Callie Calculator reposted this
Advocating for moms, Founder: CARRY™ Media, wife, working mom, Emmy-Award winning journalist and author
I can’t stop thinking about this quote from Melinda Gates. I have a daughter. She’s 16 and loves to play volleyball. She’s also got a heckuva lot more ambition than I ever did at her age. One day — maybe she’ll be a mom. Or maybe she won’t. That’s part of her story — one of the many parts — that I have no control over. But more than likely — one day, she’ll enter the workforce. She’ll show up to interviews and one of two things will happen: ❌ The interviewer will form an immediate bias against her. She’ll be viewed as a liability because she’s a woman and has “child bearing” years ahead of her. She’ll be stacked up against her male counterparts who may or may not be as qualified as she is — and she’ll be bumped down a peg because she’s viewed as a flight risk. If she gets the job — she’ll make less than said male counterpart, right out of the gate. And if she DOES go on to become a mother and remains in the workplace? She’ll be scrutinized to the point of burnout and be subject to the “Motherhood Penalty” — making 70 cents for every dollar paid to fathers at her organization. She’ll work her tail off; advocate for flexible hours and work arrangements; and even though she’ll have grown in empathy, leadership, courage and efficiency by becoming a mother — she’ll still be deemed lazy and uncommitted by society. ✅ The interviewer will recognize her strengths. She’ll be viewed as an asset because she is a woman and the potential for her growth as a professional will be taken into account by the organization. Her resume, experience and prowess will be evident from the get-go — and she’ll get the job because she’s the most qualified candidate. She’ll make the same — if not more — than her male counterpart, and her earnings will have nothing to do with her gender. If she DOES go on to become a mother and remain in the workplace? She’ll be celebrated to the point of happy tears. She’ll have access to paid leave and be supported upon re-entry. She’ll work her tail off; be productive in a flexible work environment; and her growth in empathy, leadership, courage and efficiency from becoming a mother will positively impact the organization, culture, and her family. The former is too familiar. The latter is too far-fetched. My daughter… your daughters… they’re the reason I’m not backing down. Something has to change. I’m not stopping until it does. #workingmoms #makeworkworkformoms #momsatwork
Yet there are scores of women who dominated in the workplace “designed for dads”. However, it’s smart to make our daughter aware that they will face opposition in the workplace, and not all of it from men or the systems in place, either.
I have a daughter heading to engineering school. I tried my very best to ask her to change her Major. She knows how difficult it was for me in a male dominated field. She looked at me and said “mom, I want to be an engineer and I know the challenges I will face”. For girls like her, I really do wish we all can make a difference by raising our voice.
Some of the power dynamics we see between men and women are bc men are taught not to embrace their full humanity (vulnerability & emotions) from a young age, it follows them into their work life. Leading by example is the best way to influence change, creating safe spaces for men to be full humans at work, and teaching women not to settle until they’ve found a place that values what they bring to the table.
I just hired two moms yesterday for remote positions that allow flexible work hours and salaries instead of hourly (they expected hourly wages). I thought about texting you!! One of my businesses that’s growing a ton is entirely run by mothers who work from home and they’re succeeding and growing!
I cannot speak to their pay equity as I was not privy to that information, but my experience during my years in talent management at McKesson was that child bearing was irrelevant, never talked about in talent reviews or when succession planning, and didn’t hold women back. When they did go out on maternity leave, no one batted on eye. It just happened and teams figured out how to get the work done in their absence. McKesson later switched to parental leave so that partners and husbands could take off after births and adoptions, too. I’m not naive; I know the discrimination is out there. But honestly, I didn’t see it at McKesson.
This is too true and while I often hear words that we are moving in the right direction and that there are more mothers in the workforce, the reality is that the mothers who do dominate in the work place can only do so by working their tails off and being more qualified by her male counterparts.
Paula Faris Yet employers are out there touting their diversity and inclusion policies. They claim to be family friendly. They use their inclusion of women in their leadership ranks to showcase how dedicated they are to empowering women, equal pay and growth opportunities. When we stop thinking about inclusion as a marketing tool and start actually believing in what women bring to the table in business, then and only then will things change for the better.
I got my first leadership position after I became a mom. The things I learned about time management, prioritization, planning, etc from that one life change could fill a book. And I used every skill in the workplace. Sure there are trade offs. Using my earned time for snow days was no fun. But she’s an adult now and I still have those skills. Moms are excellent investments.
Technical and Commercial Innovation Leader and Consultant. Senior Consultant at P2S. PhD Chemical Engineer and Process Engineering and Scale-Up Specialist. Passionate about making the world better for everyone.
3moJust one comment on this. Women who come to workplaces designed for dads (or more precisely, designed for men who are not involved in raising children at all!) are doing us all a great service. They are looking at some of the expectations and saying "that's ridiculous, I don't accept that." And while some men will stick their heads in the sand and object, many men think "wow, she's right - why do we put up with these stupid conditions?" and join the women in advocating for change. Supporting women in pushing for these changes is a win/win.