Kiki Vandeweghe’s Post

“I’m just trying not to get my hopes up.” Does that sound or feel familiar? If it does then you too have succumbed to the phenomenon that Brene Brown has dubbed “Foreboding Joy.” Foreboding joy is that feeling of excited expectancy and terrifying anxiety at the same time. It describes the body urge to protect from feelings of pain or disappointment by attempting to dull or limit positive emotions. Frequently, this urge arises from previous associations in our life where feelings of intense joy have also been followed by experiences of grief. It causes us to attempt to manage thoughts and expectations in order to try and feel prepared for the other shoe to drop. Our bodies do such a good job of trying to protect us and they use past learning to help inform our current circumstances. Problems arise when that past learning is painful and alters the way we think and respond in a way that used to be helpful, but isn’t always helpful anymore. In the instance of foreboding joy we try to “beat our vulnerability to the punch” and build walls against any large feelings of positive emotion. Even if this good thing doesn’t happen at least we were right. Sometimes we succeed in not feeling too much and perhaps never experience the feeling of devastation, but that also means we never experience the feeling of elation and we become numb or muted to our life experience. However, perhaps if we are honest with ourselves we are just fighting our feelings the whole way and we still end up experiencing the feeling of hurt regardless of how much we tried to protect ourselves. This is why it takes courage to hope. It takes courage to examine that painful past learning. It takes courage to form new patterns and thought processes. It takes strength and bravery to move from an existence of avoidance of the pain to truly showing up in our own life. It can be an extremely difficult process of doing this work, but it is most definitely doable. I have seen it happen in everyday heroes who can compassionately hold both the joy and the pain in life for themselves and those they love. Hope is hard and it can be scary, but I’m here to remind you, have courage friends, it’s worth it. #forebodingjoy #courageousliving #hope #hopeandhealing

7 THINGS YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KEEP PRIVATE (Secrets to Guarding Your Inner Peace and Becoming a True Stoic) In our fast-paced, hyperconnected world, it's easy to become overwhelmed by the constant stream of information and the demands on our attention. But what if there was a way to regain control over our lives, cultivate inner peace, and become true Stoics in the modern age? This video delves deep into the heart of Stoic philosophy, providing you with 7 invaluable insights into the art of living a more serene and balanced life. 1. Don't speak ill of yourself. Never engage in self deprication 2. Don't boast about self improvement (humility and description) let action be the testament of your improvement 3. Don't be a glutton: stop excessive indulgence. Moderation is key. 4. Don't be a big mouth : Listen more than you speak. 5. Don't be too focused on the future: to be happy, be mindful of your present. 6. Don't be ungrateful: practicing gratitude is the way of acknowledging the positive aspects of life 7. Avoid complaining for a happier life: complaining tends to bring negative around our lives and the lives of others. Our happiness depends on our perception. Complaining is an unreproductive cycle, it creates a sense of victim-hood.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear” - Ram Das What is it about being alone that scares so many people? It scares people themselves and threatens others - why? When our reflection becomes blurry or distorted, it is so important to be able to step back, disconnect from today’s crazy world to recenter, regain perspective and focus on our well-being, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Solitude gives us the opportunity to reflect on our own thoughts about the past, present and future- especially if it’s been recently confusing and chaotic. We inventory our strengths, our weaknesses and “clean house” to say, in what we keep and not keep in order to survive for ourselves and to be able to help others. Because unless we are firm and confident in ourselves, how can we be confident and helpful to someone else? Chosen solitude is a good practice to self care, because you can’t pour from an empty cup and it can be anywhere from an hour, days or how ever long you need. No one should be afraid or threatened by someone taking quiet time. When we disconnect from daily stress, we’re able to enjoy our time in reconnecting without obligation or expectations of others, we appreciate our blessings, have gratitude for what life brings us. We develop an inner peace and therefore establish healthier relationships with others. So don’t be afraid to take time for yourself in becoming a better, stronger, happier version of you. I am always here if someone needs me, however, if I’m casted aside because of someone else’s opinion or misunderstanding of my quiet needs - there’s a problem, not without resolve but will be definitely addressed with boundaries upon reopening that door - Soft Paths, God’s Blessings 🙏☀️❤️

