Justin Topliff’s Post

I have had this note card on my refrigerator for years. I received it in a thank you letter from one of the organizations I donate to. I remember smiling and feeling a sense of warmth and appreciation when I read it. I kept it because in this great big world I have days when I can feel forgotten or like I don’t matter. This message reminds me that I do and so do you! So I must admit that I was surprised when I recently listened to a Mel Robbins podcast episode that talked about mattering. "Mattering" can refer to the idea of feeling significant, important, or valued in one's life or in society. It's about feeling like you make a difference and have a purpose. Mel and her guest talked about the importance of mattering for everyone, especially kids. I will include the clip from the podcast that provided recommendations and tips for parents on ways to show kids that they matter. There were some real gems! So how can we show people that they matter? Here are some simple suggestions: 1. **Listen actively**: Pay attention when the person speaks and show that you value their thoughts and opinions by actively listening without interrupting. 2. **Show empathy**: Try to understand the person's feelings and perspectives, and show empathy by acknowledging their emotions and being supportive. 3. **Offer genuine compliments**: Recognize their strengths, achievements, and positive qualities, and express your admiration and appreciation sincerely. 4. **Spend quality time**: Invest time in building a meaningful connection with the person by engaging in activities they enjoy and creating memorable experiences together. 5. **Be there for them**: Show your support during both good and challenging times, and offer your help, encouragement, and reassurance when needed. 6. **Respect their boundaries**: Respect their personal space, privacy, and individuality, and avoid pressuring them or crossing their boundaries. 7. **Express gratitude**: Let the person know how much they mean to you by expressing your gratitude for their presence in your life and the positive impact they have on you. By following these suggestions, you can make a significant impact on someone's life by making them feel valued, respected, and important. Start today and spread positivity and kindness wherever you go. I hope that you have an amazing week and remember...you matter! With Heart, Coach Kimee #YouMatter #reminders #activelistening #EmpathyMatters #compliments #BeThere #showsupport #gratitudeattitude #bekindalways #mywellnessjourney #coachkimee #mayyoubewellness Mel Robbins podcast on mattering: https://lnkd.in/gaKNvb9V

❓ What advice do you have for people pleasers who also are making difficult decisions to leave and need to stick to that decision and also have healthy boundaries? This question was recently asked on the Leaving Well hotline and I responded on the most recent Leaving Well episode and touched on my belief that you must go beyond *simply* relying on your gut or intuition. Now, I do believe FIRMLY in the power of our intuition, but in order to be as reliable as possible, your intuition MUST be fueled by boundaries, values: your riverbanks. Intuition - without fuel and support - will NEVER be strong enough to trust when making decisions about staying or leaving. *In the episode, I talk about our physical gut and draw a (maybe weird?) connection between how to keep both of them healthy 😉 If you have a gut feeling about what you should do about staying or going (re: the workplace), but still feel a bit wobbly about the choice, this is an opportunity to check in with yourself with some questions. ⚡️ What outcomes were you hoping to achieve with this project? ⚡️ What were you brought in to do? ⚡️ Why did you accept the role, project, or position? ⚡️ What did you commit to achieving? Some additional questions: ⭐️ Did you have to pivot to other important initiatives and you’ve not been able to complete the initial tasks? ⭐️ Did the project or role lose some of its importance (perhaps funding is dwindling, or the initial folks in leadership are no longer there)? ⭐️ Is the effort complete? ⭐️ Did you accomplish your goals? ⭐️ Have you lost your connection to the work? ⭐️ Does the project / role needs to be examined, pivoted, or picked up by someone else? In some cases, your decision to leave may be the natural end of the project or role. Perhaps if you take leave from the role, it will cease to exist. In those scenarios, it adds an extra challenging layer of complexity because you will likely have feelings that you’re abandoning post, or that you’re quitting before it’s time. Listen to the episode for more of my thoughts on this topic: https://lnkd.in/erBPQEnB 🎤 - how do *YOU* feel about your own boundaries, your intuition and "trusting your gut"? If you think back to the recent times when you've either trusted it or ignored it, what environmental realities can you notice about why you went that route? (and if you'd like to ask an anonymous question on the Leaving Well hotline, you can do so here: https://lnkd.in/eMT7B78V)

