“I’m just trying not to get my hopes up.” Does that sound or feel familiar? If it does then you too have succumbed to the phenomenon that Brene Brown has dubbed “Foreboding Joy.” Foreboding joy is that feeling of excited expectancy and terrifying anxiety at the same time. It describes the body urge to protect from feelings of pain or disappointment by attempting to dull or limit positive emotions. Frequently, this urge arises from previous associations in our life where feelings of intense joy have also been followed by experiences of grief. It causes us to attempt to manage thoughts and expectations in order to try and feel prepared for the other shoe to drop. Our bodies do such a good job of trying to protect us and they use past learning to help inform our current circumstances. Problems arise when that past learning is painful and alters the way we think and respond in a way that used to be helpful, but isn’t always helpful anymore. In the instance of foreboding joy we try to “beat our vulnerability to the punch” and build walls against any large feelings of positive emotion. Even if this good thing doesn’t happen at least we were right. Sometimes we succeed in not feeling too much and perhaps never experience the feeling of devastation, but that also means we never experience the feeling of elation and we become numb or muted to our life experience. However, perhaps if we are honest with ourselves we are just fighting our feelings the whole way and we still end up experiencing the feeling of hurt regardless of how much we tried to protect ourselves. This is why it takes courage to hope. It takes courage to examine that painful past learning. It takes courage to form new patterns and thought processes. It takes strength and bravery to move from an existence of avoidance of the pain to truly showing up in our own life. It can be an extremely difficult process of doing this work, but it is most definitely doable. I have seen it happen in everyday heroes who can compassionately hold both the joy and the pain in life for themselves and those they love. Hope is hard and it can be scary, but I’m here to remind you, have courage friends, it’s worth it. #forebodingjoy #courageousliving #hope #hopeandhealing
Laura Groeneweg, MSW, LICSW, CCTP’s Post
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FORGET & FORGIVE YOURSELF! Forgiving and forgetting ourselves is paramount for our well-being, releasing us from the burdens of past mistakes and self-blame. By embracing self-compassion, we free ourselves from the cycle of negative emotions, fostering emotional freedom, healing, and personal growth. Letting go of subconscious barriers, forgiveness empowers us to live authentically in the present, cultivating inner peace and a positive self-image, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and joyful life. Here are some simple affirmations to help you forget and forgive yourself: Try them and share your experience "I acknowledge my mistakes, but I am not defined by them." "I release myself from the burden of guilt and embrace self-forgiveness." "I choose to let go of the past and focus on the present moment." "I deserve to move forward with a clear mind and an open heart." "I am worthy of forgiveness, both from others and from myself." "I accept myself completely, flaws and all." "Every day is a new opportunity to learn, grow, and forgive." "I am capable of forgiving myself for any past actions or decisions." "I choose self-compassion over self-criticism." "I trust in my ability to heal and move forward with grace." #SelfForgiveness #LettingGo #InnerPeace #PersonalGrowth #goals
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Helping Women to connect with their Hearts & Create what they Love |1:1 Coaching | Wellness Facilitator | Qigong | Tai Chi | Workshops | Young People | Speaker | Corporate | Advocate/Mediator | Women's Circles
Recently a loved one has, and is facing a very trying time in his life. 🙏 A time when life hits you with an unexpected twist that is both unpredicted and hits you like a complete bolt out of the blue. A painful, distressing and shocking experience. Easy for me to say as I'm not the one 'in it' or that it's happening to, but I do believe that the body never lies. That when things happen in life on a physical level, there are other things at play. That life and our body is trying to teach us something. While it can be hard to comprehend, frightening and bewildering, if we can lean into it and question it, be curious about what the experience is showing us, we might be able to realise the lesson, take some of the power out of the pain and heal better and quicker. ✨ Clearly these life threatening experiences bring up many mixed emotions and reactions and they can definitely warrant a time of anger, upset and confusion. That said and like everything in life there is duality, its opposite, or its other side. ☯️ This being a lesson to observe, realise and listen to. To seek the message within this situation and what it is trying to teach us. In certain situations it can be to slow down, to take a different direction ➡️ in life and literally smell the roses more. To be more present and enjoy life more. Perhaps, it's less doing, more being and taking oneself and life more lightly. To breathe, feel alive and laugh more. To release what weighs you down, discard that which doesn't serve you and walk through life more freely. When pain and upset hit you and rock your world as you knew it, be with it, lean into it and walk through it. The more you try to fight 🤛 it and rush it along so as to get to the other side, the more you fight against it. You push it further in and hold it more tightly, all of which tightens its grip, exactly what you're trying to avoid, to change or to get away from. #leanintoit #Acceptance #lessonsinlife #teachings #observe #lookandlisten #bewithit #Walkthrough #dontfightit #gowithit #loosenthegrip #goeasyonyourself #makeitlighter
