Jason Yoong

It is easy to not really listen, but instead to be planning our counter-argument. Stephen Covey famously said, “Seek first to understand, THEN to be understood.” If you want to be heard, try 6 simple steps: (1) Ask where the other person is coming from. (2) Listen (do not plan your reply). (3) Confirm (reflective listening; state back what you understood). (4) Ask for permission to share your perspective. (5) Share it. (6) Confirm understanding (not agreement). Note that “Agreement” is not listed in the steps. That is purposeful. We will not always reach agreement, but reaching understanding allows us to work together and enhances clarity.

As you navigate your team through the challenges of the tech world, your perception of them must be balanced. Don't over-praise them to the point of complacency or under-appreciate them to the point of demoralization. High performers desire recognition but can be hindered by excessive praise. Conversely, downplaying their success can cause disillusionment. Your job is to keep the ship steady, recognizing success without inflating it and addressing failures without diminishing them. Like top students, they want the deserved grade on their report card. This balanced approach builds trust with other managers and keeps your team motivated and aligned with expectations.

A mistake most people make is they think "We will finish the project and then send ONE big announcement/email to all stakeholders and senior leadership sharing what we did." That does not work. Why? Lack of frequency, no recency bias (it exists whether you want to admit it or not), and senior leadership is always busy. What do you do instead? Send frequent (weekly, bi-weekly monthly) updates on progress: status, lessons learned, small wins, and stakeholder callouts. This method builds trust over time and keeps you top of mind. Try it.

The most important response (and often overlooked) is regardless what the feedback is, say “Thank you.” This signals you are open to feedback and want to improve. Then if needed, ask for specific examples. Remember, feedback you receive is either true and/or the other person’s perception of you (if inaccurate, that means you’ve done something to give the wrong perception, and you need to fix it).

Keep a list of recommended coaches/consultants categorized by domain expertise. It becomes a simple bonus resource to point people to and helps you grow/keep track of your network.

Try the XYZ Formula: Accomplished X as measured by Y by doing Z. You start with a data-driven result, followed by a comparison benchmark, and the action you did to achieve it.