Are you still letting your 10 year old self run the show? ⁣ ⁣ When we are born, we are a beautiful clean slate – we are full of limitless potential. Literally ANYTHING is possible. ⁣ ⁣ Then life takes a sh*t on you as it invariably does and you place limitations on yourself to keep yourself safe. ⁣ ⁣ It doesn’t even need to be great, big, humungous traumatic events either that create the limitations. ⁣ ⁣ Without the self-awareness or emotional maturity to deal with it at the time (or parents that had the capability to deal with it), each little event creates more and more subconscious limitations. ⁣ ⁣ Emotionally stunted parents, being laughed at by your peers, a teacher that called you out in class, overly strict parents….⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Whatever it was, if you don't deal with it properly at the time, you bring that baggage into your adult life, i.e. you job! ⁣ ⁣ Here's why....⁣ ⁣ At the time you would have altered who you are in order to survive that thing. Then you form an unhelpful behaviour and adapt who you are to keep yourself safe.⁣ ⁣ At work, this looks like….⁣ ⁣ - Finding it difficult to say no to things you don't want to do. ⁣ - Avoiding any sort of confrontation. ⁣ - Being a workaholic to prove your worth. ⁣ - Seeking approval and validation from managers and co-workers ⁣ - Finding it difficult to make decisions. ⁣ - Feeling like other have an unfair advantage over you. ⁣ - Chronic anxiety at work. ⁣ - Sleepless nights when you make a mistake. ⁣ - Hugely sensitive to any tiny form of rejection. ⁣ - Finding it hard to set boundaries⁣ - Finding it hard to take criticism. ⁣ ⁣ ⁣You can "cope" with this up until a point. You create coping strategies or your mirror other people to try and get by and get you through your daily life. ⁣ ⁣ At some point though, it creates a glass ceiling in your career. ⁣ ⁣ Lucky for you though, it isn’t as difficult as you think to reverse the limitations and re-create that beautiful, limitless clean slate. AND reach your limitless potential!!! ⁣ ⁣ This is exactly what I’ll be talking about in my mega masterclass – The Big Quantum Leap. I will be revealing the subconscious secrets to exponential career growth by dismantling your subconscious limitations. ⁣ ⁣ How cool is that? It’s totally free too. Check out the link in the comments for all the details or drop me a DM with your questions. ⁣ What were you like when you were 10 years old?

As 2023 comes to an end, it’s only natural that we start reflecting on what we experienced and learned during that time. New year resolutions exist for a reason, even though the "year ending" is a milestone created artificially by us, humans. Still, it feels like the end of a season. Going with this analogy, pick your favorite season of one of your favorite tv series. I love Friends so much that I can’t pick one season, but for instance, the fourth season of Stranger Things is an absolute masterpiece in my books. So now imagine: if my adult life was Stranger Things (thank god it’s not!), 2023 might have been the fourth season. One of the big reasons is how much I have accomplished regarding my new year resolutions. In summary, I’ve defined 8 goals, reached 7 of them. And as we approach the fifth season (aka 2024), let me share some learning I’ve gathered on creating meaningful new year resolutions (and how they relate to year-end satisfaction): 1. All my goals depended exclusively on me. There was no “I’ll meet the love of my life”, “I’ll land that new role” or “I’ll become a millionaire”. Let’s admit, those things depend on other people, external circumstances and a good amount of luck too. Make sure your goals depend on your actions only. 2. All my goals seemed small, but required changing habits and/or overcoming themes which are psychologically challenging for me. For other people they could seem so minor and easy, but to me, it was like hiking the Everest or something. To be meaningful, they need to be personal. There is no point in writing your resolutions alongside friends or family, as this can only result in others influencing in a moment that should be as selfish as possible. Enjoy the holidays dinners with them, but leave your new year goals definition to you and only you.  3. All my goals represent a fresh start, an open door for other areas of my life. This means they will be reviewed, reassessed, re-written and re-enter my 2024 resolutions list as well. It’s all about the journey of self-development and life satisfaction, so there is no finish line. Don’t forget that the "year ending" is just an artificial milestone we created. In reality, nothing changes on January 1st. But positive changes can happen progressively during the years. At the end of the day, it’s not about accomplishing goals or resolutions. It’s about their meaning. The amount of resolutions you define means nothing either. My 2022 one was simple: survive and to get through all the changes when freshly moving countries. For 2023 I was a bit bolder. For 2024, well, that’s still undefined. My final piece of advice: remember that defining these resolutions should be a fun, insightful and overall enjoyable process. If you don’t see yourself experiencing this positively by December 31st, then embrace any other tradition you may have for this day. Toasting with sparkling wine is usually a crowd favorite. :) Happy Holidays, everyone! May 2024 be your best season yet.

