How do you ask powerful questions and listen actively to get insights and actions from executives?

The right powerful question can help reframe a situation, challenge or opportunity to trigger deep reflection and verbal processing. Many times coaching clients will hear themselves say something out loud as they explore the answer which leads to a breakthrough insight. Asking the follow up question of, “what would you like to do with that insight?” can create actionable steps for growth.

"Hmm, no one has ever asked me that." That, right there, is one of the most common responses I hear from new clients. I shouldn't be shocked, but I often am, when I ask questions like: - What are you most grateful for? - What is holding you back today? - What are you most proud of? - What would you try if you could guarantee success? - Why not you? - and many others of this ilk Powerful questions stop people in their tracks. They give us pause. They disrupt our routine, our comfort zone. They serve as a necessary (or at least welcome) respite in our busy and complex lives. Powerful questions are open-ended (how? what? why?) and allow clients to take stock not of their to-do list or of their specific job role, but of their entire life.

Powerful questions are the core of coaching. They are considered powerful when they are clear, concise, and provokes deeper thought and reflection by the client. They are open-ended and are generated as a result of the coach's keen focus on listening and observing the client's word choice, tone, body language, and facial expressions. Coaches can also tap into their intuition to surface questions that may be present from the coach as a result of being in the presence of the client.

A powerful question gets to the heart of the situation. It's a question that requires the responder to reflect before answering because it's usually more than a one word answer prepared phrase. A good response to a powerful question will provide deep meaning, context, and honesty. A powerful question requires a response with conviction.

A powerful question is one that 'provides' insight, a sight from within, that is outside of the clients usual day to day thinking or way of seeing the world. Our thoughts and beliefs are like blinkers that narrow our focus to only that which we already believe, whilst a powerful question provides the possibility of shifting paradigms and opening up new possibilities and perspectives.

A great tip I've learned is to try to avoid "why" in a question, as they can often trigger the fairly rehearsed, surface-level reason, which often the client believes to be true (and is looking to be consistent with their past rationale). By asking a very similar question starting with "what" or "how," you can help them to much more powerful insights. For example, instead of, "Why do you think you said that?" try "What were you hoping would happen after you said that?"

Asking open-ended questions involves framing inquiries that encourage executives to provide detailed and thoughtful responses. Instead of questions with simple "yes" or "no" answers, opt for inquiries that begin with words like "how," "what," or "why." These prompts prompt executives to delve deeper into their thoughts, experiences, and perspectives, yielding richer insights and stimulating meaningful dialogue.

Besides effectively using open-ended questions to delve deeply into the coachee's beliefs and perspectives, employing silence with proper timing can trigger immensely valuable insights.

Simple ! Use the 5'w's and a H format : Start or embed these into your questions with: >What >When >Where >Who >Which >How Open-ended questions aren't just inquiries; they're gateways to exploration and connection, deep diving into whats actually going on.

Open-ended questions seek an explanation, with the answer being longer than the question asked. Additionally, open-ended questions should be focused, leading to additional open-ended questions.

Curious questions require a genuine curiosity and a deep presence, trusting your intuition and not 'jumping' ahead, mind reading your client and trying to think of something clever to ask or say. It is all about presence and being attuned to the person in front of you, really being there fully with the client in every moment and placing any of your own mental distractions or noise to the side. It is not about you, it is about the client. This is what allows for curiosity.

Nunca te quedes con la punta de iceberg de las respuestas que te dan en un taller. Hay que seguir indagando, hasta algunas veces pareciendo un loop que no lleva a nada. Como consultor aprendí a navegar la incertidumbre de "la hoja en blanco" y la espera en silencios. Y en el momento menos pensado, ahí llega ese pensamiento que cambia la dinámica del día.

Asking curious questions, that don't imply or suggest advice or judgement, is at the heart of coaching. For many who left corporate work to become coaches, it can be difficult to not offer advice or solutions, especially when it feels as if we've been in the same position the client is describing. But even though it may be tempting to tell a client what to do, to do so would imply that the coach doesn't trust the client to be able to make good decisions, and will likely leave the client feeling unheard and unvalued. With the client's permission, a coach may offer personal experience, or that of another client without revealing identifying information, which can open the client's thinking to alternative actions, but this should be rare.

Questions that are genuinely curious require homework beforehand. Good preparation to learn more about the situation is the best approach. It shows knowledge about the situation and respects the questioning process. It also saves time. Irrelevant questions are of little use.

Asking questions out of the blue and so far from the direct concern help to widen the scope, rewire the brain and create new neuronal paths to get to a new scenario, daring asking first "imagine that you wake up in the middle of jungle, what do you see, how do you feel, what would be your first thoughts, what would be your first 3 steps or actions ?" Regarding the answers, we can go deeper in wakening the 5 senses through questions to understand more about the client and then, we can use the analogy of the answers to reframe the questions to the actual issue or challenge that the person try to overcome.

Lo más importante de un consultor gerencial, es preguntar lo que nadie pregunta, lo que es obvio, llegar al centro del problema. "Utilizar" los 5 por qué´s es una "táctica" para esto. Muchas veces no estás preguntando directamente por qué pero generás que la persona siga indagando. Otra táctica es utilizar SCAMPER dentro de tu diálogo con ellos pero no utilizando "DIRECTAMENTE" la metodología pero sí utilizando sus preguntas. Ambas funcionan muy bien para disparar el pensamiento crítico de los directivos.

