Status Quo Disruptor | DEIA advocate | Training expert | Anti-racist advocate | Workshop Facilitator | Public Speaker | DEI Content Creator
Tone policing centers white comfort. Centering white comfort sabotages racial justice efforts. A DEI colleague once told me that for white leaders at his job, using the term white supremacy was as bad as using racial slurs against folks of color. My jaw dropped. Welcome to the world of tone-policing, where anti-racists and DEI advocates have to consider watering down terminology to keep hairs from standing up on people's necks. Here's how it shows up in everyday conversations and posts: 👉🏾 "Why do we have to use this term?" 👉🏾 "Can we change the language anti-racists use?" 👉🏾 "These are exactly the terms we shouldn't be using." This is tone-policing because even though anti-racists may not be upset when using these terms, they are perceived as inflammatory. I get that these terms aren't pleasant to hear, but I need everyone to understand something: Changing the terminology does not change their impact on Black, Brown, and mixed-race folks. A pig with lipstick on it is still a pig. So when racially marginalized people describe their experiences using these words, please stop with the 'can you say it a little nicer' finger wagging. No one is suggesting being white is bad. Or that all white people are bad. If you are more concerned with a person's terminology than their discrimination, it makes you sound less compassionate. The last thing someone needs is for you to dismiss their marginalization because you hate how something sounds. If terms like white supremacy, white privilege, and decentering whiteness makes you upset, that is the perfect opportunity to practice emotional intelligence by asking yourself 1) what are you feeling 2) why you are feeling it and 3) and how you can navigate through it. If you cannot or do not want to, keep on scrolling. And that's the #TuesdayTea! ☕️ #DiversityAndInclusion #Diversity #RacialEquity #Equality #AntiRacism Image credit: Shereen Daniels 🇬🇧🇯🇲🇬🇾 Image description: a comment decision tree starting with a Black person talking about racism. From there it asks are you able to comment without tone-policing and other racist behaviors. If not, then please leave the conversation.
I am pro-Black ... that does not mean I am anti-White folks. By making this statement it is my way of dialing-down the temperature. But, I also recognize it as a way to be heard. I am all for hue-manity's growth and I recognize that albeit a form of tone policing, but a necessary part of effective communication. So whenever someone says they are pro-Black ... anti-White folks should not be the next thought. With that said, I want all White folks to be Antiracist and anti-white supremacy culture...
Since I was a kid, I could not grasp the whole race thing. I fell in love with an Inuit girl and it broke my heart when my very right wing Father refused to allow me to see her. I just didn't get it. My first girlfriend in High school was a first nation girl in central BC. I did not grow up with many people of color around me but as I grew up I found some of my best memories were with people other than my own race. I watched the Fair housing act change the real estate world in the 60s and my Father refusing to sell his home to a black family. I listened to him when he told me how disgusting it was to share a bottle of soda with a black person. I just did not get it. I ran away at fifteen because I could not live in a world like his. I admit that as a white person I have privilege. In this country I have seen my advantage over and over again. I'll be honest though, It is very hard to give up this privilege. I don't want to give up any advantage I have in this messed up world. That said I also don't want others to suffer because of it. The whole thing is ridiculous, we are all human beings and we deserve to be treated as such. White supremacy is a lie and a cancer in our world and needs to be eradicated.
Applying Priviledge as broadly as you do is a mistake! I don't care what you say, its a free country. But if you want that right then you will have to respect mine too and learn to have civil discourse not argumentative acusatory language. I have been in enough conversations with supposed intelluctual elites who have no understanding of who they are talking to claiming my priviledge and trying to put me on the defensive. They know nothing about me. This language does not allow for constructiveness or for finding areas of mutual agreement. It also allows the user to have no responsibility for their own actions or their own decisons! Marginalized groups whether they are marginalized by race or any other characteristic are in a difficult position. We as a country need to come together to raise each other up and still allow our culture to shine. An Opinion. I think its a good opinion. But as I said, Its a free country believe what you want!
White people, we need to grow in our understanding of decentering whiteness. And then do it.
The only term I'd like to change is white privilege. The problem is that it puts the average white dude on the defensive - "I worked for everything I got..." so the whole discussion is immediately derailed. Black dis-privilege is more descriptive but not better and certainly not encompassing in the way that it should be. I just have to say - keep sharing stories. Make it personal. I still get so angry and aggravated when folks don't get it. So until we can find better ways to communicate - keep saying it louder for those folks in the back!
I live in TX where those in power are afraid of DEI & CRT and have bastardized the comprehensive definitions. Meanwhile, there are white male executives and HR leaders in corporations, institutions, organizations and state agencies who purport to be allies that are afraid and aren't thoroughly educated or even invested enough to be practitioners, fierce advocates and co-conspirators for the cause. It's just performative allyship and therefore, they revert right back to centering themselves and DEI efforts unfortunately become Dead End Initiatives.
Tone policing is like HOA rules. A few decide for all what is allowable, correct, proper or offensive.
Wowsers. So, let me get this straight, racists are getting their feelings hurt because folks are noting they are racists? Maybe they should stop being racists.
Stop it!
Catalyzing diversity and organizational change for sustainable growth.
1moSpot on! In Germany I've been in a lot of white spaces where even saying the word racism is a no-no. They want to talk about "cultural identities/origins". Yet, what they mean is non-white people. The moment you drop the r-word especially relating to their own space people shut down and deny it could ever happen. Historically, this is because racism has been labelled as something Nazis did in Hitler-Germany and then his fanatic followers in today's time. We have demonized racism as something that only extremists use. Today we are really in debted to the tireless work of so many BIPoC educators and others you are changing that narratives. My only comment to other white people is: Shut up and listen. It's okay if it feels uncomfortable.