Even without the Fairy Godmother. I was having a chat, or discussion with my wife the other day. We had watched Cinderella a day or two before. A movie, incidentally, that I love, and I happened to say something along the lines of ‘life should be like a fairy tale, don’t you think?’ Initially she looked at me like I had lost the plot. No pun intended. And its not just because I have a tendency to wear frock coats either. Let’s just think about it for a minute, what exactly is a fairy tale? A fairytale is a genre of magical story usually originating in folklore. Typically, a poor, brave, and resourceful hero or heroine goes through testing adventures to eventual good fortune and love. They include a wondrous or magical element, and include fantasy, supernatural or make-believe aspects. Let’s start at the beginning then. Why shouldn’t you be the poor brave or resourceful hero or heroine? The first component for that to happen then is belief. I struggle with that, still. However, by a little luck and by conscious decision, I am slowly collecting a fantastically supportive group of people around me. People who believe in me and find ways to say ‘yes, we can do that’, I still need that pointing out to me from time to time. Recently whilst struggling, perceiving I been let down again, my wife pointed out that ‘she had never let me down’. Amazingly obvious, however I needed reminding. Belief will always lead to resourcefulness. However, I am starting to believe. Anxiety makes imposter syndrome difficult to put away. Entirely. Brave? Well I’m not about to start bungee jumping or getting in the ring with Anthony Joshua either. Both require a certain amount of madness and whilst I may have a certain amount of madness, it’s not that type of madness. However, if I start feeling fear about something that is part of the every day then that is my que to stand up and step forward. If I am living my own fairytale then I have to be brave. No mean feat when anxiety is still rolling around in there… Giving a presentation to a large group of people, in a frack coat is scary. But I won’t back down, I know that the euphoria on the other side of that fear is one of the things that makes life so special. Whilst on the subject of frock coats, they are a symbol to me of how far I’ve come. For more on the fairytale, please visit https://lnkd.in/eD8ugn2Z Simon Pollard Urban Countryman March 2024. #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #fairytales #positivity #slowthemind Brian Mike Mike Gaynor Les Neil

Every morning, I begin asking myself these questions: a) Am I satisfied with my current life: peace, enjoying the activities of a regular day, my spirituality, income, health, family, and profession? b) Do I tolerate myself and others, respecting my and others' beliefs? c) Do I let myself feel happy regardless of external circumstances? d) Do I let life happen to me or against me? At the end of my day, I review them, and whatever my answer is I again ask myself: Did I take any proper action whenever was needed? If I didn't, why?: -False beliefs -To please someone? -To stay out of trouble? -Avoid getting out of my comfort area. every week I change some of the questions so I can track my life: Am I improving the quality of my life? Am I enjoying the journey? If I am to receive, the best way is to give, If I want love the best action is to love ( myself and others) If I improve my life without having fun, something is missing badly.

In life, we often find ourselves navigating moments of profound emotion, where the delicate balance between joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, becomes more palpable than ever. Such instances seem to echo across the eternities, affirming the very essence of our mortal journey. In these times, our soul speaks a universal truth, often during periods of loss — not exclusively in the loss of life, but also in the subtler, yet seemingly significant losses we endure, such as the sting of unjust accusations, the weight of misjudgment, or the ache of being misunderstood. I pen these words today not merely as an observer of life's intricate dance but as one who has recently walked through its flames. My reflections are born from a place of deep humility, akin to a contemporary echo of Jimmy Stewart’s poignant journey in "It's a Wonderful Life." I have been subjected to unfair treatment in a public forum, a trial that has unexpectedly ignited a rallying cry from the most unexpected quarters. The initial shock of this experience gave way to a profound sense of humility — a word that feels too meager to encapsulate the depth of my sentiment. Friends, both expected and surprising, have risen in my defense, affirming my character and efforts in a manner that has profoundly underscored the worth of my life’s endeavors. While some friendships have wilted under this trial, their number pales in comparison to those who have stood steadfast — a truth I must acknowledge for the sake of honesty, even in a narrative that strives to focus on the brighter side. This journey has illuminated a fundamental truth: the immeasurable value of sincere love and care for others. In extending genuine kindness, we lay a foundation for mutual support in times of need. It has also served as a poignant reminder of how I must strive to live my life — with the courage to overcome the daunting walls of fear when standing for what is right, buoyed by the knowledge that others would do the same for us. To those who happen upon these musings and have stood unwaveringly on the side of truth, know that your actions have profoundly impacted my life. Your support has transformed my tears of anguish into tears of joyous laughter, reinforcing our shared bonds and commitment to each other. This message may not encapsulate the full magnitude of my gratitude or the vividness of the emotions I've experienced. Yet, know that I have endeavored to convey the depths of my heart and will remain eternally grateful to those who have stood by me. In life's journey, where truth, loyalty, and courage intertwine, we find the true essence of our shared humanity. It is in these moments of trial and triumph that we discover the unshakeable bonds that unite us, revealing the strength and beauty of the human spirit.

Sometimes, life feels very hard. We might feel sad, worried, or scared. Our brain might tell us that things will never get better. It might say, "There is no hope." But this is not true. Hope is like a small light in the dark. Even if we can't see it, it is still there. When we feel hopeless, it is important to remember that our feelings can change. Just because our brain says there is no hope doesn't mean it is right. Many people have felt hopeless before and then found happiness again. We can talk to friends or family about how we feel. We can ask for help from a doctor or a counselor. Sometimes, doing something we enjoy can help us feel better. Even small things, like going for a walk or listening to music, can bring a little hope back into our lives. It is okay to feel bad sometimes. Everyone does. But we must remember that these feelings will pass. We can be patient with ourselves and trust that hope will return. So, even when your brain tells you there isn't hope, know that there is always a chance for things to get better. Keep looking for that small light in the dark. It is there, waiting for you.