Clarifying the last sentence with "how do you mean?" often leaves a reflective silence opening to really interesting answers. then, asking 3 to 6 levels of "why....?" taking the last answer. Then, the person passes from the superficial answer often dictated by a thought pattern deepening to the root, essence of what the person is and not referring to one's ego would say Usually, tears are even coming up even for the strongest. So, breakthrough is here

If you wish to improve your skills in questioning, then study NLP first apply it to yourself and then bring it into your coaching or leadership. Reflective questions enhances awareness and promotes deeper thinking: If that is not happening your questions are not revelling whats truly going on. Being reflective we must Mirror Key Points: Echo the essence of what's shared to encourage further thought. "What stands out to you about your situation?" 🔄 Probe into how they feel about their reflections. "How does reflecting on this make you feel?" ❤️

Active listening also means interrupting for clarification. Interrupting can also be used to point out contradictions. If possible, jot down notes to keep track of what is being said. If writing down responses is not possible, repeat back to confirm the essense of what was shared.

Actively listening to executives involves being fully present in the conversation, focusing on what they're saying without distraction or interruption. Maintain eye contact, nod to show understanding, and use verbal cues like "I see" or "Go on" to demonstrate engagement. Paraphrasing what they've said also helps to confirm understanding and convey genuine interest in their perspective.

Active listening is the cornerstone of effective coaching: As I coach, I must not do the following. Make assumptions Make judgements Make generalisations Give my full attention: Engage with what's said and unsaid. Listen with ears, eyes, and heart. 🧠❤️ Empathise: Strive to feel what your client feels. Understand not just the words, but the emotions behind them. 🤝 Again make sure you suspend judgment: Put aside your own thoughts and solutions, focusing solely on the client's perspective. 🚫💭

The coaches own self care is a key piece here and in my experience this can involve a short grounding practice before each coaching session to ensure deep presence and care for the client. I have heard this referred to by an indigenous teacher as 'emptying the bone', clearing out any mental noise, distractions or stressors that would impede with our capacity to be 100% there for the person in front of us. Alongside this I feel coming with a sense of deep curiosity is absolutely key in listening and coaching attentively. It isn't about impressing the client with your knowledge or wisdom, but about allowing the space and the question for deep insights to occur for them.

I love how John Whitmore describes this as 'listening with heart'. How well does the words and body language of a coachee match? if not perhaps there is more to explore to establish true motivations of the coaching need. We can gauge the level of emotion and interest in the tone of voice used and other non-verbal language. Silence is golden when being attentive, allows coachee to reflect and reach deeper levels of thinking.

Listening attentively goes beyond merely hearing words; it involves paying close attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. Observe the executive's tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions to gain a comprehensive understanding of their message. This attentive listening enables you to pick up on nuances, emotions, and subtle cues that contribute to a more profound comprehension of their viewpoint.

All of this and also… Some people neither read nor convey information transmitted by eye contact, facial expressions, or body language. I’m a neurodiversity coach, and these cues are not reliable with some of my autistic clients. Sometimes, the words they use hold the entire meaning of what they wish to convey.

Listening empathically entails not only understanding the executive's words but also empathizing with their emotions and experiences. Put yourself in their shoes, acknowledge their feelings, and validate their perspective. Reflecting back their emotions and demonstrating empathy fosters trust and rapport, creating a conducive environment for open communication and collaboration.

Listening non-judgmentally involves suspending personal biases, assumptions, and preconceptions while receiving the executive's input. Approach the conversation with an open mind, refraining from jumping to conclusions or imposing your own judgments. By creating a judgment-free space, executives feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts and ideas authentically, leading to more productive discussions and fruitful outcomes.

Each person must be approached with as little judgement, yes, but also as little expectation as possible. Neurodivergent people may have very different presentations and responses from neuronormative folks. By suspending underlying assumptions about human behavior and thought in general, coaches can open the door to see all of their clients with the clearest lens possible.

We aim for powerful, curious questions, and also, sometimes the power is in the silence, especially for people who may process internally, perhaps more slowly, as can be the case with neurodivergent folks. Stay present with clients through their processing without interrupting their thought stream and be ready to flow with them from whatever emerges.

One of the most powerful questions I ask is only two words: "What else?" then, I'm quiet. These two simple words can be quite impactful.

Coaches don't always need to be the ones asking powerful questions. Sometimes, the client will have the most powerful question at the top of their mind. As a coach, you can take a risk from time to time and ask your client: "What question just emerged for you?", "What are you seeking to answer here?", etc.

Integrate the Socratic method into your interactions with executives by framing open-ended questions that prompt critical thinking and self-reflection. Prioritize "how" inquiries to uncover underlying beliefs and motivations, fostering deeper understanding and dialogue. Embrace dialectical reasoning and intellectual humility to engage in constructive discourse and challenge assumptions collaboratively. By leveraging the Socratic approach, you can cultivate a culture of inquiry and drive transformative insights and actions among executives.

As a coach, a powerful question has that quality from the famous line from Star Trek - "To go boldly where no one has gone before." Whether it's asking about the last thing they said, asking about a completely new thing or just staying silent while nodding to the client, the hope is that clients go beyond what they currently know about themselves and their situation - and metaphorically, to go beyond the stars and beyond!