Shaking off the ‘ghost’ of #Gaslighting 👻 It's common for people to witness stories like this and assume, 'They got out,' 'It's over,' or 'They must be fine after all these years.' However, there's a whole journey of recovery that often goes unnoticed. -->https://buff.ly/49UfY5H The aftermath of gaslighting can make it feel like being stuck between your current emotions and being haunted by the ghost of gaslighting's past. Emotions, as I've come to understand through my work in emotional intelligence, are invaluable data. They serve as signals to approach, not avoid. It's important to recognize that there is NO such thing as a bad emotion. 🧠 Leaving a distressing environment doesn't always end the distress either. Trust issues and lingering ‘unpleasant’ emotions can persist, making it crucial to check in on our feelings and honor them. That's why I make it a point to ask the question “how are you feeling?” or “how are you doing now?”. During this part of the episode, both Sarah and Nippy showed ‘emotion granularity’, or the ability to accurately label and name their feelings (shame, despair, embarrassment, humiliation, etc.) in a nuanced way that goes beyond saying “I feel bad” or “good” now. When you’re in a gaslighting relationship or a cult, there is a lot of suppression of our sense of self that leads us to disavow, judge, or even lose touch with our feelings. And when you don’t know how you feel, you’re out of touch with a key source of information about yourself! Wrapping up the discussion on this episode, I want to express my gratitude again to Sarah and Nippy for sharing their stories. It was truly a gift to explore this topic from a different angle. I encourage you to follow them along their journey, read Sarah’s book, ‘Scarred’, watch The Vow on HBO, and continue listening in for more education around this topic. #GaslightingAwareness #EmotionalRecovery #EmotionalIntelligence #RecoveryJourney #TrustIssues #EmotionalWellness #EmotionGranularity #SelfAwareness #TheGaslightEffect #gaslighting #PersonalGrowth #SupportSurvivors #EducationIsKey #NXVIM #CultAwareness

Self-Actualization? WTF is That? Ever caught yourself thinking, "Is this it? There's gotta be more to life"? Well, same here. Then I stumbled upon this fancy term: self-actualization. Sounds like something out of a self-help book that's trying too hard, right? But hear me out, because understanding it kinda changed everything for me. So, what's it like living as someone striving for self-actualization? Imagine waking up each day not just to survive but to actually live. You know, really live..... daydream bubbles emerge.... 🌞 Morning: I wake up, and the first thought isn't about dreading the day ahead. It's, "What's the adventure today?" Even if it's just trying a new coffee blend or taking a different route to work. It's about those little choices that feel so me. 👩⚕️ Work: Yeah, work's still work. But now, it's less about pleasing the boss or hitting numbers. It's more, "What did I learn today? How did I push the envelope a bit?" It's finding purpose in the grind, knowing that what I do aligns with who I am, not just what pays the bills. 👭 Relationships: This one's big. I stopped trying to fit into boxes or live up to every expectation. Instead, it's about genuine connections, being real with people, and not just showing the highlight reel. It's asking, "Do these relationships help me grow, and am I contributing to their growth too?" 💔 Challenges: They don't magically disappear. But now, when stuff hits the fan, instead of asking, "Why me?" I'm more like, "Okay, what's this teaching me?" It's about facing life head-on, knowing there's value in every bump in the road. 🌃 Evenings: Before, I'd crash and zone out in front of the TV. Now? I reflect. I savor the quiet moments. I think about the day, what I learned, how I felt, and what I can do better tomorrow. It's not about being perfect; it's about being a bit more me each day. So, self-actualization? It's not just some lofty goal or a checkbox in life. It's this constant journey of asking, "Who am I really, and am I living true to that?" It's not easy, but it sure feels right. Feels calm. If you've ever wondered if there's more to life, maybe it's time to ask yourself not just "What do I want?" but "Who do I want to be?" Turns out, the journey to finding out is what self-actualization is all about. WTF indeed, but the good kind. Croissant's morning routine of jumping and face-licking might just be the purest form of self-actualization: finding joy in the simple things, no existential crisis required. ^^^^^^^ ⚡Hi, I’m Emily Dunn, Transformational Mindset Coach⚡My mission is to free a million minds from limits ⚡I specialise in guiding individuals to unlock and embrace their untapped potential ⚡Act now, set up a free consultation. Link in my profile. Follow me if you like posts on  #resilience #equality #growthmindset #emotionalintelligence #leadership #teams #mentalfitness #psychologicalsafety #empoweredmindset #empowerment #innovation #creativity #NewYearNewMindset

