Nicole Smith’s Post

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Judging Others Criticizing and judging others. Everyone does it and everyone thinks it’s ok. We criticize people about what they wear, how they walk, about their weight and about their hairstyles. Harmless you might say. Maybe it’s true that your judgments won’t hurt these people directly because you’re not speaking to their faces, but is it really harmless? Because, here is what happens next: You stand in front of the mirror and those same voices who judged the people you were watching now target you. Just like you judged everyone out there, you are now judging yourself. I look fat in this. My hair is ugly. My nose is too big. My clothes are hideous. You tell yourself all the things you think about others, and yes, others say the same of you. And that’s why we need to stop doing this, now. We need to stop criticizing people about their appearances, even if it seems harmless and just for fun. Because, all the things you said about others will eventually make their way home with you and eventually, you’ll say them to yourself. What we need to do is look in the mirror and be happy with who we are, the way we are. We need to be happy with the way we smile and the ways we look. If you can see other people this way, you can see yourself this way. Look at other people with compassion and love. Not judgment and criticism.

I believe that sometimes guilt can be helpful. If you behave in a way that is not aligned with your values or what really matters to you or who you want to be, guilt is understandable and can actually benefit you. It tells you this is something or someone you care about and serves as a cue to pay attention. You can look at it *without being hard on yourself* and ask: What is the guilt trying to tell me? For example, if I yell at my kids and I feel guilty about it, that’s understandable -- it’s not the parent I want to be. Or the year I missed out on taking them trick or treating because I was away on a business trip -- being present for those moments is important to me. The trick is to notice the guilt and then choose to reframe it, take action to make it better, or learn from it and let it go -- whatever works for you to turn down the volume on the guilt. BUT what often happens – and is 100% NOT helpful – is we feel guilty about choices that ARE aligned with what you want or need or who you want to be. For example, when you say no to taking on a new project at work because you’re already spread thin or want to focus, but then feel guilty. When you decline attending a family get together because you need some personal time or don't want to go, but then feel guilty. Or even when missing your kid's event because you need a night off or want to do something else important to you, but then feel guilty! This guilt steals your presence. It steals your joy. It wastes your energy. It leaves you feeling more stressed and less balanced. And you miss out on enjoying the benefit of doing the thing you really want to do. In these moments, it's definitely time to turn down the volume. So, where do you need to let go of the guilt, and what helps you to turn down the volume? Share in the comments! P.S. Sharing a throwback photo from a year when I did go trick or treating in the spirit of today being Halloween (I didn't seem to have the time to change after work back then😉). #balancedleaders

Did you know? The average 4-year-old laughs 400 times a day, while the average adult only laughs 4-15 times a day. But laughter isn't just for kids. 🔸 It reduces stress and boosts resilience. 🔸 It enhances creativity and cognitive function. 🔸 It strengthens social connections and relationships. ➡️ What or who brings out your laughter? Share your joy below!

Yesterday, a colleague called me a weirdo, and it ruined my mood for the rest of the day. It wasn’t just what she said but how she said it. Being sensitive and emotional, I dislike when people mask making fun of others as a joke. It made me question myself, "Am I really weird?", "How can I act less weird?"... "I wonder what they say when I'm not around". These thoughts kept running through my head. I was also a bit upset when another colleague made fun of my shoes. Despite wearing a really pretty dress, she chose to talk about my shoes. I mean, they are my shoes for crying out loud and I wore them because I can! 😁 Now, before you say I was being too sensitive, you need to understand that not everyone can take a 'joke,' and not every joke is really a joke, because people know exactly what they are doing. it’s unkind to make fun of others, even if you think it's harmless. And it's not just what you say, but how you say it. My friends and siblings made me feel better last night, and this morning, I saw this video on my TL reminding me that I shouldn’t care about others' opinions and should love myself more. This video came at the right time. I've decided to stop caring about people's opinions and focus on loving myself and being confident. Self-love and confidence are key. We should also strive to be kind and considerate to each other. And whether we like it or not, people are always going to find something to say about us. So, why not give them something to talk about?

Day 16 https://lnkd.in/e-AEggAs Tool 16: Random Act of Kindness Kindness There is a lot of noise around the subject kindness in the media. Don’t get me wrong, much of it comes from a good place but some of the blander messaging borders on, what gives my job a bad name: toxic positivity. So much so, that it could be easy to slip into cynicism and, what I call, ‘kindness fatigue’. So today, I’m asking you to look at kindness to supercharge, not only your own well-being, but that of other people. How? Well, by applying the Random Act of Kindness Practice. Like the radical humility practice, I defy you to carry out a RAK and not be flooded with a sense of enormous well-being. Here’s the thing. It doesn’t just impact you either. Studies show that every RAK performed could have a ripple effect on even more people. Look at this little video: https://lnkd.in/ehxJi3eS A friend of mine shares encouraging messages on little cards (see @Secret scribbles on insta). Another, likes to buy an extra coffee for the person behind her in the queue; a practice known widely on social media as ‘Paying it Forward’. A former colleague of mine had a little anonymous practice to uplift her work friends called ‘You’ve been mugged’, where people would receive a mug full of treats and a little note of thanks and then get tasked with refilling it and passing it on anonymously. On the back of this ‘feel-good’ treat for the staff, I introduced it to my classes for their Friday ‘pick-me-up’. They loved it! Today, the choice is yours. Right, I’m off to town with a pocket full of Quality Streets to distribute randomly. (Not the strawberry ones though. Come on, I never said I was Mother Theresa!) Strength Spot-evening How have I used my strengths today? Lace up and get out there!!