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#itsyourtime 𝕀𝕟 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕠𝕥 : ℕ𝕆𝕋𝕀ℂ𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝔹𝔼𝔸𝕌𝕋𝕐 𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕃𝕀𝕋𝕋𝕃𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕊- 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕤, 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣. When we give ourselves with abandon to the little things around us -seeing them as a beautiful presence in our world, we are given the antidote to fear, and even at times, despair. Of course, it is easy to notice beauty when we are in a soft and gentle season in our lives, yes? No, choosing to look for the good; for the beauty, is often hard work and it requires a conscious decision, but my experience over the last 4 years has been that the more I practice this (as an art) the more it becomes a discipline that has the ability to sustain me, even in the midst of tremendously difficult circumstances. Life has a habit of unravelling at the seams, and there are times that it is easier to look away, to go into survival mode, PLEASE DO NOT avert your eyes. It is important that you see the problem . It is important that you feel that. Beauty is often hidden in plain sight. The greatest gift that we were given, was the realisation that we have a choice to see the world as a beautiful place, but more so, that we allow ourselves to wrap in it with quiet abandon. If I could leave you with one food for thoughts it would be that you know that whatever stories your life is weaved from, there is beauty hidden in unexpected places for you. If you would make a habit of looking for it, of noticing beauty, for making space for the presence of wonder, it will become a certain antidote to the things that would steal your hope, your peace, and your joy. 👇👇👇 Don’t leave this read without sharing your thoughts 💭. 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕠𝕪 🤩? Leave Your Comment Below . 👇👇👇
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Think of the people you cross paths with day in and day out. People who you can be your next partner or mentor, whatever it is. It doesn’t have to lead to resentment and complete denial to you unless it’s completely irreparable. Forgiveness is there and it’s about you. It’s such a powerful emotion that can liberate your heart and soul and change your life for the better, and yet in many circumstances, bad choices are made because of lingering regrets. You can make a choice here, after all this is part of your decision-making process. You can stay and allow or turn away and deny all day long. When you choose you will see and feel it! Forgiveness does not always equate to reconciliation or maintaining a relationship. It is possible to forgive someone for the sake of your healing and closure, without necessarily allowing them to remain a part of your life. Establishing boundaries and prioritizing self-care is crucial, particularly when dealing with toxic or harmful individuals. It is important to recognize that you deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and compassion, while it is acceptable to distance yourself from those who do not meet these standards. Forgiveness is a journey that may require time. However, it is essential to remember that you hold the power to decide how you wish to progress, which includes setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being. Keep shining bright where darkness lingers. #forgiving #mindfulness #ignorance #responsilbility #powerinpeace
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Your joy can also be a source of comfort and inspiration… Ever found it challenging to show your joy when you're around someone who's struggling? It’s natural to feel hesitant, wanting to be sensitive to others' feelings. However, remember that your positivity can offer a glimmer of hope to others, even in difficult times. I've learned that it's okay to shine brightly even when others are experiencing sadness or difficulty. Here are a few ways I've found to keep my joy alive without diminishing it: Be Present: Acknowledge the emotions in the room, but don’t let them overshadow your own happiness. Share Genuinely: Share your joy authentically and compassionately. It’s okay to celebrate your successes and moments of happiness. Listen with Empathy: Listen actively and empathetically to others' struggles. Your presence and understanding can be just as powerful as words. Support and Encourage: Offer support and encouragement to those who are struggling, while still honouring your own feelings and experiences. Your light shines brightest when you're true to yourself and compassionate towards others. #KeepYourJoy #BeTheLight #EmpoweredLiving #laurenbrettlifeandleadershipcoach
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🌟 Way Back Wednesday 🌟 Looking back at this photo of myself at 6 years old, before I continue I need to share firstly, gotta love a 70’s haircut(not!) and the song comes to mind as I see my toothless smile, go on admit it's now playing in your head over and over ‘All I want for Christmas is me two front TEEF’ …. your welcome! 🤣 Seriously though… I realize how much I've learned and grown. If I could share some wisdom with my younger self, here's what I would say: 💚 Remove self-doubt; be authentic. 💚 Be committed to using personal development and on ‘peeling back the layers’ of childhood conditioning that do not serve you / keep you stuck 💚 Anything is possible; follow your inner compass to guide you aka ‘gut feeling’ 💚 Focus on mindset as it is everything, and gratitude changes everything. 💚 Do the things that light you up and know you are here to be of service in this lifetime., to inspire and help others, come from the heart 💚 Don't be a people pleaser; be assertive and practice self-care. 💚 Remember, you are perfectly imperfect. 💚 Surround yourself with a like-minded tribe and community. 💚 Use your energy for what you truly desire and never give up! 💚 You are here to Prosper and live a life of Abundance 💚 Treat others how you wish to be treated Embrace these principles, and watch your life transform. 💫✨ #WayBackWednesday #PersonalGrowth #MindsetIsEverything #BeAuthentic #SelfCare #GratitudeChangesEverything #Community #FollowYourPassion
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Cultivate a Happy Heart and Inner Peace 1. Practice Forgiveness: Let go of anger and resentment, even if someone has wronged you. 2. Embrace Gratitude: Instead of complaining, focus on what you're thankful for. Prayer can be a powerful tool for this. 3. Live with Balance: Find joy in simplicity, regardless of your wealth or status. 4. Develop a Positive Mindset: Choose to see the good, even in challenging times. 5. Smile Often: A genuine smile can boost your mood and uplift others. 6. Practice Generosity: Give back to others, even in small ways. It can bring you more joy than you realize. 7. Send Silent Well-Wishes: Think positive thoughts and hope for the well-being of others, even if they don't know. 8. Celebrate Others' Success: Be genuinely happy for your friends' achievements. Your positive energy will attract more success into your own life. These are just suggestions, and what works best for you may vary. The key is to find practices that nurture your inner peace and happiness.