𝙃𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜! Interesting fact: Being grateful increases your happiness level. Try this simple exercise: Once a day think of three things in your life that you can be thankful for. Small things like, "I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head," or "I'm thankful that I got to watch my favorite TV show tonight." If you do this exercise everyday, your happiness level will rise. Hoping that everyone finds much to be thankful for. The image below was created with the Albert Image Generator. Try it for free at www.AlbertAISuite.com.

Some notes heading into the #Christmas season alongside some hopes for 2024. Photo: Huggy Wuggy because, of course. * I'm excited to be able to spend a couple of weeks with family this month in the Chicago area. It's been far too long and it's only possible thanks to being an #entrepreneur and work from "home." Also, two weeks in the cold oughta do it. * As Steve Martin once said, all I want for Christmas is world peace, revenge against my enemies and for $30 million a month, to be given, to me. * One of the true gifts of #technology, which we all learn this season, is the return of time once spent battling other humans to the death in a line for a Furby. Now, what will you do with it? * Every year, when I see my nieces' and nephews' Christmas lists, my first thought is, "What the hell is a XXXX?" This year's culprit: A HUGGY WUGGY. Seriously. See pic below. * I think I'm going to try to put together a standup comedy routine next year. Here's to 2024 being all about growth and doing things that make me nervous. * Also, 2024 will be a year of making recipes and screwing them up completely. I kid. I actually am pretty good at following recipes so here's to a healthy year. I guess I can start now. * From the perspective of Orlando Tech News, next year will see a slow but steady rollout of new features, including deep dives, personality profiles and the occasional series. * Also in 2024, expect a much tighter ship at OTN (the boss says to himself). Some stories slipped through the cracks of a one-man operation but I plan to hit the ground running next year. Although I feel some organizations felt slighted, the truth is my goal has never been to post up run-of-the-mill "this organization exists in Orlando and here are some words from the organizer" stories. I want depth about the "why" and that takes time, attention and, well, much more effort than the simple stories that, frankly, are often not read as thoroughly as deeper dives. That said, there is a particular organization that I know I owe a good dive into and it will be worth the wait. He knows who he is ... * Finally, come 2024, stay tuned for some projects somewhat out of the ordinary for me, at least in public. It's another version of growth that I'm looking forward to but it's going to be a way to illustrate that the skills I use regularly right now are far from the only ones I have developed. What does this mean? Books, video, podcasting, etc. If you have a project in mind, chances are I can contribute so please consider me for a potential partnership or, at least, see if my skillsets might be useful.

This went (a bit) viral on Reddit 😅 More than 60 people shared it with their friends. Here is what I covered in my latest newsletter episode: 🤮 Why screen time is a symptom, not the problem. 💊 Why happiness is the antidote to unintentional phone use. 🤓 A structured definition of happiness. 🚀 Actionable questions to assess your happiness. If you want to read the full version of episode 14, visit my profile and use the link on top of my bio. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞? Anything missing? Tell me in the comments ☟