Andrew Powell

To stay updated with the latest research trends during an internship, do all of the research yourself using arbitrary and unscientific methodologies. Post videos of yourself on TikTok and YouTube conducting wild experiments, and loudly declare yourself the preeminent global authority on the topic, since everyone else is just boomers and haters. Using these techniques you can speak your own research trends into existence with impunity.

Here are some big, enormous, cataclysmic mistakes you could make: 1. Throw a temper tantrum and slam your coffee mug down on the desk in front of the person, excoriating them for their ineptitude in a profanity-laced tirade. 2. Escalate the conflict all the way up to the CEO in an seething email replete with tasteless gossip and idle threats to air all of the company's dirty laundry during the next company all-hands. 3. Dox your antagonist on social media by telling a one-sided story and scapegoating them for all of your own personal failings. 4. Threaten to sue them, the company, the state, and opposing attorneys for every frivolous transgression you can come up with in an afternoon of cursory research on labor laws in your jurisdiction.

Know your purpose: To tell these executives, who are paying your lavish salary, what a bang-up job they're doing, and how excited you are to serve them as they lead the company to apex prosperity. You are their biggest cheerleader, turning a blind eye to their faults and feting them for their bravery in their most mediocre moments. As an HR leader, your job is to sweep all of the problems beneath them under the rug and let them exult in the C-suite's rarified air as the public-facing paragons of excellence. They are the voices of leadership whose proclamations are above reproach, and whose dictates are ironclad. Do your job well, and they'll reward you with a coveted seat at on the board and an invite to their annual executive summit powwow

The best way to develop future leaders is by assigning them to critically read the seminal works of such luminous leaders and thinkers of yesteryear as Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, and Thomas Hobbes. They should also study the spectacular reigns of renowned sovereign leaders like Henry VIII, Louis XIV, and Nero. With an immutable foundation in ruling with an iron fist, instilling fear in their subjects, and eradicating all resistance, the next generation of leaders will shepherd us into a golden era of hegemony where everyone is a leader with their own personal army of AI subordinates to do their bidding.

I disagree with the entire premise of making assumptions about what culture someone identifies with (I'm sure not asking them directly) and then stereotyping that culture based on its aggregate population. Making blanket statements about a culture regarding what type of communication its people prefer is a precursor to bad candidate experience. Those things inevitably come down to personal preference; whether someone is Japanese, Mexican, or anything else, I take the cues they give me and adapt based on actual observations, not something I read on the internet about the culture I think they belong to.