Ooooh this is good. Lifted from Cory Muscaras book Stop Missing Your Life. “The outer edges of the box, represent what you might be looking for – connection, authenticity, love, freedom – but the immediate box around you represents what you might need to feel and risk in order to get there – vulnerability, shame, rejection, instability. In most circumstances, it’s the potential pain we associate with what we want, consciously or unconsciously, that keeps us in the same place, with the same people, the same belongings, and the same frustrations, even though we most desperately want something else.” There’s always a risk isn’t there? To ask for help. To speak your truth. To express your needs. To let down your guard. To be the first to reach out. To let yourself be fully seen. To share your deepest fears. To admit you’ve not got it all figured out. But if we don’t take the risk, We stay in that box. Cut off from the experiences and people that will make us feel truly alive. I’m taking this in to the new week. Asking myself this question; ❓ Where am I allowing fear to hold me hostage and what one (potentially risky) step will I commit to taking this week to escape? Would you like to play along? ••• Meanwhile, back to my painting den I go. 🎨 It’s a great place to ponder. Painting on a black canvas for the first time today. Black and neon pink. Let’s see how that goes…. Happy Sundaying one and all. With love and solidarity. Yvonne x #parentcoach #parenting #dontletfearwin

Here's your reminder to make a kind gesture today :) As stress and anxiety become increasingly common, small gestures of kindness can provide much-needed relief. This can go a long way in both personal and professional life. Consider this: A boss notices an employee looking overwhelmed with their workload. He then takes a moment to acknowledge their hard work and offers a helping hand or a day off. This can significantly boost the employee's morale and productivity. Another example in personal life: Imagine a friend who remembers your favorite coffee and surprises you with it during a hectic day. This small act can instantly lift your spirits and show you that someone cares. Here’s a picture of me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. A small gesture by a friend who delivered it to me because I was having a bad day. The smile on my face shows how a small act of kindness can turn a frown upside down. 😄 P.s. When was the last time you made a kind gesture for someone?

We all enjoy a good laugh, especially when we can poke a little fun at ourselves. But there's a fine line between humor and self-deprecation. When we put ourselves down constantly, even in a joking manner, it can have an impact on our self-esteem and the way others look at us. What starts as lighthearted banter slowly chips away at our confidence and reinforces negative beliefs about ourselves. It's essential to recognize that our own words carry weight, even when they're meant as a joke. By making a habit of self-deprecating humor, we might invite others to see us in the same diminished light and start believing those things about ourselves. Instead, let's focus on lifting ourselves up, celebrating our strengths, and embracing our quirks without turning them into daily punchlines. There's power in positive self-talk, and it can transform how we see ourselves and also how others see us. Next time you're tempted to make a joke at your own expense, stop and ask yourself: Is this really how I want to talk about myself? Let's commit to treating ourselves with the respect and kindness we deserve.

In a world often bustling with busyness and individual pursuits, it’s moments like these that remind us of the profound impact of simple human connections. The spontaneous hug from the young boy to the police officer serves as a heartwarming testament to the power of kindness. 1: Kindness Transcends Barriers No matter our roles or responsibilities, kindness can bridge the gap between strangers. Take, for example, when a passerby helps another pick up dropped groceries; it’s a small act, but it can transform someone’s day from frustrating to hopeful. 2: Recognition Nourishes the Soul The officer’s reaction shows how recognition of one’s service, even after 22 years, can be deeply affirming. Similarly, when we take a moment to thank our mail carrier or smile at our bus driver, we acknowledge their presence and contribution to our daily lives. 3: Small Gestures Have Big Impacts A hug might seem minor, but its effects can be monumental. Consider how sharing a compliment with a coworker can boost their confidence or how holding the door for someone can ease their burden. In conclusion, this touching interaction between the boy and the police officer illuminates the essence of humanity: we are all seeking connection, appreciation, and kindness. Let’s carry this lesson forward and find ways to incorporate small acts of compassion into our everyday lives. They might just make someone’s day—or even change a life. If you like this, kindly FOLLOW or CONNECT with Martin Landry ®️. Thank you.

“You Can’t See It” If you walk down most crowded streets you might see someone in a wheelchair that suggests that he or she might have a challenge walking. On the same street you might see someone who has a broken arm because they are wearing a sling around their neck. Walk a little more and you might see someone using a cane that suggests that they are having difficulty walking. If you look, to your left or right, you might see someone who is blind and it using a walking-stick to navigate in order to help them walk safely in public. What you may not realize is that everyone you see has struggles that you cannot see. Those struggles might be self-doubt, depression, pain, regret, fear, anger, sadness and other emotions. All of those feelings are generated from the brain…something that you cannot see walking down most crowded streets. We, often, judge others by what we perceive while ignoring what we cannot perceive. We judge others by how they behave while having zero knowledge of why they are behaving in certain ways because you and I can’t see inside people’s heads. There is so much that you do not know about other people’s lives versus what you assume, about other people, from what you see and hear on a daily basis. Many people are hurting, emotionally, all around you. I think it is important to practice the habit of being kind because, in many cases, your kindness might be the only source of kindness that someone might see and hear on any particular day. Plato is alleged to have written: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” Again, you cannot see what’s going on in someone’s head. I think author Stephen R. Covey said it well: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” Author Shannon Alder said, “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” You might be the only one, in someone’s life, who understands that there is more to someone than what we can see on the outside. John W. Carver, LUTCF [email protected]