Facing loss is one of the hardest human experiences, and supporting someone through it can be equally challenging. Your guide offers thoughtful advice on how to approach this delicate situation with empathy and respect.
### What Not to Do
1. **Avoid Unsolicited Advice**: Instead of offering solutions, acknowledge their pain with statements like, "I’m so sorry you are going through this right now. It must be very difficult."
2. **Don't Hijack Their Story**: While sharing your own experiences might seem helpful, it can overwhelm the grieving person. Focus on their experience.
3. **Don’t Rush Them**: Grief has no timeline. Pressuring someone to “get back to normal” can add to their pain.
4. **Don’t Assume You Understand**: Even if you’ve experienced a similar loss, each person's grief is unique.
5. **Stay Present Beyond the Funeral**: Support often wanes after the funeral, but that’s when it's most needed. Continue to check in regularly.
6. **Say Their Name**: Acknowledging the deceased by name can be comforting, especially for parents grieving a child.
7. **Avoid Platitudes**: Statements like "God has a plan" or "At least you have another child" are often unhelpful and can feel dismissive.
8. **Acknowledge and Make Eye Contact**: Even simple gestures like eye contact and a nod can be meaningful.
### What You Can Do
1. **Ask Permission**: Respect their readiness to share or receive help. Questions like, "Would you like to tell me about it?" or "May I give you a hug?" are respectful.
2. **Inquire About Today**: Ask, "How is today going for you?" to provide space for them to share their current feelings.
3. **Share Memories**: Telling stories about the deceased can be comforting and affirming.
4. **Accept Various Responses**: Recognize that everyone grieves differently.
5. **Offer Specific Help**: Instead of vague offers, give specific options like picking up the kids or sending a meal.
6. **Continue Long-Term Support**: Periodic check-ins and notes of encouragement long after the funeral can provide ongoing comfort.
7. **Seek Permission for Continued Contact**: Ask if it’s okay to message or check in. If they agree, follow through consistently.
8. **Help with Daily Tasks**: Coordinating help for practical tasks, like house cleaning, can be a significant relief.
9. **Be Present in Silence**: Sometimes, your silent presence is the most powerful support you can offer.
By following these guidelines, you can provide meaningful support to those who are grieving, honoring their unique process and helping them feel less alone in their journey.
#SupportingGrief #EmpathyInAction #CompassionateCare
When someone we care about is hurting, it's only natural to want to say something that will help them recover. Yet too often we choose words that don't help—like these.
What Not to Say to Someone Dealing With a Loss
psychologytoday.com
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1moBeing Intentional with Word Choices, in these moments, is SO important!!