource lists and done the work of analyzing pros and cons — what are entry requirements? Can survivors self-refer? Are there any associated costs? What is the mandated reporting structure? It can also be helpful to ask what kind of support the survivor needs or list options so that you can identify a few resources or services that are most relevant.

I have found that compiling a list of resources or finding a reputable list by a trusted organization are very helpful practices as a peer supporter. Having a physical or digital copy of a more comprehensive list of resources, divided into sections (e.g. psychological/emotional support, housing support, legal support, forensic exam and reporting, drug and alcohol recovery support, hotlines, LGBTQ-specific support), with details on the confidentiality and whether they offer free or reduced-price support, can give the person you're supporting the agency to come back to the resources when they feel more ready. Compiling and distributing resources can also be useful in that it allows you to note your experience with organizations.

It is essential to establish your boundaries whether you are also a survivor or not. You are there to support them but not to take on their pain or trauma. Understand your needs and be transparent and clear about what they are and if they are ever crossed.

As a survivor myself, an emotional distance and debriefing is important. My own support network is crucial. I’ve also had to step back sometimes and let others take over because it’s too overwhelming for me

It's important to understand the facts around domestic violence survivors returning to their abusers. Doing some light research about the power and control wheel can help to understand why someone might stay. Leaving domestic violence is hard, and when you are providing peer counseling services to domestic violence survivors who return to their abusers, it can feel like a failure. This is where good self-care and boundaries come in. Understand that there is only so much you can do, provide the support you can within the boundaries you have set, and have a plan for debriefing and resetting yourself.

Clear and boundaries, agency protocol and self-care. These boundaries support both my peer and myself foster a better relationship. Although we are mandated reporter’s, always understand your own agencies policy and procedures. Self-care has changed since being in this field. If I’m not taking care of myself it can lead to compassion fatigue. Everyone has their own way of doing and challenging themselves with self-care and I honor that part of my personal time.

Having your own list of self care practices and ways that you can de-escalate or work through your emotions when acting as a peer supporter is essential. It may take time for you to recognize your triggers and know when to step away and when you might be able to push through and seek support/rest after. Beginning a peer support conversation by clarifying or establishing your boundaries and the boundaries of the person you are supporting is an act of care for you both — only by managing and working through boundaries can we make peer support sustainable.

Learning from past mistakes makes us better at our jobs. Staffing , CEU classes and sitting down one on one with either your Supervisor or Program Director is empowering as they provide constructive feedback and acknowledge your strengths and skills in challenging areas.

I definitely think in such a sensitive matter, asking for feedback is crucial. The aim should constantly be to improve your support.

Sometimes this requires us to provide hard messages for the person. I have had the experience of telling someone in this situation a truth they did not want to hear. It was the best choice because it helped prepare them for the outcome and the conversation after the message provided positives for them.

1) Teach: Teaching children as young as possible about their value, faith/trust in their own internal radar and how to act when they sense discomfort is powerful. Teach what safety looks like, how to have boundaries and then model being a safe adult; one they can come too. Talk truthfully and openly about grooming and what it looks like. Teach about sex as healthy and normal so they know when it isn’t. 2) Believe: The most valuable gift you can give a survivor of abuse is your belief of their story. Sexual abuse is done in the dark, it’s expected to be kept in secret. Abusers are planning on people living in shame and not being believed when they speak. At all costs, no matter who the abuser is or how nice they appear. Believe!

Building trust and support for peers who have experienced domestic violence is crucial, but it's equally important to recognize that each person's journey of overcoming such trauma is unique. While it's natural to want to help, setting boundaries and managing our own emotions are essential. When I hear someone share their experience, I aim to validate their strengths and offer a space for healing. Sometimes, a simple day out for lunch, coffee, spa, movie, or even just sitting in a park can provide immense healing beyond words.

This is a shocking situation, but we should be cautious about overstepping our knowledge or abilities when it comes to such serious issues as domestic violence. Getting too involved when we lack the necessary knowledge, experience or training is dangerous if we don't handle situations appropriately. While providing general awareness, referral lists, and fostering a supportive culture is positive, we are not ultimately equipped to play the primary role in intervention, safety planning, counselling, etc. Defer these matters to agencies specifically designed to address domestic violence comprehensively.

Being an advocate looks different for everyone. In my experience, lending my assistance when it’s needed with friends, has led to larger advocacy. Making myself available online and being vocal, has led to large networking opportunities. When you’re ready, your skill set can help insurmountably.

By understanding the situation and providing the necessary care required with alot of emotional evaluation and listening skills required,in order to support one must listened and evaluate the solution out of it every scenario is different applying same formula for everything doesn't work,solution & support depend on the requirements