Tara Geraghty

I've had to deal with very little conflict with my team in recent years. I believe this is because I have instilled the belief that "our team doesn't have conflict" into everyone. Early on in my career I had a ton of exhausting conflict on my team. I replaced that team and as I brought on new people I started speaking into existence what I wanted and expected. I often say, "our team is rooted in integrity" "everyone supports each other" "everyone no matter how big or small their role is has value" "we don't' have conflict." If you set those expectations the people who love conflict and drama with flee your organization or never join your organization. Then when small things arise they will be easy to deal with.

The word imposter syndrome implies there is something "wrong" with you. You have a "syndrome" and need to be "fixed." Instead reframe that thought. It starts with acknowledge everyone struggles from time to time with feelings of inadequacy, self doubt or lack of confidence. It's a human feeling and you are having a human experience. There is nothing wrong with you. It can help to write out why you actually are capable, able and experienced enough. List your past qualifications, education, and experiences. Know that no one has it all figured out, you might just be a few steps ahead on the road then those who are following you. Trust you have what it takes and what you don't know you will learn. You got this!

When dealing with conflict asking more questions is always a best first step. Having a toolbox of "right phrases" to use can also help. When offering suggestions for change you might say, "Would it be reasonable to....." (I find most people can't argue if what you are suggesting actually IS reasonable." When facing a conflict responding with, "What I heard you say..." vs "You said..." can be important in minimizing aggression. And, of course, taking responsibility for your contribution to any conflicts is always key. Remember, the goal is not to be right. The goal is to find an acceptable resolution for all parties involved.

Procrastination comes from a root word that means to "put off till tomorrow, defer, delay." So to procrastinate in and of itself is not necessarily "bad". Sometimes putting off one thing so you can focus on a more important or urgent thing is the best choice. The problem lies in the WHY. Why are we putting it off till tomorrow? Is it avoidance? Fear? Overwhelm? Feeling ill-equipped to handle the task? If we can determine what is causing the procrastination we have a better chance of making changes that support our ultimate goals.

Know how your brain works. Are you someone who can easily jump from task to task or do you work better with one task for a focused amount of time before switching to another? For example, you might perform better working on different projects on different days, or use mornings for some projects and afternoons for others. Communicate your preferred way to work (that also contributes to your best work) with your boss. Develop clear expectations on when things will get done. Use time blocking to know exactly what you will do and when. Finally, experiment and see what type of schedule makes you most efficient and effective based on your own personal style.

Consider aiming for harmony between your work and personal life instead of "balance." Balance by definition would imply equal (think of a scale). No one wants their job equal to their family. Instead, the word harmony means disconnected notes that come together in a pleasing sound. That is what we are striving for. A life that pleases us. How can you fit your work in and around your family. Especially with remote work on the rise this is an even more important skill to master. Using time blocking, weekly plan sheets, setting your phone to silent, and turning off notifications can go a long way to creating healthy work/life boundaries that support both you, your career, and your family.