Akosua Boadi-Agyemang’s Post

A Great Resource To Help Those Newly Experiencing Grief Thank you Brooke Carlock for this helpful guide. There is so much that has to be attended to in early grief and decisions to be made when you are at your worst. This resource offers practical tips for those first weeks. #grief #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefawareness #griefcoach #griefrecovery #griefeducator 

** To my friends and connections who work in the field of grief -- I created this resource that your clients might find valuable. Please share if you feel it would help!** When you first lose someone you love, unfortunately you not only have to grieve -- you have to get sh*t done. But what do you need to do? And how do you do it? If you've just suffered a deep loss, I created "To-Do Through the Tears" to help you navigate all of the adulting crap that you don't want to think about. It's the guide I wish I had when I went through my own losses. 🔍 But "To-Do Through Tears" isn’t just a guide; it's like a compassionate friend who understands the practical challenges when grief hits hard. It's filled with: - Easy-to-follow checklists for those overwhelming days. - Clear, comforting templates for essential tasks. - Gentle, understanding guidance through each step of this journey. 💡 This guide is for anyone who feels drowned by the tasks and decisions in the wake of a loss. I've been there, and I know how crucial practical support is during these times. 👉 Here's what's inside: - Insightful, personal reflections on the grieving process. - Comprehensive checklists for managing everything from funerals to finances. - Empathetic templates for writing obituaries and notifying employers – the things I wish I had. - And much more, all shared from a place of understanding and empathy. Don't face this overwhelming journey alone. "To-Do Through Tears" is here to help lift some of the weight off your shoulders. It's the guide I wish I had, and now, I hope it can be a beacon of hope and practical help for you. #GriefSupport #PracticalGuideForLoss #ToDoThroughTears #GriefSucks #Grief #griefhelp Click here for your free download: https://lnkd.in/e9u_3TwV

The road of mourning weaves around countless turns. If we attempt to speed through this journey, we find ourselves struggling more deeply. While we might wish for a straight and predictable highway, the actuality of this trip is quite the opposite.  Despite our need to order grief, it doesn't move in an orderly sequence of stages. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a pioneer in this area urged people to let go of that misconception. When we are anchored in the moment, we can meet our sorrow when it knocks on our door. Do not shame yourself when you answer it. Your vulnerability is a legacy of love. Grief is messy. It doesn't care about your ideas about its' unfolding.  We want to control it as we are frightened by the sudden and jarring whiplash of emotions. All of this against the backdrop of the searing pain in our hearts due to the loss of someone we cherished.  Grief does not wait for someone to die. If they have Alzheimer's disease, you mourn them daily. We grieve our dreams and the many other losses which whisper their sorrow. Name yours.  While there are no maps, there are ways to be on this road which will support your understanding and safe travel.  The most powerful of these is becoming a good “host” to our sadness.  It is here that we befriend our pain rather than compounding it with resistance.   We are not who we were before our loved one died. When we accept this reality, we can hold space for our newly emerging self. We must also let go of the calendar as a way to assess how we are doing. The seasons of grieving change on their own. It is the expectations of ourselves, others and the process that is the problem. Do not insist that you must accept your loss before you are ready. That will evolve. When we compare our bereavement, we unnecessarily judge our "progress". Understanding that we grow old with our losses, we are not surprised by the resurgence of grief during meaningful events and milestones. We need to allow ourselves to give the pain a voice. Finding those who can sit with the enormity of it without judgment or the need to fix us. Sharing our raw truth in the sanctuary of safety. Telling the story of who died in our life and the meaning they had is a profound way to honor our loss. Allowing the tears of our soul to bleed freely. We need not be afraid to mourn. The storm that is moving through us will not always come with thunderous lightning.  Hold yourself with compassion.  Allow the light of love to be with you in this most difficult of times.  We are all mourning someone and something.  You are not alone. #mourning #griefsupport #mentalhealth #bereavement photo credit: @ryanresatka

