When someone we care about is hurting, it's only natural to want to say something that will help them recover. Yet too often we choose words that don't help—like these.
1/ "I know it hurts. Would you like a technique that helps a person get through this?" Grief is a depression range emotion. It involves a loss. It is a shock when someone close passes on, we have many emotions over it, and many times a person gets stuck in it, and can't pull though without help. My podcast on Depression talks about this technique, I used it to stop my crying fits and breakdowns after my father died in 2016. 7 months later, it was my sister. I loved them both. With PTSD, it hit me very hard. https://anchor.fm/steve-barham/episodes/Happiness-Is-No-Charge-0009---Depression-Emotions-ek7jpf My ebook, "Target: Depression", teaches technique and is on SALE til the end of the month. I had horrible breakdowns even with the technique. It took 4 months or so to be in my father's bedroom for more than a few minutes, but it worked. Episodes got fewer and fewer, and less intense and stopped. I was able to get the work done without constantly breaking down. Benefit, when you need to go do things. I am a 15 year emotional researcher with PTSD, and I had nightmares and other issues. Technique helped stop them too. See 2/
It's one of those hand-on-head days, where you've goofed and something fell out of your mouth that you thought about but didn't know how to say otherwise known as Gobsmacked! I've said some harsh things in my time and just thought it was funny, but the other person has found it cruel. These days I just offer the olive branch and stay well clear of the conversation. Empathy I have, a big mouth is another story and at the time when you're mouth has dried up and you can't think of anything because your brain has skited out too, its better to just smile and offer a hug and that's all you can do without making a meal out of it.
The last one I have found is the most important - just be present but silent. A person dealing with grief is going through a mix of emotions and just having your presence can be the best support for that person.
That you know EXACTLY what they are going through....now, you may be able to familiarize yes & I think thats fine to express but we don't really understand exactly what someone else is experiencing in grief...as we all experience it in our own way.
There is no right way to grieve, it's okay to not know what to say.
I am one that believes in checking in long after the funeral. The most difficult/sad time starts 6-8 weeks after the funeral. This when many people return to daily life. Those who grieve are just beginning their journey.
With this type of situation let her seek for counseling which am available for
Wise words and guidance.
Thought-provoking
Emotional Researcher at Happiness Is No Charge
1mo2/ When grief and other emotions are processed, the LOVE can come back up and THAT is what is remembered. Love is not lost or gone, it is just covered with a type of "Emotional Mud"... Chip off the mud, the love and pleasant memories come back up, and isn't that the best way to remember and honor our loved ones? Technique works well on deaths of pets even...