February 7, 2024 You can have it all. We know those words might be challenging to accept now in your life and world, but we beg to differ. When you begin to understand, accept, and love your unique life journey and what you came to offer your world, you experience having it all. We gave you a message on this date a year ago that will aid you now, as will our live conversation on your new moon. The world needed you and your life experience. February 7, 2023 Love and believe in yourself more. You came to the world during a time of significant change or restructuring, as we termed it, which you will hear others using as well. You have something you are meant to offer to yourself and the world, and as you continue to do so, you will energetically help shift the trajectory of your world, but it does require you to love yourself and believe in your gift. We gave you a message on this day ten years ago as we knew what many of you might be feeling due to the global changes that we also said would be ones none of you have experienced. That was purposeful to cause more of you to move in the direction of love and self-acceptance. February 7, 2013 You have created and allowed your experience of stress or any stressful situation to show up in your life so that you remember to take care of yourself and live in your moment of now. Any feeling of stress means that you are holding an attachment to something physical and, at that moment, halting your expansion. You can’t be in the process of simultaneously expanding and feeling any manner of stress. It merely requires you to change your mind to change the condition.  – Wilhelm Please Join Us for Our Next Channeling Session & Wilhelm Conversation ‘You Can Choose Peace Over Chaos’ – February 9th at 3pm Pacific Time Register For the Channeling Session Here https://lnkd.in/g6TuyJ-5 #rogerburnley #wilhelm #ascension #selflove #selfacceptance #lifepurpose #lawofattraction

February 7, 2024 You can have it all. We know those words might be challenging to accept now in your life and world, but we beg to differ. When you begin to understand, accept, and love your unique life journey and what you came to offer your world, you experience having it all. We gave you a message on this date a year ago that will aid you now, as will our live conversation on your new moon. The world needed you and your life experience. February 7, 2023 Love and believe in yourself more. You came to the world during a time of significant change or restructuring, as we termed it, which you will hear others using as well. You have something you are meant to offer to yourself and the world, and as you continue to do so, you will energetically help shift the trajectory of your world, but it does require you to love yourself and believe in your gift. We gave you a message on this day ten years ago as we knew what many of you might be feeling due to the global changes that we also said would be ones none of you have experienced. That was purposeful to cause more of you to move in the direction of love and self-acceptance. February 7, 2013 You have created and allowed your experience of stress or any stressful situation to show up in your life so that you remember to take care of yourself and live in your moment of now. Any feeling of stress means that you are holding an attachment to something physical and, at that moment, halting your expansion. You can’t be in the process of simultaneously expanding and feeling any manner of stress. It merely requires you to change your mind to change the condition.  – Wilhelm Please Join Us for Our Next Channeling Session & Wilhelm Conversation ‘You Can Choose Peace Over Chaos’ – February 9th at 3pm Pacific Time Register For the Channeling Session Here https://lnkd.in/g6TuyJ-5 #rogerburnley #wilhelm #ascension #selflove #selfacceptance #lifepurpose #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment

Years ago, I loved nothing more than being the center of attention. There was an inexplicable rush of excitement that came with being the life of the party, the guy whose name was on everyone's lips, and the guy who had everyone's undivided attention at all times. Keeping it real--these things mattered to me a lot. Pathetically though, those things mattered to me so much that I was too blind and too self-unaware to realize that I was none of the things that I just described above 🤦🏾♂️. To call that period of my life "cringeworthy" would be too kind of an assessment. Looking back on it now though, I have a deep empathy for my younger self. I have come to accept that as an adult, my brain will always be shared by the broken childhood bullying target of my earlier years. And years ago, that sad, bullied kid pleaded with my adult self to chase after the attention that would finally grant me the "cool kid" status that has eluded me my entire life. So, I started chasing. I chased after a prestigious title at work, and got it. I chased after living in a fancy West Los Angeles zip code, and got it. I chased after a slick luxury car, and got it. I chased after having six-pack abs, and, umm...it's still a work in progress. Unfortunately, all of my surface-level "success" came with a painful realization. After all of my frantic collecting of the stuff needed to be one of the cool kids, I discovered that nothing about me was cool at all. Worse than that, as an unintended bonus in my chase for attention, I was rewarded with something that I wasn't chasing at all: Emptiness. Not that you need me to tell you this, but there's nothing "cool" or "positive" about emptiness. Clearly, a change needed to be made. So I made that change, and it has guided my life ever since. I chose positive impact over attention. In other words--instead of focusing on the attention I needed to fill the emotional voids in my life, I focused on the positive impact I could give to others to help them close some of the voids in their lives. I haven't felt empty ever since ❤️.