On grief It’s 2 years since we lost my dad. Grief is an odd thing. Sometimes the memories of him & the silly stuff he did will make me belly laugh, other times the grief hits me so hard I lose the ability to breathe, my chest collapses in on itself & the soundless sobs that escape my body genuinely hurt. Part of me worries this grief will never end, another part of me doesn’t want it to stop, because I don’t want to forget the pain of losing him. And whilst the grief can be crippling, I know it’s completely normal. Grief is completely bloody normal, and yet we don’t talk about it nearly enough. Is it a taboo subject, a stiff upper lip thing, or we just don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable? I don’t care what it is, but it needs to change. So here’s a few of my honest thoughts on grief & how to live through it as best you can… 1. Grief takes it’s toll on you physically. For me I put on well over a stone (about 10kgs), and my hair fell out in massive clumps. Carbs were a comfort (aren’t they always) and I decided it was not the time to deny myself that comfort. I’m glad I did that. It’s taken me me 2 years to lose that weight by the way, and that’s ok too. Give yourself a break. 2. Ask for help. Whether it’s friends, counselling, a doctor - it’s ok to use it all. And for the love of goodness can we stop thinking that anti-depressants or sleeping pills are something to be ashamed of? I have taken both on & off for nearly 2 years, and yes they have helped. If you need the help, take the help. 3. Dealing with probate & funeral shit is awful. Literally the worst thing a family has to deal with at the very last time that they want to deal with it. First up, if you have family & assets make a will NOW, don’t leave it to someone else. If you are on the receiving end of this shitty process, just take it one call/email/one are you fucking kidding me lose your mind moment (and I’m sorry, there will be many) at a time. 4. Everyone grieves at their own pace and path. If you’re ready to get out travelling and blowing cobwebs loose after a few weeks - go you. If your friends of fam are not, that’s totally fine too. Your grief is yours. Their grief is theirs. It’s different, and it’s OK. 5. My dad died on the 22nd July, which in Australia is the middle of winter. His most favourite thing was Christmas, so I’ve decided to honour his memory by celebrating Christmas in July. Dad would love that I’ve created a new tradition based on something he would utterly have loved. And that’s my last lesson, if you can, turn your grief into something positive. Merry Christmas Pops. We all miss you. And goodness would you love my little Tassie farm. #grief #loss #movingon #celebratinglife #newtraditions

The community I wish existed when I was navigating my own grief. This might (or might not) surprise you.. But I believe the grief community is soft. Especially for Men. After Ollie passed, I went looking for support groups. You know, to connect with "like-minded" guys who had lived through something similar and were not just surviving.. But THRIVING. Instead, I found the grief groups overly whiny and not progressive enough. A bunch of guys complaining; looking for pity and excuses for a way out. And of course, the peanut gallery cheering them on. Now I'm not entirely insensitive (hear me out) Grief is a complex issue... Grief is the most personal of life’s experiences, nuanced by the love we shared with the one who died. Every relationship is different, so every path through grief will be different. But as Men, I believe it is our duty to feel & heal from the pain. Because pain acts as a catalyst, pushing us to adapt, learn, and evolve. As Men, it's in our moments of struggle that we forge our character. A pivotal moment to decide how you're going to keep showing up in the world. This is why I created The Mended Man Brotherhood. A community of like-minded, driven men who are navigating their grief.. Who also know deep-down that their pain carries with it a seed of hope. A seed of meaning. A seed of greater purpose. For the grieving man who's willing to do the hard work necessary. Who craves a brotherhood that inspires you to be more. But most importantly.. A brotherhood that's there to pick you up when you're down. 🗣 Calling all men ready to thrive through grief. Join The Mended Man Brotherhood, where we're rewriting the script on grief support for men. DM or comment "Rise" and we'll go from there.

Navigating Public Smiles and Private Tears Grief can often feel like you're living two separate lives: one for the world to see and one that exists in the solitude of your own heart. This duality encapsulates the profound complexity of navigating loss. On the surface, there's the life where we "pretend" everything is alright — where we smile, go about our daily routines, and engage with others as though unburdened by sorrow. It's a performance, driven by societal expectations or our own desires not to burden those around us. Then, there's the other life — the one where our heart silently screams in pain. This is the private face of grief, where the masks come off, and the raw, unedited emotions surface. Here, in the privacy of our own company, grief unfolds in its most genuine form: unstructured, intense, and overwhelmingly real. Living these dual lives can be exhausting. The constant oscillation between external normalcy and internal despair can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, and weary. Yet, this duality is a common part of the grieving process. It reflects the struggle to find balance between honoring our pain and maintaining our place in a world that continues to move forward, seemingly indifferent to our loss. The challenge, then, becomes how to bridge these two lives — how to find a way to integrate our grief into our everyday existence without feeling like we're living a lie. It's about giving ourselves permission to grieve authentically, recognizing that it's okay not to be okay all the time. It involves creating spaces where we can be honest about our feelings — whether that's with trusted friends, support groups like in our Grief Relief program, or through personal reflection. It's about setting boundaries and being honest with ourselves and others about what we're truly capable of handling. Most importantly, it's about understanding that grief doesn't have to be a solitary journey, even though it may feel deeply personal. Sharing our experiences can help bridge the gap between our two lives, allowing us to express our pain without pretense and find genuine support and understanding from those around us. In the dance between public composure and private despair, remember that your grief is valid in all its forms. You don't have to navigate this duality alone. Allow yourself to seek comfort, to express your pain, and to embrace the support that helps merge these two lives into one authentic journey through loss. Join us for a FREE workshop - 5-Steps to Heal Grief: https://lnkd.in/guwPy4ZE #GrievingProcess #DualLives #GriefDuality #AuthenticHealing #SupportInSorrow