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a short list of traits i'm focused on developing, both personally and professionally in 2024: 1. sincerity my closest friend once asked me something that has stuck with me for years: "do you want to be remembered as someone who was funny and impressive, or someone who was sincere and kind?" our society lacks sincerity. the people who approach life earnestly are the ones who end usually end up being a blessing. 2. accountability in a lot of ways, this is the ultimate litmus test for community. do you trust those close to you in life such that you would actually be willing to be accountable to them for something? in essence, becoming better in small ways and in big ways at letting my yes be yes, and my no be no. 3. hope i have often conflated "hope" and "optimism" throughout my life. i am generally a glass half-full and silver-linings enthusiast. hope goes where positivity cannot. hope is a longing for something that has not yet come to pass and is usually out of my control. hope reminds me of my natural human limitations and teaches me to long for the ways of God. 4. courage perhaps this is because i have been reading biographies about courageous men and women as of late; perhaps it is because courage seems to be a characteristic our culture is deficient in. courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. much of personal and professional life is marked by pain and grief. being a courageous person has a ripple effect into the lives of others who are navigating similar challenges. 5. joy joy is much different than happiness. biblically speaking, i suppose i'll get more specific with what it is i'm hoping to develop: the joy of the LORD. as is stated in the book of Nehemiah: "do not grieve; the joy of the LORD is your strength." joy finds its roots in something much deeper than circumstance or external reality. joy is derived from being deeply known, sustained, and loved by God. 👉 this post was sorta inspired by Blake Atwell's from yesterday (go check his out)...but my question for you all is: ❓ what are you focused on in 2024, personally or professionally? #JoyInTheJourney #UseTheTime #KeepGoing
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🐶 Our Dire Need for Patience 🐶 “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson 🐯 Different parts of our brain all work in a rhythmic dance to help us sort out time. Whether it's our innate ability to hum along with a tune, dance to a song or the general sense of time passing by, our mind is calibrated to a cosmic beat. Our struggle with the limitation of time as it relates to our wants and needs defines our patience, something especially critical for our happiness. 🐵 Lack of patience leads to anxiety and stress which are not conducive to happiness in the slightest. It's rooted in the ego and our desire for control. These are things we know are detrimental, but which nonetheless seriously impact our lives. The ability to control patience, like a Zen Master, can help keep us on the right track. 🐱 It seems strangely ironic that the less patience you have the more you need it. When you place a particularly high priority on something, the feeling of wanting it immediately grows in leaps and bounds. When you are expecting that big raise or anticipating a hot date, it can't come quickly enough. However, when it comes to your next visit to the dentist, you have all the patience in the world. 🦁 The best solution for lack of patience is distraction. Time is relative. The more you sit around in a funk about whatever you are waiting on, the slower time passes in your mind, as you pass deeper into the funk. When you successfully re-focus on something else and let time just float by, you'll discover you've avoided some unnecessary stress in the interim. Whatever will be, will be, regardless of how much you worry about it. 🦊 Interestingly enough, time oozes along slowly for animals with slow metabolism, like a tortoise, but speeds on by for something like a hare. We all remember how that story works out in the end. Patience. It's something that helps maintain our happiness as life ebbs and flows to the beat of its own drummer. #hope #dream #inspire #actualize
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Life Coach/ Mentor //Speaker//Author//Minister//Physician//Helping high-achieving women over 50 conquer overwhelm and activate joy-filled resilience.
When you begin to shift your mindset and align your actions with your God-given purpose, you'll uncover a profound sense of joy. This isn't just the fleeting happiness that comes from external achievements or material possessions. It's a deep, lasting joy that comes from truly living and embracing each moment of your life. Imagine waking up each day with a heart full of gratitude, eager to experience whatever comes your way. This joy is about savoring the small, everyday moments—laughing with loved ones, finding beauty in nature, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of coffee. It's about being present, letting go of the need for everything to be perfect, and accepting yourself as you are. You'll find that this joy is resilient. It stays with you through the ups and downs, giving you strength and perspective. It’s the kind of joy that allows you to laugh at yourself, to see the humor in life’s unexpected twists, and to keep moving forward with grace and determination. Keep growing, keep learning, and most importantly, keep embracing life with an open heart. This joy is your guide, helping you to navigate challenges and to appreciate the blessings in every season. Remember, it's not just about reaching your destination, but finding joy in the journey itself. #EmbraceJoy #LiveFully #LaughOften #KeepGrowing #FindingPurpose #PresentMoment #Gratitude #InnerPeace #selfcare #drphyllis #healing #transformationalcompassionfatiguecoach
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