10 pieces of advice to my younger self - if only I knew this 20 years ago part II

Hello back again to the other 5 of 10 pieces of advice to my younger self. You might want to catch up with the first 5 here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-advice-my-younger-self-only-i-knew-20-years-ago-rotermund/

In essence: this article I would have wanted to read 20 years ago – it would have saved me so much time, effort and hard learning.

So, what’s coming after mentor, networking, finding allies, communicating concise and problem solving like a boss? Let's dive into part II of this story.

6. Stop saying "I'm sorry"

This is an advice especially for young women at the beginning of their career AND throughout it. Women tend to say “I’m sorry” more often than men do (listen to this great HBR podcast: Women Work “Sorry, not sorry!”(https://hbr.org/podcast/2019/05/sorry-not-sorry) What it does: it harms your perception as someone strong who knows what you want. Stop excusing for everything. You’re one or two minutes late? “Thank you for waiting for me!” could be an alternative to “Sorry, I am late!” - even worse when no question was raised turning your excuse into a justification, making you look insecure.

Instead of excusing yourself, give facts! You have been very concise (bravo!) and someone approaches you saying, “You have quite sharp elbows!” Thank him for his comment, replying “I never knew you get bruises so easily!” or “Well see, I am practicing being more concise in my job and maybe I am not quite there. So, help me – how could I have done it better?” No excuses where they are not helpful! And if you really have to excuse – mean it!

7. Get feedback constantly

Feedback is the breakfast of champions and that is universally true! I hated these video recordings of me presenting but they taught me good lessons. Sometimes the feedback was bitter, sometimes sweet but every feedback helps you to grow – as long as it is specific. If you do not get feedback – ask for it. You can ask for institutionalized feedback once a quarter and ask questions like “How do you think I am doing in regards to…” or “On a scale from 1-10, how am I doing in this and why?”.

You can ask for feedback on the fly so people would let you know in the very moment it happens. You can reach out to peer2peer feedback, using 360° feedback tools etc. If you are eager to get feedback e.g. for a presentation, ask one person to watch you closely during the presentation and get feedback afterwards. Look for patterns. If feedback of a certain kind comes back over and over again, make a plan and find an ally to tackle this. Whatever it is, bitter or sweet: digest it, write it down, work on it to grow! Qualifying your strengths is one thing. Getting rid of a behavior that might hold you back from taking the next steps is another task!

8. Reflect - have a GoodBook

Your first great success, the rush of adrenaline in the blood and all these sweet endorphins – priceless! Enjoy it as the weather can change fast. For the dark days I wished I had a GoodBook like I have now for the past 10 years. You can end up in really challenging and demanding situations, where you start questioning yourself, whether you are good enough for this job, what are you capable of anyways? A GoodBook is a safe haven, something to nourish your soul. And yes, also men need this 😉

Collect all the good feedback, recognition, “thank yous, all the warm words, successes of yours in a book – the GoodBook – or a folder, a shoe box, etc. and dig it out, when you feel low in energy, are drowning in worries.. Reading through it tricks your brain and wires it back at least into normal status. It boosts your confidence and helps you to get along.

Low time invest, big effects!

9. Go the extra mile but don't run into burnout!

As a young professional you are full of energy and the world is yours! But even Superman is sleeping from time to time! Go the extra mile, show that you are ambitious and willing to learn and grow but have a rest from time to time as well. You will learn pretty soon that this is not a sprint but a marathon. Your brain needs more time than you think to digest and put learnings into context. When you’re tired because of sleep deprivation, your stamina will suffer, your decisions aren’t half as good which can lead to mistakes resulting in very negative impact on your career.

Be careful where to invest your extra time. Is it to please someone or can you actually learn something out of an additional task? And IF it is a tedious task – try to find something useful in it. I used to read all the strategies I had to make carbon copies with the ancient copying machine in my very early days in the job. I have to say: I learned quite a bit from the copy machine 😉

10. Read - Listen - Watch

When I was younger, I was pretty busy with myself on the quest to do everything right. One day a very wise person came to me and challenged me to be less perfect and instead invited me to observe. “What do you see?” he frequently asked me and I told him what I saw. And then he told me everything I did NOT see – the hidden agendas, the politics, the alliances, the quid pro quo, the fears, wishes and desires of people around me to better understand every single situation. I learned A LOT from it. To set the focus more on others lets you learn like in an accelerator.

“Listen!” he told me over and over again. “What did you hear?” and – you know it – of course he heard so much more out of a couple of phrases than I would. He told me about the four ears model by Schulz von Thun (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four-sides_model) which helped me ever since to detect the true story behind some beautiful sentences. And occasionally, he would stop by my desk, dropping some magazines or books onto it. “You might want to read them.” he would say smiling.

I am thankful, lucky and blessed to have had great people around me who helped me on my way, shaped me, supported me. This is a gift I have received, and it should not stay with one person alone. So, I pass on the baton to the next generation of bright women and men. And if they see me smiling from time to time, it might be that I am repeating history in saying something stupid like “You might want to read this article!”