Yonason Goldson - The Ethics Ninja

The question really contains it's own answer. Too many people can't articulate their own values because: 1. They simply haven't thought them through 2. They've absorbed them without reasoning their way to them 3. They conflate desires with actual principles Novelist Robert A. Heinlein wrote the self-deception is the root of all evil. We are all susceptible to rationalization, which is the first and most dangerous enemy of ethics. Hashing out a list of 3 - 5 core values is a worthwhile exercise best done with a small group of trusted advisors. Start by brainstorming anything that might be a value. Then organize and condense. The process might take weeks, but eventually you have a guide to decision-making and self-awareness.

The first tactic is useful in every situation of conflict, disagreement, or failure to communicate: Respond to the other person without using the words "I," "me," or "my." You will quickly discover how much we focus on ourselves. The next step is to recapitulate what the other person said until they acknowledge they have been heard an understood. Learning about one another and understanding different ideas and opinions is the surest way to build bridges and create a culture of respect that promotes an ethical mindset.

This is the approach I take in my book, "Grappling with the Gray." I present real and hypothetical ethical scenarios and dilemmas, then ask guiding questions, followed by a discussion attempting to examine all possible perspectives. These kinds of exercises are perfect around the dinner table, in the classroom, or at a company training. They stimulate discussion and get people to contemplate outlooks they might never otherwise consider.

Ethics requires that we try to see issues from every angle. Encourage others to play devil's advocate and consider other perspectives: "Why do you think someone might see this matter differently?" "If you had to argue the other side, what would you say?" "Can you imagine being in a situation that might cause you to shift your priorities or consider a different viewpoint?"

Preaching is rarely effective. But storytelling taps into a deep part of the brain. Research shows that people who read literary fiction show greater moral sensitivity than people who read nonfiction. Why? Because the story contextualizes the message so it is more easily internalized. Better to tell stories from your own experience, and best of all stories of your own failures and how you learned lessons that pointed you toward success. That vulnerability makes it easier for others to acknowledge where they have room for improvement and commit to doing better.

The first rule of poker is "leave emotion at the door." When approaching virtually any decision, we arrive with some personal bias, some predisposition toward one conclusion or another. Recognize your natural inclination toward a particular conclusion or outcome, then overcompensate in the opposite direction, playing devil's advocate and engaging others to argue first one side then the other. Start with facts, assess their accuracy, evaluate their relevance, then draw initial conclusions. Challenge those and find others to challenge them. And if everyone agrees on a conclusion, go back and start over. Unanimity is a red flag that groupthink has kicked in and fallacies are being overlooked.