I was a people pleaser for waaaay too long in my career. This leadership tactic completely changed the way I think about the most important relationships to me.
Have you ever heard of creating your “square squad?” It’s a concept I read about in Brene Brown’s book Dare to Lead. Basically, you have a 1-inch x 1-inch piece of paper and you write down the people in your professional life who truly have your best interest at heart. These people, and their opinions, really matter to you.
“When we define ourselves by what everyone thinks, it’s hard to be brave. When we stop caring about what anyone thinks, we’re too armored for authentic connection.” - Brené Brown, Dare to Lead
I implemented this practice back in 2019, after going through an acquisition and an integration. I adopted it because I was trying to be a people pleaser and there were so many egos and different agendas flying around the room, I got overwhelmed and felt stuck. And also, looking back, I was behaving in a way so inconsistent with my core values.
My square squad:
✅ Opinions’ matter to me
✅ Is honest and transparent with me
✅ Makes me feel safe when I’m vulnerable
✅ Makes me better
I also used Brene Brown’s marble jar analogy to choose my square squad. Trust with someone is built over time. “Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, you put marbles in the jar. When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out. We look for the people who, over time, put marbles in, and in, and in, until you look up one day and they’re holding a full jar.”
Melissa Wilson, we’ve had quite a journey together. Thank you for being on my square squad.
If you created a square squad today, who would be on it? Tag them in the comments.
Founder & CEO Rezip
4moCongrats! Seems like yesterday we were at Studio together. Also I somehow didn’t realize you were at Blinq, our company is a subscriber!