Roberta Nouari’s Post

Covenant House does such important work and are looking for two important roles on the board. If you want to really make a difference then volunteering on a Board for a non profit is a great way to put that in to action.Of course not the only way but often you overlooked as to how big your impact can be. We need more professionals to look to give their expertise back to the community organizations. When the world generally doesn’t want charities to fund administration from their donations, board expertise can often aid in providing insights that they would not otherwise be able to afford. Be active with your voice and find ways to share your knowledge! #buildingstrongcommunities

I love this.. great follow on to my earlier post about women’s value as they age. This, however, would apply to any age. It’s about feeling the value in your voice. I have encountered this a number of times and often my voice gets stifled because I don’t want to make others uncomfortable with furthering my point of view. Who gains from that? Certainly not those I serve at any level. I am fortunate to have worked with a great many leaders who have supported my courage to have a POV. It’s not so for everyone and I see many younger women choosing to leave vs finding the confidence and courage to speak out. I feel the need to lead by example so they know it is safe to do. I will commit to this.. will you?! Doesn’t matter your gender you can be an example for safe space to be courageous! #findingyourvoice #leadingfromwhereyouare #safespacesforcourgaeousvoices

This is so timely. We have been having a lot of conversations at home and with friends around "adulting" as my daughter calls it. I think Melinda (and her guests) hit it on the head, it really is about aging and that fear that with that process we hold less value. We start life feeling like we have the most value and as we walk our journey slowly we start to feel less and less valued. Recently I encountered a situation where my age came up for conversation as it relates to my professional experience, and normally I would have been offended, but I am looking at it as an opportunity to ask questions and provoke thought with others. I am not completely unaware that I come from a different generation and that generations look at work and careers differently. I know there are things I can learn from generations both before, after and similar to my own. Generational gaps or theories are not new. We have discussed how to manage them for a great many years. However, to infer that as a result of someone's age they have lost the ability to relate, to listen or even understand is not only an insult, it is very close minded. All of this ties back to my thoughts around inclusion. Ageism means you are eliminating populations based on what you perceive their abilities or priorities to be, on age. Ironically starting my career I faced the reverse of today, being told I was too young to manage a team (not enough experience), or mid way through when asked as to when I would be getting married/having children, since it might limit my dedication to a role/company, or mean my other priorities that would conflict with my abilities to prioritize work. Today it is apparently my "elder" age that is impacting my abilities. I could not possibly be able to nor want to learn from others since I am "on my way out of working for a living". There is a whole generation of Tik Tok influencers who promote the gap and mock generations opposite theirs. I can hardly wait until I reach the age of someone assuming I "need help" as that will be interesting. Working with the Alzheimer's Society I know there are a lot of assumptions around our senior population so I think about it often. In the discussions Melinda has with her guests Gayle says "Aging is just another word for living". If you live you gain experience, and if you listen with curiosity you can learn from that experience, regardless of the age of the storyteller or your own age. I respect someone's experience and what they bring as an individual without thought to their age or time of life. Do you dismiss opinions/abilities of colleagues, relatives or strangers because you see their age first? #beinghuman #inclusivemeanseveryone

