Annually, June is designated as Men's Mental Health Month to bring attention to the 'silent' pandemic that is men's mental health issues. Globally, men are two to three times more likely to end their lives by suicide than women and are also less willing to talk about mental health challenges. Over the past few weeks, I've been reflecting on the various messages, campaigns, and personal experiences. I came to recognize the great disparity between what is being advocated for and the general realities of being a man in society, at least in my opinion (I can't say how accurate they are); here are some of my thoughts. Men are encouraged to speak up and share their problems, but they are then treated as less reliable and capable when they do or as liabilities that need to be watched closely (unless they have a significant position of power or are in privileged situations, in which case it may be less obvious). Men are told they matter and are valued but are seldom praised or affirmed for anything good or positive that they do, yet they are very quickly villainized, blamed, or called out for anything bad that happens in their direct and broader social environments, sometimes just for existing as men. Men are asked to be vulnerable without sufficient consideration of how foreign such a concept is for most men or how they should go about doing so, and are then laughed at behind their backs for being weak, overly sensitive, or dramatic when they do. Actions speak louder than words, and from what I can tell, most parts of society are not ready to take men's mental health issues seriously or care about them yet, nor does it seem that we are prepared to have raw, unfiltered conversations on how we can address them effectively. We may eventually achieve this, but I wonder how many more men will be lost before then. #mentalhealth #psychology #Singapore #linkedin
I agreed with the above comments. No one actually know or even speak about how difficult it is to be a man. For women, there are lots of it and much support, understanding and cheers to the issues that women faced. For man, most times we have to faced it alone. Talk about it, deemed not a man, too emo. Talk too little, deemed to be uncaring, self-centred, lack of emotions. Care for family, can be deemed to be not ambitious enough, if ambitious, why neglect your family? In society, man still considered as head of the household, so if things go wrong, like children not well behave, etc, man is responsible for all things that goes wrong in the household. If things goes well with the household, compliments and praise usually goes to the mothers. In today's world of more gender equality, mental health of men are even more relegated far below anything else. 😅
In today's world everything we do (or don't do) gets judged. This is because we live our lives in the public eye, amplified by social media which makes every move and every thought (or the absence thereof) visible to others. This invariably increases the social pressures on everyone. An additional complicating factor is the need to be politically correct. The issue with that is that what is deemed right today can be viewed very differently tomorrow, if the public opinion swings. You're damned if you do, but you're also damned if you don't. And in this day and age of diversity, gender roles are evolving, which for many is confusing. At the core, it is simple. One is either born a male or a female. BUT, how one identifies and want to live one's life can be infinitely more diverse. So long as we respect each other for who we are and identify as, all will be fine. Sadly, that isn't the case. We all could benefit from more tolerance!
Great contribution, I sum up, women tolerate labor pain once in a blue moon whereas men are in the situation every day, twice a day. They are burdened and fatigued by the social pressure of taking responsibility for every wrong or right they do or for people associated with them. Men are not encouraged to speak even they can not breath out through weeping as it is a taboo that gent can not weep.
Here's a thought worth pondering. We live through a period of transformation in relations between men and women, which risks taking us to undesirable extremes before we find a new equilibrium. A balance that implies that everyone, whether man or woman, can understand the meaning of their human experience and their role in it. Amidst these shifting identities and paradigms, the power of collective introspection becomes evident. It's a tool that empowers us to adapt to a societal environment where even the foundations are being questioned. We need to ask ourselves the right questions (some of which are raised in this text) to ensure that this inevitable and essential transformation is as painless as possible and that we quickly regain our equilibrium. These questions must come from observation. To do this, we need to remember Mahatma Gandhi's words, which apply as much collectively as individually: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
Your reflections are deeply insightful and bring to light critical issues surrounding men's mental health. The disparity between advocacy and reality is stark and disheartening. Despite the call for men to open up, societal reactions often fail to provide the support needed, instead adding to the burden. The lack of recognition for positive contributions and the quickness to blame further exacerbate this issue, creating an environment where men feel undervalued and isolated. Vulnerability, though essential for mental well-being, remains a foreign and stigmatized concept for many men. The societal mockery and dismissal they face when they do express vulnerability only deepens the wound. This highlights a significant gap in our collective understanding and response to men's mental health needs. As you rightly pointed out, actions do speak louder than words. Genuine, consistent support and open, honest dialogue are crucial in bridging this gap. Until society is truly ready to engage with men's mental health issues earnestly, we risk losing more men to this silent pandemic. Your post is a vital call to action, urging us to move beyond rhetoric and towards meaningful change. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront
This is unfortunately true Jonathan Kuek as there is still a common stereotype about how a man should be. Strong, Suave and Superior or Wimp Nerd and Loser. These extremities make it almost unbearable to talk about any trace of vulnerabilities. Men's friendship group is often constraint to sports, work or games, none of which are particularly helpful for meaningful conversations. Men's relationship with women are generally that of protector or provider which makes them less likely to see women as mentor confidants. We all have a part to play in sparking the conversation and to acknowledge that men's vulnerabilities are important and deserving of care and support. #womenformen for every woman to play a part in being the pillar sometimes for men to lean on.
Where are the Present Reference Global Statistics that Recognized by the International Community?
Honestly job hunting has also been putting so much strain on my mental health. Every rejection/ghosting just makes me hate myself even more, like am I such a terrible candidate? Why am I so bad at everything? I wish I wasn't alive right now. I also don't really have motivation to do anything, even what I used to enjoy. But I've always kept it to myself because I don't really want people to bare my burden, but I don't know where to seek help also.
This is, unfortunately, very true and sad. A recent paper also showed that due to the little understanding and support men experience, it is pushing them more into isolation, detached self-soothing and extremist political views.
Clinical Mental Health Researcher
3wContext for the image: Bill Burr (a comedian) was talking about how society tends to laugh at men's issues instead of taking them seriously.