Organizational psychologist at Wharton, #1 NYT bestselling author of HIDDEN POTENTIAL and THINK AGAIN, and host of the TED podcasts WorkLife and Re:Thinking
How do you encourage people to give you honest feedback? In our research, Constantinos Vassiliou Coutifaris and I found that it’s not always enough to ask. Sometimes you need to show that you can handle the truth. From my Growth Faculty event in Australia. For more, check out ch10 of Think Again and our WorkLife podcast “Is it safe to speak up?”
Great insights. Adam Grant
Demo vs Claim. This is profound. Thanks Adam
"might as well take credit" that hits right, Adam.
I know, I know... you're probably thinking that this won't work at *your* company because your senior leader hasn't demonstrated a pattern of maturity or psychological safety since, well, ever... But the thing is, even as a mid-level manager--or heck, even as an entry-level individual contributor (IC)--you can model this self-awareness, confidence, and assertiveness for your leaders... I think of it as "leading up"... It's the difference between leaving a performance review conversation: (1) upset and offended that the boss focused so much time on highlighting your weak areas and (2) empowered by going into that performance review already knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are, openly stating both, and also providing a proactive plan as to how you aim to address the weaknesses or amplify the strengths... Remember, not all managers are leaders, and not all leaders are managers. You can be one without the other... take this opportunity to think about how you *currently* show up at work and how you *want* to show up at work... and if that delta, that difference, is significant... well, now you've got something to work toward...--you've got this! (And, yeah, sometimes a workplace is just so broken that it's best to quit.)
Self-awareness changes EVERYTHING. Full stop.
An unorthodox approach that could work. The risk is that you might divert attention from the behavior or action the person is unhappy about. It might be more helpful to first build a connection of trust with the person from whom you are seeking feedback. As an NVC trainer, I also wouldn’t recommend giving yourself self-judgments like “I’m bad at…”. Instead, focus on observing specific actions and the feelings and needs behind them. This shift in language promotes self-compassion and helps you identify specific areas for growth without undermining your self-worth.
A respectful and honest negative feedback doesn't hurt people.
Self awareness is the key here!
I help individuals and organizations make work one of the best parts of life | Founder | Keynote Speaker | Award-winning Author | Top-ranked Podcast Host
2moSo important. We can't ask those we lead to say yes to uncomfortable truths and behaviors we aren't also modeling in an observable way. When we demonstrate humility, vulnerability and an openness to growth, we give others permission to do the same, while signaling that we value their input in our own learning journeys as well.