I have a really good friend who often talks about the "invisible" illnesses and how they are forgotten. Remember that post about being indivisible ( https://lnkd.in/gjsBjj4Q) and how there are stories we tell ourselves that maybe no longer hold truth or ever did?! As I have written before (https://lnkd.in/g_RHHxVT) I struggle with an eating disorder. Most of you will think, "well that is visible" and yet you are wrong. You don't know the pain of what you put yourself through mentally every time you look at, consider or even think about food unless you have suffered from this disorder. It is not a visible disorder, even though our bodies can be affected, because most of it is in our brain, and often trauma related. From a 2022 CTV report - " The National Eating Disorder Centre (NEDIC) estimates that, “at any given time,” between 840,000 and 1,750,000 people in Canada have symptoms of eating disorders." ( https://lnkd.in/gqhWpDAk). I struggle, and have for years, at social events due to an abundance of food and drink available. I always feel like someone will be watching and the undercurrent of insecurities in my brain kick in. The worst part is even if I resist the food there, the feeling will leave me with the urge to binge later in secret. Now I hear the words.. "just don't", and I know that everyone has well intended words behind their comments, but it is not that easy. While in the pandemic shutdown I started my journey towards battling my inner demons. I stopped drinking alcohol entirely (didn't have an issue but felt it held me back), I started working with an internal medicine doctor and I worked on my mental health. Going back to work post pandemic has been a struggle, I have had to learn how to recondition myself. New in this world is the judgement of the media, peers and friends with the rise of medications to help people with their challenges. I hear the judgement in the strangest settings, and am often shocked by the lack of awareness by those around me. Do you realize that by shaming anyone doing whatever they need to do to get healthy you are actually making it worse? How are you really creating an inclusive workplace or society by forming opinions and voicing them without considering their impact? Yes there are pros and cons to everything you do medically. That is a personal choice and what I choose to do is none of your business. This is not an admission to what I am doing on my journey it is a call out for people to be more sensitive. Want true inclusivity ? Use your words with kindness. #inclusivemeansall #indivisible

Feminist and feminism - what do those words mean to you? For me, growing up there were mixed messages. From my parents I was led to believe these were radicals and not people I should associate with. With my peers it was reverence for those that made change and the knowledge we should keep the momentum going but to do it meant you fell into an exclusive social category where it led all you did. For some reason I never quite figured out how I felt about it. Yes I believed in women having equal rights, of course, but using that "word" really made me feel conflicted. I never wanted to be in the "radical camp" or "typecast", so I was always cautious and often found myself saying "but I am not a feminist". During my weekend reflection, I was thinking more about the "stories we tell ourselves" and happened to catch an interview with Cindy Lauper (https://lnkd.in/gbE2YU4S) which then led me down a rabbit hole into a Ted Talk with Annie Lennox (https://lnkd.in/g5VQDTMs) and finally a deep conversation with a close friend after watching Cabrini - https://lnkd.in/g8mkQDGT. In the movie Cabrini says to the Pope " we can serve our weakness or we can serve our purpose". Led me to face my weakness - my fear of excluding others or being excluded -and the realization I was rejecting a term which was serving my purpose - Feminism. How would I feel if others before me had done the same? What would I be missing in my life? So today I will now say I am a feminist. I believe women deserve equal rights, equal pay and full say over their bodies. Not a debate for me, and as Annie Lennox says "we don't hate men, we hate misogynistic behaviour". I am grateful for what other feminists have done to bring the world to a better place for my daughter, and there is still much to do so I need to keep striving for change. I want to be able to know I don't have to worry about people taking my daughter's beauty (or any woman's) as their freedom to disrespect her by thinking they can comment on it, or that she is not as smart or capable as a male counterpart. I don't want my daughter to tackle the same hurdles of being judged as aggressive or emotional simply because she is female and speaking her mind. My purpose is to create an indivisible community where all are equal. I am embracing feminism and I encourage all of you to think about what is holding you back from serving your purpose. #livingyourpurpose #rethinkyourstories #indivisiblecommunities

Nine years ago today my life did another personal dip as I left a bad relationship and moved my kids for the 2nd time in less than a year. It was a rough couple of years trying to navigate changes professionally and personally, and was on the heels of a few tough years so I was pretty exhausted. 2017 my life changed. I was fortunate enough to join an amazing team of people at Deloitte. I can’t say enough about how much I finally felt as though I was home. I was able to show up as who I always wanted to be and find unlimited opportunities to learn. In addition because of the organization’s belief in making an impact I was able to give back to the community who had supported me for years. Thank you to ALL of you who have been part of that journey and encouraged me to keep on my path and believing in me. Just to name a few.. Kari Lockhart, Manpreet Dhillon, Camila Merlano , Sophia Tham, Jason Novakovski , Barbara Coates, and so many more amazing people. This year I was recognized as a National Community Changemaker. https://lnkd.in/gxnGFg42 I can not tell you how much it has meant to me. It feels like I am finally able to live out my purpose and values in my career. There have been many paths in my career which I have enjoyed and likely still more to come. The last 7 years, however, has been finding energy to explore who I can fully be in my career. Truly an #onlyatDeloitteexperinece.