Gazing out at sea after reading todays news on the cusp of this new year on a stormy day here in Wellington, Aotearoa/NZ "Even for those with excellent social support, there is a quality to grief that feels lonely. At least some of that necessarily so because no-one else can bare the weight of grief for us. So in a way we are alone. In another way we aren't alone. We aren't alone because grief is a common suffering we all share in a oneness that extends back through history and reaches forward into the very moment of now. We bereaved are everywhere. We are men and women and two spirits and the bereaved are old, young, adults and children. We are every political affiliation, and every religious or non-religious group. Some of us are well educated and some of us have no education. We live all around the world. In overpopulated cities and in rural areas. And we represent every ethnic group. We are a family of one and two and three and ten. We are traditional and non-traditional. One mom. Two moms. Mom and dad. One dad. Two dads. And all variations of family. We are surrounded by others, even animals, just like you and just like me. We are all around us everyday. Everywhere we go we bereaved are there. But we may not see them and they may not see us. This is oneness. This is the invisible force that connects every being that has ever lived and ever will live through the lifetime of the universe. Many like us have suffered a reality that others dare not imagine. Yet so many of us have lived it and we do not know as we stand in the grocery line that the person behind us has a wound like our own (...). We are the community of the heartshattered. This exceptional thread is interwoven through our lives and will remain from one era to the next. Grief unifies us as one and yes grief is painful and dark. And it is so much more. I trully believe those who are shattered are the ones who will one day change the world. We will bring lasting peace. We will spread compassion for all beings. And we will do so because of the consciousness of oneness and the compassion that unfurls. And the compassion that unfurls will be fierce and uncontainable. And it will not be in spite of grief. It will be because of grief." Joanne Cacciatore, Understanding and Coping with Grief

August 30 is National Grief Awareness Day, a day to honor those impacted by - and coping with - loss. This includes all of our customers we meet on a daily basis and our employees. There are many ways to commemorate the day. Here are some ideas: - Be supporting of anyone you know who is grieving, perhaps through cooking a meal or simply being a comforting presence - Write a letter to someone you have lost - Listen to a podcast on the grieving process - Understand that grief is a normal emotion, and that acknowledging and accepting the mixture of emotions that may exist can help honor the loss. - Grief does not run on a set timetable. - Memorialize a memory with a loved one by writing it down or creating a drawing - Repeat an experience you shared with your loved one, such as baking cookies, watching the sunset, or watching a classic movie - Light a candle in someone's memory (including a virtual candle on www.healgrief.org) We know grief for a loved one we have lost does not end after a funeral or other memorial service. Thank you to our staff for all you do to support our families in the midst of their grief. You fill such an important role, and you are appreciated, on this National Grief Awareness Day and throughout the year.

It’s a long one but worth it. Almost daily I am dealing with and trying to support grieving families, sometimes the grief is raw and overwhelming. Sometimes it is renewed grief from a loss years ago. Either way the pain is real. We must be good listeners for those experiencing grief. Not judges, and help with kindness any way we can. The following is something I read a long time ago which I often share with the bereaved. There is life after heart breaking loss. Feel free to pass it on As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you CAN breathe, you CAN function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a location, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

2-8 December is Grief Awareness Week. I just received a copy of Faith, Hope and Carnage. Sean O'Hagan and Nick Cave in conversation, discussing many things but chief among these is grief. Here is an extract which I think is pretty beautiful. "Sean O'Hagan: It’s tidal and it can be capsizing Nick Cave: That’s a good word for it - ‘capsizing’. But I also think it’s important to say that these feelings I am describing, this point of absolute annihilation, is not exceptional. In fact, it is ordinary, in that it happens to all of us at some time or another. We are all, at some point in our lives, obliterated by loss. If you haven’t been by now, you will be in time - that’s for sure. And, of course, if you have been fortunate enough to have been truly loved, in this world, you will also cause extraordinary pain to others when you leave it. That’s the covenant of life and death, and the terrible beauty of grief." The language we use to describe grief can be devasting and violent (annihilation, carnage, obliteration), but at the same time it is one of our guaranteed shared experiences. We will all be in it, up to our knees or necks, to differing degrees, dealing or not dealing with it in our own unique ways. Spoiler alert: there is no missing manual. Or, there is, but it remains ... missing.