Yesterday after attending the #ArtofLeadershipWomen conference I was struck by the impact the first speaker had on me. Denise Hamilton was the speaker and if you have not heard her, please find an opportunity. I hadn't and feel truly lucky to have now done so. It is not just the words she spoke but the belief in these being her true values. It is powerful when you can listen to someone and it leaves you with the desire to make change. I am just starting to read her book - Indivisible - but I will leave you with something from the first few pages: "To be Indivisible is to move through the world with a deep understanding of the value, strength and beauty of others. It goes beyond knowledge. It is a practice of bridging difference to activate the unique capabilities of others and of yourself." Here is my challenge: How will you be Indivisible in your life? How do you show up valuing the strength and beauty of others professionally and personally? Where are you creating bridges? #indivisible #strongercommunities https://lnkd.in/gZzTKn2C

I was super fortunate to be invited to attend this screening with my colleague Parbati Gohain Baruah, Amy Sherwood and Forum Naik . I know we all walked away with renewed energy to create change in how people think about the business of non profits. Thank you to United Way BC - Lower Mainland Region and Neeti (Khosla) Khullar for the invite. Too often I hear ‘we need to control our overhead’ in board meetings or ‘I don’t contribute to them because they spend too much on adverising and salaries’. Truly ironic that we don’t look instead at the impact that organization is making and if they are successful in their mission/vision. Stop looking for ways to control your donation to the non profit and instead be a believer in what they will do. If you don’t believe in their ability to do the work because you can’t see proof then ask. I don’t know many agencies who can’t tell you the data behind their success/work. We forget these are the people solving the real world problems of hunger, homelessness, addiction, food insecurity, access to water, inclusion and the rights to exist safely for all. Watch the movie or Dan’s TED talk. It will open your eyes and restart your heart. Be a good donor, think about giving these agencies the tools they need to do the hard work. They have gone into this with their heart and soul so show your compassion by giving them support where they need it. Truly compassionate communities don’t expect perfection. #uncharitable #compassionategivimg

PERFECTION - the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. I am thinking about this a lot these days. I am hyper vigilant in trying to be perfect. Of course in my ‘front’ brain I know that is unrealistic but there is a driving need for me to always be ‘on my game’ and never allow anyone to find fault in my work. This bleeds into my personal life as the cycle of worry that accompanies perfectionism and results in less patience plus mental and emotional exhaustion. Earlier this week I had a clear reminder of how this impacts others around me. I often say you lead from where you are so despite not ‘officially’ being a leader I am leading by example for new employees or those starting their career. So I need to stop the cycle, but how. This led me to thinking about failure and what really happens if I make a mistake. I am not a surgeon or a first responder so no one dies. So where is the fear coming from? Did you know there is a term for it? atychiphobia - https://lnkd.in/gVJRG8ZT In the process of thinking about change I realized the space in which I choose to allow failure is important. Will it be supported? Will my leaders and peers create safety and will they use language that is supportive and free of admonishments. How will my own language and behaviour need to adapt so I am okay with them not being perfect in their behaviour either. It is all about expectations I suppose. What you expect of others and yourself. Which leads me to point (sorry it took so long) of how we have created an environment lacking in compassion which then perpetuates fear. So how do we change that? I am wondering how you all look at your own words and behaviour when failure happens amongst our peers, family or general public. Do we allow others to fail? Are we thinking with a compassionate mind? Often we don’t know what is resulting in that error. Is it a lack of time (too many deadlines), are there things going on in someone’s personal or professional life causing distractions, is it they are too afraid to ask for help? End result.. a little compassion and thinking before we act or speak will go a long way. Be curious, leave your bias or assumptions and your own fear of failure at the door. You will not only learn a lot but you will have a much healthier environment to work/live. #compassionatemind #curiousleadership